I know, here we are in 2023 and I’m writing about a film that came out in June 2022. I’m so on the zeitgeist… In my defence, I have long been interested in the femagiest trope that says older women can’t be sensuous or sexy. Can older women be sexy after sixty? Of course, they can. This film should have been on top of my list. What was I thinking of waiting so long?
Can Women Be Sexy After Sixty?
In brief, the film has two main characters and is set largely within a hotel room. Yes, it does sound a bit porny, doesn’t it? I imagine that might be deliberate so it can confound our expectations. Not that I know much about porn films. Although, full disclosure, I have been trying to do some research on sex and older woman for a project I’m working on, and can I say categorically you must never Google that phrase. Some things can never be unseen…
Anyway, back to the film. Emma plays someone who has been widowed for two years, and, as it transpires, has never had an orgasm. Look out for her mime of sex with her husband. It’s very funny and a little bit sad. And probably recognisable to many of us…
So, she decides to treat herself to sex with a much younger man.
Young Man, I Need You
The youth of her partner is very important. As much as this film is about an older woman’s sexual awakening, it’s also about coming to terms with the loss of youth. Emma’s character acknowledges that she could get an older man (they’ve been queuing up since her husband died), but she doesn’t want one. She is trying to recapture something elusive that she never had in her youth.
As a retired teacher she has done her homework, and has a check list of things she’d like to try. Which she reels off to a slightly bemused Leo Grande, played by Daryl McCormack. I have to be honest, for the first half hour of the film I wasn’t at all sure what I thought about it. I was definitely getting slightly uncomfortable feelings, I think because I was fearful it was going to go off at a tangent I wouldn’t like.
So I had a word with myself and decided it partly boiled down to never seeing older women being so naked in their desire for what they want. How refreshing watching an older woman who absolutely knows what she wants. Emma Thompson is pitch perfect in this role.
Women Do Not Need a Man to Rescue Them
The acting from both leads is beautifully understated. I believed in both those characters. My fear as the film went on, was that he was going to rescue her in some way. I was fervently hoping that she wouldn’t turn up transformed with loads of make up on, new clothes etc. As the film progressed I realised I was worrying needlessly. Despite her wobbles and nervousness, Nancy (Emma Thompson) is in charge.
Women Behind The Film
The film was written by the very talented Katie Brand and directed by Sophie Hyde. You can tell this is a female project, particularly poignant in the light of the #MeToo revelations. I couldn’t help thinking of all those exploitative encounters with young women. It’s a masterclass in the issue of consent (maybe I should call that a mistessclass?).
Despite the encounter being contractual, ie Nancy (Emma Thompson) is paying for the services of an escort, at every turn the permission of the other was sought. There was none of that stereotypical busting off of buttons in a moment of unbridled passion, or breaking down her resistance to his manly charms and grabbing her to him. Nancy is far too sensible to spoil her clothes, or allow anyone else to, although I am not downplaying his ‘manly charms’…
Whenever I see scenes where clothes are ripped off I always think, some guy wrote that. We have seen so many films through the male gaze; Good Luck to you, Leo Grande is delightfully and refreshingly free of the usual cliches.
Sexy After Sixty and The Big ‘O’
No, I’m not talking about Roy Orbison (here’s a link for younger readers – Roy Orbison on Wikipedia) but the climax of the film (sorry, couldn’t resist). After a few sessions with Rio, Nancy has found her mojo. Not only her mojo but her clitoris, too.
The final scene is incredibly moving, as Nancy strips off completely and we see a confident mature woman comfortable in her own skin. Hats off to Emma Thompson. (Well, everything off.) Spoiler alert – check out the video. This song just kept going through my head for days afterwards. Highly recommended viewing. It will challenge your views on sex and the older woman.
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Posted on January 20th, 2023 by Jane
