I first ‘met’ Karen probably over a decade ago on Twitter when I bought one of the gorgeous bags she was creating at that time. It was then a creative side-line to her teaching but now she has forged a whole new career. But I’ll let her tell you about that.
Karen, what is it that you do now? How do you describe yourself?
Well, if I had answered this question some weeks ago I might have answered differently. I am a 58 year old black woman and mother of two grown women, as well as a grandmother to a happy baby boy. I am a fashion designer and a sewing tutor. I make bespoke clothing for women who appreciate slow fashion with an emphasis on handmade detail and personal service. I work mostly with Ankara and African prints and like to add a modern twist but I can work with all fabrics. I do love to use colour.
I also teach people of all ages to fall (back) in love with their sewing machine with private lessons in their homes. I am a strong advocate for the links between fashion and good mental well being – wear your happy – and I have held two ‘wear you happy’ live events to share this with other women.
I am also one third of Craftmoves, a social enterprise dedicated to combating loneliness amongst commuters in London using crafts and creativity. And I am a menopause thriver. Just before Lockdown was announced in the UK I brought my sewing machine and some fabric home to my kitchen table from my studio. I now make Wear Your Happy® Face Covers using my vibrant leftover African print fabrics, to remind people to keep their hands away from their face. It’s a business pivot that has given me a sense of purpose and direction as well as saving my finances. Being creative every day helps my mental wellbeing too.
Can I take you back a bit to your earlier years? Where did you grow up and was your creativity encouraged?
I was brought up in a market town in Oxfordshire, Banbury, where we moved shortly after my younger brother was born in the mid sixties. My mother taught me to sew when I was 15 years old. It was 1977, a year after my parents had divorced and my father had left our home. I have always maintained that she taught me because I had developed hayfever and couldn’t go out much. It was to give me something to do. With hindsight and the benefit of a greater understanding of our mother daughter relationship I suppose it also was a way for us to bond sharing a common interest. I am her eldest daughter (of four children). It must have been some comfort to be able to sit at the sewing machine together and heal through creativity. My mum has always been creatively thrifty. Growing up in Barbados women were expected to learn to keep a home after they wed. All were taught the basics.
When she came to the UK in the early 60’s she made a few childrens dresses to sell for a bit of extra money. But it wasn’t an avenue she pursued. Once I started sewing it was clear that I was good at it so she let me take over. I toyed with the idea of being a fashion designer but somewhere I had picked up that it’s very competitive. In contrast I LOVED to dance, act and I had been taking weekly piano lessons from an early age. So when I found out that I could do a performing arts degree and continue to dance for free (in the days when a university education was paid for by the state), I was hooked. School careers advice suggested that I become a bank teller (rolls eyes) and I know that had my strict conservative dad still been around he would never have allowed me to follow my passion. He actually wanted me to pursue a medical profession as a more respectable (and much higher paid) career. However my mum’s words were ‘Do what makes you happy’. Sold! I continued to sew over the decades, first making clothes for my family and then started making bags using African prints and selling them at local craft fairs.
Teaching and Caring
You have been very open on your excellent blog about your reasons for leaving teaching. Could you say a bit more about that, and also tell us how you found a path to recovery?
Many roads led me to the path I’m on now. I could never have predicted them. I split with my partner (the father of my daughters) in 2006. It was a difficult break up and I realise that I didn’t deal with the emotional side, preferring to hide my feelings and try to soldier on. I put all of my energies into my career in order to make sure that my girls had a solid foundation. I loved teaching and I was excellent at it. But the educational profession is a very stressful environment to work in; perfect to escape to and not super easy to escape from. I often brought the job home and it suited the headspace I was in at the time when my girls were young. Everything was about their future.
But somewhere along the way I lost myself. When they both went to Uni themselves I had no choice as empty nest syndrome reared its head. I was 52 and, unbeknownst to me, displaying menopausal symptoms. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and signed off work for a time. I was trying so hard to get better so that I could go back to teaching as I felt that I couldn’t be anything other than a teacher. I lost the will to sew or create. I stopped making and selling bags as my side hustle. So I left teaching thinking that would solve everything and I’d have the space to recover. All that did was give infinite space for the universe to go ‘Right we’ve got you now!’. I started to spiral and I finally went into therapy. Then a close relative, dear Aunt Monica became ill and I became an unwitting carer. I felt incredibly guilty about that and it took a while to admit that I actually resented her illness at the time. Just as I found my freedom from my 28-year teaching career I felt trapped again. And then she passed unexpectedly. There were other obstacles too. I won’t go into them now as we’d be here all day. My point is that, having spent decades looking after my partner, kids, being the strong eldest daughter, my default was that it almost felt comfortable lurching from crisis to crisis. When the dust cleared I was able to take my time. In fact, I no longer had a choice. I hit an all time low.
