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Jackie Ballard – Inspirational Woman

I’m really pleased to be talking with Jackie Ballard. I first heard about Jackie when she was a  Member of Parliament representing the Liberal Democrat party; she is now the Chief Executive of my favourite charity, WomanKind. I think there lurks a story in how she got from one to the other…

Jackie Ballard PhotoJane: Jackie, thank you for talking with us today. I’m particularly pleased as I am a supporter of the work of WomanKind; it’s good to be multi tasking here with you as an inspirational woman and promoting WomanKind! Could you tell us a little about why WomankInd is so special and what attracted you to the post?
Jackie: Womankind Worldwide is a special charity because we work exclusively on women’s rights in Africa, Asia and South America and because we don’t deliver projects on the ground ourselves but work with women’s organisations to help build a movement.  Our priority themes are violence against women and girls, civil and political participation and economic empowerment.

We believe that by working with women’s rights organisations we support existing local agendas for women’s rights rather than setting agendas from the outside that don’t necessarily reflect the priorities of women themselves. Women’s rights organisations have the ability to tackle root causes of inequality and drive a long-term shift in the status quo – an intensely political project that needs to be locally driven.

I have long wanted to make a contribution in the area of international development and I have always supported women’s equality so the job seemed a perfect fit.  Having run two large charities in the past ten years (RSPCA and Action on Hearing Loss) I also wanted the new challenge of running a much smaller charity where I have to be more hands on.

Jackie, what kind of childhood did you have? I think we’re of an age so you will also have grown up in an era when girls were generally encouraged to be ‘nice young ladies’. Did your parents encourage your leadership qualities?
That’s a big question.  I am not sure I was ever a nice young lady!  I went to about 7 primary schools in as many years as my parents moved around Scotland and then settled in South Wales.  I was then lucky (and clever) enough to win a scholarship to a girls’ boarding school and it was there that I became the person I am today.  I learned to have confidence in myself, I learned how to debate and stand my ground and I learned about how unequal the world is.  What really had an impact on me was the realisation that no-one has control over which patch of earth they are born on, but it can have a massive impact on their life chances and outcomes.  It was at school that I became politicised and determined to do something with my life to fight inequalities and injustices.  Quite a lot of the time I was an angry young girl.

Were there any hints in your childhood of the career you were to follow? What was your very first job, for example?
I started the school debating society! I was also quite rebellious at school and often in trouble for rule breaking.  My very first job was making sandwiches in a café outside Chepstow Castle when I was a teenager, I then had a few waitressing jobs, including in my parent’s pub.  I also had many ‘holiday’ jobs when I was at university but I guess you are asking what was my first full time permanent job – I was a social worker in the London Borough of Waltham Forest.

It’s a given that politics is a very male preserve and not well geared to the majority of women. I don’t mean just the anti social hours as that must surely impact on men too, but more the hectoring, adversarial style which is much more suited to male styles than to women.  If not that, then the patronising comments made to and about women on shoes, looks, etc. I know it was fiction but watching Borgen (a show about Danish politics) seemed to present a much more civilised model. A couple of questions on that period of your life, if I may.
How did you end up as an MP?
I was a political activist from university – but didn’t join a political party until I met Paddy Ashdown (then the MP for Yeovil).  I bombarded him with letters about the various issues that bothered me – ranging from VAT on children’s shoes to nuclear disarmament.  Eventually, he knocked on my door and persuaded me to join the Liberal party.  Within a couple of years I was elected to the local Town Council, the District Council (where I became Council Leader), then to Somerset County Council.  I stood for Parliament in 1992 – lost, stood again in 1997 and won, then lost again in 2001! I became an MP because I thought that was where the ultimate power to change society lay.

How did you cope with the sexism from colleagues and press, particularly so as you were spokesperson on Women’s issues for a time. Some major political figures have recently been ‘outed’ for their sexist and inappropriate behaviour towards junior members; without naming names is that something you ever experienced? How did you deal with it?
I was horrified at the behaviour in the House of Commons.  Otherwise sensible people (usually men) turned back into children, banging their desks when they were excited, calling names and competing with each other for attention.  I watched a You Tube video the other day of the New Zealand Parliament clapping and cheering when they passed the Act to allow same sex marriage  The public burst into song – it was amazing and so human.  The House of Commons is flawed in so many ways, including the fact that 650 MPs (NB 503 of them are men) cannot physically fit into the chamber at the same time.

