Women and Careers, tip 5 in my mini series for career women. I’ve talked about the importance of listening well in a previous tip. Now we’re on the importance of getting your voice heard. If you’re finding these tips helpful, do sign up for my newsletter.
Women And Careers – Speaking Up
Assertive women in the workplace can still find themselves described as ‘too pushy’ or ‘bossy’. (Here’s an extra tip: if you ever hear someone describing a wee girl as bossy tell them firmly that’s she’s merely displaying her future leadership skills.)
Consequently, many of us have learned behaviours to protect against being labelled pushy and bossy. Instead of directly owning our ideas in meetings or at work, we offer it in the form of a question. For example, ‘Do you think it might be better if we….?’
Conversational Tic?
If this sounds like you, please stop right now! It’s probably become something like a conversational tic to start sentences as a question, rather than stating what you mean. You are giving away your power and your ideas. If you don’t sound like you think it’s a good idea, who else will? This style of communication can sometimes irritate others, too, as it’s not always clear. (Although in other areas of it can be very emotionally intelligent to use this type of communication in order to be sensitive to others feelings).
If you are speaking to a roomful of men (and the more senior you get the more likely this is to be the case) they want a headline. I’m not saying it’s a good thing, (it is not) but they do not listen well to women. You need to grab them with a clear headline. Rather than ‘do you think we could ‘ try ‘This is what I think is a good option…’. You may need to practice getting comfortable with saying ‘I’ a lot. Women do a lot of ‘we’-ing…
Read this research carried out by Dr Judith Baxter on women in boardrooms. It’s fascinating.
Take Credit
Which is lovely most of the time, but if you’re on a career trajectory you need to get credit for your wonderfulness. (Is that a word? It is now.) If you don’t take the credit you can be sure someone else will.
At work, if you have an idea or statement to put forward make sure you take responsibility and ownership. Don’t offer it as a gift for someone else to enjoy. You might get the blame, but then again, you’re much more likely to get the credit.
I frequently coach women in this area; often just one session can get to the nub of the issue. Try observing other speakers and notice which style gets results and the kudos. Be wonderful!
Top Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com
RenewYou, My Tried and Tested Career Booster!
RenewYou has helped thousands of women make positive and lasting change in their lives. I deliver it one-to-one as part of a bespoke coaching package for women looking to move into leadership, to progress their career, or who wish to be the absolute best version of themselves.
Posted on March 5th, 2023 by Jane
