If the answer is yes, perhaps it’s time to press pause.

Stop

There was a fascinating item on BBC radio a while back about mindfulness. Apparently people who practice mindfulness are a much harder bunch for advertisers to sell to (they can be less stressed all round, see this post). Or rather they were able to resist more effectively the intense pressure of advertising than other groups. They didn’t need so many things to feel content. So here’s a very short mindfulness type exercise which won’t eat into your day but may reduce your stress levels and act like your own internal pause button during these busy weeks.

The Press Pause Exercise

Each hour has 60 minutes. Choose one of those sixty minutes and do the following:

Pause in whatever you are doing (in safety-obviously!). If possible lower or close your eyes.  Become aware of just what your body is doing. Notice if your feet are on the ground, hooked round a chair, if you have crossed legs, etcetera? Now pay attention to your torso. How are you holding yourself, are you able to breathe as well as you can?

Now notice your breathing. How are you breathing? Just take notice, don’t change it (although almost inevitably just being aware will slow your breathing).

Notice how you actually feel. Don’t judge, just notice what your feelings are, become conscious of your emotions.

And finally, when convenient for you, breathe out one breath for a slightly longer time than normal. Just one.

Open your eyes.

Smile.

Press go.

Photo credit: M Kranz

Individuals and Change

I was making the point that, when we as individuals decide to make a significant change, for those close to us or who work closely with us, our decision to change is a change in their lives over which they have no control. And when we feel we have no control over change we instinctively want to resist it.

If we don’t let the appropriate people in our lives know what we are doing then we can expect them to be potential saboteurs of the change we want to make. They may not even realise they are doing it. But one thing is for sure, if you don’t give them information, communicate with them, they won’t be allies.

Change in the Workplace

Our discussion then became more wide ranging and we began to discuss our experiences of organisational change. Why, asked my group, do senior managers start well but then stop communicating with staff?

I suspect it’s because they themselves are also going through the change process as change may be imposed on them (as in redundancies because of the economic situation) and they are coping with their own feelings. Also, we expect senior managers to have the answers, to know what is going on.

Having been on both sides of the equation I can tell you that they often don’t know what is going on! They know the end result required, i.e. saving money, but the route may be far from clear. Fearful of giving the wrong answers they go to ground and give none; they stop communicating. Bad move, as nature abhors a vacuum and it will be filled! Often with misinformation and rumour.

BBC

Coincidentally, this discussion was almost mirrored on the BBC this morning as they talked to two experts on organisational psychology and change and why change caused us so much stress. A recent survey has shown stress to be the biggest cause of lost working days. Lack of communication was cited as the top reason. Why, asked the interviewer, does knowing more about what is going on help keep stress levels down?

The experts didn’t have much time to respond but this is the answer. Once we have the facts we can take back some control, we can decide how we are going to react. When we’re not told what is going on we’re being treated like children. And guess what? Treat adults like children and you’ll get some childlike behaviour back! Not knowing makes us stressed as we imagine so much worse (magical thinking) and feeling stressed lowers our immunity to the usual bugs and ailments doing the rounds. Even if we think we’re coping well the chances are, if we’re stressed, we’ll end up taking time off for a minor complaint when in normal circumstances we’d womanfully struggle on!

Free Guide for Managers on Change

I have written a guide for managers who have to manage staff through change; I run change seminars within organisations for both managers and staff (any gender!) who are undergoing change. I also worked as project lead for two organisations undergoing huge change: the book is a result of my experiences but, knowing how busy managers are, it’s a short, easy read yet contains everything you need to know!

If you’d like a free copy, and you are a newsletter subscriber, simply go to the contact page on my site and let me know. If you are looking for support within your own organisation, or personally please call on 01761438749, or also use the contact page.

Are you in the midst of significant change? How is it for you? If you’re a manager do you feel you have sufficient support and information? If you are an employee what’s it like for you? Do you know enough about what is happening and why? If you run your own business what’s the biggest problem you face? Please do share your stories!

