Be a Good Friend to Yourself

How many times day are you rude to yourself? Stop and think about how you talk to yourself for a moment or two. Do you use phrases like: ‘I‘m so stupid‘, ‘ I never get that right‘, ‘What an idiot I am‘, ‘I’m so fat, I have no will power’.

Talking to Yourself?

We all do it from time to time with varying degrees of rudeness! And much of the time it doesn’t matter. But sometimes the balance tips and we can actually create self fulfilling prophecies in our lives; we make ourselves feel worse and less able to combat the behaviour we want to change.

I have an exercise in my RenewYou course when we look at some of the self talk that goes on almost unnoticed in our heads, and the negative impact it has on our behaviour. I call it ‘Internal Mail’, some of which should go straight to the junk box! That exercise doesn’t translate well onto the page but below is one that does.

Try This Exercise

Pay attention for one day to the way you speak to yourself. If you can, jot the offending phrases down and what was happening when you ‘said’ it.

At the end of the day, review what you have written. Now imagine yourself with your best friend and that she/he is telling you of similar incidents to the ones you have experienced. Do you tell them they are stupid, or do you offer support, encouragement, advice and sympathy? I have no doubt it’s the latter. I am sure you are a much better friend to them than to yourself!

Try the exercise again, noting down your self talk. Only this time respond as if to a friend. Give yourself the same level of support, encouragement, advice and sympathy that you give to your friends. Be a best friend to yourself for a change!


What’s the worst or funniest thing you say to yourself?


Posted on January 20th, 2010 by

3 Responses to “Be a Good Friend to Yourself”

  1. liz says:

    Excellent article. We do beat ourselves up all the time don’t we!!!

  2. I used to worry a lot more about what other people thought of me when I was younger and I did “fret” on my weight, my age, my stupidity …
    Now I don’t care so much as I have grown to know myself I know I am a decent person, I have faults, we all do.. I know most of mine and they aren’t all that bad! I do however still laugh at my own jokes LOL

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