The No Diet (do something different) Diet Book

I am about to embark upon an experiment and if you’d like to join me I’d love to have you along!

I know so many women who are worried about their weight. I’m most definitely not a diet consultant, and I’ve given up dieting, having finally realised that they never work and you always pile on the weight again! But the topic of weight usually emerges in any informal conversation between women at some point. And for many it is a cause of unhappiness.

The No Diet Book?

So I am fascinated by a book I have stumbled upon which claims that changing your habits can help you reach your ideal weight without ever thinking about food or starving yourself!

Usually I’d consign anything making such claims straight to my ‘nice, but deluded‘ bin. But this one is co written by some pretty respected people (Professor Ben Fletcher, Dr Karen Pine, & Dr Danny Penman). I have already reviewed ‘Sheconomics‘ co-authored by Dr Karen Pine and found it to be full of sound good sense, so I actually bought this book out of curiosity to see what they have to say.

The book is called ‘The No Diet (do something different) Diet Book’ and is based on the premise that by actually doing different things, increasing your flexibility and attitudes towards life, you will actually settle at your optimum weight. Strong stuff! Yet, I sign up to much of what they say and use many of the techniques when working one to one or in my courses to help people make positive life changes. Hmm…

I am halfway through reading the book and not a mention of banned foods or exercise! It’s chock full of some really interesting facts and lots of accessible science.

Trial

Now in all honesty, I can’t tell you whether this book is good bad or indifferent, as I haven’t followed the advice. But I am intrigued enough to try. It contains some straightforward instructions to follow so for once, instead of dispensing the advice, I’m going to try taking it. And I’ll blog most week ends on my progress. For example:

Step 4 – Go for a 15 minute walk. Think about your life and what you want from it.

That’s exactly what I recommend on my courses. In fact, if the weather is fine I encourage participants to go and do just that! The authors have a whole month worth of habit changing tasks to try which they claim will help you change your behaviour around eating:

“To cut a long story short, the results of our research at the University of Hertfordshire boiled down to this: you are overweight because you’re trapped inside a web of habits that prevent you from losing weight permanently. It doesn’t matter how determined you are to lose weight, if you don’t overcome the habits that keep you fat, you will remain forever overweight. Break these habits however, and you will effortlessly lose weight”

The authors recommend trying this out with a friend so you encourage and support each other. If you’d like to try this out with me, you can get the book from most large bookshops, or they’ll order it for you (ISBN is 0 75287-400-4, publisher is Orion) or get it direct via Amazon

And look out for the updates!

How to Stay Motivated When You Hate Your Job? Tip 3

In times of economic downturn people are less likely to move jobs and the market becomes stagnant. This can cause motivation issues even if you love your job (no progression etc), but if you really can’t stand your job…it’s hell! There are a lot of people staying in jobs they’d rather leave. So how can you keep yourself motivated?

In tips one and two we looked at managing feelings, and doing some groundwork on CVs. In tip three I am suggesting that you take some time out to really understand what it is about your current role that you don’t like.

WORK OUT WHY YOU DON’T LIKE IT

Ask yourself the following questions and answer as honestly as you can:

• Is it the attitude of other workers?
• Is it too undemanding of you?
• Is it too much of a stretch for you at the moment?
• Do the value of the organisation jar with your own value system?
• Is it the management style?
• Is it lack of prospects?
• Is it poor pay?
• Is it the office environment?
• Is it the geographical location?

It’s important to understand why this job doesn’t do it for you, so you can be more specific about what you actually do want!

There are more exercises like this in ‘When Work Isn’t Working’., a workbook to help you find your perfect job!

How to Stay Motivated When You Hate Your Job? Tip 1

How can you stay focussed and motivated when you really hate your job? How do you manage work stress?

One of the consequences of the economic recession is less movement in the job markets. People are staying put for fear of  ‘last in, first out syndrome’. And of course, there are fewer jobs out there and more competition for those that are around.

So how do you keep your motivation going? How do you drag yourself out of bed every morning to do a job that you hate? It’s not easy and if you are in this position you have my sympathies. It’s horrid.

Self Pity

But don’t go too far down the self pity route! At least you do have a job and aren’t reliant on benefits. You’re still in the world of work. So my first tip is:

MANAGE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT WORK

If you’ve ever done any of my training, read my articles or my book, (When Work isn’t Working) you’ll know that I firmly believe we need to take control of our feelings, and that we CAN take control of our feelings even when it feels like pretty much everything else is outside of our control!

If you start each day giving yourself a really negative message, your day is only going to get worse. You are what you think. If you think devalued and worthless thoughts about your work it comes across and you feel worse. Whatever else is happening, your thoughts are your own (‘they‘ can’t make you feel anything-honestly!). Decide now to give yourself a positive message every morning that will help you through this period of your life, not one that will bring you down. (Check this out for some confidence boosting tips)

Your Action Points

• Identify your automatic negative thoughts about your work.

