I imagine that quite a few of you are feeling a tad stressed and overwhelmed with all you have to do, both at work and at home. It’s the time of year when our work home balance can get quite out of kilter.

If that feels like you right now take a few minutes to consider this:

Christmas will happen whatever.

Christmas is not simply one day-it’s a season. If it doesn’t go right one day there’s another on the way.

Most things will still be there on December 28th.

Time is man made. There is no law that says everything must be completed on time (except  tax-do your tax returns on time!)

Are you succumbing to the well known ‘I must be superwoman at work as well as making my own mince pies and knitting a witty cat blanket and still look gorgeous’ syndrome? It’s rife at this time of the year and very infectious. If you haven’t been inoculated you could be in danger.

If you’re getting caught up in the pressures that are heaped onto women’s heads at this time of year (by ourselves as well as others) take a moment to pause and reflect. Try giving yourself this mini cure.

The Cure for Martyrdom

What really matters to you and those you care about during this season? If you come up with the answer a beautiful magazine-photo-fit home and hand knitted mince pies then you’d better give that some priority.

But most of us won’t come up with that answer. Most of us will want a relaxing, argument-free time with people we care about, if we can manage it. If the cards don’t get posted on time, they’ll arrive late; the world won’t stop spinning on it’s axis.

Remember to take a break now and again. Recent research shows that people who practice mindfulness are particularly resistant to the blandishments of the ad industry, and frankly that’s what’s we’re talking about here. Being constantly bombarded with images of the perfect woman organising her perfect Christmas for her perfect family, while wafting clouds of Chanel and simpering Nigella like over the bread sauce are so not real! They are figmentsof the admen’s world.

Instead, let’s ‘channel’ Marje Simpson enjoy ourselves! Cheers, purple haired lady!

P.S. I think it might just be me with the cat blanket thing..substitute your own pointless activity.

Photo Credit: Steven J Sullivan

It seems we Britons continue to work the longest hours in Europe. More than 4 million employees in full time roles work more than 48 hours a week (that’s 700,000 more than did during the 1990s), and one in six regularly works more than 60 hours a week.

According to the TUC, the UK working week is now up to 43.5 hours – three hours longer than the European average. It also found 5.26 million Britons work an average of 7.2 hours of unpaid overtime a week. I’m worn out just writing that!

Technology which has made our lives so much easier on so many levels has also meant it’s much harder to escape from work. It’s always there: in our electronic notebook, our whizzy phone or lap top, staring balefully at us from our briefcase like a silent reproach. How long do you wait before succumbing to those emails? And how many times have you been caught up in the  ‘I can send a work email later than you’ game?’ Be honest!

Stress at Work

You may absolutely thrive on stress at work; indeed maybe you can’t get motivated unless there’s an important deadline looming. This is fine if it works for you. For most of us, however, there comes a point when we need to take a break. (See ‘Do You Give Too Much‘) If you let the balance get out of kilter you’ll start to experience the classic symptoms of stress (see Top Five Symptoms of Stress). Play smart and try and stop it before it starts!

Work Life Balance Exercise

Try this for one week. Keep a time diary (otherwise known as a time and motion study on yourself!). As accurately as you can jot down everything you do every day over 7 days with a note of how much time you spend on it. Work could be broken down into tasks if you can manage that. Then you’ll probably have family or friends time, your hobbies, professional development (which includes things like reading a professional magazine). There will be things you do for others and things you do just for you. Just log it, don’t make a value judgement.

Once you have your week’s worth of data sit down in a comfortable chair and look through it. Honestly assess yourself; there is no right or wrong balance to achieve. You will know yourself if it’s getting out of kilter. At different stages of your life you’ll be applying your attention & time in different places. Listen to your intuition; if it feels right it probably is right. But if there is a nagging doubt, pay that doubt some attention and think about some alternative strategies. Get to the stress before it gets to you!

How do you know when your balance is tipping too far in one direction?

