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Why Young Women Need Mentors

Written by Jane 1 Comment

Yet another *report is published saying woman’s lack of confidence is a barrier to career success. One of the conclusions is that girls need to be encouraged to think about leadership and management at an early age. I was very lucky; at age 17 I was the very first female chair of Young girlthe Medway School’s Council, an event so unusual in 1975 that it made the papers. I am so very grateful to the teacher that encouraged me to take part where I gained invaluable experience and confidence.

A few very simple questions for you today:

  • What can you do to develop and support the next generation?
  • Is there a young woman in your office who might benefit from your wisdom and support?
  • Do you have a mentoring scheme at work? Is yes, are you part of it? If no, could you suggest one?
  • If you run your own business can you make time to help and support young women?

If you are involved in mentoring and supporting the next generation please do tell us how.

Thinking of expanding your training business? I can help you. To find out more, click here.

*Chartered Institute of Management-Women in Leadership March 2013

Check out Role Models for Women – does it matter?

Photo by Joe Zlomek

Confidence, Motivation

Feminists of all Genders, Please Sign Here – No More Page 3

Written by Jane 5 Comments

There is a very interesting feminist campaign happening at the moment and it feels like its time has come. I’m writing this post to urge you to support it.

What feels like hundreds of years ago a British member of parliament Claire Short made public her opposition to degrading pictures of women in the press. In particular page three of The sun which had become synonymous with topless women. As soon as you opened the paper you were confronted with a thrusting pair of bosoms, sometimes implausibly large and cosmetically enhanced or photoshopped. It led the way for female nudity to be used in a titilliating manner in newspapers. Not porn mags, but NEWSpapers freely available to all and seen by children on a daily basis. The Sun still has page three in 2012.

Claire Short was vilified by the popular press and even some of the quality newspapers couldn’t resist the urge to poke fun at her ‘uptightness’ at wanting to spoil some ‘harmless fun’. The mauling she got was appalling. I can do no better than repeat her own words given in an interview to The Independent newspaper in 2004:

“In 1986, I stood up in the Commons to introduce my 10-minute rule Bill to take pornographic pictures out of newspapers. I committed to this proposal in early 1986 when Winston Churchill, the then Tory MP for Davyhulme, and the grandson of the wartime leader, introduced an Obscene Publications Bill.

It was a terrible Bill. It listed a series of images that would be treated as obscene whenever and wherever they were printed, a list which included scenes of horrific violence as well as a variety of descriptions of sexual activity. Its effect would have been to endanger much war reporting, many illustrations in medical textbooks and much sex education material.

I responded with an unrehearsed speech opposing the Bill, but saying that we could introduce more tightly drawn legislation, for example, to remove the degrading images of women as available sex objects that were circulated in the mainstream of society through the tabloid press.

The speech led to an avalanche of enthusiastic letters from women and my decision to introduce a Bill to remove such pictures from newspapers. This has led to a healthy debate about the difference between sexual openness and pornographic degradation, but also to a vicious campaign of vilification of me by The Sun.

This campaign was renewed with great vigour after I left the Government in 2003. A woman journalist asked me at a lunch whether I was still opposed to Page 3. I said I was, and this led to busloads of Page 3 girls parked outside my house all day in the hope of setting up embarrassing photos, and mock-up pictures of me as a very fat Page 3 girl.

They even sent half-dressed people to the house I share with my 84-year-old mother in Birmingham and had people hiding in cars and chasing me down the street in an effort to get embarrassing photographs. I deal with such attacks by not looking at the paper, but it is oppressive to have a double-decker bus plastered with Sun posters outside the front door from seven in the morning. In the afternoon, I rang the police to ask whether traffic restrictions applied to The Sun, and they were eventually moved on.

It is hard not to conclude that The Sun sets out to frighten anyone who might dare to agree that such pictures should be removed from newspapers. It was suggested to me after The Sun’s 2003 campaign by a Westminster journalist of long experience that The Sun’s attacks should be seen as an issue of privilege; an attempt to bully and intimidate an MP to prevent them from raising issues in the House. The Clerk of the House, whom I consulted, agreed there was an issue to raise; however, the Speaker did not agree and I did not take it further.

