Older Women Are…?
When you see older women what do you see?
That is if you see them at all. Something amazing happens to women over 45/50 years of age. We become magical and start sporting the amazing cloak of invisibility. And it’s very hard to take off.
Femageism means:
employers don’t see our potential and our past wisdom.
we begin to lose confidence as we are continually treated as ‘less than’. Or worse, talked to as if we know nothing at all!
advertising is targeted at us in terms of ‘we can make you younger’ as who on earth wants to look their age?
you start getting masses of unasked literature on funeral plans (please tell me that’s just not me.)
employers lose out on a hugely valuable resource.
What I See in Older Women
I see three things in amazing older women:
- Wisdom
- Experience
- Knowledge
Importantly, I see those huge shoulders on which we all stand.
Femageism – The New Course
I’ve been banging on about femageism for ages. It drives me mad. As if women don’t face enough discrimination in life we get a double penalty for daring to age. I’m about to challenge it and I need your help. If you are over 50 (or know someone who is), do read on.
What Does Ageing Mean To You?
How do you feel about getting older? It’s been something of a conundrum for me as I negotiate the ageing process. A while ago I wrote this blog which begins thus:
I’ve got to be honest, I am frequently stopped by people and asked:
“Jane, how come you look so wonderful all the time? Gosh you only look about 66. Please share your secret.”
To which I smile to myself and then answer,
“Well, my secret is I am 66 and frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.“
Actually, I just made that bit up in an attempt to be amusing. No one has ever stopped me and said that. But bits of it are true. I am 66 (almost 67) at the time of writing and I genuinely don’t give a damn. I have a wealth of experience and knowledge and I’m proud of that. It was hard earned. I am a much better coach/trainer now that I would have been at 30.
Complimenting Older Women
But no one is going to compliment a woman by actually using their real age. No, we are patronised (it is very patronising when you really think about it) by being told a number much younger than people think we are, as some weird kind of compliment. As in ‘we all know you’re old and that is an awful and terrible thing to be so we are going to pretend that you don’t look your age, and that will be a nice thing for us to do.’
Unless that is you’ve over 75. Something seems to happen at 75 when suddenly boasting about your age is seen as sweet and worthy of applause.
‘Yes, I’m 79!’ we announce to anyone who cares to listen. Cue admiration all round. If you ever hear me doing that you have my permission to slap me (gently, because I’ll be 79). Although I’m not immune. My first reaction when someone says a surprised ‘How old did you say you were?’ is a spasm of pleasure swiftly followed by What the hell, why is that making me feel good?’
Well, we probably know the answer to that; it’s a lifetime of brainwashing about older woman being of less value.
WHICH THEY ARE NOT. Whoops, sorry for shouting. (Climbs off soap box) But it is something I want to do something about. Read on.
By the way, if you want to You can read the post here.
New Course & I Need Your Help
You might well respond Well, Jane you’ve always needed help…in which case we must have met.
Seriously though, for some time now I have been working on a course for older women. Similar in a way to RenewYou but specifically designed to look at the confidence sapping impact of being an older women in western society. And restoring that confidence. I need some volunteers to trial it. Just 6 and preferably 3 in work and 3 not. I already have three women booked on so if you can help me please get in touch soon.
I’m holding it here, near Bath, on 7th November, 2022. It will be only £99 per person. I’ll provide tea coffee, biscuits, fruit etc but you’ll need to bring a packed lunch. That’s about 30% of what it will cost when it’s launched. Email me if you’re interested, jane at changingpeople.co.uk. Please do share with any friends you think might like it. Let’s throw down the gauntlet on Femageism! Thank you!
RenewYou, My Tried and Tested Career Booster!
RenewYou has helped thousands of women make positive and lasting change in their lives. I deliver it one-to-one as part of a bespoke coaching package for women looking to move into leadership, to progress their career, or who wish to be the absolute best version of themselves.
Posted on October 18th, 2022 by Jane