Picture Credit: Juanita De Paola

Stress Management

If you’re going to rise high in an organisation or your business, you’re going to get stressed from time to time. Fact. In fact, stress is a much maligned word and generally used to mean something undesirable. Yet a  bearable amount of stress, like when we venture to try something new, can be enormously beneficial. It can actually advance our careers. It’s getting the balance right  that is difficult. If you always tried to avoid stressful situations you’d never advance, never learn and change your ideas. You’d stay where it’s always comfortable. (This is a significant point for ambitious professional women as generally speaking we emerge from surveys as being risk averse and also as disliking conflict. I’ll cover this in a future post)

When the balance gets out of kilter it can have disastrous consequences, for ourselves, and others. Work overwhelm is a serious business.

Work Life Balance

I was listening to an interesting seminar from Julie Hirst the other day (courtesy of  a Women in Logistics seminar, many thanks to them). Julie had been part of a project which  had run for ten years looking into work life balance and how stress affected people. An interesting distinction emerged. Working long hours which spilled over into your personal life were not such  a huge cause of stress for people at the top of an organisation as for those lower down.

In Control of Your Work

The variable factor is actually feeling in control of what is going on. It’s about having a choice; people who felt this was imposed upon them exhibited other symptoms of stress too. When we feel out of control at work serious ill health is sure to follow and then we are NINETEEN times more likely to make a major error. And I mean major error. The survey invited folk to give examples annonymously of mistakes they had made at work. The results were scary, down to actually causing death.

Having an element of control as a factor in helping manage stress is not surprising. The same thing happens in organisations when they are undergoing significant organisational  change. The feeling of not knowing, of having no control is the one which produces the most stress and leads to higher than average sickness levels.

Top 5 Symptoms of Stress

1) Sleeplessness on a regular basis.

2) Fatigue, again feeling tired most of the time, even when you’ve done little.

3) Inability to focus and concentrate

4) Irritability with others and with self

5) Pains in the neck, head and shoulders.

So, if you tick any of these boxes it’s time to start taking your well being seriously.

Sometimes it’ s impossible to take control of the external events, even if you are at the top. And that’s when we have to look within ourselves. There is one place where we can always have control. We can control and manage how we react to the external events. I don’t mean to sound trite, because it’s not as easy as talking positive (although that is a part of it). But it is possible.  Take steps to recognise your stress and then take steps to address the cause when and however you can. But always, take care of what is within your contol- you and your feelings.

Epictetus: “We are not touched so much by life events themselves but by the view we choose to take of them.” Wise words from a Stoic philospher AD 55-AD 135.  There is always a choice.

How do you manage work place stress? Do please share your ideas. The best thing I ever did to manage my work stress was to run my own business! And there are 3 tips here. Or, try listening to my free visualisation and see if you find that calming. Loads of women have told me how much they love it.  Here’s the article that accompanied it : What’s your perfect working day?

Photo Credit: Irum Shahid

But somehow the week end you had planned doesn’t quite cut the mustard. Your longed for rest and relaxation doesn’t materialise and you find yourself tetchy and irritated for much of the time. People around you are getting on your nerves and maybe you find yourself snapping at those close to you – kids, your partner or friends

You’ve taken that workplace stress home with you and it’s infecting other areas of your life.

3 Tips for Managing Work Place Stress for Women

It’s so easy to do. We know the research – even high fliers at work still end up doing more of the household chores than men (if the stats are to be believed). This is frequently an issue for women who are working with me, either one to one or on my women’s courses; it seems getting the work-life balance right is harder sometimes than getting that promotion!

So here are a few of my tips that have worked with other women.

• Finish work properly.
  By which I mean clear your desk, pack away any files and leave everything ready for Monday. Don’t take work home to sit reproachfully in your briefcase unless you are absolutely sure you a) really have to, and b) will be able to do it. Otherwise you literally have your work at home scuppering your chances of proper relaxation. I know at a certain level working at home is inevitable, but see if you can’t schedule this into the week nights and keep your week ends sacrosanct . You will be more productive the rest of the week for having a proper break. And leaving that desk primed for Monday is sending you a subtle but strong psychogical message.
• Share the chores.
  With a little more  probing it often emerges that women do have partners who are happy to share the chores but there is a undertone of  ‘they won’t do it properly so I’ll only have to do it again. It’s quicker to do it myself‘. If this sounds like you try to adopt the ‘good enough’ principle with some household tasks. Good enough means being good enough, not perfect. Don’t add to your stress by placing excessively high demands on yourself and others. Sometimes we can get a bit of victim mentality as we dash around trying to do it all…
• Take a guilt break.
  Being superwoman all week end (as well as all week!) means you’re on a hiding to nothing and probably quite difficult to be around. Make sure you do something over the week end that is just for you, that helps you recharge your battery. It may be tea in bed with the newspapers for half an hour; it may be a long phone conversation with a friend. Often it’s not a big thing but I find even when women do make time for themselves they tend to feel a bit guilty about it. Men do a lot of rushing around at week ends too. The difference I find is that men don’t tend to have the same feelings of guilt if they can’t do it all, or when they have a game of golf, watch the football, go to an exhibition. Whereas we women can get really good at beating ourselves up.
  Work out what it is you need to do to keep yourself on top form and then make time to do it! (If that’s on your too difficult pile take a look at What Stops You being Assertive?)