• Notice how often you speak to yourself about work in an unhelpful way

• Notice how this makes you feel. Does it make you feel better or worse (I’m not talking about sharing a moan with a pal, that can be therapeutic!)

• How can you change your negative internal mail into something that will help you through this period of your life?

• Try replacing all negative thoughts with positive ones for one week. What difference has this made to your week?

This is the first in a series of tips to help you through difficult times; if you have found it helpful you might like to receive my newsletter -just sign up in the blue box opposite the picture. And please do share this with others and add your own tips and hints! It’s great to get your comments!

Inspirational Women – Gee Backhouse

Gee Backhouse is a creator of beautiful jewellery who now lives and works in France with her husband, Chris, and two dogs. She makes a very specialist type of jewellery, tiny compasses cast in precious metals. Beautiful.

Jane: Gee, you live what many women would call the dream life! How do you now make your living?
Gee: I am a goldsmith which means I work specifically with gold and other precious stones and metal. I design and make jewellery and specialise in creating unique compass jewellery.

Calling it the dream life is pretty accurate as I live in a very sunny part of the world, find my work absorbing and am my own boss. I also get to go on gemstone buying sprees which makes me one of the luckiest people in the world. Sweeties for grown-ups.

When you were at school did you have any career thoughts? Did you follow a traditional path, go onto college, or get out into the world of work very quickly?
My career thoughts were that, if I were going to be independent, I needed one! I didn’t have a clue about what I wanted to do, so struggled with how I could possibly choose what to study at A-level. In the end, with good qualifications and the drive to succeed, I studied Computer Studies at degree level.

As a female student, who’d also sneaked in a year earlier than her contemporaries, studying in a male dominated arena was quite a challenge. In spite of having been under the watchful eye of the tutors, I achieved a distinction and came out with results in the top 5%.

What was your very first job? Do you remember how much you got paid?
I started out as a programmer in 1987 working for a company in the private sector. My pay was £7,500 a year. It was a great company to work for; varied work with the space and encouragement to use your initiative. The people were interesting and there was a definite feeling of unity.

What has been the worst job you’ve ever had? With hindsight, what were the lessons you took from it?
Working for a huge organisation as an Analyst/Programmer on a colossal project with no particular visibility was dull dull dull. Oh yes, and there was a strong political undercurrent, too. Yuk. The lesson I learned from that little escapade was that, in an interview situation, the communication needs to be 2-way. My finding out about whether I’m going to like the job is just as important as the interviewer’s assessment of whether I have the right experience and qualifications.

What does jewellery making do for you?
Running my own jewellery making business does several things for me. It allows me to express my practical nature; there’s definitely something very satisfactory about being able to see the tangible results of my efforts. There is also a great sense of achievement in applying skills and techniques to meet some specific requirement or overcome a challenge. The technical requirements of the profession, for example, how different metals will behave in certain situations, also keeps it interesting.

Oh yes, and being able to bash the living daylights out of some piece of work that’s gone wrong (yes, there are days like that) using a big hammer on the anvil, is simply delightful.

Jewellery making is also a wonderful way to celebrate individuality. Each piece I make is a unique, one of a kind creation. Creating compass jewellery adds another dimension, adding independence and change into the mix. Sometimes people want to change. The changes we desire vary in nature, magnitude and significance. How we choose to achieve them is another variable. Each of my compass creations celebrates this complex uniqueness. My hope is to inspire individuals to choose their direction.

Who or what has inspired you the most?
My music teacher was an inspiration to me. As well as a being very accomplished musician, she was an inventor of electronic gadgets, for example, a foot operated page turner for music books. Her independence knew no bounds and she tackled plumbing-in her own bathroom with aplomb when she was in her 60s. She had a pragmatic approach to life; a precious rarity that I admired enormously. Of course, this also translated into her winning all discussions on the subject of my piano practise!

I shall never forget her saying that if I really wanted to learn to play the piano, then I’d make the time to practise. The idea that we can find the time and energy for anything if we’re sufficiently motivated, has stayed with me.

Gee, you grew up in the UK.  How did the move to France come about? Are you bilingual? If so, how did you learn the language? How easy was it?
I grew up in the Cotswolds in the UK. My husband, Chris, had lived in many countries and the thought of living in France had always appealed to him. When pondering the idea of a bolt-hole here in France, a good friend asked us what was stopping us from moving to France entirely. Aren’t friends like that great? Friends who encourage you think about something in a different way are very special. Anyway, it turned out there was nothing stopping us. So here we are living in France!

Bilingual? No. However, Chris and I often find ourselves the only English speaking people in our own home when sharing a meal with friends.  Learning the language was a mix of brushing up our school book French and diving in; making lots of mistakes, some more embarrassing than others, and asking people to correct us. Going shopping, visits to the vet or doctor, getting the car fixed, arranging for a phone line to be installed and registering a business; these are all things that happen without poring over a dictionary before hand. The gestures and shoulder shrugging continue to entertain us. It’s great fun!