The worst insult I received was from the late Auberon Waugh, writing in the Telegraph, who said I was too fat to be an MP.  I am never quick on my feet with put downs, but that particular story had a happy ending when he bid a lot of money at an ‘auction of promises’ to have dinner with me and we settled our differences over a convivial meal.  He later wrote a column in The Telegraph saying he had changed his mind about me and not long before he died we shared a bottle of champagne on a train journey from London to Taunton (he was one of my constituents).

What change would you like to see in parliament to make it a more gender neutral place?
What changes would I like to see in society is more to the point?  To some extent we get the Parliament we deserve.  I would like politics to be less tribal, for people to be able to admit that other parties have good ideas and good policies, I would like a proportional voting system which gives voters more power than parties, I would like children at school to be taught the importance of democratic institutions and of voting and I wish that the representatives of the people (because that is what they are, they are not the rulers of the people) really looked like the people they represent i.e. 51% women, more black and Asian people, more people with disabilities, more people from comprehensive schools and social housing, more people who have worked in non political or lobbying roles etc  I could go on for quite a long time to really answer this question!

I know you have travelled abroad extensively, particularly to Iran. How has that influenced your thinking?
I was so happy in Iran. It is a beautiful country and the people are very cultured and interesting.  Of course, there are many problems there especially in terms of human rights and the restrictions placed on women, which I would not defend,  but I learned that the West has a habit of over simplifying and demonising societies which we basically don’t understand.  The world is fascinating because of its diversity of cultures and traditions.

Who is your role model?
In politics I have long admired Shirley Wilson, Harriet Harman, Hilary Clinton – each of them fighters and survivors.  My mum was a huge role model – she worked at a career she loved from the age of 18 till she was 60 and she had the courage to end a marriage which was not happy.  I didn’t really appreciate the challenges my mother had in her life, until she died last year and I did the eulogy at her funeral.

If you could pass one law to improve the quality of life for women what would it be?
I don’t think I would pass a new law, I think I would ensure that all the existing laws across the world, relating to violence against women in domestic, social and conflict situations – were actually enacted.  That women had the resources and support to take their case to law, that police and the judiciary took them seriously and that all perpetrators were convicted and punished.

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given and how did it help you?
Remember every contact leaves a trace.  I have been lucky not to have made many enemies, despite having been active in party politics for 15 years.  I keep meeting people in different contexts and am so glad that our previous contact didn’t leave a negative impression.

What would be your advice to yourself at age 18?
Treasure the love, it may not come your way again.

Jackie, thank you so much and long may womankind prosper under your stewardship.

If you’d like to fine out more about Womankind here is their website. Well worth a look.

Thinking of expanding your training business? Are you passionate about empowering women? I can help you! To find out how, click here.

Are You Asking For It?

I’ve been reading with some sadness about the comments the actor Dennis Waterman has made on hitting his ex-wife Rula Lenska (article here).

According to the media Waterman (an actor I confess to previously having a soft spot for since he starred as Just William many decades ago) says he was violent because he had struggled to win arguments with his ‘strong, intelligent‘ wife. He later added ‘It’s not hard for a woman to make a man hit her‘.

In other words, an articulate, intelligent woman arguing with a man is ‘asking for it’. At least in Waterman’s world.

I’ve heard this excuse many times before. I used to work professionally with men whose inability to control their anger had brought them before the courts: they regularly trotted out the Waterman defence-

I was forced into it‘.

She provoked me‘.

She’d drive anyone to violence

And more alarmingly I’ve heard women, after receiving violence from men, say:

I forced him into it

I provoked him

I should have kept quiet

It’s not so long ago since it was ‘socially acceptable’ for men to hit their wives or girlfriends and the authorities would turn a blind eye. Families would often turn a blind eye. Man’s dominance over women was tacitly accepted. In some cultures that is still acceptable and we know terrible violence against women still takes place in this country today. Yes, men are subject to violence too but the difference here is women are subjected to violence on a regular basis because they are women, because they asked for it.

