The End of the Affair… ?


From the 2004 film, ‘The Stepford Wives’.

I have done it. I have ended my affair with Facebook. It wasn’t easy but I girded my loins, Googled how to delete your Facebook account and now me and FB are no more.  And I feel so much lighter of heart.

Of course, I was influenced by the recent revelations/allegations about leaks and security, but in truth, I had been getting fed up for some time. While I marvelled at the technology that knew somehow I’d not be able to resist clicking on yet another cuddly cat video, (full disclosure, as I write a cat is squirming on my lap trying to stop me typing and hence ignoring her. I’d video it but I’m off FB…) I chastised myself for doing it. I was most definitely getting sucked in and it was taking up more and more of my time, as it’s designed to do. Greater minds than mine have applied themselves to that end.

I started small by deleting the app off my phone. That felt good. No more irritating messages which somehow I’d find myself taking a wee peek at ‘just in case’. That was almost always a mistake and before I knew it 20 minutes would have passed. But the other thing that began to irk me about FB was that it became exceptionally good at sending me things it knew I would like, that I would agree with. Initially that’s attractive but, like eating peanut butter and mayonnaise toast, eat too much and you start to get fed up, literally, (and I really love peanut butter and mayonnaise toast).

I don’t know about you, but I often don’t fully know what I think until someone challenges my view. OK, I may know what I think I think, but I may not have thought it through, the why of it. Being fed a constant diet of agreeableness was not good for me.

Germaine Greer via The Times

Germaine Greer and #MeToo

That was brought home most forcibly by listening to Germaine Greer on the radio. Did you hear her? She was airing her views on the #MeToo movement and it’s safe to say that she’s not a fan. Here’s an extract, in this case from Metro Magazine, although it was widely covered by all the media:

Germaine Greer has been accused of victim blaming after calling the alleged victims of sexual assault by Harvey Weinstein ‘career rapees’. Speaking on BBC Radio 4’s Today programme this morning, the outspoken writer attempted to explain previous comments she has made on the #MeToo movement that it had ‘gone too far’.  But listeners criticised her as she appeared to call the women accusing Weinstein of serious sexual assault ‘career rapees’. She told BBC Radio 4 Today host Mishal Husain the 84 women who have launched cases against Weinstein have had ‘extraordinary exposure’. ‘Some of whom have been paid six figure sums in the form of non-disclosure agreements,’ she said.

Germaine Greer was accused of victim blaming ‘That’s a dishonorable thing to accept and it’s not something you should boast about.’ She then appeared to suggest allegations of assault were ‘wrecking lives’ of those accused by saying: ‘The amount of legal muscle that will be used to defend these people is massive and I’m concerned for damage limitation rather than maximisation. ‘Rather than wrecking people’s lives, so they become career rapees.’

You can read more on this and listen to the actual clip by clicking this link.

As it happens Germaine has a book to promote and, I suspect, is not above creating a bit of controversy to promote sales. She has never been afraid to say what she thinks. I admire that. In truth, I often disagree with her and I do on this point. That said, she does make some points worth hearing and listening to her views helped me clarify my own. It’s good to listen to alternative views and I have no truck with the ‘no platforming’ of Greer. She has been an influential voice in the cause of women’s equality. I am so with Mary Beard on this; there are many ways to silence women’s voices. We are not one entity. We are not Stepford Wives who all think the same way and choose the same path. We may be travelling to the same destination but the routes are many and various. The #MeToo movement received a lot of criticism because the women were high profile actors. (You can read more about the history of the #MeToo hashtag here.) That doesn’t lessen what they are saying in my opinion, and I am glad the spotlight has turned because of what they have been doing. That they may have ‘come late to the party’, that some of them may not have been paragons of feminists virtues (whatever that is) before this bothers me not. Things are happening, attitudes are being challenged, and it genuinely looks like we might be on the cusp of real meaningful change.

Back to Facebook, or not back, as it were. If we were ‘Friends’ on FB please still feel free to send me your funny cat videos and keep in touch. We can connect via email, Twitter, (My love affair with Twitter continues unabated, I have met so many fabulous people because of it) or LinkedIn.

Upcoming Events

April 17th, Arnos Vale, Bristol. My seminar on language, more specifically language used about women, language at work. Based on research with an opportunity to think how this relates to you and what we can do it about it, without having to ape male behaviours. Just £49.50, and two hours long. More information here.

June 12th, Arnos Vale, Bristol. My next open RenewYou course is happening! £350 per individual person, to include your RenewYou journal plus if you book before the end of April, I will give you some free follow up coaching. Knowing numbers in advance really helps us in planning so frankly I am trying to bribe you. There is another course pencilled in for September so if that suits you better let me know.

MBTI and Coaching. You may know that I trained to deliver the Myers-Briggs Type Inventory in the US (at the original college). You may also know it’s a personality profiling tool invented by two women (yay!) and is one of the best available, still in existence after 60+ years. I love it as a coaching ‘tool’. Read more about what we can do together here. As I use Skype, or FaceTime or even the phone, we can do that wherever you are, at any time. It’s a great investment in your career with a lasting impact.

Joining Us. If becoming a RenewYou trainer is of interest to you,  check out this page.

Free Book Offer

Plus, don’t forget we have a sort of competition running to get a free copy of Mary Beard’s book. More details are here. As ever, I’d love to hear from you.

Keep on being womanly wonderful!


Posted on March 27th, 2018 by

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