How To Get People to Do What You Want!

Research into the psychology of missed appointments (doctors, dentists etc) has discovered it really doesn’t pay to be negative when trying to change behaviour.

Traditionally notices in waiting rooms read something like:

Last month we had 39 missed appointments which cost the surgery over £800 and wasted valuable time which could have been used by others. Please let us know if you are unable to attend.

These notices had no discernible effect on getting people to do what they wanted. However, when they changed their notices to something like:

Last month 90% of patients kept their appointment with us. Thank you so much!

they found that the number of missed appointments fell by 30%! Positive messages reinforcing that keeping an appointment is just normal had a very positive effect!

They also used two other methods which worked. In a non patronising way they got patients to repeat back the date of their appointment, i.e. say it out loud, and also to write it down themselves. Again this meant significantly fewer people missed appointments; they changed their behaviour.

Positive Thinking

I am not surprised at all. We know that telling someone of our intentions helps reinforce them in our minds, and that writing something down helps us do it. Which is why on my courses I encourage women to share their goals and then to write them down.

A Positive Change Exercise

Try it for yourself.

1) Write down what you’d like to achieve in the next four weeks: be realistic about how much is feasible.

2) Share your aims with a friend, talk about how you’re going to do it and add in the details.

3) Pay serious attention to the messages you give yourself. Your ‘spam’. Are these of the ‘we lost masses of money because you couldn’t be bothered to keep your appointment’ variety, or are they the encouraging ‘ way hey, brilliant you! The surgery is working well because of your efforts and consideration for others’ ? Think about it. What Way hey message would positively reinforce your good intentions?

4) Imagine yourself, in your mind’s eye, having accomplished all you want to do. Just take a few moments each day to visualise yourself being hugely successful at making those positive changes. Feeling good? Hang on to that feeling!

If you’ve enjoyed this post you might also like Three Questions for Helpful Thinking. What’s your best tip for achieving your goals?

Do You Say ‘Thank You’ Enough?

I have recently returned from the US where I flew with United Airlines. On our return flight there was a problem with our ticket. It was entirely our fault as there was a time discrepancy between out itinerary and the actual ticket! We arrived after our flight had left- mea culpa!

But thanks to the excellent guy on the check in desk it was no problem at all. He was calm and extremely helpful and got us on the plane we thought we were catching with the minimum of fuss and embarrassment. We thanked him profusely and he said, not at all, we had been lovely customers! Not only did he sort us out but he managed to compliment us in the process!

Remember Your Thank Yous!

I have just written to United Airlines thanking them for the excellent service we received, but I nearly forgot to do it. I was actually on Twitter talking about how good they had been when I realised I hadn’t actually told the airline! And it reminded me how much longer lasting our memory of bad experiences can be and how quick we are to share the negative stuff.

Which is not an argument for never complaining about bad service, but a reminder to acknowledge all the good experiences too.

Saying thank you sincerely and often matters. We all need to get some positive reinforcement when we do a job well, help someone, show kindness, whatever job we have and whatever status we are. Every parent knows the value of rewarding the behaviour we want to see more of in our children, and this principle holds true whatever age we are.

So, in that spirit,  who is deserving of your thanks today?