My own conclusion about the Page 3 phenomenon, and the subsequent proliferation of pornographic-style images across the media, together with the offensive burden of offers of pornography and Viagra that have to be cleared daily from our e-mail systems, is that we need to push back this ugly coarsening and degradation of our society. I bow to no one in my respect for John Stuart Mill’s On Liberty, but I do not believe that inappropriate sexually provocative imagery, plastered across society, is an example of liberty. I also find it very sad that the degraded Sun has been courted so strongly and shown so many favours by Tony Blair and the spin merchants at No 10.”

Reading that still makes me want to spit feathers. Now in 2012 another campaign has sprung up to stop the daily degrading pictures of women in The Sun. And at the time of writing it has almost 17500 supporters. Will you be one of them?

If you want to stop this practice which demeans both women and men, and sends confusing and mixed messages about feminity, about what real women are, about respect for women, to our youth of both genders then I urge you to sign. Simply click this link and add your name.

The campaign was started by Lucy Ann Holmes and you can follow and support her on Twitter here . And here’s a video for you from Lucy herself. You might also be interested in Role Models for Women, Does it Matter?

Thinking of expanding your training business? I can help you. To find out more, click here.

 

Gender Issues

Do Women Need Role Models?

Written by Jane 0 Comments

There was a lot of debate just before Christmas about the lack of any women on the BBC Sports Personality of the Year (Read this from the Guardian by Jeanette Kwakye, a British Sprinter). Does it matter or is it just a case of women whining about nothing much?

I think it does matter and it matters a lot. It particularly matters to young women of any ethnicity if they never see anyone in the public eye of their gender or culture. In fact, it probably matters to society as a whole. We all need role models.

Research

A recent University of Massachusetts Amherst study found having academic contact with female professionals in science, technology, engineering and maths (STEM) can have positive influences on students—female students in particular. For girls and young women studying these subjects in school, being able to identify female role models helps them imagine themselves as STEM professionals. The role models enhance their perceptions of such careers and boost their confidence in studying such subjects.

Similarly there has been a lot of national angst about the lack of male teachers in primary schools and the desirability for young boys to have male role models. Because it matters to all of us. Seeing people like us achieving spurs us on to achieve for ourselves. The messages sent out by role models are strong and powerful.

Media

During the Christmas period I had one of those, have I woken up in the 1950s? moments. I was lying in bed, relishing not having to be anywhere in particular with BBC radio gently playing in the background (I am an addict). I wasn’t especially listening to the content, just the comforting voices of Justin Webb and Evan Davis, my favourite combination. After a while I realised that I hadn’t heard any female voices at all; not a presenter (they have 5 presenters and 1 is a woman, the excellent Sarah Montague), not forecasting the weather, and not as a contributor. Eventually of course a woman’s voice was heard but I think she was preceded by about an hour of men talking (Newsnight by the way, is generally much better at finding a more representative mix to talk on serious topics – kudos to them).

I tweeted the adorable Evan and asked about it. He replied that they had 2 guest editors coming up who were women, (they were good; I managed to be fully awake for them) but it isn’t really the point.

Similarly with other festive TV. Of the quizzes or comedy panels I watched some didn’t even manage to muster one token women and were totally male. Of those that did the men always outnumbered the women. Always. It’s very obvious in comedy (by the way, look out for an interview with Lynne Parker who runs Funny Women soon.) I can’t believe that the viewing public don’t think women are funny (thinking immediately of Ab Fab and Sarah Millican) or that there aren’t female comics out there available for panel shows!

So come on media folks, the BBC in particular. You are funded by the viewing public so do your best to represent ALL of the viewing public, particularly on serious current affairs programmes. I’m not saying every programme should have a 50/50 split, or that I don’t enjoy the male contributors, I do. But I do believe that our national broadcaster should make a huge effort to be representative. It matters, it really does matter.

If you enjoyed this post you may also like Women, where’s your ambition?

PS MY Twitter name is @JaneCWoods if you care to join in the discussions any time!