There’s still a lot of work to do to change attitudes, in both men and women. The minority of men who use violence to control, as much as the women who receive it, need help. I am glad to see the outrage around Waterman’s comments; it’s sending a this is unacceptable message out loud and clear.

If you’ve been outraged too you might like to drop by the Womankind site, a charity aimed at empowering women across the world.

You might find also this post of interest- What Stops You Being Assertive?

Thinking of expanding your training business? I can help you. To find out more, click here.

Photo credit: Julia Freeman-Woolpart

 

Help Yourself and Help Women Everywhere!

How would you like to make a contribution to help women in need of some support, and also get something that will help you?

If you’re a regular visitor you’ll know this blog supports Womankind. This is just a taste of what they do below so you can see why I hold them in high esteem:

We help women achieve change:

1.    We help courageous individuals to challenge violence and discrimination
In some countries, this could involve accompanying a girl to a village meeting so she can tell women and men that it is now against the law for a girl to be forced to marry a man after he has raped her, and encourage girls to see they do have a choice.
2.    We help women come together
In many different ways, we help women join together, often for the first time, to talk about what they want to change, and then we help them achieve it. This could involve providing training in how to resolve conflicts, or in leadership skills, so women are better able to challenge violence and speak up for better healthcare or education.
3.    We help women claim their rights and improve their lives
We might provide legal help to enable a woman to obtain a divorce from a man who beats her, or work with the police to encourage them to help women rather than return them to their husbands.

Buy a Book and 100% of Profits go to Womankind!

I want to bring their excellent work to your attention. So, from now until end of 2012 every single penny made from the sale of my book When Work isn’t Working will go to Womankind. If you’ve been thinking about getting hold of a copy I hope this will prompt you into action.

Please do share this with your friends, enemies, family, work colleagues, anyone who hates their job, people you pass in the street (only joking on that one -sort of), and lets see if we can make a decent contribution to Womankind this summer and spread the joy to women everywhere!

If you don’t want the book either in download or paper, perhaps you’d consider donating directly via this link, or you can just get the book knowing Womankind will get the money, or you can even do both!

THANK YOU!

Jane

WomanKind Needs Your Support

There was a horrific and terribly moving story on BBC Radio 4 this morning about a young Afghan girl who was given away by her family to atone for a wrong. As she was their property she was theirs to do with as they wished and became the property of the new family.

Said her new ‘family’: “It’s ok if she dies, she’s been given to us”

She was 6 years old. At 12 years old she was married to a 40 year old man who already had a wife. He treated the women in his life with great cruelty and eventually at 16 the young girl ran away. She now lives in a safe house, in fear of her life.

Coltan/Carol

It reminded me very powerfully of an incident from my childhood which contributed to my subsequent feminism and strong views on gender equality.

I grew up in a neighbourhood with a high immigrant population and one of my friends was an Asian girl. Her mother was English and had married a Indian Muslim. Carol, my friend was a  year older than me. I was 12, the same age that Shabana was married to the 40 year old. I loved going into Carol’s house as it was so very different and full of all sorts of comings and goings as hospitality was regularly extended to the many relatives and friends arriving from India. It was full of pungent aromas, ‘strange’ cooking, exotic language, and amazing clothes; I spent hours trying on Carol’s beautiful saris. But most of the time she wore western clothes; saris were for special occasions.

And then it all changed. Carol’s father decreed she must marry and a groom was found. She and I hid behind the curtain to try and catch a glimpse of the various suitors (she was not involved in the process and not allowed to see him until the day of the wedding.) To my 12 year old self it was fun and exciting. At least at first. Carol too found it all a bit of a laugh; neither of us really understood what was happening.