Life is a balance, sometimes a very delicate balance, of managing our needs and the needs of others. Remember, though, however many responsibilities you have at work and home, everyone needs a break, space to recharge. Make sure you build some time in for that, your essential maintenance down time! Happy Week end!

Photo Credit: Craig Hauger

Apparently, the term “presenteeism” was coined by Professor Cary Cooper, a psychologist specializing in organisational management at Manchester University in the UK. It generally means people turning up for work when sick and is especially prevalent now as more people are fearful of losing their jobs in the current poor economic climate.

The Midnight Mail (Male?)

There have always been incidents of being present at work (and not necessarily working), and we all know the folk who send out work emails out at 2am to illustrate how dedicated they are to the cause. I even know of someone who set them on auto to go out then so it looked as if he was madly working away all the hours available!

The trouble is it becomes the corporate norm and suddenly people, men or women, who are not doing it are viewed as lacking in commitment, even when the organisation officially disowns the practice. I don’t have a gender breakdown, but generally speaking this is not a game women can play, as they are usually the ones with caring responsibilities; neither is it a game that women want to play.

Part Time Gain

What I do know is, that when I recruited part time staff (always women as it happens) they worked as hard and as productively as my full time staff and actually achieved more, hour by hour than their whole time equivalents. I have also watched members of staff who didn’t have to rush home at close of play, dawdle through parts of their day, secure in the knowledge that they could stay after normal hours and gain kudos for being ‘committed players’.

No Winners

The sad fact is no one really wins when this culture is prevalent. Sick people do not work well and get sicker; people feel compelled to stay late and work too long and get stressed as their life gets out of kilter; and women are at a disadvantage because even if it were desirable, they tend not to be part of the late clique and get labelled as not committed. And what we should be doing is questioning the whole idea of presenteeism and its role in corporate life

A very senior female executive confided in me recently:

“I have given up the idea of trying to get a balance in my life. So many of the meetings don’t even begin until after 5pm. I’m paid a lot to do this job and I m now resigned to never getting home before 8pm most week day evenings unless I plan it in advance“.

The role models need to be at the top, modelling a good work and home balance. And if the ‘top’ were more gender balanced, we might just see some more sensible hours. No one can give of their best 12 hours a day on a regular basis; eventually folk will burn out and women (and so e men) who want to have a life outside of work, or who have to be home, will be disadvantaged and companies will lose excellent staff.

Photo Credit: Chris Johnson

• Do you feel you don’t have enough time for yourself, doing what you want to do?
• Do you often find yourself getting to the end of the week and wondering where all the time went?
• Do you frequently work through your lunch break, or grab a sandwich while skimming emails?
• Do you rarely leave the office on time at the end of the day?
• Do you take work home with you on a regular basis?
• Is your mind always buzzing? Do you find it difficult to switch off?
• Do you panic if you leave your phone at home/work and are without it for even short periods of time?
• Do you think you could be doing something different if only you had more time to think about it?
• Do you think life is passing by too quickly?
• Do you sometimes feel really lacking in confidence? Does it hold you back from doing new things?
• Do you have a feeling that there is something better out there but don’t know what the ‘something’ is?

If you answered yes to more than 5 of those questions it’s probably time time for you to stop and take stock. At worst you are heading for burn out and at best you may be pedalling furiously but not going in the best direction for you.

I didn’t actually make up those questions; they are all a variation of the reasons given to me by women for coming on my RenewYou day. I’ve been there too. For a period of my life I was so busy being busy that I didn’t have time to listen to the intermittent nagging voice in my head saying ‘Is this it?’