 

Communication, Gender Issues

8 Key Strategies for Women Number 2 – Role Models

Written by Jane 0 Comments

This is the second in my mini series following on from the work of Joanna Walvoort (see Eight Key Strategies for Women’s Advancement)

Four strategies stood out as being of particular significance in helping women advance their careers in Walvoort’s survey: networking, role models, confidence and knowledge of strengths. I looked at women’s networking in a previous post; today role models come under the spotlight!

What is a Role Model?

At my 50th birthday party my beautiful, sassy, intelligent and independent daughter stood up and called me her role model. Pride oozed from every pore. So, I am a role model! And you probably are too!

This is the definition from the American Heritage Dictionary:

A person who serves as an example of the values, attitudes, and behaviors associated with a role. For example, a father is a role model for his sons. Role models can also be persons who distinguish themselves in such a way that others admire and want to emulate them. For example, a woman who becomes a successful brain surgeon or airline pilot can be described as a role model for other women.

You’d better get looking for those succesful female brain surgeons and airline pilots! Presumably inadvertently, this definition also encapsulates the idea that women have to do everything better than men – the guy can be a role model to his son by being a good father; the women has to reach the (literally) dizzy heights of airline pilot or brain surgeon! Oh my!

A role model is someone who is doing what we’d like to do, or has skills and attributes we’d like to have, someone we can look up to. We don’t even have to know them as long as there is enough information in the public domain for us to know about them. Role models are important as we grow up, giving us an anchor amidst the uncertainty of burgeoning adulthood. (I’m not going to get sidetracked into a rant about unsuitable female role models here…) But role models for women are important as we move on in our careers too.

Choosing a Role Model

In the realm of work, having a figure who has many of the traits you aspire to can be motivating and encouraging. If there is no one in your workplace with whom you identify you are literally ploughing your own furrow or blazing a trail, or any other metaphor you can think of!

Which can be a problem for women moving into senior roles as there are too few women in senior roles… Seeing a woman on the board sends out a very powerful message to other women. Yay, someone has done it, it can be done! But this scarcity presents other problems too. Some early successful women could only get to these positions by adopting male behaviour traits; they had to be more like the men than the men were. That’s not my idea of a successful role model for women.

You may have to look outside of your industry for a good role model, or at least outside of your organisation. Think broadly. You may read about successful women, (incidentally, that is one of the reasons I have my Inspirational Women section on the site; I have a broad cross section of careers and backgrounds so you’re bound to find someone who inspires you!). Or perhaps social media will help. I have found Linkedin to be a brilliant resource for professional women, especially if you join groups with relevence to you.

Can a Man be a Role Model for a Woman?

Yes, of course! My first manager was someone whom I strove to emulate when I began managing staff; I loved his calm and approachable style and he was not macho at all. I suspect I even stroked my beard on occasion! (For purposes of clarity, he had a beard, I didn’t. But I have nothing against women with beards, fine by me.)

You need to be clear about what you are looking for in a role model. And there are men in the public eye whom I much admire who may have some of these traits. But as I began to develop in my management career I wanted to see women in the power stream.  I didn’t want to manage like a man. I wanted to be true to myself.

Questions for Finding A Role Model

Try answering the following questions:

  • How may senior women are there in my organisation? How many women above middle or second tier management.
  • How senior are they? In the top three? At the top of the organisation?
  • If not my organisation, which organisations in a similar field have senior women?
  • What are the qualities I admire in a senior manager/chief executive/ successful entrepreneur, etc?
  • How can I find out more these women? Through social media perhaps? Do I need to network more?
  • How can I turn those qualities into practical achievable steps for my career plan?
  • What difference would having a female role model make to me? (Walvoort’s research revealed women at an early stag eof their career felt they would greatly benefit from female role models).
  • What are my aspirations in this company? This profession?
  • What are the areas I need to develop within myself?
  • Who are my current female role models? Don’t limit yourself to business; one of my favourite women is Dolly Parton!

Role models can be a significant factor in helping you advance your career. In future posts I’ll be covering the remaining two – confidence and knowledge of strengths. Meantime, please let me know who has most inspired you to greatness!

