What have Nigel Havers & Jane C Woods in Common?
Well, for one, Nigel has a soft spot for Bath and two, he loves the Royal Crescent Hotel! Just like me!
Said Nigel in a recent Bath Magazine interview:
“When I want to treat myself I go to The Royal Crescent Hotel – they have a spa to die for.”
That ‘to die for’ spa is the one you’ll be experiencing if you take up this truly amazing offer.
In conjunction with the world famous Royal Crescent Hotel I am launching my superb new course for professional women this November. The hotel is hugely supportive of local business and has been very welcoming to Changing People. It really is the most fantastic venue – only the best for my clients! Just see what you’ll be getting!
Speak Up Course Itinerary
Your Speak Up experience will begin on Sunday afternoon when you check in to the world famous 5 star hotel at around 3pm. There is valet parking for guests. If you can, do arrive early so you can take a stroll around the glorious city of Bath and take in the world famous Bath Christmas Market. Professional development and a chance to get some Christmas shopping done!
One to One
Each participant will have an hour of one to one personal consultancy looking at your particular professional issues and focussing on your Myers Briggs Type assessment. (If you haven’t done this personality profile before I’ll send you information prior to the course. This is not shared during the course itself; it’s just a tool to help you get the maximum benefit from your day.)
Free Time
The Speak Up experience is a spa for mind and body! The numbers are kept small so everyone is assured of my full attention; when you are not working one to one you are free to make full use of the hotel’s beautiful spa and let the thoughts flow. You’ll receive a brochure detailing all treatments available before the day, or you may just wish to enjoy the pool, or the public rooms of this elegant Georgian hotel.
Dinner Party
At 7pm the group will meet up for a pre dinner drink followed by a three course meal in the Royal Crescent restaurant after which time you can mingle with other participants or hit the town! Bath will be fully lit for Christmas and looking beautiful so you may wish to take an evening stroll.
Monday 28th November
After breakfast we adjourn to our private room to begin work on advancing your career!
Refreshments (hand baked biscuits etc) are served twice during the morning, with Bath buns or scones in the afternoon, so we’ll have a relatively light lunch!
This is what you get:
- one full day of quality training
- all materials including a copy of Jane’s book ’When Work isn’t Working‘
- one to one personal consult with Jane
- a Myers Briggs personality profile
- a follow up copy of my Speak Out downloadable programme (in audio as well as written form and full of new information)
- one hour telephone follow up coaching session to embed the learning from the day
- an overnight stay with drinks reception, 3 course dinner, breakfast, and all refreshments during the course, plus use of the beautiful spa at this luxurious 5* hotel and valet parking
All the above for the amazing introductory price of £689 (plus VAT) (the bonus elements alone are worth £400). Book now to secure your place at this special launch price – it won’t be repeated!
And Nigel? Well, obviously I can’t guarantee his presence but he does have a November birthday….
Why Do You Work?
Why do you work? Often the first response to that is “for the money” but when you dig a little deeper money is rarely the primary motivator, although of course it is a significant factor. Take a few moments to think of 5 reasons why you work.
When money is the main reason for working, it’s often as a means to an end. As in, I’ll do this job I don’t like because it pays well, and stay until I’m in a position to do what I really want. But financial rewards are important and we women are notorious for under valuing ourselves in this area and not always asking for enough. (Latest survey says a 98 year wait for UK women to get equal pay with men – good grief)
Reasons for Working
I sometimes work with groups approaching retirement; one of the questions I ask them is what does work give them? First, with the prospect of a living on a pension looming large in their minds, they always say money. But then some more interesting facts emerge. They enjoy the status of being employed, particularly if in a senior position and they like the companionship. They like the satisfaction of a job well done, of feeling that they count.
Surveys
This is borne out by research into what makes people content at work. People like the opportunity to do what they do well every day, to use their skills; they also like that work to be recognised to be their line managers. In addition they are happy in workplaces where someone takes an interest in their development, and where training and staff development is valued and supported.
