Take a Break from the 21st Century!
Do you sometimes find yourself hankering after the simple life? Do you have dreams of a bucolic idyll growing organic vegetables, making your own chutney, patchwork quilts, no rush for the tube or bus, clean air, no bad news and so on and so on…
If you do, you’re not alone. Most people I coach entertain fantasies of stepping off the treadmill for a while, living the simple life. Closer examination usually means you just need a holiday or a proper break from work. Yet increasingly I find people are unwilling, or believe themselves to be unable, of taking a true and proper break from work. Modern technology means we can take it with us, in ways that were impossible just a few years ago.
So, my advice to you is try and take a proper break at least once a year. Be bold and leave the lap top at home and don’t buy a newspaper or listen to the news, (if that thought alone has bought you out in a cold sweat you most definitely need a proper break!).
Everyone benefits by a recharging of the batteries and you will return refreshed and reinvigorated to work at the end of your vacation! Park the technology at home, rediscover the non technological joys of life, enjoy what nature has to offer, (even if it’s rain), and leave the 21st century behind for a wee while!
How’s Your Balance?
There are some fundamental pyschological conditions we need to be met for us to feel stable and content; if one of these is out of kilter we can feel very out of control.
Our fundamentals are:
- Physical security
- Emotional security
- Economic wellbeing
- A sense of belonging
- Recognition from others
- Control over our lives.
When we begin to feel our life is getting out of balance in one area we can overcompensate in another, comfort eating for example when we feel undervalued.
Identify Your Strengths
One way to counteract this is to identify our strengths and then invest time in developing them. Energy we spend worrying about we perceive is wrong can be very self defeating and distract us from finding a solution. The more we focus on what ails us, the more out of control we’re likely to feel.
So if you’ve been feeling life is beyond your control lately, try this over the week end:
If you have a problem try to rethink it in your head as a challenge, rather than a catastrophe outside of your control.
Slow down and focus on one thing at a time.
Try and spend some time reflecting and studying your issue, rather than rushing ahead in order to solve it. Talking to a sympathetic, but neutral, listener can be very helpful in gathering your thoughts.
Set yourself a small manageable goal towards resolution, do it, and then set another. This gives time for better solutions to arise and allows you to exert some control. Confronting in a positive way what is happening, rather then trying to ignore or suppress it will also develop your skills and strengths and enhance your self esteem!
What one goal might you set yourself this week end to enhance your overall sense of well being?
Your Leisure Questions
As much of the UK returns to work following a long week end it seems a good time to ask a few questions about your attitude to relaxing. Your leisure time, the time that ‘feeds’ you, when you relax.
- Can you remember when you last felt totally relaxed?
- Where were you and what made it relaxing? Were you in control of events or was it a combination of external events?
- How often do you consciously make time in your life to relax, or do you think it should just happen spontaneously?
- Are there certain conditions that need to be met for you to be relaxed?
- Does your best relaxation come when you are with others, or alone?
- Do you give your relaxation time priority or is the first thing to go when times get busy?
- How often do you need your leisure/relaxation time?
- Do you know when you are next going to recharge your batteries?
Do share your favourite tips for relaxation. Regular readers will know that pottering in my garden is one of mine, but I have also recently rediscovered the joy of reading (not work related) in the middle of the day! What do you do to recharge?
Is Your Life in Balance?
From time to time life can get out of kilter for all of us. You may just have a vague feeling of too much to do, or it may be more serious with a thorough rethink of your priorities needed.
Try this exercise.
Jot down the areas of life that are important to you. Your list will unique to you but it might include:
family- work
- friends
- partner
- hobbies
- spiritual life
- own development
- contributing to your community
And so on. Once you have your list, give each a rating of its importance or significance to you. 1= least important 10 = most important. This will be different at differing stages of your life so this exercise bears repetition from time to time.
Now, give each item a rating according to how it feels in terms of work life balance. For example, is work taking a major part of your life at the moment? If so, you might rate it ten. But does that rating accord with the importance it has in your life right now? If so, great, the balance is right. If not, maybe you need to think about some new strategies?