Sometimes we’re just so taken up with the grind of the day job, giving our all at work and home that we don’t take time to stand still and really think about what it is we’re doing. We are buffetted by events and react, rather than taking control. Once I took some serious time out to consider what it was I really wanted it helped me set about taking back control; in fact, over the course of a year I totally changed my life.

Scared?

I know sometimes it can feel totally overwhelming, and to be honest, quite scary. I was scared. But I was excited and enthused too! And, as soon as I had begun following my plan, directing my life, my energy levels went up, my health improved, and I had more time to do the things that were important to me. I just needed to give myself some time and space to work out what I really wanted.

It’s why, when I designed RenewYou, I made sure that there was plenty of thinking and reflecting time built into the day, and why I always choose a venue with some nice outdoor space. It’s great to spend some time walking and thinking. Deep inside we usually know our answers, and the thought provoking exercises, support and encouragement of a day spent renewing yourself helps you find them.

So, if you ticked more than 5, I urge you to take a bit of time to yourself and think about how you are spending your precious life. I still do it every year – make time for my own personal development and run a mini audit on myself. Whether you choose a course, a book, a coach, or simply find time to reflect yourself, make sure you do it! And do it soon!

Photo Credit: Watford

Jane: Natasha, you run a very successful press agency, Talk To The Press, (we’ll talk about your awards later!) What prompted you to begin your own business?
I’d always imagined I would run my own business (my parents had done) and it was largely boredom and feeling restricted that lead me to take the plunge and leave my former job, which was as a feature writer at the Daily Mail, in 2005.

Another factor was that I knew I wanted to have children (one day) and so wanted to set myself up and establish myself as a self-employed person prior to that happening. I didn’t want to have to deal with things like having to work long hours because my boss said so once I’d had a baby, and I didn’t want to try and start a business at the same time as becoming a mum.

At the time, I had a notion I’d like to run my own press agency, but I didn’t have any grand plan at that point of what it would be like and how it would work. I worked first as a freelance writer and was regularly commissioned by national newspapers and women’s magazines for two years and then started thinking more about formalising things into a proper press agency.

At the Daily Mail, I’d regularly dealt with individuals who had, for any number of reasons, found themselves making headlines and then faced the awful situation of reporters on their doorstep, being asked to sell their story, and these were the people that I wanted to help and also that I felt confident I knew how to help.

In January 2008, I launched the Talk to the Press website. Within weeks of the website going live, I discovered I was pregnant. I already had one employee so I took on another (mainly so the girl I already employed wouldn’t be lonely during my maternity leave – not sure if that is the best reason to recruit!) and then spend 9 months frantically building up the business so it was generating enough money to pay my two employees and generate a small profit whilst I had my baby. Looking back, it must have been stressful but it didn’t feel that way at the time.

What were the biggest hurdles you faced in launching your own business? What did you find the most daunting aspect of going it alone?
I probably speak for many self employed mums when I say the biggest hurdle was juggling the business and being a very new mum. In many ways, it’s wonderful in that being my own boss, I’ve been able to spend far more time with my little boy than I would have done had I remained working on a national newspaper, especially now.

But in the early days, my time with him was probably compromised by the business’ needs. I definitely felt under more pressure that mums who have jobs and are able to go on maternity leave and not think about work. I was back at work one day a week when my little boy was six weeks old and took him into the office every Monday for a meeting with my employees.

Although I was completely committed to my business, with all the emotion and confusion that being a new mum brings, I didn’t have enough self-belief to not worry about what other people thought and to not feel judged (in a bad way) by other new mums I met at the time, who invariably weren’t even thinking about work at all.

And what was the most exciting?
The most exciting was just realising that the Talk to the Press website did work (in that people visited it and felt able to get in touch with their stories), and that increasingly people were choosing us to handle media for their stories or to sell their story.

What has been the most exciting/rewarding story you’ve covered?
We’ve worked on so many great stories, it’s difficult to say, but the ones that stand out are the times we really helped those who were making headlines. Most recently, we represented ‘supergran’ Ann Timson who became an overnight heroine after beating off a gang of jewel robbers with her handbag. It was wonderful to meet Ann and to step in and help her handle the media attention which had unnerved her somewhat. But she soon got into the swing of it and we even arranged for her to fly to New York (business class!) to appear on the Today show.