If you find yourself in a role where you’re not getting any of things, you may wish to consider moving jobs. If that’s not possible, consider how you might build some of these things into your life by other means. When work isn’t working for you, then you need to take responsibility for managing your own career, because no one cares about it as much as you do. If you haven’t got a good employer, or good line manager, you just have to grab the career reins yourself!
Photo Credit: Valdas Zajanckauskas
Women, Grab a Seat on the Board!
I was recently at a professional development day on empowering women and took the opportunity to attend a seminar focussing on non executive board membership.
I’ve written before about the issue of so few women on boards, (see Why are Women Behind? and Why Can’t Women Speak their Minds in the Boardroom?) and if you’re a regular reader you’ll know I am, with reluctance, in favour of quotas. We need a gender balance on Britain’s boards and I don’t see it changing significantly until legalisation is introduced.
Board Seats for Women
The seminar was fascinating; led by the CEO of a recruitment agency for non executive directors we were told that companies are asking for more and more women on their shortlists. It seems this is a good time for a woman to be looking for a seat on the board. The mere threat of legislation has encouraged traditional boards to cast their net a bit wider.
Which is good news if you’re a woman actively looking for a seat. Update your CV and put yourself out there. Sign up with a recruitment agency or two.
Tokenism
My fear, however, is that this flurry of interest will be short lived and once boards have a women in tow they’ll sit back on their laurels and tick the gender diversity box. And women won’t gain, and nothing much will significantly change as one woman does not a summer make! (Or a change in culture or attitudes.)
Opportunity for Women
But in fairness, it is an opportunity. However, a slight caveat is most boards ask for experience and that type of experience can be hard for women to get, although apparently being a school governor is very good training as is being a trustee of a charity. Another route in is to invest some money in an organisation but according to Chris Spencer-Philips, of First Flight (Placements) Ltd common sense is a real prerequisite, and women have plenty of that!
Speak Up! Empowering Course for Professional Women
If you’re interested in advancing your career, whether you’re aiming for a seat on the board, or to make your way upwards in a largely male dominated world, you may well be interested in my brand new course, Speak up!
Speak Up is Women’s Leadership Training with a difference. It doesn’t teach women how to be like men; instead it works directly with women on how to be strong and powerful communicators who get their point across without being dogmatic, aggressive or disparaged. Learn how to make men listen to you, respect your views, and become an influential figure in your organisation. Advance your career! Invest in your personal and professional development.
This women’s course is launching in November 27th and 28th at the five star Royal Crescent Hotel, Bath. Give me a call on 01761 438749 or email me to find out more or reserve a place. Numbers are strictly limited to ensure everyone gets the maximum benefit.
And if you have any thoughts about women on boards, please share them below.
Photo Credit: Michelle Ho
Why Can’t Women Speak Their Minds in Boardrooms?
Women need to speak up, so says Dr Judith Baxter, an expert in linguistics. Dr Baxter has undertaken a survey in seven major companies, including two in the FTSE-100 as part of an Economic and Social Research Council research project entitled ‘Leadership Talk and Gender in Senior Management Business Meetings in the UK’. A key contention of that project was that women are under represented in leadership roles because, simply put, men and women talk differently. Or less simply put:
One key area we examine is why female leaders continue to be significantly under-represented in the workplace. A 2009 survey commissioned by the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) shows that only 12% of FTSE 100 directors in the UK are women (Sealy, Doldor and Vinnicombe, 2009). While there are many reasons why this occurs – legal, economic and sociological – we contend that one possible reason for the lack of female leaders in the business world is socio-linguistic. That is, women may simply have a harder job than men to be effective through their talk: to be listened to, included in key decisions, taken seriously, and to influence the views of others effectively.
Hear hear! The research actually found that women were FOUR times more likely than men to be self deprecating, use humour and speak indirectly or apologetically when tackling difficult subjects with board members to avoid conflict. Baxter said she had heard one woman director, who had spoken only twice in a meeting, say:
“Sorry, sorry, I’m talking too much, I’m talking too much.”
Dr Baxter believes women use such language because they’re often heavily outnumbered on boards and so use a linguistic ‘second guessing’. I’ve written about this use of apologetic language before in Career Tips for Women but I am surprised to find it prevalent among women in senior posts. Examples include “Sorry to cut across you like that but…” and “I’m probably speaking out of turn, but…” (And previous research shows that both men and women think women talk most in meetings, when researchers have observed that men have talked the most).
