Women and Careers – Don’t Be A Waitress
Here’s your sixth tip in the women and careers mini series. If you’re enjoying them do sign up for the newsletter.
This one is about something I don’t want you to do.
As women, we may have a strong connection with offering food as a form of caring and support. Yet in the world of work this can work against us. I have lost count of the meetings I’ve been in when it was tacitly assumed that one of the women present would make the tea or coffee for the meeting, provide the biscuits, entertain any visitors etc.
Share the Chores
There is nothing wrong with offering to make the drinks, for either gender at whatever level you are in an organisation. It’s part of what makes for good team building. But it should not be seen as a woman only preserve. If you always leap up to provide for the others you run the risk of being seen as less professional, as ‘Mumsy’, (when did that become an insult?) and less able than your male counterparts or other women, who sit tight. Take turns. Allow the men present the joy of giving to others.
You will also miss significant chunks of the meeting which makes it much harder to contribute. There is a body of research which shows that if women do not speak up early on in a meeting or seminar, they tend to speak much less. If you’re busy faffing with drinks for everyone you’re much more likely not to speak.
Caring Is Kind
There is nothing wrong with being kind and caring for others. But it doesn’t mean that you have to miss out on your career development by being kind. Think of other ways that you can express your caring side. However, remember that you don’t always have to be the one looking after others to prove your worth.
If you are someone who regularly cares for others in this way, try pausing next time. Sit on your hands. Think ‘I’m a professional, not a waitress’ and let one of the chaps have the pleasure.
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Posted on March 7th, 2023 by Jane
