Well, because she’s a woman! Men and women ARE different, for whatever reasons. And until what women bring to the workplace is equally valued along with male attributes, we’ll always be a pace behind, trying to fit into a male oriented workplace.

An issue that crops up time and time again when I’m coaching senior women is ‘how can I be true to myself yet still progress?’ My response is often to reverse the same question:

How can you progress without being true to yourself?

 That way madness lies. So don’t try and behave like a man, dress in pinstripes, wear ties (shades of the 80s for those old enough to remember!) if that is not comfortable for you. Relish and be proud of your feminity.

Choices

If you are in a very traditional organisation where male attitudes dominate (however subliminal) you have some choices to make:

1)You can challenge the staus quo, using whatever means are comfortable and appropriate for you and your circumstances.

2) You can try and moderate your behaviour to the cultural norms and not rock the boat, i.e. behave like a man to get on, although as you aren’t actually a man, you may never cut the mustard.

3)You can plan to leave and go somewhere you can flourish!

If we women don’t promote feminine values in the workplace, who will?

However, we acknowledged that in the current economic climate having a job which paid reasonably well, with friendly colleagues, was not to be sniffed at! It was just a tad dull with few opportunities around to change.

What’s Missing?

So we explored together just what was missing. In her case it was easy to pinpoint- she missed the opportunities for developing staff and supporting others as her role had become more office based.

If your job is not exactly what you want, don’t forget there are other places than work to fill those developmental gaps. In this case, volunteering was a possible option- in a capacity where she could make use of her supportive and empathetic skills. Like working with a local charity.

Maybe to move to the next level you need more experience of handling budgets, for example. Don’t always look to your employer to fill this gap. I know of a woman who got appointed to a senior role without ever having had extensive formal budget experience, an essential requirement of the person specification. She had, however, taken on the PTA treasurer role. She was able to demonstrate that she had all the competencies required and was given the job.

Think Laterally!

Look around you, think laterally. You may be able to meet the gaps in your professional development outside of work, add to your CV, and do a bit of good into the bargain! And if you’re on a career break, don’t forget to keep a record of all those activities like running the local playgroup, or organising the carers rota. It’s all valuable and evidence of your abilities!

Research shows that successful people are ‘career resilient’; they take charge of their own learning and development and are ready to reinvent themselves to keep pace with change.

In your career lifetime you may have several different types of career and business. Young professional, to homemaker, part time work perhaps, professional woman, senior management, or international entrepreneur?

Try this exercise. Close your eyes, and allow yourself to relax. Breathe out as long as is comfortable and you will take in a much deeper breath as a result. Now, imagine that you are coming home from work in a year’s time. You have just had the best of working days for you. You are so thrilled. What has happened to make it so great? In your mind’s eye see yourself going through your day in your brilliant new job and make a mental note of what is happening? Where it it happening? Who is there?

As you bring yourself back to the present, take a pen and jot down anything that has come to you. Dare to dream that you CAN have the working life you want. You just need to know what it is and then you can make a start!