Also, here you can find a free fact sheet on work related stress from CIPD but you’ll need to register – it’s free.

Photo Credit: Omacaco

If you were your own boss (and maybe you are, as I am) would people be queuing up to get in your team based on how you treat yourself?

Try honestly answering the following questions:

Do you treat yourself well? By which I mean do you look after yourself when working?

Do you take regular breaks? Grab some fresh air at least once a day?

Do you have a proper lunch break away from your desk/workplace at least three times a week?

Do you regularly praise yourself for a job well done?

Do you celebrate your successes?

Do you invest in yourself, take advantage of training on offer?

I hope you can answer yes to a good few of those. if not, time to give yourself an appraisal! Got to dash. the sun is shining and I’m going into the garden for 15 minutes!

Please share your ‘look after yourself’ tips!

Photo Credit: Arte Ram

• Get a newspaper that you don’t normally buy (even if you have to hide it in another cover). Challenge your comfortable views by reading the editorial.
• Walk around your nearest town and look up (don’t fall over). It’s amazing what you spot if you look at the tops of buildings. A whole history can be unveiled before your eyes.
• Buy a return bus ticket and get on the first bus you see and go wherever it goes. Look out of the window and be a tourist.
• Help out someone who looks as if they need a helping hand.

I hope that gives you a new perspective on Sundays! And do tell me, how are Sundays for you? What’s your week end favourite activity? How do you deal with feeling a little down in the dumps? And if this post has been helpful, you might find Banish Anxious Thoughts of interest too.

Photo Credit: Sanja Gjenero

Stop!

Before I even realised what was happening the tension was creeping up my back and I literally couldn’t see the wood for the trees (or in my case the desk for paper!) So I took a bit of my own advice (I do from time to time, honestly) and stopped for a moment or two.  I stopped working, took a few deep breaths, and asked myself my favourite question when feeling overwhelmed:

“What’s the worst that can happen?”

And the answer to that was nothing particularly dreadful. There were some work things I had to do otherwise I would be letting people down, but apart from that… almost everything else was not truly urgent and the world wouldn’t stop spinning on its axis if I didn’t do them in the way I had planned.

Ask Yourself

If you’re feeling a little overwhelmed at this time of the year, try asking yourself the ‘What’s the worst’ question and answering it honestly and realistically. The answer to that will help you plan your day in a more constructive way and hopefully help you see things from a fresh perspective!

PS After doing this exercise yesterday I worked very hard all morning, and then went with a good friend to The American Museum in Bath to see how the early settlers celebrated Christmas. It wasn’t on my to do list, but it did me a power of good!

How do you manage your potential Festive Stress? Do share your tips!

Don’t fall for it.

Take a moment now to think about your best festive holiday times? My guess is that they won’t have been reliant on perfect table linen, professional floral arrangements, massively expensive gifts and an ‘advertisement perfect’ family.

Three Things for Christmas Perfection

List three things that make a festive holiday perfect for you; pick from emotions and feelings as well as material things. It’s very easy to get caught up in materialism and beating yourself up for not being the perfect hostess. If you take a little time now to really focus on what makes the season special for you and your family and friends, that’s where you can direct your energies for the next few weeks, and where you can see a real return in creating your idea of perfect Festive Time.

Forget the Matching Candles!

I love Christmas and I have done my fair share of wittering about matching candles, trying to do it all myself, and wanting a spotless house looking like something from Ideal Home. In the end none of that really matters. If people step across your threshold into a wall of tension and simmering discontent it doesn’t matter how perfect it all looks. No one will relax and enjoy themselves, least of all you.

Resolve now to make this festive period one which you enjoy and relax. Aim to create your three most important things as best you can and simply enjoy all the hustle and bustle, lights, music, crowds for what they are, and stop working towards some idealised version of the perfect Christmas!

Please do share your own tips for not only surviving but having fun too!

In each case the people concerned were in quite distressed states. I am not qualified as a medic but I have worked in the field of psychiatry and  can usually tell when someone is depressed as opposed to miserable or fed up. I always offer a free session before anyone signs up for coaching (in fact, if I don’t know the individual,  I insist on it as all good coaches do). That session is a two way process. It’s for me to find out what the person is looking to achieve from coaching and for them to check out if my style suits them.