Women Talk Differently
This type of language Dr Baxter calls double voice discourse or DVD. It’s the language she observed women using when facing criticism or handling conflict. She acknowledges that there are times when this could be appropriate, or used as a manipulative tool, but notes that this type of language use makes senior women appear weak and defensive. They appear not to be in control and thus less authoritative.
Men were more comfortable with handling conflict, were more direct and didn’t take it personally; not so we women! Women in the survey avoided being confrontational and used a range of strategies to preserve their alliances. There were few differences in the actual language used, she noted, and Dr Baxter did not attribute this strategy to innate altruism in women, on the contrary- “They are doing it to achieve their own agenda“. It’s not a particularly successful strategy, yet it’s one we women use when outnumbered by men.
So it looks like we need to toughen up, to learn to speak our minds clearly and without fear. Being direct is the language men understand and if we want to get ahead we need to at least understand the language of male and plan our strategy accordingly!
Look out for an upcoming interview with Dr Baxter when we’ll hopefully learn more about this research, and importantly strategies for overcoming it! And women, do share how you feel about confrontational situations at work? Do you conform to this findings of this research? Do you recognise some of this either in yourself or colleagues?
If this topic is one close to your heart, come and join me for my brand new course in November 2011, at Bath’s Royal Crescent Hotel. Speak Up, get that seat on the board and be heard!
Change Your Future with This Simple Exercise
When you look back, what will you see? Will you be looking back in anger, sorrow, or joy?
The future is yours to create, right now.
Your Personal Development Exercise
Take a few moments to imagine yourself five or ten years from now. You’re sitting in a cafe, with a friend and you’re both reminiscing. Maybe you have a glass of chilled wine, or a mug of coffee or a cup of tea.
You’re really happy with what you’ve achieved over these last few years. You listen contentedly to your friend describing her life and now it’s your turn. What are you going to say? What do you want to see when you look back and share some significant events in your life? What would make you proud of yourself?
Focus for a few moments on the following key areas in your life and consider what, if anything, you want to change:
- Significant Others?
- Career?
- Where you live?
- Friends or family?
- Places you have visited?
- Hobbies or pastimes?
- Add your own…
What do you have to do now, this week, this month or this year to make those reflections become a reality? To allow yourself to look back in JOY, to be proud, content and fulfilled in your life?
Photo Credit: Ivan Freaner
Can You Stop Feeling Guilty?
‘Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilty and I’ll show you a man’ – Erica Jong
Well, I might take issue with the idea implicit in this that men don’t feel guilt; I know they do. But my experience suggests that we women may hold the record for feeling lots of it in almost every area of our lives! Women are very good at feeling guilty!
I’m not talking about profound and deep seated issues here, which require psychiatric intervention and truly blight lives. That is a complex and much more difficult situation to manage.
I’m talking about the many pangs of guilt we feel, sometimes fleetingly, sometimes continually, every day.
For example, do you feel guilty if:
- You don’t take that phone call from a friend you know will drain you emotionally?
- You skip breakfast and then eat a bagel with cream cheese and a bag of crisps and no fruit?
- You love your work but think you should spend more time with your family?
- You were too tired to listen properly to your partner?
- You hate housework?
- The idea of being a domestic goddess makes you ill but…?
- You don’t weigh in at the ideal weight for your height (not tall enough probably, that’s my excuse)?
- You feel guilty because you keep feeling guilty about things…?
Try ‘The Get Rid of Guilt’ Exercise!
Every time you feel the guilt pang, make a note. How many times in a day do you feel guilty?
Look at your list and try to honestly answer these questions:
Is that guilt yours? By which I mean, have you contravened your moral code, done something you feel ashamed of? Or, as in some of the examples above, have you not lived up to someone else’s’ ideal of what womanhood should be?
And finally, is it an indicator for you of a problem you need to tackle in your life?
I have another favourite quote to share-
‘It’s always better to feel guilty for something you’ve actually done, rather than something you’ve left undone!’
