I know I am about to step into murky waters filled with unseen hazards but….I’ve been asked several times what I think about the topic of transgender women, particularly in relation to my business, so here it is.
Can transgender women be feminists?
Apologies if I get the terminology wrong; I’m not an expert in this field, and this not an academic treatise. It’s from my heart. (I first wrote this in 2016 but my views have not changed significantly, although the debate has become so much more bitter.) Sincerely, I have no wish to offend or upset anyone.
I have been a feminist as long as I can remember. Being a feminist was almost inevitable if you’re a woman born in the fifties with two younger brothers, and often had your challenging why can’t I…? questions answered with ‘because you’re a girl‘. Interestingly, a lot of the debate around whether transgender women can be ‘real’ woman stems from women born in the same era as me. I completely get that. We had to fight so hard for every small incremental change in the fight for equality, which is still not won. The equality we have gained still feels very fragile.
All Types of Feminists
I think there are all kinds of feminists out there. I think all genders can espouse the feminist cause and therefore I call them feminists, too. Yes, I even ‘allow’ men to be feminists. I passionately want to see change in the status quo and I welcome anyone who shares that view, (hence my life membership of the Women’s Equality Party).
I have been puzzled by the debate on transgender women not being allowed to be ‘feminists’. For years I have truly tried to understand it, I honestly have. The argument seems to be that if you have not been born a woman and have spent part of your life as male, you cannot truly appreciate the oppression given to women, cannot understand the life experiences, and therefore, cannot truly be part of the sisterhood.
Is Feminism a Working Class Movement?
I come from a very working class background. My Dad was a scaffolder, my Mum a school dinner lady. We lived in a pretty run down area of Kent. I was the only person in the locality to pass the horrendous eleven plus and go to a selective school.
As I progressed through the education system to University I often felt ‘different’ from many of my contemporaries. My finely tuned chips on each shoulder meant I usually felt had I had more in common with a working class lad than a wealthy, private school educated female, of which there were many around me.
The Vagina Club
I’ve grown out of the chips (well, almost) and I hope I now try to judge people on who they are, the values they espouse, the way they live their lives, rather than where they came from, which is something they had no more control over than I did.
I’m still a work in progress and I’m still learning.
Does the fact that someone was born with a very obvious vagina mean that they are the on a par with everyone else born with a very obvious vagina, that we’re all in the same club, irrespective of the differences in life chances, culture, education, etc? Are we in some mystical born with a vagina bonding group sharing the same experiences? Vulva United, anyone?
If someone has spent a large part of their life feeling themselves to be trapped in the wrong body then I can only assume that they will have experienced more trauma, strife, and discrimination than I will ever know, and I’ve experienced a fair degree of sex discrimination in my 67 years. Equally, if that person feels themselves to be female, and endures all that they must to become acknowledged as female, who am I to say they are not? And if they believe in the cause of female equality and call themselves a feminist, who am I to say they are not?
Safe Spaces for Women
I think I understand the argument about safe spaces, although I am open to learning more. I have huge sympathy for women traumatised by the crimes against them. Of course I do, and to suggest otherwise is frankly hugely upsetting to someone who has spent her adult life supporting women.
However, I also have practical and professional knowledge which I cannot ignore. I do not see it as a simple one is wrong and one is right question.
In a previous life I used to be a probation officer. I ran women’s groups. In that capacity I visited many prisons. Part of my role was to write court reports on men convicted of crimes against women. I have yet to meet an offender who wouldn’t use any argument possible to get a better deal, like going to a woman’s prison, for example. As a probation officer it was my role to challenge them. I didn’t just take what they said as the gospel truth. If someone said to me they were transgender but could not provide me with convincing evidence, I would not recommend they were sent to a woman’s prison.
Convicted Criminal
Remember, at this stage of report writing they are already convicted of a crime that is likely to carry a custodial sentence. It is right to challenge what a convicted criminal says, particularly if violence is involved. I’d argue that if a professional has not sufficiently examined the assertions they have misunderstood their role, or been subject to some unhelpful instructions.
My job was to offer a suitable sentence to the court with the protection of society in mind, as well as thinking about rehabilitation of the offender. I think we are in the early ‘sticky stages’ of a change process where professionals are scared of being accused of violating human rights. It seems, on what I know to date, that professionals feel they are not allowed to challenge an assertion. They can and they must.
Likewise, why would a man intent on assaulting a woman go to the trouble of dressing as a woman to enter a woman’s toilet? I’ve encountered many violent and abusive men. They have no qualms about entering female only spaces to get what they want. They are offenders and do not follow the rules.
Social Change Is Sticky
Every change has produced this ‘sticky time’ when we make mistakes and misjudgements. We are all learning. It will eventually settle down as we become more familiar with the terms, get to understand the issues. As we grow in compassion.
Consider this. When I grew up homosexuality was seen as disgusting, abnormal. It was illegal. You could be sent to prison for the crime of being exactly who you were meant to be. Even when it was made legal some people didn’t want homosexuals in teaching, as doctors, nurses and so on. A minority still believe this but, by and large, our understanding has increased to a degree that most people can demolish those homophobic arguments in a trice.
It took legislation to make those changes stick, as it has every significant social change.
We’ve come a long way. We have a long way to go. If you disagree with me, I respect your views, and your experience of life. I think we can debate and disagree without resorting to insults and threats.
Would I Coach a Transgender Woman?
I write and have run courses for women for decades. Plus, I coach women at all levels. For me, I guess, the crunch question is, would I allow a transgender female to become a RenewYou trainer? Would I allow transgender women to attend my women only courses? Would I coach a transgender person?
The answer is, of course, yes. I would welcome the insights their unique experiences would bring. At no point do I ask participants to complete a questionnaire of their views on anything at all. I would be pleased to think that RenewYou might help other transgendered women weather the opprobrium of certain sections of society with renewed confidence and strength.
I’m all about helping the women, about challenging the status quo, about gender equality, however we got to be. I’m about equality, kindness and compassion.
RenewYou, My Tried and Tested Career Booster!
RenewYou has helped thousands of women make positive and lasting change in their lives. I deliver it one-to-one as part of a bespoke coaching package for women looking to move into leadership, to progress their career, or who wish to be the absolute best version of themselves.
Posted on December 3rd, 2022 by Jane