What do you miss most (if anything) about being in the UK?
The British sense of humour. Curry take-aways. Cosy pubs (in winter).

What has been the best thing to happen in your life so far?
Realising that my happiness is up to me; that’s the best thing that’s happened to me so far. Actually, it’s sometimes the worst thing that’s happened to me, too! There’s that adage that goes something like this: “If you don’t like your life, change it.  If you can’t change it, then change your attitude”. That sums it up perfectly. It’s not always easy, but where’s the adventure in life if everything’s easy?

How do you relax?
Relaxing, specifically, isn’t something I’m very good at! I find spending time designing creations in my special book (given to me by a friend) very relaxing, experimenting with ideas, sketching out possibilities. Poring over my gemstone collection, admiring them and being inspired by them for creations is lovely, too. They never cease to fascinate me. These activities generally take place in my design room with some aromatherapy oil simmering away, or maybe an incense stick. My design room is a bit of a den with my books, cushions, various surfaces, maps and pictures stuck to the wall, some speakers and invariably a dog or two.

A really relaxing time for me is being tucked up in my sleeping bag when we go camping. The gentle movement of the tent, the sound of the breeze, toasty toes, happy dogs. My husband, Chris, and I love this sort of freedom.

Did you plan your career/life or have events just happened?
I think of my life and career as having evolved driven by the desire to live a life of integrity and fulfilment.  That might sound a bit overly moral but, really, I like being the real me and am happy to be following my dream.  I’ve looked out for, and taken opportunities that have resulted in me being who and where I am right now.  That journey, thankfully, is also ongoing.

Avivah Wittenberg Cox says women in France have got it right re feminism and femininity. Do you think there are significant differences between being a business woman in France rather than the UK?
My exposure to the entirety of being a business woman in France is limited. I run my own business and spend much of my time in my workshop.  Having said that, I must agree with Avivah’s comment that “… French women are confident of their femininity. They wear make-up, heels, feminine clothes and have never thought they have to dress like men.”.  Wherever I look, in whatever role and in whatever city, this rings true. Must get me some heels.

What dreams do you still hold?  What are you working towards?
I love being out on my mountain bike. I read about an incredible bike trail in New Zealand that I’d love to do someday. It incorporated a stop-over hut used by a gold miner. Lakes, mountains, camping, outdoors. You know what, maybe we’ll even live there one day. Shorter term, I’d love for us to get a campervan. We’re very good at spontaneously whizzing off with a tent somewhere and know a campervan would be fantastic!

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
Be yourself.

What advice would you give to anyone reading this and thinking of changing their lives?
Be yourself.  Life’s a Journey, Choose Your Direction.

You can see more of Gee’s beautiful compass jewellery on her web site rockwaterstudio

Help! I need you!

Thanks for responding! I’m not drowning, but I would very much appreciate your help with a new project I’m planning, if you’re up for it?

If you’re a regular reader of the blog or newsletter, have been coached by me, or attended any of my courses, you will know that I work with tried and tested techniques. No gimmicks and no mad acronyms. Everything I do is based on:

• years of experience of working with others to help them achieve their best,

• respected research,

• my  own continuing studies and evaluations received.

Similarly, my book is full of exercises I have successfully used over the years which I know work for people.

When I launch a new course I test it out first by offering it for free to specially selected groups (i.e. not my friends!), with follow up questionnaires as to effectiveness;  my coaching is based on the professional training I have received and many years of experience.

The Project

My  Renewyou programme has proved itself time and time again to help people make positive CHANGE in their lives. The drawback is I can only deliver it to a limited number of people at any one time …… up until now!

In response to requests from readers unable to attend my seminars in person, I have begun work on turning it into a download/workbook with audio so anyone can do it anytime, anywhere in the world.

Now you know I only deal in what works. I know the Renewyou seminar works because of the many testimonials I have received and because of the feed back from organisations who send staff to it. But I want to know how the programme works in a different format.

User Panel

I am assembling a User Panel to try out (for free) various exercises from the programme and give me honest feed back as to how easy it was to follow, effectiveness, etc. I’m looking for a large cross selection of ages, gender, (this course has worked equally well for men too) nationalities, and backgrounds.

If you are interested in becoming part of my user panel please send me a few details about yourself – I will respond to every person who applies.

Thank you! I am really looking forward to hearing from you!

You’re Worth It!

Are you really good at setting yourself goals and targets but then seem to find yourself falling short?

There are probably many reasons but one of them may be that you are focussing too much on very practical goals, for example:

‘I will lose 14 pounds by December‘.

Instead try thinking more about what you want to feel like in December. Why is losing 14 pounds important to you? Do you want to feel more attractive? Do you want to feel more healthy? Do you want to feel more confident?

Once you’ve worked out what the ‘feeling’ goal is implicit in your practical goal, try focussing on that and see what happens!

What tips/advice/techniques have you find useful in making sure you reach your goals?