A Wedding is Arranged

A suitable husband was chosen by the men of the family (her mother was not involved), and the wedding was arranged. Carol had to change her name and became (I think) Coltan or Koltan. I am not sure because she was forbidden to see me. She was forbidden contact with all her friends as they were now chosen by her for her new husband as were her traditional clothes.

And I never saw her again.

Occasionally her Mum would give me updates on how she was, always reassuring me she was happy, but I found it hard to believe. I hope she was. I hope she had a good man and made a good marriage. But she  had no choice, she was given away too, in Kent, in the 1970s. And it still happens in this country, not just in Afghanistan.

WomanKind

And that’s one of the reasons I am an ardent supporter of WomanKind and if the BBC story has touched you, I urge you to support them too. Here’s a quote from their web site:

Why we must act now

“Womankind has been working with women’s organizations in Afghanistan for seven years, and we’ve seen the damage that has been done to women’s rights, but also the positive changes in ordinary women’s lives won by our partners and by brave individuals like Nargis.

Today 2.5 million Afghan girls are reported to be enrolled in school and 25% of women are working. Women are claiming their rights and beginning to demand an end to violence and harmful traditions.

On 5 December 2011, representatives from 90 countries are meeting in Bonn, Germany for a conference that will shape Afghanistan’s future.  In 2010 important conferences were held in London and Kabul, and at each just one woman was invited to speak.

We are campaigning with others to ensure that women are active partners in the discussion at Bonn. If Afghan women are not at the negotiating table with a strong voice and international support, their hard-won rights are at stake.”

You can find out more about the BBC story here BBC Radio 4 link And you can sign Womankind’s petition here. Please do, and please share this story.

Photo Credit: Ruth Livingstone

Me, Women, & Prisons

If you’re a regular reader of my blog you may have noticed that I’ve been quite doing a bit of reflection lately (here, for example). It’s always good to take a bit of time out now and again to think about what you’re doing and why you’re doing it!

One of the issues I wanted to pay attention to was that part of what I do which is not about actually earning an income.Obviously I couldn’t stop doing that, nor did I want to – I genuinely love what I do, but I really wanted to take some time to pay attention to the other bit of my working life.

Women and Prisons

In a previous role I’ve worked with offenders and in prisons. At that time, being employed in a bureaucratic government organisation I was restricted in what I could do, although we did pioneer some very successful group working! Recently I found myself wondering if the techniques and methods I use now (and know work with women to help them make really meaningful life changes), would have helped those women to take more control of their lives. I was idly wondering how I might make this a reality this when out of the blue my old manager from the probation service got in touch with me again. He is still doing some work in a women’s prison. I blathered on about my ideas, he was encouraging and enthusiastic… and together we have put together a plan! Early signs are hopeful, and we have submitted an outline for consideration. The wheels grind slow…but I am optimistic!

Women and Charity

My second aspiration was to make a contribution somehow to women’s issues the world over.  (I know, a bit grandiose of me but…you’ve got to have a go.) I’ve been researching for a while, looking for an appropriate charity to promote through these web pages and have been speaking with Womankind (if you click on the link you’ll hear Sandi Toksvig telling you all about it). There will be more about them in a post on International Women’s Day, March 8th. As my charity of choice I will be giving 10% of all proceeds from this site (advertising, book sales etc) to the charity. (And if you ever feel like giving a bob or two I hope you’ll think of them and click the link in the blog roll!)

The Day Job

However, I am still doing the day job! I’m still coaching and delivering courses like my  Women Ahead to encourage women to break the  glass ceiling and work towards equity in the workplace! But taking that  a wee break has been wonderful, and it’s possibly been one of my most creative periods to date. While I was turning my focus outwards the creative juices have flowed like billyho and I have all sorts of plans forming. I have made room to do more of what I want to do and have revitalised myself. It’s been wonderful!

So, when you can, step away from your own day to day stuff from time to time, do a little checks and balances exercise on yourself. Plan it in your diary, or take advantage of unexpected down time. How ever your life is at the moment (and life is always troughs and peaks, isn’t it?) it will help you if you can pause for a while, take some (mental) time out, and see where it leads you. Sometimes you need to make space for good things to happen. You may get a surprise…