Why Do Women Hate Other Women?

Heather as paparazzi

I was asked this question recently by a journalist for a feature she was writing on two female celebrities who were, apparently, having an argument. Always happy to oblige, this was my reply:

Hi xxx,
Thanks for asking, always happy to comment although celebrity is not my area. Do feel free to quote any of below but suspect it may not be what you want. Be nice to know if you do use it. Thanks and good luck with it.

“To be honest I am not familiar with the spat and in my experience women do support each other. I was with 6 business women yesterday who were really working well together and hugely supportive, although technically they are all competitors. In fact, my business model is based on women supporting women.

However, we have a media which is institutionally sexist and rarely takes women seriously so I think we see so much more of this when it relates to women, particularly women the media deem attractive.(Good photo opportunity) Men fall out too but it’s not reported in the same way.”

That business model is described here, just in case you were interested. https://www.changingpeople.co.uk/for-trainers/

Very best wishes,

What would you have said?

Update: I wrote this a few weeks ago and to date have not had a reply/acknowledgement from the journalist. I assume that means she’s not using my quote. if you do happen to see the article do let me know

Photo Credit: You may be wondering about that photo. It’s of the lovely Heather, of New Old Friends Theatre company being a member of the paparazzi. Oh and when she’s not acting she’s my PA. And also my daughter in law. There, full disclosure.


Posted on June 30th, 2014 by

4 Responses to “Why Do Women Hate Other Women?”

  1. Pinky says:

    Thanks so much for an honest opinion. It’s not about male or female but personality and values. Love or hate doesn’t go with sexuality.

  2. Catherine says:

    What would I have said? Interesting…my gut reaction (which we know we should all try and not respond by, but I can here because I didn’t respond to it) would be that the ‘feature’ is meaningless, insignificant and trivial, but not unusual to be seen in many magazines and articles. I can’t say I would waste my time reading something like that and to be honest, surely journalists can choose much more interesting and mature topics to write about that can be just as engaging rather than trying to sell for targets.

  3. Michele Winter says:

    I agree with you Catherine, that is my gut. But….I love Jane’s response as it so successfully gives the message that she will not join the debate as the debate itself is belittling to women. Instead she gives a positive example of women respecting and supporting other woman so she challenges the discourse rather than colluding with it and role models at the same time. Clever. I wouldn’t be as quick or emotionally controlled so would probably get caught up in explaining, rationalising and such and then regret my comments later. No wonder the journalist didn’t publish though, it’s challenging and not what she wanted to hear, also probably not what she was being paid to write….who’s the controller over this sort of discourse…..thought to ponder…do we collude or challenge.

    • Jane says:

      Thank you both for your comments. I can only speak from my experience and I do not think it’s a real issue. And my best boss ever was a woman…

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