Here’s tip 8 in my women and careers mini series. Don’t nod, or at least be aware of when you are doing it and what you message you might be giving.
(By the way, if you’re finding these tips helpful please do sign up for my newsletter. You won’t get bombarded but you do get special offers from time to time.)
Women and Careers – Communications Styles
There is a plethora of research looking at how men and women behave in meetings. It has revealed some fascinating differences on how messages are received by different genders. (Currently this research only looks at male/female but I am sure that will change.)
The research was carried out in Europe and North America. Observers sat in on business meetings and recorded what they saw and heard. (I have no research to say what goes on in the domestic arena, which is probably a good thing. Imagine a researcher sitting in your kitchen watching you and your partner…)
Nodding May Be Bad For Women
Women are great nodders when listening. I work with large groups of women all the time and I can tell you this for a fact. We make lots of encouraging noises and nod frequently. (You might like this post – Women, Are You Saying What You Want?)
Men not so much. Yes, men nod, but in general men are more impassive when in receive mode.
The Noddy Difference
The research shows that when we women nod, in general, we are saying ‘I understand what you are saying, you can say more’.
When a man nods, in general, he is saying ‘I agree with what you are saying, say no more.’
The potential for misunderstanding is huge.
Women and Careers Coaching Tip
I frequently suggest to my coaching clients that they try, just as an experiment, to stop nodding in a few meetings and see what happens. If you genuinely agree, actually say it. If you want more information, say it. Better communication all round!
Photo Credits: Jason Goodman on Unsplash, & Cherrydeck on Unsplash
RenewYou, My Tried and Tested Career Booster!
RenewYou has helped thousands of women make positive and lasting change in their lives. I deliver it one-to-one as part of a bespoke coaching package for women looking to move into leadership, to progress their career, or who wish to be the absolute best version of themselves.
Posted on March 30th, 2023 by Jane
