Make Hay – the Sun is Shining!

Today the sun was shining as I drove to an appointment. I have a convertible car but it has been such gloomy weather wise that I’ve got used to keeping the lid on.

So I clambered in and started the engine and was about to pull away. And then I noticed that the sun was shining. And that everything looked just a bit better bathed in a golden light. And that it lifted my spirits.

I’m often a bit wimpy about taking off the roof on the way to meetings as it does tend to leave me looking a bit bedraggled. And lately the weather has been so unpredictable here in the West of England that a sudden deluge was not out of the question.

But how often does the sun shine enough to drive with the lid off?

So I took the lid off and sat mindfully for a moment for a two relishing the warmth and the fact that no rain was falling. No point in worrying about rain that had yet to fall.

And I arrived at my appointment looking a bit windswept. But I didn’t care.

Sometimes you just have to take the lid off in life. Don’t you?

Banish Anxious Thoughts!

If you want to alter your mood from anxious to serene, try seeing whatever has made you feel out of sorts from a new perspective.

Relax for a few moments, allow your body to release tension, notice your breathing, and try whichever of these is appropriate for you:

• Feeling overwhelmed by problems? Just for a moment visualise your body encased in a beautiful soft bubble, protecting you and giving you a break from life’s cares. Really conjure up the image in your mind’s eye. Rest there for a moment gathering strength to go on with your day.
• Listen to how you are talking to yourself, your inner dialogue. Are you slow and monosyllabic? Or fast and manic? Whatever your inner voice is, consciously make it do the opposite for a while. Make sure your inner voice is talking kindly to you, not criticising.
• If you are angry with someone, or someone is angry with you and you can’t remedy the situation just yet, imagine their face looking benign, happy and smiling kindly. Conjure up the image of them in your head of you and them together and all being well.
• If someone scares you, or produces feelings of anxiety within you, imagine them feeling the same way. Everyone has moments of anxiety and feelings of inferiority from time to time. Visualise your difficult person having such a moment and in your mind extend compassion to them.

Thinking in pictures, visualising, is a very powerful way of giving yourself a mental boost. It won’t solve your problems but it will help you see them in a new light, and help you relax for a short while. And if you find it difficult, just remember a time when you felt really happy and conjure images of that in your brain. There are Three Coaching Questions here which will also help.

Relax – Just Breath

Try this as the long week end bank holiday approaches in the U.K.

Take yourself to a quiet spot.

Close your eyes.

Let out a much longer breath than useful.

Notice your breathing for a few moments.

Imagine now, as you take a new fresh breath in, that it is filling with you a beautiful energy. Make it coloured it if you want, your favourite colour.

And as you breathe out imagine all the cares of the week going with it.

Smile.

Have a great week end!

Put Away Childish Things

It’s funny how some things stay with us forever, isn’t it? When I was at school each term began and finished with St Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, from the King James Bible, which contains these words:

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.  For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.  And now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

The religious aspect had little impact on me but the words and their meaning have always stayed with me. Little did I realise then how often they would resonate with my coaching many, many years later! U.S. President Obama also used them in his inaugural speech.

Impact of Stress

What I have learned through both experience and study since the 40 plus years since I first heard those words, is that when we are under stress of any sort, like a change imposed upon us, we sometimes resort to those childish things. We revert to comforting ways of behaving from our past, whether they are helpful to us or not.

So my coaching questions to you are:

What behaviours from your childhood are still helpful to you? (It might be a way of comforting yourself, your ability to make friends, how you learn new things and build your confidence)

What is it now helpful to jettison for once and for all? (It might be the equivalent of temper tantrums- anger you can’t always control, comfort eating, holding grudges, sulking)

What prism do you view the world through, your’ glass, darkly’?

And does love play a big enough part in your life?

Take Time to Unwind

Do you sometimes find it hard to relax and unwind? If so, give this is a try:

Think of three words that mean relaxation to you. They might not mean relaxing to anyone else, just to you.

For example, I might say ‘gardening’ as I can find that extremely relaxing. However, I can say with 100% certainty that word would have the opposite of the desired effect on my partner – he’d break out in a cold sweat at he thought of the torrent of requests coming from me to shift earth etc! ‘Golf’ would probably do it for him!

So choose three words that conjure up calmness, relaxation and tranquility for you. They might be colours, or even words you find particularly soothing because you like the sound.

Now, just be aware of you breathing for a moment. Simply notice how you are breathing. Breathe out fully and then take a breath in more deeply than normal. Let this breath out slowly, repeating  one of the words in your head. Breath normally for a minute and then repeat with the remaining two words.

You can take a few minutes to do this at your desk any time you feel the stresses coming on, and it could be a really good way of ending your working day, helping you to leave work behind you!

What helps you relax and unwind?

Surviving the Festivities! Tip 11

Breathing is Good for You!

If you feel yourself getting a little het up or stressed, try out this very quick tension reliever:

1) Sit down

2) Close your eyes

3) Breathe out one longer breath than normal (count during a normal out breath then make this one a few counts longer- but don’t hyperventilate or make yourelf feel uncomfortable. that would be totally missing the point….)!

4) Breathe normally for a few breaths. Enjoy the sensation of resting your eyes.

5) Breathe out a longer breath again. This is having the effect of helping you take more air into your lungs and breathe more deeply without over breathing.

6) Repeat this twice more. It shouldn’t take more than a couple of minutes.

7) Carry on as normal, but hopefully a little more refreshed!