How’s Your Balance?

There are some fundamental pyschological conditions we need to be met for us to feel stable and content; if one of these is out of kilter we can feel very out of control.

Our fundamentals are:

  • Physical security
  • Emotional security
  • Economic wellbeing
  • A sense of belonging
  • Recognition from others
  • Control over our lives.

When we begin to feel our life is getting out of balance in one area we can overcompensate in another, comfort eating for example when we feel undervalued.

Identify Your Strengths

One way to counteract this is to identify our strengths and then invest time in developing them. Energy we spend worrying about we perceive is wrong can be very self defeating and distract us from finding a solution. The more we focus on what ails us, the more out of control we’re likely to feel.

So if you’ve been feeling life is beyond your control lately, try this over the week end:

If you have a problem try to rethink it in your head as a challenge, rather than a catastrophe outside of your control.

Slow down and focus on one thing at a time.

Try and spend some time reflecting and studying your issue, rather than rushing ahead in order to solve it. Talking to a sympathetic, but neutral, listener can be very helpful in gathering your thoughts.

Set yourself a small manageable goal towards resolution, do it, and then set another. This gives time for better solutions to arise and allows you to exert some control. Confronting in a positive way what is happening, rather then trying to ignore or suppress it will also develop your skills and strengths and enhance your self esteem!

What one goal might you set yourself this week end to enhance your overall sense of well being?


Posted on July 2nd, 2010 by

4 Responses to “How’s Your Balance?”

  1. Ed Han says:

    Well done! I particularly like the orientation on the importance of framing situations/challenges.

  2. RJ Johnson says:

    Have you checked out the VIA Character Strengths Survey to identify strengths? It provides an unbiased way to help one determine their strengths, much more so than picking items that you resonate with from a list. I also just wrote an article on using the VIA survey with an appreciative inquiry interview for personal development. It is at

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