Courses for Women

If you are seriously considering investing in your career you may be interested to know I have two courses for women running this autumn. Do take a look; one may be just right for you! RenewYou is in Bristol and Speak Up! is in beautiful Bath. Call me if you’d like to discuss how appropriate they might be for you! 01761 438749. Always happy to talk to women.

Career Tips for Women, Gender Issues

Age and Women – are older women coming out of hiding?

Written by Jane 8 Comments

I’ve been a bit quieter than normal watching TV lately. It’s not that I usually make a lot of noise with heavy breathing or anything; more that I can’t help shouting out at the screen as yet another impossible ideal of womanhood appears alongside some ageing guy. You know what I mean, an expressionless face and tight skin and ones who disappear from view when they turn sideways!

I’m not blaming the women; I understand the way the world works for most women in the public eye. Femageism rules. If you want to keep working you’ve got to play the game. Unless you’re Helen Mirren or Judi Dench or the marvellous Meryl Streep (she hasn’t has plastic surgery has she?); they manage to age gracefully and still have work!

More Older Women

But there seems to have been something of a quiet revolution and as I bang on loudly about the sexism in TV and radio when I see it, in all fairness I must bang on about this too. Whisper it, but there has been some tiny changes that give a long time feminist like me a cause to smile.

Newsnight on BBC 2 takes my top prize. It frequently is produced and presented by women and doesn’t seem to suffer from the fate of many shows of only being able to find a token woman. It regularly features loads of clever, intelligent and articulate women of all ages on all topics, there by merit. Well done Newsnight! You’re my number one!

Julia Somerville BBC Newsreader

And then there’s Julia back on our screens. I don’t read celebrity type stories usually so somehow the furore about her appointment passed me by (I have seen it now when I Googled her to check her age). What a pleasant surprise that was to switch on the news and see it read by someone who who was over 60 and female! Of course, she shouldn’t stand out, but at the moment she does. But I’m not going to whinge - just give us more women like Julia!

Bridesmaids

It’s not confined to the small screen either. Bridesmaids is a very funny and feminist film (yes it is possible) starring a motley group of women of all shapes and sizes and ages. All shapes and sizes! And it’s not a matter of comment, it’s not even really mentioned in the film. They are just fairly looking ordinary women. In a major film. Not playing sidekicks or decoration to men. Amazing. And very funny, go see it (but not if you are easily offended: it’s ‘earthy’!)

Why Older Ordinary Women?

Never underestimate the power of an image. It matters. If you’re old enough, think back about 25 years. If I had been walking down the street and a passenger bus passed me driven by a woman I’d have fallen over in shock.

Similarly if I had turned up at my local C of E church for a wedding and a woman appeared in a chasuble and a stole and a dog collar to conduct the service,  I’d have been looking round for the hidden Candid Camera (although some folk are still spluttering in their dry sherry over that one!)

We need female role models and we need to be educated. If we never see older, able and competent women on TV doing the same things as men, (or bringing their own take to it), we’ll never break the stereotyping. And it doesn’t work with just one. One women on a board, or one black face in a company. That’s tokenism and that poor soul has to bear the weight of representing everything about their race or gender and are not seen as individuals. If they fail it merely serves to reinforce the stereotyping and prejudice.

So bring it on! Lets see more of this and celebrate all aspects and all ages and all creeds of humanity!

Who is your favourite role model in the public eye?

 

Confidence, Gender Issues

Karen J. Pine – Inspirational Woman!

Written by Jane 0 Comments

Karen Pine is a professor of Psychology at the University of Hertfordshire where she teaches Developmental Psychology to Psychology undergraduates, Masters students and DClinPsy trainees. And she also writes very accessible books for the rest of us, two of which have featured in the pages of this site, Sheconomics and The No Diet (do something different) Diet Book. A lot of her work is of particular interest to women so I’m very pleased to bring you this interview with her. Read and enjoy!