We also represented the women conned by Simon Reid, who in a story that made headlines, got together to confront him and filmed his entire reaction. We  secured them a multi media deal too which included newspapers, magazines, television, and they also went to New York to appear in the Today show – and enjoyed a two day break there while they were at it!

What did you want to be when you ‘grew up’? Were there any early indications of that entrepreneurial spirit?
Hmm, at this point I should be saying that I ran the school tuck shop and made 10p profit on every Mars Bar I sold, but that wasn’t the case! I did once hold a sale of my art, but I only sold my paintings to my parents, so I’m not sure that counts as true “entrepreneurial spirit.”

Growing up I actually wanted to be in the police force! I did psychology at university and continued being keen on the police, until the moment came when I finished university and realised in fact I was too scared of things like the dark and criminals to go into the police force. I’d actually always loved writing, and it was then I decided I’d like to be a journalist.

I think in actual fact my ‘entrepreneurial spirit’ only emerged once I was self-employed. It was only once I wasn’t in a paid job that I started to see how I could build a business, employ others and repeat the process to generate more work and money. And I found with no boss to hand you a payrise, better job title or increased responsibility, I began to think about ways I could create all that for myself.

As a journalist did you encounter any discrimination or issues because you were female and feisty?
No, I’ve never had any issues because of being a woman! Professionally, I think men enjoy bantering with women who are successful and feisty.

Do you have a mentor or someone who has inspired you?
I’m inspired by all mums who run their own businesses, and all self-made individuals.

I constantly read business books, I’ve read all books by BBC 2s ‘Dragons’, those by Sahar Hashemi and any other entrepreneurs I can get my hands on. My particular favourite is ‘How to Get Rich’ by Felix Dennis (the title is ironic, the book is brilliant). He almost sees business as a game and I love his no nonsense attitude.

I’ve also followed a book called ‘The Winner’s Bible’ which recommends visualisation as a way to see the bigger picture and what you could achieve if you set your mind to it.

But one thing I actually lack is a mentor in my life. I would love to know more women who are as driven as I am, and who have children too, and have them in my social set. I would love to be friends with someone like Anya Hindmarch, who has four children and also runs a multi million pound business. Not because she’s a ‘celebrity’, but because I would love to know women who have achieved far far more than I could even imagine, and who would make me feel I could be doing so much more than I currently am, and who could offer advice on the things I might consider doing next. I find that some of my own friends in fact make me feel as though I should either be doing less, or that what I’m doing already is more than enough.

Research shows that women consistently undersell themselves when applying for jobs (and men oversell) and that women business start ups rarely ask for enough money to get them going. Have you ever suffered from ‘hiding your light’, or felt diffident about your abilities, and what advice do you have for readers wanting to start their own business?
My business hasn’t had any funding but generally speaking, I think I definitely suffer from this. If people ask me what I do, I have been known to mutter vaguely about being a journalist and leaving it at that. I know that actually I should be saying I run a fairly successful press agency, I’ve been on TV, I’ve won awards but instead I find myself changing the subject! But it’s a British thing to underplay achievements isn’t it – no one wants to be seen as too big for their boots! What is interesting is that as my business grows, I am getting far better about talking about it and its achievements.

What is the best piece of advice you have ever been given or read?
To set goals and to constantly remind yourself what your goals are. It’s easy to get bogged down in nitty gritty, but goal setting keeps you focused on the bigger picture. By the same vein, there is a great quote, I don’t know who by, but it is ‘To avoid seasickness, look to the horizon’.

Entering awards is a brilliant way to get publicity for your business and recognition for what you do. You have won FOUR business awards. Can you tell us how that came about and what difference winning those awards has made to you and your business?
Yes, I’ve won four business awards. I won the ‘Women in Business’ award at the Startups Awards, which recognise achievements of new business in the UK. TTTP was then named ‘Outstanding New Publicity Solution’ by the Global Business Excellence awards. TTTP has also been recognised as one of the UK’s smartest small businesses, having been chosen by a judging panel including Deborah Meaden as a winner of Smarta.com’s ‘Smarta 100’ award. And I was featured on Management Today magazine’s ’35 under 35’ annual list of female high flyers. I’ve also reached the finals of two more awards.