So I didn’t do a lot to be honest. My days went from being full on to become very quiet. I slowly hand stitched a quilt over an entire year and I discovered Netflix. I turned to mindful meditation and extended my self care routine with longer stretches and affirmations. During the silence my head cleared and I started to heal. I noticed that my relationship with fashion evolved. I had always loved clothes but whereas before I would dress as armour or to show off now I would choose clothing that lifted my mood, that brought me closer to people I loved and missed like my mum (who lives 80 miles away), and my late aunt. I started to share this on social media and ‘Wear Your Happy’ was born.
Maintaining a Healthy Life
What are the three most important things you do to maintain a healthy life (healthy in all aspects)?
I exercise. For me that involves walks outside amongst nature and dance/yoga based stretches. I like silence so 10 minutes daily meditation is good for me. And I journal most days. All this happens in the morning so I can get on with the rest of my day. I also always dress using my mantra of wear your happy. Currently during lockdown I make more of an effort to dress as if I’m leaving the house to go to my studio even though I’m only going into my kitchen. That’s more than three. I guess the most important for me is my one exercise a day.
As well as making garments for women you design them, too. How do you come up with different ideas for each person? It seems like the experience is very different to ‘normal’ fashion.
Women come to me with an idea but they don’t necessarily know which fabrics to use or how they will act with their design. They trust me to be honest with them. At our initial consultation we talk about lifestyle, favourite colours, styles and body positivity. Thanks to years of negative conditioning, most women have a hang up about their body, especially as it changes when we age. I like to coax out how clients would like to FEEL in their garment. It’s rare that a client turns up without a clue of how they want to look and they often, but not always, have an event to attend wearing it. The most fulfilling experiences have been when clients have enjoyed the process and trusted in my ability to help them feel and look wonderful in their finished design.
Jane: What is the best piece of advice you have been given?
When I split with my partner and was sorting out my finances, I had a credit card debt that happened to match the amount I had in a savings account. When my mum got wind of it she looked me dead in the eye and said, ‘If you have a debt AND savings… then you don’t have savings”. So simple. I’ve never forgotten it.
Egyptian Ruler of Friend of the Obamas?
If you could go back in time to any period of history, any place in the world, where would you go and why?
I would like to have been an Eygptian ruler like Hatshepsut, the longest reigning female pharaoh and a badass leader. But I would also have loved to have attended one of president Obamas inauguration balls. That would have been a blast! Imagine the euphoria! I do miss that family.
I’m sure you must get asked this a lot, but what advice would you give someone who wanted to follow in your footsteps and give up the safe secure job and follow their passion.
The clichéd answer is to stick to what you love and the money will follow. And that is true in the case of many. My experience is that money without passion doesn’t really work. My practical advice would be to be ok with being broke but to always have faith that the money will come. I would also say don’t be afraid to take a part time job that has nothing to do with your passion just to pay the bills. That’s not failure, that’s common sense. Once you decide that you want to put your whole self into following what you love, I believe The Universe has a way of moving things around so that it can happen. But you must commit with your whole chest. With that I mean half-hearted efforts wont really cut it in the long run.
Age is No Bar to Ambition and Dreams
And finally, what are your dreams for the future? Where next for your business?
Oh maaaan. I am in my late fifties and I honestly feel that I’m just getting started. More bespoke clients. Online sewing courses. More visibility as an older black woman with silver locks, whether that’s more modelling or speaking about Wear Your Happy. More live events bringing older women together to celebrate our gathered wisdom. A book or two. Wear Your Happy retreats. Who knows? That’s a lot of ‘mores’ isn’t it? I don’t mean that I want to be super busy. I just want to go at my own pace. I’m pretty open to wherever my life sees fit to lead me. As long as it fills my spirit and I have some fun doing so! I think that when women see other women, especially those not traditionally ‘seen’, living their best lives it empowers them to do the same.
Karen, thank you. I am very much looking forward to seeing just what you do next.
If you’d like to find out more about Karen, here is her website: www.reddskin.co.uk. On Twitter you can find her here. You can also see one of her very uplifting videos in a blog I posted a while back. It will make you smile, and we could all do with a bit of that.
RenewYou, My Tried and Tested Career Booster!
RenewYou has helped thousands of women make positive and lasting change in their lives. I deliver it one-to-one as part of a bespoke coaching package for women looking to move into leadership, to progress their career, or who wish to be the absolute best version of themselves.
Posted on April 29th, 2020 by Jane
