We all mistakes. We have to or we’d never learn anything at all.
Mistakes and Post It Notes
I’m guessing that you know the story about post it notes? Some guy invented a glue only it didn’t stick properly. He thought he’d failed but some years later another guy (always guys…?) discovered it worked with keeping things temporarily in his hymn book. It became an overnight success 6 years later.
I think that 6 year gap is significant.
At the time we make a mistake we can’t always see how it could possibly be good for us.
Let me share a little personal story.
My Disastrous Love Affair
Decades ago I was in a relationship with a lad I was convinced was the love of my life. Listening to no one, I insisted on going to a polytechnic in London. (Polytechnics were precursors of Universities and generally considered less good at the time.) I just had to be near him, dear reader.
Of course, it didn’t work out. I realised I was on a course I didn’t like and wasn’t doing great at. I was 19, living in a grotty little bedsit with a shared bathroom. Yuck. In a house full of men in other bedsits who made my life horrendous, (see shared bathroom note above.) Plus, the guy who had the flat (3 rooms!) on the ground floor used to lie in wait for me. He’d try and lure me in to see his budgies. I kid you not. That is not a euphemism. He had a budgie act! With tightropes and bikes and everything.
I made the naive mistake of going in once and barely escaped. I literally ran for the door, dodging him like a seventies sitcom. Although I did first get treated to his budgie act… he was very proud of it and had been on TV twice. Yes, I had to see a recording of that, too.
Cut Your Losses from Mistakes
Eventually I conceded defeat. Not with budgie man. I never gave in to him. But the relationship was all wrong. I walked away. Or rather I crawled home, feeling a complete failure. Everyone had been so pleased I’d got good A levels. I was the working class kid made good but I’d messed up. I arrived on my doorstep and collapsed into my Mum’s arms in tears. I’d got a full grant and was convinced I’d ruined my life. The local authority wouldn’t fund me again.
My parents, love ’em, didn’t have a go. They were sympathetic. My Father’s best bit of advice to me was:
“Well, you’ve made a mistake, everyone has to make their own mistakes. The trick is not to make the same one twice”
It’s good advice and I’ve quoted him often when coaching. (Although in truth he didn’t follow it himself.) Mistakes in life are inevitable. It’s what we do with the knowledge gained from making those mistakes that’s important.
In my case I got a job for the remaining 8 months.(In fact, they re=employed me every Uni holiday, mad fools.) The local authority did give me another grant. I reapplied to a University that had offered me a place I’d previously turned down and got a new boyfriend. Several new boyfriends actually… And eventually one that I’m still with over 50 years later. It turned out to be a very profitable mistake.
How To Profit From Your Mistakes
So here’s three tips to help make your mistakes profitable experiences for you:
1) Don’t give yourself too hard a time. Identify what it is you actually did wrong, and don’t rubbish everything about yourself. For example, don’t tell yourself how stupid you are, but that the thing you did wrong was maybe stupid/unfortunate. It’s quite a subtle, but powerful, distinction. It will help you distance yourself enough to look at how you behaved in a way that’s helpful to you.
2) Try to put the mistake into perspective. You could use phrases to yourself like “Well, at least I didn’t blow up the house. I only left the iron on”. Or, “Will this be important in five years time?” Laugh out loud at yourself. Re-frame the situation.
3) Be honest and admit the mistake, first to yourself and then with others. Once you admit something is wrong you can set about putting it right and also begin to learn from it. If you stay in denial there’s a strong likelihood you’ll keep repeating the same mistake, and that profits no one!
What’s the best mistake you’ve ever made?
Top Photo by Alia Vela on Unsplash
Can You Help Me Help Others?
That man I met over 50 years ago has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. Currently there is no cure. But we have had amazing support from two wonderful charities – The Firefighters Charity and Parkinson’s UK. (See more here if you want. How To Do Good For Yourself And Others). I’m offering coaching sessions with ALL the money going to them. None of it comes to me. I’m suggesting a donation of £50 for an hour’s online coaching. Just contact me jane@changingpeople.co.uk if you want to know more. Please do share this, too, if you can. I really want to give back to them. They are amazing.
RenewYou, My Tried and Tested Career Booster!
RenewYou has helped thousands of women make positive and lasting change in their lives. I deliver it one-to-one as part of a bespoke coaching package for women looking to move into leadership, to progress their career, or who wish to be the absolute best version of themselves.
Posted on March 10th, 2026 by Jane