Jane: Karen, you are now a successful and high profile psychologist, but what did the young Karen want to be? What was your dream job?
Karen: I didn’t have a clear plan as a youngster! I had a place to go to Uni and at 18 I took a ‘gap’ year that turned into a gap-fifteen-years! I worked in advertising and PR and loved having the chance to communicate ideas. Even all these years later I love the chance to talk or write about my psychology research.

Did you have a traditional academic career? Was academia always your goal?
An academic career wasn’t even on my radar. But when I stopped work in my early thirties and had kids I became fascinated by human behaviour and development. That’s when I decided it was time to go to Uni and study Psychology. Psychology wasn’t even an A level option when I was at school so if I’d gone to Uni straight from school I’d have studied English. I think we know ourselves better when we’re older and I feel it was the right time for me to go. Maybe I was a late developer!

Most of us think somewhere we have a book lurking within but you’ve actually published three and have another due out in 2011. How did that very first book deal come about?
My husband, Ben, (he’s also a psychology professor) and I had been doing some research into people’s behavioural flexibility. We found (by accident almost!) a link between a person’s behavioural flexibility and their BMI (Body Mass Index). So we figured if we could make people with a high BMI more flexible [and less habitual] they might lose weight.

We did some trials and it worked. Everyone lost weight. And we didn’t even have to mention food; it was all about breaking people free from the lifestyle habits that led to them over-eating. When we presented the findings at a British Psychological Society conference there was a lot of media interest and the book deal followed soon after. The No Diet Diet is now published in 23 languages worldwide.

Part of your research field is around communication with infants. What has been one of the most significant things you have discovered about communication with babies?
I’m fascinated by what we communicate non-verbally and have been researching children’s gestures for around ten years. A few years ago one of my lovely students, Liz Kirk, started to look at the effects of BabySign for her PhD. BabySign companies say they have ‘scientific evidence’ that gesturing to infants improves their language development and has other rather amazing benefits. Yet we couldn’t find much scientific evidence to support their claims and what there was was, frankly, a bit dodgy!! So Liz ran the first longitudinal random controlled trial into the effects of babysign on language development.

After years of painstaking research (by Liz) we found the infants who had babysign were no more advanced than the ones who didn’t! In another study we found the mums who went to babysign classes were even more stressed than those who went to other mother and baby classes. So none of the companies’ claims had any credibility!

I feel strongly about this research, not just because it’s scientifically robust but because there are loads of commercial businesses who try to persuade mums to ‘hot-house’ their babies. These prey on anxious mums who want to do the best for their babies and feel inadequate if they’re not taking them to classes from a week old, giving them violin lessons and speaking to them in at least 3 languages! I want mums to feel confident that what they do naturally, i.e. talk to, care for and love their babies, it’s all a baby really needs. Then they can relax and tune out all the other stuff!

Having said that we have found gesturing helps infants who are at risk of language delay and Liz is now doing some great work helping disadvantaged, low-income, poorly educated mums to communicate with their babies. This mainly means switching off the telly and speaking to them from an early age, using songs, rhymes and actions – and lots of hugs and smiles of course!

When we have careers that are also our hobbies and passion it can be difficult to switch off. How do you maintain a good work/home balance, particularly in view of the fact that you have co authored books with your partner?
Ben and I do work together but that’s wonderful, we share our minds, our ideas and are each other’s stimulation and inspiration. We don’t have a TV so we have lots of time to nurture our relationship, our minds and our interests. We love quirky art and have a mad home! We live in a beautiful part of the country, on a private estate, surrounded by fields and woodland and a gorgeous garden. We enjoy films and do Tai Chi, Ben is a keen runner and I also trot out there now and again. We prioritise good living, and that includes cooking fantastic food, enjoying wine, culture, reading and listening to a wide range of music. We also love going to talks, lectures and art events in London.

But we do spend a lot of time working and talking and developing our ideas. Our Do Something Different technique is now taking us into all sorts of businesses, countries and communities and it’s really exciting, intellectually, to go on this journey together and see the impact our work is having on others.

