How to get equal pay? How do we women get paid equally in a world where women’s work is generally seen as being of less value?
One way is to ask for more money at the outset.
Women Get Paid Less Than Men
The statistics show us that women frequently get paid less than men. This is wrong, obviously. There are a myriad of reasons why women get less money than men.
One of them is the way our society has been structured and the value put on the work of women.
We have all (men and women) been conditioned over millennia not to place a high worth on what women do. Just look at the lack of value placed in caring and supportive roles by society as a whole, jobs mainly done by women.
It’s relentless and it’s endemic throughout societies and it’s not just male employers who don’t pay women on a par with men, it’s other women, too. It is cultural and challenging cultural norms is hard.
Do Women Ask For More Pay?
There is conflicting evidence on whether women actually ask for more pay; some research says we do but don’t get it. Other research suggests that we don’t ask in the first place.
I know that I have worked coached so many women who have been diffident about asking for a higher salary than offered.
Challenging yourself about how you place a value on what you do is hard, too. However, we live in a society where success is frequently measured by earnings and successful career women know it’s about more than the money. You will be judged on your salary each time you apply for the next job; it will be your platform to negotiate from.
Make sure you are valuing yourself first. Don’t under-estimate your worth.
Are You Embarrassed Talking About Money?
Courtesy of Unsplash by @sharonmccutchson
If you get embarrassed when talking about money that embarrassment can cross over to everyone, with all involved trying to close the discussion as soon as possible. Emotions are contagious. It is a very British thing to be coy when talking about money. That coyness has hidden a lot of sins over the years.
You must try hard to get over it and get paid what you are worth. No one will hand you a salary increase if you seem happy with what you have.
Imagine your feelings when you find out you are the lowest paid for what you do; that would be embarrassing. Practice in front of a mirror, say out loud, I am good at what I do and deserve to be paid accordingly. You will probably need to say this to yourself many times over. I know it feels daft but try it.
A Coaching Success
Imagine this scenario. You are at work and your payslip is left on your desk; you open it expecting to see your usual amount. The amount startles you; it’s over 20% more than you normally get.
Have you had pay rise? You pay a bit more attention to the payslip and then realise that it’s not yours. It’s been left on your desk by mistake. It belongs to your much younger colleague whom you have been helping since he started, sharing your knowledge with and supporting him.
This is exactly what happened to one of my coaching clients, but she’s not unique in this experience. Her first instinct was to storm the HR offices and demand to know why, but fortunately she rang me instead.
Of course, she was justifiably angry, and very hurt. She worked hard, knew she was good at her job, yet some young man was already getting more money than her.
We worked on this together over a short period of time. She was determined to have equal pay at the very least but actually she deserved more; she was the senior colleague. She girded her loins (metaphorically, no girdles were involved), and got a substantial increase in pay.
When she applied for her next role, a promotion, we also worked together, and this time she was careful to ask for a significant salary at the outset. The experience had helped her and she asked for 20% more than they offered originally.
She got it.
Don’t Take it Personally
Do try not to take it personally; rarely will it be a reflection on your actual work.
Remember, women receiving less pay than men has been happening for aeons to millions of us. After all, it was only in 1973, in my lifetime, that the UK Government allowed married women to stay on in the Foreign Office, for heaven’s sake. For ages it was a discretionary privilege to be allowed to work if you had married. ‘Pin money’ in relation to women’s jobs, was a phrase I heard often in my youth. That antiquated attitude is still out there.
Yes, of course, we do have the *Equal Pay Act but companies have been driving a coach and horses through it for ages. You may need to invoke it though. Keep a cool and calm head and plan your course of action. Yes, you may be justifiably angry but that is not the time to negotiate.
For the avoidance of doubt, I am not anti angry women, far from it. See more here Angry Women Are Not Nice.
Women, Research Pay in Your Profession
This is one of the things I advise my coaching clients – Do Your Research. Find out what the going rate is across the industry, add at least 10%, and then confidently ask for it. Even in an organisation where there are set pay bands, it’s possible to ask to be put further up the scale.
If you don’t get it immediately you have options. You could use the Equal Pay Act, or you could involve a professional body or Trades Union. You could even leave and go where you are properly valued (companies lose talented women like drains so much of the time), or you could bide your time, ask for a review within 6 months and try again. Spend that time gathering evidence.
Women, Negotiate Your Pay Upwards
If you don’t feel comfortable negotiating, go on a course or work with a coach beforehand; if they’re good, the results will far outweigh the costs and stand you in good stead all through your career.
Actually, there is a strong chance that you will get a pay increase if you ask.
Men tend to negotiate for much higher salaries than we women do. I’ve talked to so many executive women who have told me that they accepted the first offer given. If they have been working with me I’ve told them not to accept that first offer but to ask for considerably more. Most times (to their surprise and pleasure) they get it, but even if they don’t, at the very least they have put down a marker for future pay discussions.
It’s possible that you are in an organisation that has institutionalised, old school sexism and rewards the men with higher salaries as a matter of course, arguing that they are better qualified, more experienced, etc. You need to help them change because they will miss out on some exceptional female talent, and you owe it to all the women who come after you to be strong, firm and fair in your salary negotiations.
You’re doing it for the sisterhood (and yourself, obviously!)
*The Equal Pay Act 1970 was an Act of the Parliament of the United Kingdom that prohibited any less favourable treatment between men and women in terms of pay and conditions of employment.
RenewYou, My Tried and Tested Career Booster!
RenewYou has helped thousands of women make positive and lasting change in their lives. I deliver it one-to-one as part of a bespoke coaching package for women looking to move into leadership, to progress their career, or who wish to be the absolute best version of themselves.
Posted on January 27th, 2021 by Jane
