Do You Give Too Much?

If you’re feeling a bit drained and tired lately maybe you’ve let life get a bit out of balance? Perhaps you’re giving out a lot but not taking enough back in?

Women especially tend to be the caregivers in our society, looking after everyone else and sometimes forgetting to look after themselves in the process. As a big family occasion draws near in the Western world it could be a good time to take stock.

Your Giving Audit

Try this simple exercise adapted from one of my women’s courses, to see how your in/out balance is looking at the moment.

Take two coloured pens and a sheet of A4 paper. Draw two large circles, one in each colour to fill your page, which have an overlap in the middle (memory tells me we might be doing a Venn diagram here!)

In one circle write the names of all those you give support to, people you help, people you have some responsibility for, at work and at home. In the other do it in reverse, that is all those who support you and give you help, advice and care.

In the overlapping part of your circles put the names of those who fit both categories, i.e those you support and who support you in return. As you move the names into the overlap of your circles, cross off their names in the main part of your circles.

Now take a look at what is left.

Only you know if the balance is right. It’s not a straightforward equation in that we give merely to receive in return; there are lots of times in life when we give freely without expecting any return. But, if you are not getting enough support yourself, your pot of giving can become dry and you will find yourself getting tired, stressed, and burnt out. You need to look after yourself too.

And one final question to honestly ask of yourself:

Do I make it easy for others to give me help and support?


Posted on November 20th, 2010 by

2 Responses to “Do You Give Too Much?”

  1. Sara goneos says:

    excellent blog Jane, I think it’s true that most women give a lot more than they get, I don’t see that changing anytime soon. For the most part I enjoy the giving but it is nice to get something back occasionally ☺

    • Jane says:

      Thanks Sara. You’re probably right about the situation not changing anytime soon. That said, (and I am including myself in this too) I do know that sometimes we need reminding to allow people in to help us. Thanks for dropping by! Jane

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