Well, the simplest way to win awards is to enter them – so part of it is finding the time and making the effort to write out proper entries. I think a lot of people think about entering awards, and then never actually do, just as many people say ‘One day I’d like to run my own business’ but you know full well they will never do it.

Winning awards has been a great thing for Talk to the Press. I think people are naturally suspicious of journalists and to have had the business independently assessed and deemed worthy by a number of high profile entrepreneurs, including Deborah Meaden, is like a stamp of approval. For me personally, it’s been a wonderful thing in terms of confidence as well.

How do you manage to get a good work/home balance?
I think being my own boss helps. Although I do work incredibly hard, it’s all done within a time structure that I set myself and that ultimately I control. For instance, I leave at 5pm every day to pick up my little boy from nursery and then it’s me and him time until he goes to bed (although I won’t lie and say I don’t check and reply to emails on my iphone as I do!). Although of course it stresses me out when he’s sick and I find myself running my business from the sofa, I know I’m not going to get sacked.

For any mum though, getting the perfect balance is difficult and I’m not sure anyone would think they’ve done that, whether they work or not. It’s a bit like finding the Holy Grail and I’m not sure the perfect balance exists.

You founded the Notting Hill Shopping Bag scheme; what made you do that?
The Notting Hill Shopping Bag is a cotton reusable bag for tourists and locals alike sold from a number of different stalls and shops across the area, the artwork on it is designed by local school children, and 10 per cent of the profits are given to local good causes. I just set it up to see what would happen – and have sold around 11,000 bags to date.

It came about simply because I live and work in Notting Hill and love the area. The Talk to the Press offices are based on Portobello Road, and over the past few years, I have come to know many stallholders and have always enjoyed watching the ebb and flow of their businesses throughout the day and the seasons. Somewhere along the way, I noticed that there is a shortage of really nice locally-themed souvenirs for Notting Hill that aren’t naff, and I suspected that given the popularity of the area, there would be demand for something authentic.

It’s been a very different sort of business for me, and a great learning curve. It’s the first time I’ve had to worry about issues like stock levels and commodity prices (the price of cotton has risen 50 per cent since I launched), plus it’s the first time I’ve been selling a product in return for hard cash and also importing goods from overseas. It’s incredible when a delivery arrives on a huge articulated lorry, I feel quite emotional that the bags have completed their long sea journey safely and that the only reason this huge oversized vehicle has turned up in Portobello Road is because of me!

The business makes far less money than TTTP, but in a sense, it is just as rewarding. When I collect in £200 in cash from a bag stockist who has sold out of bags, it feels like just as much as an achievement as selling a story for £5000.

In a business like Talk to the Press, you never see cash, it’s electronic figures going up and down on a bank account. It’s a great thing to see sales being made in cash, to get that cash, to take that cash to the bank and then use it to buy more products and then to wait for the products to physically arrive on a lorry and have to be sold to get that cash back again. It’s back to the basics of business.

Which woman currently in the public eye do you most admire?
I admire any truly determined and driven self-made women, such as Hilary Devey, Deborah Meaden, Anya Hindmarch, Alice Temperley, Debbie Moore, Mary Portas, Claire Powell, Victoria Beckham, Kelly Hoppen, the list is endless. I devour any quotes I can from people like that in the hope of learning something new.

What’s your favourite way to relax and unwind?
A glass of wine with friends.

Do you have a favourite tip or saying or motto you’d be happy to share?
Lots of them!
‘Whether you think you can or you can’t, either way you are right’ – Henry Ford
‘All you require is you, and your ability to think things into being’ – Dr Martin Luthur King (this was particularly the case with the Notting Hill Shopping Bag which came from a thought in my mind.
And there is a fantastic poem, I don’t know who by, called ‘It’s all in the state of mind.’ To give a flavour, the first paragraph is
‘If you think you are beaten, you are
If you think you dare not, you don’t
If you’d like to win but you think you can’t, it’s almost a cinch that you won’t
If you think you’ll lose you’ve lost
For out in the world you’ll find
Success begins with a fellows will
It’s all in the state of mind.’

