Talking Makes Things Better?
Well, yes it does. Talking makes things better! Well, do I hear you say, you’re a coach. You would say that. And I would say that it helps women. But it does! Read on.
I first came across this when running workshops with businesses undergoing major change. Often managers would perceive that a lot of ‘chat’ about it was unhelpful. Most of them were men and reacted very much in the flight/fight response. They interpreted a wish to talk as being unhelpful, and meant the change was being resisted. (Check out this blast from the past Why Men Won’t Invite You To the Conversation.) This in turn frustrated the women who felt ignored. Once each understood the other it made for much better communication. And happier staff.
Californian Female Scientists
Why Talking Makes Things Better
You will probably have heard of the flight/fight response, when our bodies respond to a stressful situation by releasing adrenalin. The adrenalin rush is to help us either fight our way out or run like the clappers. Well, some women scientists have looked again at this original research which was carried out only on men.
They discovered that when under stress women release the hormone oxytocin. Oxytocin is sometimes called the ‘love’ hormone. It’s the hormone that helps women bond with their newborn babies, for example.
When we women are under stress we are actually helped by being with our friends. We like to talk things through.
More Proof That Talking Makes Things Better
Every pictures tells a story? Yes, especially when it has a few words attached. Researchers looked at people looking at pictures. As expected, the volunteers reacted negatively to frightened or angry faces. However, the negative responses decreased when the pictures were accompanied by some descriptive words. They concluded that words stimulate a different part of the brain which slows or suppresses the more negative emotional response.
When did you last have a good talk with a friend or a colleague? Go on, find a friend, put your feelings into words, and share your troubles and joys.
N.B All my photos unless otherwise stated come from Unsplash, a professional service I pay for.
RenewYou, My Tried and Tested Career Booster!
RenewYou has helped thousands of women make positive and lasting change in their lives. I deliver it one-to-one as part of a bespoke coaching package for women looking to move into leadership, to progress their career, or who wish to be the absolute best version of themselves.
Posted on April 29th, 2025 by Jane
