Why Is Positive Thinking Good for Me?
Is positive thinking good for you? Well, flip that question and ask yourself if negative thinking is good for you? Generally speaking the answer will be no. I am not an advocate of ignoring the facts and pretending all is well when it clearly isn’t. Neither do I think we should never get angry and passively accept our lot. Anger, directed appropriately, can be a real force for good, and positive change.
However, if you can mistress (!) the art of of positive thinking you can make yourself feel better about life. Seeking out the positives can help you feel less like a victim, more empowered and in control. And that IS good for you.
(Check out my tips for managing anger here.)
Childhood Messages
We all hold thoughts and beliefs in our head that have their roots in our childhood. We will have absorbed messages over the years from significant people in our lives. They make a profound impact on our lives now, often without us realising it. It’s so important that I have a whole section devoted to this in my personal development course for women, RenewYou. I’ve given you a shortened version to try out below.
Positive Messages
Some of these messages are great and help us live our lives to the maximum. If you had a parent or significant adult, for example, who always told you to give it a go and encouraged you to try new things, you are probably pretty good at doing just that.
On the other hand, if you had a carer who was always fearful for your safety, not allowing you to take even small risks, you may ‘hear’ that message in your head each time you try to attempt something new.
‘Stick with what you know’.
‘No good will come from it’.
‘Don’t get above yourself’.
On my RenewYou course I have a personal development exercise in helping us understand what these messages might be. I call it ‘Internal mail – save or delete?’ You could try a shortened version of it now.
Spend a few moments thinking what messages you have internalised over the years. If you find it difficult to recall, keep a note pad by you for a day and jot them down as they come into your mind. What is your default thinking? Don’t forget to include the good as well as the not so good, and try not to judge whoever brought you up; they were doing the best they could and none of us are perfect!
Review Your ‘Messages’ List
Once you have your list in front of you spend a few moments deciding which ones you want to keep. Now look at those you could well do without – the ones that hold you back, keep you down and sap your energy. These are very powerful influences on your behaviour but the good news is that you can reverse their effect.
If we want to change our habits we need to replace the old habit with a new one. So it is with negative thoughts. Challenge your negative thinking with positive thoughts. Each time an old, unhelpful thought surfaces it is taking away your energy. and your confidence. The best way to get rid of something is to replace it with something else. Can you turn your ‘I can’t‘ messages into positive ‘I can‘ ones? You’ll have to practise them a few times but it will work. Trust me, I’ve been working with women for years and this is often one of the most powerful self help exercises you can do.
RenewYou, My Tried and Tested Career Booster!
RenewYou has helped thousands of women make positive and lasting change in their lives. I deliver it one-to-one as part of a bespoke coaching package for women looking to move into leadership, to progress their career, or who wish to be the absolute best version of themselves.
Posted on February 28th, 2022 by Jane
