Do you know how to listen well? I’m usually telling women to Speak Up, but in this post my message is ‘listen in’. Because being a good listener is really powerful. Good listeners usually know what’s going on in an organisation. They retain information better because they have properly heard it first time around. People will confide in a good listener.
How to Listen Properly
On the face of it this seems really easy but it isn’t. So many people are very poor listeners. You’ll know it if you’re faced with one. You can always tell if their mind is elsewhere. They’ll be glancing behind you, fidgeting, looking at their phone.
Turn to face the other person.
Remove distractions like phones, laptops.
Make appropriate eye contact (ie no mad staring , that’s weird)
Don’t look at your watch while they’re speaking. You can check your watch while you’re speaking
Be clear about how much time you have. For example, ‘I have ten minutes before my next meeting’. Then fully give them those 10 minutes.
People also love being listened to, so some of that feel good factor is attributed to the listener.
Listening well is a real art and a good listener will be a well informed woman.
Allow the Silence
Sometimes we rush to fill a silence but they serve a useful purpose. Learn to get comfortable with silence. Next time you are in a meeting and an awkward silence ensues, don’t rush to fill it. You are not responsible for rescuing the situation. Just let it be for a while. If this makes you feel uncomfortable ask yourself why. The person who knows how to hold their counsel on occasion is often seen as wise and thoughtful.
John Harvey Jones once said that a meeting without silences meant no one was thinking. Study the body language of your colleagues, aim to look comfortable and relaxed yourself but don’t rush in. Use the space to think and observe. Think about what your own body language is saying.
How To Listen Well Advice
Practise good listening in other areas of your life. When asked a question, or to solve a problem, don’t always rush to add your own thoughts or experiences. Instead, from time to time, practise focusing on the person speaking to you. Ask them questions about what they actually mean. Get them to clarify and give examples.
Speaking out loud helps people order their thoughts. They may even reach their own answers and you’ll get some of the credit for it. (that’s probably 50% of what coaching does…ahem). Don’t feel rushed into a response. Tell them you’d like some time to consider and then come back to them with a response. Always get back to them.
All photos via Unsplash
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RenewYou has helped thousands of women make positive and lasting change in their lives. I deliver it one-to-one as part of a bespoke coaching package for women looking to move into leadership, to progress their career, or who wish to be the absolute best version of themselves.
Posted on April 2nd, 2026 by Jane
