Career tip two in my series of tips for women who want to get ahead in their careers. (Yes, just what is says on the tin…) If you’d like regular updates why not sign up for my newsletter?
Tip Two – Women, Take What Is Yours
This tip was given to me by an amazing woman. She was a guest speaker on one of my women’s courses. She was very senior in her organisation and had noticed an interesting difference between the men and women she managed.
Women, Don’t Over Explain
When the men approached her for leave they simply asked for the dates they wanted, without further explanation. The women on the other hand, she noted, were generally apologetic about asking for their leave entitlement. They prefaced their request with a lengthy explanation of exactly why they wanted a day off. For example, ‘Sorry, I have to take my son to the dentist’. Or ‘Sorry, but my daughter is going on a school trip’ etc.
Overly Apologetic
Her view was that this over explaining made the women look less professional than the men. She knew that the men were probably using their time for family matters, too. But they didn’t feel the need to justify why they were asking. She felt that drawing attention to their out of work responsibilities disadvantaged women in the eyes of some senior people. They then saw them as less professional and less likely candidates for promotion.
I’m conflicted about this advice (although I’m sharing it!). This was a particularly sexist organisation as I learned from the stories women told me. The mainly male leadership probably would see someone needing time off for family matters as a weakness. What I’d like is for everyone to be open about family issues. If women stopped having babies the world would grind to a halt. They are, therefore, the responsibility of everyone. It’s not work life balance, it’s work home balance. Or just life balance.
Regardless of your position, you are allowed certain things within the terms of your contract. Usually leave is one of them. It is correct and respectful to let your line manager know, of course. but think in terms of politely informing them, not requesting permission. Or apologising for what is yours by right.
Top Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
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Posted on March 31st, 2026 by Jane
