How To Be A Bad Girl
I’m assuming, of course, that how to be a bad girl is something desirable. Who wants to be patted on the head and told they’re a good girl? (If you do, you’d better stop reading.)
OK, I might have done aged 4. Although in truth what I most liked then was being told I was like a boy. I’d already figured out that they were allowed to have way more fun. No one told them that boys don’t do that. (Unless they cried, they weren’t allowed to do that.) But I can’t think of anything else they got regularly pulled up for. ‘That’s not ladylike ‘was a constant refrain of my youth.
I SO wanted to be a boy. Even all our school books talked about ‘he’ and ‘mankind’. I remember shooting my hand up in infant class and asking why? I was told it also referred to girls. No, it doesn’t I said. Questioning the teachers like that was definitely not being a good girl.
I really tried to be a good girl but…
Challenge The Status Quo
I was forever asking why. Why can’t I do that? Because you’re a girl. Why do I have to help with the washing up and my brothers don’t? Because you’re a girl. It was endless.
I’m not sure when I became proud of being a girl (albeit not necessarily a good one.) I think I was in my mid teens, in the early seventies.
I had a Saturday job at the Army and Navy stores in Bromley. Contrary to how it sounds the shop was quite a high end department store. I was in the kitchen section. I loved it because I loved to cook and really enjoyed advising customers.
There was a young lad working there, too. Same age as me. Frankly he was hopeless and would disappear and let me chat with customers. I liked him though and we chatted a lot. Which was how I discovered that he was earning twice as much as me.
I was incensed at the unfairness.
Challenging HR
I immediately went stomping along to HR . My Dad was a Trades Unionist, I knew how this worked, (well for men anyway.) I demanded to see the person in charge and a bemused secretary let me in. I made my case to an equally bemused HR manager. Her reply, ‘But you’re a girl’. My reply, ‘So what? I’m heaps better than him’.
In what was to become a familiar scenario I was offered more money as long as I didn’t tell anyone. I refused and made the case again. She caved in. All the girls got the same money as the boys. The UK’s Equal Pay Act was first introduced in May of 1970, and came into force on December 29, 1975. My timing was good. It was in the zeitgeist.
Three Tips on How To Be Bad Girl
- Take up space and stand. When someone of whatever status, joins a meeting, for example, don’t stay seated and wait for introductions. Stand up and firmly shake their hand as equals. Put yourself on their level. Staying seated, especially if you have to look upwards as introductions are made, puts you at a disadvantage. It suggests that you don’t see yourself as being on an equal footing. Good girls wait to be introduced. Given how much we know about men not hearing women’s voices you’ll be waiting a long time. Be a bad girl and stand.
In meetings take up table space. Men will spread themselves about. Research shows that women tend to occupy far less space and consequently look less authoritative. Own your space. You’ve earned it. - Speak Up. Again, research shows women tend to turn take in meetings. Men don’t usually. They are used to being heard, and conditioned to duel a little ( See Duels and Duets.) Men literally do not hear women’s voices. Help them out. Speak up early in a meeting. The longer you leave it to speak the harder it gets. And don’t preface it with ‘I’m sorry…’. Be a bad girl and say what you think. Speak Up.
- Amplify Other Women’s Voices. It’s likely that the cultural norms will be that men are heard first. Research has actually shown that the old trope of men taking women’s ideas as their own is true. Don’t let that happen. When a woman suggests something, repeat it. Amplify women’s voices and your own will become louder. Be a bad girl and support other bad girls!
P.S. A word of warning. Typing ‘be a bad girl’ into Google is a tad risky. Just saying…
Top Photo by Jon Butterworth on Unsplash. Other photos come from Unsplash, a professional service I pay for.
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Posted on August 27th, 2025 by Jane
