The lads were mainly from difficult or deprived backgrounds and regular truants. Violence was a feature of their daily lives. Hardly good prospects for cookery classes! Yet they loved it! And I never had any bother at all (although one boy did think it was really funny to hide in a cupboard and leap out brandishing a cook’s knife just as I was demonstrating how to separate eggs…)

Talking is Good

Teaching someone a new skill, or adding to their skill base, is a great place to talk things through and we had some amazing conversations over sieved flour! Nowadays I suppose it might be called coaching. For the boys it was general chat about life (with some discrete input from me) as we measured, stirred, cooked and created something together.

I took  A level Home Economics at school (does that still exist?) and loved the chat and discussion as much as the cooking. With hindsight probably too much!

And when I was a social worker, working with traumatized children, it was always good to do something practical with them. It’s always easier to talk about ‘difficult’ things when you don’t have to look directly at someone, when you’re engaged in a practical activity, particularly for youngsters.

And now, I still find cooking a good place to gather my thoughts; it’s almost meditative. (Well, until I day dream too much and the pan boils over!)  I often think I should maybe set up a cooking and coaching course!

When do you have some of your best thoughts?

It was wonderful, pure and unadulterated relaxation. One of the most relaxing and yet stimulating ‘activities’ (if you can call lying on a couch in a white towelling robe an activity) was also one of the most simple.

It was in a circular room, draped in white fabric tented style with luxurious seating, candles, low lighting and soft birdsong type music. All the senses were indulged. In the centre were four different sized glass columns full of gently bubbling water which changed colour every few minutes. The effect was very gentle and calming yet sitting there I did more thinking about Life and the Universe than I have in ages. It was a great experience for my business as well as for my health.

Colour Your Life

It’s well known that colour can have a great effect on our imaginations and problem solving abilities. Yet I still visit workplaces which are dull and uninspiring, where the dominant colour is battle ship grey. If you work in such a place you are probably not consciously aware of the dulling effect it may have on you.

So try and jazz it up. Introduce some colour into your workplace, maybe with plants, posters, crayons on desks. This is particularly important if you don’t have access to a window and can’t see natural light. In those circumstances orange (sun like) can be a good colour to introduce somehow. Have some fun.

Some companies instinctively do the right thing. For example,I am in discussion with a large organisation looking with some advice for managers in helping staff be more creative, more involved and energised. They have chosen a very stimulating environment for this day and are busy incorporating lots of fun in amongst the serious stuff. I know they will get at least as good results, if not much better, than if they had gone down the standard team day route!

How much colour is there in your life? How could you zest up your life with a little bit of colour and relaxation?

Blue, Red, & Green Thinking

I am grateful for this idea to Nigel May Barlow, author of Re-Think-How to Think Differently.

He talks about three stages of creative thinking:

Blue - Blue is for IDEAS- with the sky being the limit! Blue type questions are Well, why not? and What if we…?

Red - Red is for STOP, like traffic lights. It’s the selection, evaluation, fine tuning and prioritising stage, choosing your best ideas.

Green – Green is for GO, deciding who is going to do what, by when, planning in the milestones.

In any group of people you are likely to find a scattering of all these types. Some will be more comfortable with a particular colour than others. if you get too many in one category you may miss out some of the valuable stages.

For example, a room of Blues may generate some fabulous ideas but never actually get around to putting them into action! Whereas Reds will never allow enough discussion of ideas as they push to get something agreed. And the Greens will be busy planning who is doing what before Blues have finished being creative!

What colour are you? How does it show itself in you?

One of the reasons people find coaching so helpful is that it gives them an opportunity to rehearse ideas with a neutral person. We often don’t know what we think until we say it loud.

Sometimes we have an idea that we’re not actually ready for the world to hear because we haven’t heard it made real.

Mirror, Mirror

If you find yourself in this position, try this. Stand in front of your mirror and pitch the idea to yourself!

Think about it as your literal reflection time!

Who helps you bring ideas to fruition?

Listen

On the face of it this seems really easy but it isn’t! Listening well is a real art and a good listener will be a well informed woman. People also love being listened to, so some of that feel good factor is attributed to the listener

Allow the Silence

Next time you are in a meeting and an awkward silence ensues, don’t rush to fill it, or feel responsible for rescuing the situation. Just let it be for a while. If this makes you feel uncomfortable ask yourself why. The person who knows how to hold their counsel on occasion is often seen as wise and thoughtful.

 John Harvery Jones once said that a meeting without silences meant no one was thinking. Study the body language of your colleagues, aim to look comfortable and relaxed yourself but don’t rush in. Use the space to think!

Listen Well

Practise good listening in other areas of your life. When asked a question, or to solve a problem, don’t always rush to add your own thoughts or experiences but instead, from time to time, practise focussing on the person speaking to you. Ask them questions about what they actually mean. Get them to clarify and give examples. Don’t feel rushed into a response but tell them you’d like some time to consider and come back to them with a response (always get back to them though!)