Depression

And just lately I have been speaking to people who are clearly very distressed and looking for a very quick fix. I think this is a sign of the times we’re living in. Sometimes coaching can provide a quick answer but not when, as in these cases, the problems are deep seated. In each case the person has been very vulnerable and I have advised contact with a GP, and recommended action where they don’t need to pay a fee. When they have been insistent that I am just what they need, I have asked them to check out with a doctor and call me in a month’s time if they still think coaching will be helpful.

It’s great when they come back on a more even keel and better prepared to get the most of the coaching experience. And when they don’t, I just hope that they have received appropriate help and no longer need coaching, and have not been taken in by some of the spurious claims made for miracle cures.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t just abandon them; I offer my support and advice as far as I am able but I am very clear that sometimes coaching is not the answer!

If you are considering coaching, there is more on this subject here.

I’ve had the book a while but I still find it helpful. It starts with a useful little quiz to help you measure your stress levels and then moves sequentially through the signs and symptoms to strategies for tackling it.

It has  a clear no nonsense approach, making it easy to dip into and read. Here’s an extract from the book:

Step Two: Recognise the mental and physical impact (of dealing with stressful relationships and bullying)

Don’t be tempted to live with the difficulties of having a troublesome work colleague, or seek ways to minimise the impact he or she has on your working life. Avoidance tactics can be time consuming and stressful.

Focus on your own health as this may encourage you to tackle the issue rationally and try to reach an accommodation that will prevent you from jeopardising your health or feeling that you have to leave your job.

Step Three: Determine when the line has been crossed.

Often people find it hard to know whether the line of harassment has been crossed. If they confront the perpetrators, they can be accused of  ‘being a poor sport’, or worse. Such accusations are often levelled to mask what is going on and can seriously undermine the victim’s confidence.

The book is part of a series called The Simple approach and that is exactly what you get; easily understood practical and simple advice in a small, compact and reasonably priced package. Currently the books cost £6.99 and can be ordered through EveryWoman’s web site.

Managing Change Tip

List ten changes that have happened in your life, over which you had little control. For example, you probably had to leave school at a certain age. Or your firm downsized. Or your industry became flooded with new technology (print, photography). Maybe your personal life went into freefall. But don’t only focus on negative change experiences, look for the positives too.

Now, consider your list. You have survived all those changes and are probably much better at dealing with change than you may think. What skills and qualities do you have that have helped you in the past, and will help you in the future?

It can be really helpful to do this exercise with a friend and share stories and ideas. And please do share any of your own tips!

If you want to be sure of getting all the tips in the series, why not sign up for the updates to be delivered straight to your in box. You can simply fill in your email in the box at top right of this page. And if you’d like to subscribe to my free newsletter there is more information here.

I work in a lot of organisations who are undergoing change and the initial response is nearly always the same. Employees feel threatened and anxious, sickness levels go up, productivity suffers. And the toll on individuals can be enormous.

That’s the downside. But don’t forget change can also be hugely positive! It’s hard to remember that when change is being imposed but you will probably have had as many positive experiences of change in your life as negative ones. It’s just that we remember the negative ones so much more clearly!

If you are experiencing a lot of uncertainty in your personal life, a change at work over which you have no control can be the final straw. The Holmes and Rahe stress scale is still a useful guide to thinking about the impact more change might have on you.

Managing Change Tip

My first tip is to take a look at it, see how you rate and then take steps to look after yourself. It might be that you join up with a friend to help and support each other, or make sure you are eating healthily and look after yourself physically. Or find out what is on offer in your organisation to help you – mentoring, counselling, even subsidised gym membership!

Resolve now not to be a victim of the changes but take some control where you can.

This is the first in a series on managing change. If you want to be certain of getting every post you can sign up for them simply by putting your email address in box at top of this page. And you can unsubscribe at any time.