I’d Like to Attend a Course for Professional Women But…?

Each time I post details of a new course for professional women, either leadership for women or personal development type courses, I get several phone calls from women who are thinking of attending but have a few questions. I am assuming that there are other women out there who have some of the same questions but for various reasons don’t get around to asking them. So, here are the answers to some of the most frequently asked questions about my courses for professional women.

Frequently Asked Questions About Changing People Women’s Courses

• Will I have to do role play?

This must be the most frequently asked question ever! The answer is a resounding no, never ever. Role play is rarely helpful, I find, unless you want to improve your dramatic skills. I am not in the business of making women feel uncomfortable so we can get to the ‘issues’. Poppycock. However, there is plenty of evidence that sharing issues, concerns, ideas etc can have a very positive effect on lessening our stress levels and strengthening our commitment to make positive life changes. So I have built those opportunities into my women’s courses. But it’s private, discrete and you are always in control of what you choose to share with others. There are no soul baring sessions!

• I am a professional woman but I may want to share issues  I’d rather keep private from work
  

Of course, that’s part of furthering your development. I have a very strict confidentiality clause and to my knowledge no one has ever transgressed it. Unless you openly talk about it, for example on twitter or on Facebook or give me permission, I will not even acknowledge that we know each other in public (although I won’t ignore you if we bump into each other in the supermarket!) All potentially personal work take  place in small groups with no large group sharing.

• Do we hug trees, or any equivalent of thereof?

I’m sorry to break this to you, but no. I seldom hug trees (I did faint against a large oak after a charity walk once but I don’t think that counts!). Although if you wanted to hug a tree mid course I wouldn’t stop you; I always try to choose venues with a lovely outside space or restful interiors (like the Royal Crescent Hotel, Bath pictured)! I am a very practical down to earth person. I use what works, what I can evidence through sound research and what I know has worked over the decades I’ve worked with women. I’m happy if you want to consult crystals, chakras, read books about secrets etc and I respect your views. But it isn’t what you get from me.

• What type of woman comes on your courses?
  

All types of women come on my courses! The range is enormous from age, location and profession. Most are working, usually at middle or higher management, or running their own businesses, with a strong desire to improve their working lives. Sometimes, women come after a particularly life changing event (redundancy, separation, illness) to take stock and think about ‘what next’. It’s not always about work. In fact, women much more than men like to look holistically at their lives which is one reason I run women only courses; the issues are different.

Some women keen to progress and others are having an ‘is this what I really want?‘ moment and use a course like Renewyou to work through this issue. Without exception the women on my courses are supportive and helpful and gain as much from talking with each other as from me. That is one of the powerful advantages of working in a well run group. You can read a little more about that here.

Speak Up is aimed at professional women working out how best to work alongside men, and communicate effectively.

• How big are your courses?

I do not run large over filled courses. When working in house within an organisation there may be an absolute maximum of 30, but never any larger. It depends on the course. For my own public courses, when I book the venue and handle the bookings personally, I rarely go above 12 women  and sometimes as low as 6. That way everyone can be assured of some personal attention from me and an atmosphere that’s conducive to getting the most out of the day.

If you have any questions at all about anything on the site, or in the newsletter (sign up in box to right of page) please email me on jane at changingpeople.co.uk or call 01761438749. I love to hear from you!

You might also like to take a look at Personal Development or Training?

Should You Audit Your Mates?

I think you should! I don’t mean check out their finances and ask for receipts, but I do mean take some time to reflect on your friendships and relationships with people you see or work with regularly.

Why?

Friends and acquaintances come from all walks of life. Sometimes we can’t quite even remember how  we became friends.  (Sometimes we can’t remember why we still are, but I’m not talking about that today!). Others we are close to because of shared interests, work, children, family connections, locality etc. All friendships need some maintenance work from time to time. Today I am suggesting that you take a few moments to think about professional friends and colleagues and conduct your private mini audit.

The Balance Act

A good relationship is finely balanced. Of course, there are times in our lives when the giving is all one way; for example, if you’re having a particularly difficult time at work like facing redundancy, or being reorganised to within an inch of your life, or having a difficult time with your business.  The giving may then be coming to you and you may not be in a position to reciprocate – yet. Likewise, you may be supporting a friend during a difficult time. It’s a question of give and take, at least it should be. I’ve written before how important women’s friendships are, they nurture and sustain us when the times are bad and fill us with joy when times are good. There is even an infectiousness to them which means the joy can spread between friends. Friendships are worth taking time over.

A Monday Exercise

So here’s my tip for a wee exercise (just for you-I’m not suggesting you share this) to start the week with. Grab a sheet of A4 and turn it landscape.

