My Number One Tip for Women
To quote the bard, and notwithstanding the plethora of advice I am offering through this pages, my best tip to you is:
To thine own self be true
It’s not easy being a woman in the 21st century, bombarded with generally unattainable images on beauty as we are, being told we can do anything we want as well, (barriers, what barriers?) as well as knocking up nutritious meals in our spare time while channelling Cath Kidston throughout our immaculate homes!
I often work with women who feel they ‘should‘ be something other than they are. The truth is if you’re trying to be something you’re not, something or someone that doesn’t sit comfortably with your value base, then you will always feel out of kilter in your world. And over time that takes its toll on you. It’s hard to be successful if your heart isn’t in it.
So honour your values, honour what makes you unique, and to thine own self be true.
How do you know when you are being true to yourself? Does your current job do it for you? I’d love to hear from you!
If you’d like to read a little more about values try this What Price Your Value? Or What Does Success Mean to You?
Women Are Difficult at Work?
Whenever I post something about gender issues someone will invariably feel compelled to tell me that they have worked with “difficult women“; that women don’t support each other, are ‘bitchy’ (hate that word) and that they once had a female boss who was awful.
Most of the time I resist the impulse to say “So what?”
For the purposes of clarification and so in future I can refer such folk (and it’s men and women equally) to this post, let me explain:
- wanting a fairer representation for women at work
- wanting to see women represented in serous news programmes
- wanting to see more women in senior positions
- wanting businesses to have more women on boards
- running a course for women who want to progress
- coaching women who want to progress in their careers
- wanting to see what women bring to the professional world is valued alongside the attributes of men
does NOT mean that I think women are better than men and infallible.
Women get it wrong sometimes.
Men get it wrong sometimes.
We are different and bring different gifts to the table. I want to see a world where we make space at the table for both and not run things so one half of the population has an advantage.
If you enjoyed this post, do take a look at A Feminist Paradox, and am happy to hear your views too!
Photo Credit: Nextia
Great Idea Ms Jones… Would a Man Care to Say It?
OK, I know it’s a cliché but sadly it’s a cliché that still rings true for women in the professional world. If we’re not careful we get overlooked and over talked. That’s not my prejudices coming out there; that’s the results of almost every piece of research looking at workplace interactions.
Why?
Every time I read something or hear someone I’m working with make that comment (or express that sentiment) I wonder how can this still be true? There are lots of differences in the way men and women communicate. One is not better than the other, at least not in my book; we need both styles to have a representative society that works for the majority, not 50% (Or only works when the other 50% adopt the style of the dominant 50%). The world is comprised of men and women, roughly in equal numbers, yet one style of communication has been set as the bar, the standard all are judged by.
Speak Up
I have read masses of research and books on this topic and generally speaking no great surprises are revealed. The circumstances vary but in summary, women talk less and get listened to less yet the perception is that women talk more! Which says volumes about how women’s talk is regarded.
So as a professional woman what can you do? Well, being aware is part of the answer. Take time to notice how you speak in mixed groups. Do you hedge your language with ifs, and buts and placatory ‘I’m sorry to interrupt’? Is ‘sorry’ an over used word in your repertoire?
You can’t control what others may do or say, but you can control you. Speak with confidence, expect to be listened to, give that message in all the language you use, bodily and verbally. Your words need to be congruent with every other piece of information you’re giving. And remember, if you don’t have confidence in yourself, and in what you’re saying, no one else will!
Working On Your Career
If you’d like to work directly with me on this or any other issue, simply give me a call to discuss it further. I’m on 01761438749 and I’m looking forward to hearing from you!
Photo Credit: Mjamesno
Are You The Boss You’d Like?
Well, are you?
If you were your own boss (and maybe you are, as I am) would people be queuing up to get in your team based on how you treat yourself?
Try honestly answering the following questions:
Do you treat yourself well? By which I mean do you look after yourself when working?
Do you take regular breaks? Grab some fresh air at least once a day?
Do you have a proper lunch break away from your desk/workplace at least three times a week?
Do you regularly praise yourself for a job well done?
Do you celebrate your successes?
Do you invest in yourself, take advantage of training on offer?
I hope you can answer yes to a good few of those. if not, time to give yourself an appraisal! Got to dash. the sun is shining and I’m going into the garden for 15 minutes!
Please share your ‘look after yourself’ tips!
Photo Credit: Arte Ram
Is Presenteeism Hindering Women’s Success?
When I left the corporate world over 9 years ago no one actually used the word ‘presenteeism‘. We talked lots about absenteeism but over working? It didn’t feature in discussions yet it was there.
Apparently, the term “presenteeism” was coined by Professor Cary Cooper, a psychologist specializing in organisational management at Manchester University in the UK. It generally means people turning up for work when sick and is especially prevalent now as more people are fearful of losing their jobs in the current poor economic climate.
The Midnight Mail (Male?)
There have always been incidents of being present at work (and not necessarily working), and we all know the folk who send out work emails out at 2am to illustrate how dedicated they are to the cause. I even know of someone who set them on auto to go out then so it looked as if he was madly working away all the hours available!
The trouble is it becomes the corporate norm and suddenly people, men or women, who are not doing it are viewed as lacking in commitment, even when the organisation officially disowns the practice. I don’t have a gender breakdown, but generally speaking this is not a game women can play, as they are usually the ones with caring responsibilities; neither is it a game that women want to play.
Part Time Gain
What I do know is, that when I recruited part time staff (always women as it happens) they worked as hard and as productively as my full time staff and actually achieved more, hour by hour than their whole time equivalents. I have also watched members of staff who didn’t have to rush home at close of play, dawdle through parts of their day, secure in the knowledge that they could stay after normal hours and gain kudos for being ‘committed players’.
No Winners
The sad fact is no one really wins when this culture is prevalent. Sick people do not work well and get sicker; people feel compelled to stay late and work too long and get stressed as their life gets out of kilter; and women are at a disadvantage because even if it were desirable, they tend not to be part of the late clique and get labelled as not committed. And what we should be doing is questioning the whole idea of presenteeism and its role in corporate life
A very senior female executive confided in me recently:
“I have given up the idea of trying to get a balance in my life. So many of the meetings don’t even begin until after 5pm. I’m paid a lot to do this job and I m now resigned to never getting home before 8pm most week day evenings unless I plan it in advance“.
The role models need to be at the top, modelling a good work and home balance. And if the ‘top’ were more gender balanced, we might just see some more sensible hours. No one can give of their best 12 hours a day on a regular basis; eventually folk will burn out and women (and so e men) who want to have a life outside of work, or who have to be home, will be disadvantaged and companies will lose excellent staff.
Photo Credit: Chris Johnson
Career Tips for Women # 19
Stop being so law abiding!
I don’t mean go out and break the law! But I do mean take a bit of time to consider if you are playing to the rules just a little too much. In my experience women ask for permission to do things much more than their male couterparts, even down to issues about taking allocated leave.
There is a fine line between paying someone the courtesy of letting them know your plans, or asking them to validate them. The latter weakens your position, and can make you appear indecisive.
Look again at your job description if necessary or at colleagues on the same scale. Are you taking full advantage of the power and the authority that you have?
Do you find yourself asking permission a lot at work? I find it tends to increase during times of uncertainty as people’s tolerance of risk is lessened and employees toe the line and try to stay below the radar.
Sometimes it really is better to apologise for something you’ve done that live fearful of overstepping the mark. Most successful people take calculated risks in their roles. Use all your power and personal authority within your role. It’s what they employ you for!