Natasha, thank you so much for sharing your story. There is so much here to inspire readers. Thank you very much and continued success to you and the business!

For more information visit talktothepress or email Natasha on message@talktothepress

One of the issues I wanted to pay attention to was that part of what I do which is not about actually earning an income.Obviously I couldn’t stop doing that, nor did I want to – I genuinely love what I do, but I really wanted to take some time to pay attention to the other bit of my working life.

Women and Prisons

In a previous role I’ve worked with offenders and in prisons. At that time, being employed in a bureaucratic government organisation I was restricted in what I could do, although we did pioneer some very successful group working! Recently I found myself wondering if the techniques and methods I use now (and know work with women to help them make really meaningful life changes), would have helped those women to take more control of their lives. I was idly wondering how I might make this a reality this when out of the blue my old manager from the probation service got in touch with me again. He is still doing some work in a women’s prison. I blathered on about my ideas, he was encouraging and enthusiastic… and together we have put together a plan! Early signs are hopeful, and we have submitted an outline for consideration. The wheels grind slow…but I am optimistic!

Women and Charity

My second aspiration was to make a contribution somehow to women’s issues the world over.  (I know, a bit grandiose of me but…you’ve got to have a go.) I’ve been researching for a while, looking for an appropriate charity to promote through these web pages and have been speaking with Womankind (if you click on the link you’ll hear Sandi Toksvig telling you all about it). There will be more about them in a post on International Women’s Day, March 8th. As my charity of choice I will be giving 10% of all proceeds from this site (advertising, book sales etc) to the charity. (And if you ever feel like giving a bob or two I hope you’ll think of them and click the link in the blog roll!)

The Day Job

However, I am still doing the day job! I’m still coaching and delivering courses like my  Women Ahead to encourage women to break the  glass ceiling and work towards equity in the workplace! But taking that  a wee break has been wonderful, and it’s possibly been one of my most creative periods to date. While I was turning my focus outwards the creative juices have flowed like billyho and I have all sorts of plans forming. I have made room to do more of what I want to do and have revitalised myself. It’s been wonderful!

So, when you can, step away from your own day to day stuff from time to time, do a little checks and balances exercise on yourself. Plan it in your diary, or take advantage of unexpected down time. How ever your life is at the moment (and life is always troughs and peaks, isn’t it?) it will help you if you can pause for a while, take some (mental) time out, and see where it leads you. Sometimes you need to make space for good things to happen. You may get a surprise…

Women especially tend to be the caregivers in our society, looking after everyone else and sometimes forgetting to look after themselves in the process. As a big family occasion draws near in the Western world it could be a good time to take stock.

Your Giving Audit

Try this simple exercise adapted from one of my women’s courses, to see how your in/out balance is looking at the moment.

Take two coloured pens and a sheet of A4 paper. Draw two large circles, one in each colour to fill your page, which have an overlap in the middle (memory tells me we might be doing a Venn diagram here!)

In one circle write the names of all those you give support to, people you help, people you have some responsibility for, at work and at home. In the other do it in reverse, that is all those who support you and give you help, advice and care.

In the overlapping part of your circles put the names of those who fit both categories, i.e those you support and who support you in return. As you move the names into the overlap of your circles, cross off their names in the main part of your circles.

Now take a look at what is left.

Only you know if the balance is right. It’s not a straightforward equation in that we give merely to receive in return; there are lots of times in life when we give freely without expecting any return. But, if you are not getting enough support yourself, your pot of giving can become dry and you will find yourself getting tired, stressed, and burnt out. You need to look after yourself too.

And one final question to honestly ask of yourself:

Do I make it easy for others to give me help and support?

For example, they don’t talk about work-life balance as work is part of life. Instead they refer to work/home balance, a much better description sending a subtle message.

Pepsico believes that workers contribute more at work when they are able to bring their whole selves to work. In the last few years they have introduced some very home friendly working practices which has had a huge impact on all staff, but particularly on women in their organisation.

Coaching Question

And one question they asked all employees at their annual appraisal is one I am sharing with you now as it’s such s good one. (Slightly paraphrased)

If you could set one goal in relation to your work/home balance what would it be, and what do you need from your employers to achieve it? Be clear and specific, and then be assertive and ask for it!

How do you manage your work/home balance?