List three friends/good colleagues you are likely to come into contact with this week. Put their names equally spaced down the left hand side and then draw two columns. In column one, ponder for a while on what you can GIVE to those friends and colleagues this week. Use you knowledge of what is happening in their world to help you figure out what is most appropriate, and also take into account what you are able to give this week.

Your second column is what you might NEED from those friendships this week. Think through your week and what is happening for you. As you’ve just been thinking about your friends and their situation you’ll have a more realistic expectation of whether you are going to get what you need.  And if realistically you realise you’re not going to get it you may need to plan in other forms of support and advice. Or you may see that the balance is skewed and that it’s time to redress that and give a little more.

You don’t need to do this exercise very often. I have found it helpful with clients though when they are feeling life is out of balance. It helps to introduce a sense of perspective, and also helps us realise that we’re not always clear about what we want and expect those close just to ‘know’. Sometimes others close to us are doing exactly the same, and maybe we need to give a little without being directly asked.

It’s what makes the world go round!

PS I wrote a wee gratitude list last year as a blog post. It was good to do. There are many more I’d now add to that list but that’s for another day!

Photo Credit: Shannon Pifko

Women Together – A Class Act

I have just finished one of my Renewyou courses at a great hotel in Bristol. I am very tired but very happy and energised at one and the same time. What a wonderful collection of women I have just had the privilege of spending a day with.

There really is something magical about a group of women all working together to support and help each other. It truly plays to our strengths; the feeling of trust, caring and respect that was engendered was almost palpable.

I wish some of those people who tell me women are ‘bitchy’ and ‘uncooperative’ together could have seen the magic that happened yesterday. Of course, everyone had a common purpose, to make a positive change in their lives, but already I’ve had enough comments from them to know that something else happened. There was a generosity of spirit that will reward both the givers and receivers. These are not women who will be pulling up the ladder behind them but reaching out to help other women.

So to all you women who were with me yesterday in Bristol, I sincerely thank you. It was a very special day for me too. I wish you success in all your endeavours. I know you will be fabulous!

“One’s prime is elusive. You little girls, when you grow up, must be on the alert to recognize your prime at whatever time of your life it may occur.” Murial Spark in The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie.

RenewYou Women, you are most definitely in your prime now! Grab it with both hands!

Women’s friendships are important.

Photo Credit: West Suburban -Women’s friendship group

Women, Have You Got a Good Friend?

Does having a good friend at work make you feel better about your job?

In a survey commissioned by Gallop of what makes a great workplace, having a best friend at work came in at number 10 in the top 12!

I have always smiled at this as this was a survey of 80,000 managers, and management can be very lonely. I don’t have a gender breakdown for it but I know when I’m running my women’s courses that women are happy to admit to this fact. For senior women it can be extremely isolating as often there are fewer women in similar positions and they can find themselves carrying the flag for all women’s issues in an organisation.

Fight/Flight

I think women in particular may value friendships at work because of our unique responses to stress. Although we also have the surge of adrenalin that prepares us to run away or stand and fight, we also have a third coping mechanism when feeling under stress. Women release oxytocin, the ‘love hormone’ which is released after childbirth to promote bonding.

Women Need Friends

It seems women may have an actual physiological need for friendship. As workplaces can be very stressful places is it any wonder that friendships score highly!

Try and take a few moments out of your busy day to consider the following:

• Do you have a best friend at work?
• How important are your friendships to you in managing the stresses and strains of life?
• Are you paying enough attention to your friendships?

And please do share your answers with us!

Friends Are So Good for You!

When times are hard remember who your friends are.  You know that an hour spent with a good friend can give you a real boost and there is plenty of scientific research to tell you why.

Happiness is Catching

Yes, it’s true, you can catch happiness from your friends. Isn’t that wonderful? Researchers at California University and Harvard measured the happiness of almost 5000 people over a period of 20 years. What they found was that when an individual was happy it spread through their network of friends, and then their friend’s friends! And what’s more the effect could last for up to one year!

Women’s Friendships

You will probably have heard of the flight/fight response, when our bodies respond to a stressful situation by releasing adrenalin, to help us either fight our way out or run like the clappers! Well, some women scientists have looked again at this original research which was carried out only on men. They have discovered that when under stress women release the hormone, oxytocin. Oxytocin is the ‘love’ hormone. The hormone that helps women bond with their newborn babies, for example.

Turn to a Friend

When women are under stress they are actually helped by being with their friends. We like to talk things through. We’re not gossiping, we need to talk, we’re managing our stress!