Have you ever experienced discrimination because of your gender? Is it less of an issue in the academic world? Do you think this is still an issue for women today?
When I worked in advertising my boss left – he was a manager – and at just 22 I was given his job. But I was given the title of ‘supervisor’ instead of ‘manager’! I was a bit irked at the time but I accepted it. Now I’d kick up a stink. The academic world is a tough one but there’s less discrimination if you’re prepared to work hard and to stand your ground if faced with discriminatory attitudes.

Who are you role models? Who has most inspired you, academically/professionally, and personally?
I am inspired by people who are individualists and who shun mediocrity, Vivien Westwood is a great example! I find ordinariness intolerable and really admire strong, independent, even eccentric people (women especially) who aren’t afraid to stand out and don’t give a toss what people think.

My main inspiration though is Ben, We’ve been together for nearly 7 years and in that time I’ve learned such a lot about myself. He is an amazing thinker and an incredible person, I’ve never known anyone so psychologically sound – and he has a great brain and a wonderful sense of style! He has inspired me to grow as a person and, whereas I’ve always been the major player in past relationships, he continually ‘adds’ to me and makes sure I realise my potential. Most of my significant achievements have been since I met him. That’s not to downplay my own capabilities, of course, but it’s great to have someone who really makes sure you continue to stretch yourself, otherwise we can become a bit dormant! He doesn’t believe in ageing either, which I find a great bonus now!

Mistakes are part of life and learning. What has been the best mistake you ever made?
Probably not going to University at 18. It wasn’t the right time for me then and I’m glad I went later. We can go to Uni at any age and some of the mature students I’ve taught have been the keenest students who get the best results!

What has been the most useful piece of advice or help, you have ever been given?
Wow, there’s so much! I learned quite late in life that being a ‘people pleaser’ doesn’t pay. I think women, especially, are conditioned to please others and I wish I’d cultivated a more selfish streak early on. I also read a few years ago ‘Half the people you meet won’t like you anyway so stop trying to please them’ and am now much less concerned about what people think of me than I was when I was younger. Also as a psychologist I now know that worrying about what people think of us is futile – most of the time they’re not thinking of us at all! Other people are probably more preoccupied with what we think of them! This insight has given me huge confidence and I can happily go and do public speaking in front of an audience of hundreds of people and quietly tell myself they’re lucky to have me!

Also, my Dad was a fantastic ‘do-er’ and a great motivator and that means I’m really efficient and can crack on and get things done. I don’t have much time for people who procrastinate. My philosophy is ‘You don’t have to get it right, you just have to get it going’ – so give me a job to do and I’m right on it!

Since knowing Ben I’ve also come to appreciate the importance of self-responsibility. He embodies it and it’s a fantastic life-skill to know that you can effect the changes you want, that we are not victims but are architects of our own lives and our destiny. Too many people believe luck, religion, fate or even bonkers horoscopes will guide them, whereas the only thing determining your future is you. One of mine and Ben’s favourite sayings is ‘If you want to predict the future, invent it’. We actually write all our key sayings on our dining room ceiling! Together they look like a work of art and are a constant reminder of how life should be lived.

Women tend to undervalue themselves, i.e. in not asking for higher salaries, only applying for promotion once they know current job inside out, underselling their achievements at interview and so on. As a psychologist, what advice would you give someone who has an issue with blowing their own trumpet?
This is fascinating isn’t it? Men just think they have to ask for a rise, women think they have to earn it and work hard until somebody notices them. I would say, even if you don’t feel confident on the inside, act confident on the outside and people will believe in you.

As the festive season approaches in the western world and we women go into overdrive, (most of us) what’s your top tip for relaxing and keeping a sense of perspective?
Don’t say Yes to anything that you don’t want to do. And don’t say No to anyone who offers a helping hand!

If you could invent/change/ one thing to improve the quality of your life, what would it be?
OK, this is going to sound dead smug but I am convinced that living the ‘Do Something Different’ philosophy that we advocate means that the quality of my life is always going to be optimal. After all, I’m the one who’s responsible for it, aren’t I?

Karen, thank you so much! It’s been great talking with you – you certainly live by your philosophy and I know your words will inspire others to do something different!

Inspirational Women

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