Thank you Madam for the Enquiry. Is Your Husband Available?

Site for The Changing People Garden Room

I’m building a garden room in which to host courses for Changing People and I pretty much know what I want – a lovely restful space where I can focus entirely on the women attending who can relax and think about nothing but themselves. Lots of plants, soft colours, natural materials, light and airy, and a place to keep all the books they may want to browse while they are with me, as well as the RenewYou journals. I have been having a lot of fun researching on line which is great. However, some visits to actual physical buildings were required so recently my husband and I set off to look at a few.

Our first port of call didn’t look too promising with only a couple of tired old log cabins on display, all empty apart from some old leaves and mud swirling about in them. Not at all like their website. However, I was not put off and sallied forth into the sales office.

I  explained to the youngish chap behind the desk that I ran a business and was looking for a suitable building to comfortably seat at least 8, etc and useable all year round. I listed my requirements making plenty of references to MY business, MY clients and that sometimes people came from all over, including often flying in from abroad. He walked us over to a cabin and then began explaining the virtues of this particular model… to my HUSBAND. I answered him and asked questions. He continually directed his answers to my husband with an occasional glance at me. Oh the irony… I kept hoping he might ask what my business actually was, even if he asked my husband, but of course, he didn’t.

I have been known to explode in these situations, you won’t be surprised to hear. At the very least offer a little lecture on gender equality. I didn’t want to, though. I wanted to enjoy the whole experience without having to re-educate the sales staff on how women make 70 to 80% of most household purchasing decisions, how he needed to pick up on his game, and how insulted I was by his behaviour.  My husband was also hugely uncomfortable with the way he was behaving, backed away as far as he could and dropped eye contact. Eventually the salesman simply had to look at me.

Too late. There was no way I was going to buy from this company, (luckily they didn’t have anything I wanted so no danger of cutting my nose off to spite my face).

I was taken back to the early 90s when we were installing a new kitchen, entirely my decision and choice as my husband was happy to leave it to me. Not that it matters, but at that time I was the principal money earner, too. The salesman refused to come out unless I could guarantee that the ‘head of the household’ would be there. I asked what exactly that meant. It meant the principle money earner. I replied that I was. He still refused to come because he said if my husband didn’t agree it would be a waste of his time. I relied that he had just wasted my time as I would not buy from them now.

It was bad enough nearly 30 years ago; it’s completely inexcusable now. I know from coaching that if situations still happen where if a senior woman goes to a meeting with a man, however junior he may be, the majority of people assume he must be the boss and she the junior partner. Give me strength! However, I am very pleased to tell you that the two subsequent forays to sales rooms elicited completely different responses and I think I have found what I want. I will keep you updated.

RenewYou Course

My next RenewYou course for women will be held here, at my home near Bath, on Monday 14th October. I only have 8 spaces and a couple are booked already so please get in touch if you’d like to come or have any questions at all.  I’m so looking forward to it. It will be very relaxed but no less inspirational for that. The garden room won’t be ready I’m afraid, so we’ll be in my cosy kitchen again:

My kitchen uncharacteristically tidy. The table extends to seat 8 very comfortably.

The first course in 2020 is the new wellness one planned for January 20th, a perfect start to the New Year (see here for details, scroll towards end of post) which, fingers crossed, will be in the new garden space. I will give everyone who attends this RenewYou a huge discount on that as it will be a celebration of the new space. I can’t wait. In fact, if you have ever been on a RenewYou or Speak Up with me, get in touch as I’d love to show you the new room and the new course.

Definitely time well spent with like-minded women being inspired by discussion and reflection. Jane’s passion and knowledge for helping us to be our best was a golden thread throughout the day, as well as the super homemade refreshments.”

Bridget Beer, participant, March 2019

Changing People licences experienced trainers, coaches and organisations to deliver its International RenewYou programme for women. Read more about it here


Posted on August 21st, 2019 by

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