What is Important in Your Life?

The advertising world is very good at telling us what we want to eat, to read, to look like, to wear, how to decorate our homes and so on. It has a vested interest in us ‘wanting’ things so it creates needs we didn’t know we had until they told us! Very few of us are immune ( I speak as someone who has just acquired a flat screen TV- yes, we are very late adopters!)

Most of this is relatively harmless (unless you buy from companies which exploit countries, employees and use child labour!) as long as in our hearts we know what really counts.

Policy, Procedures, Politics & Overload

It’s not just advertising though. In our work we can get dazzled (or dazed) by policies, procedures, promotions,  and politics and start to lose sight of the really important things in life. In the scramble to do our job well, get noticed, fight our corner, we can forget why we work in the first place, what our own bottom line is. Sometimes the higher up the organisation we go, the more disconnected we can feel with staff delivering service on the ground. This disconnect can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction which we fill by trying to do more of the things which took us there in the first place, or buying things to booster our self esteem and provide a justification for what we’re doing all day long.

No One is Immune

I experienced this myself. I started out in my social work career to make a difference, to help people have better lives. Yet the more I advanced the further away I found myself from my original aspiration and the more involved I seemed to get with minutia. It was very seductive for a while, feeling important.

My awakening came when I tried to evaluate just what contribution I was making to the very people I had started out wanting to help. It didn’t feel enough. Occasionally, despite being my own boss, it still doesn’t, and I have to go and reconnect, irrespective of whether this is a good move for my business or my purse!

I  see symptoms of disconnect sometimes when working one to one with senior managers. They can get so fixated on their own roles that they forget what their organisation is there to do, what it’s like for those directly in touch with the public or customer. For example, a while back, while acting in a consulting role, I made a comment that staff would be pleased with something we had agreed (the agreement was achieved with some hearty debate).

“Oh well, as long as they are happy” a senior manager said in a voice heavy with sarcasm, entirely missing the point. The point was not to make senior managers happy but to improve service delivery on the ground; front line staff deliver service on the ground, either through sales, or service. Unhappy, demoralised staff give bad service and do not work well in my experience. Lose sight of that and you are on a hiding to nothing.

By the same token,  your own personal satisfaction falls when you lose sight of your own personal values.

Go Back to the Floor

One remedy for managers is to get back out on the ‘shop floor’, whatever that might be. Actually go and visit staff, spend a day on the ground. get a real up to date feel for what goes on. I know one chief executive who spent a day on a public enquiry desk to better understand what staff were dealing with. It was very enlightening!

It’s a remedy for all of us, when we’re getting caught up in work battles and politics – remember what is really important to us. Keep your foundations solid.

What is really important in your life, and are you giving it the care and attention it deserves? How do you make sure that you keep yourself connected?

Me and Elvis Presley!

Anyone who has attended my training or seminars knows that I have a bit of a thing about Elvis Presley.  In fact, it might be fair to say that I am something of an ardent fan and am still in recovery from the fact that Elvis died three days into my Honeymoon!

When I’m training or delivering my seminars, I play a game with myself and try to mention him at least once (yes, I know it’s a bit weird but bear with me and read on. Most of the time I am completely normal….ish).

However, I do have rules and I can’t just stick his name in at any old juncture; there has to be a real connection or reason. So for example, if we’re talking about achieving dreams, or setting goals, I might just mention that I used to have a long time dream of visiting Graceland which I have now achieved. It has to be a bit subtle (although I do have some women who have attended a few of my seminars and now wait to see how long I wait before somehow making the Elvis connection!)

So I was thrilled to come across this quote which gives me, a coach and personal development specialist, an excellent and legitimate reason to mention him in a post.

Elvis said:
“Values are like fingerprints. Nobody’s are the same, but you leave ‘em all over everything you do”

Sage advice…

Are you clear about your values in life? Whether you are conscious of them or not, they have an impact on what you choose to do, and what you choose not to do. If you are in a role or a relationship that doesn’t sit well with your value base you will never feel right.

So, take some time now to think about the fingerprints you leave behind. What are your values?

What Price Your Value?

Our values are of huge importance to us. If we able to live life in a way that respects our values we’re well on the way to finding the secret of happiness!

Values are not our morals; they are not about being right or wrong (although living in an ethical way might be a value we hold).

When we are honouring our values we feel ‘right’ inside. Similarly when we are ignoring, (or are not able to live by) our values we feel all ‘wrong’. The technical term is dissonance. If we’re not making choices in life based on our true values we’ll suffer from dissonance. It may reveal itself as frustation, or anger, or indifference. We may try to pretend to ourselves that all is well but inside we know. All is not well, whether it’s at work, or in our private life. We know something is not right, even if we can’t always put our finger on what is wrong.

I have included an exercise in my book on understanding your values because articulating our values can sometimes be difficult. This post may also help. What values have to be met for you to have a happy and fulfilling life? Does your current job or lifestyle honour them?