Who Is In Your Fan Club?
You will have supporters in life
and you will have detractors in life
and you will have couldn’t care much one way or the others in your life.
The ‘couldn’t care much one way or the others’ may help you if you ask them. They probably won’t do you any harm. You could get to know them better – find out what makes them tick and offer help and assistance to them. Who knows, in time they may join your supporters club.
The detractors may take up more of your time that necessary; we tend to get caught up with stuff like that when sometimes the best answer is just to let go. Decide that they won’t upset you and don’t respond. A waste of your energy.
Which leaves your supporters.
Do you know who your supporters are? Are you paying them enough attention? Are you supporting in return?
PHoto Credit: Duchessa
Does Change Make You Feel Stressed? (Free eguide for Managers)
We were having a discussion about change on my RenewYou course the other day (there’s a lot of it about at the moment!) Women come on RenewYou when they want to make changes in their life so I was delivering a session on the psychological impact of change on individuals, (more on this here in Are You a Fox or a Hedgehog?)
Individuals and Change
I was making the point that, when we as individuals decide to make a significant change, for those close to us or who work closely with us, our decision to change is a change in their lives over which they have no control. And when we feel we have no control over change we instinctively want to resist it.
If we don’t let the appropriate people in our lives know what we are doing then we can expect them to be potential saboteurs of the change we want to make. They may not even realise they are doing it. But one thing is for sure, if you don’t give them information, communicate with them, they won’t be allies.
Change in the Workplace
Our discussion then became more wide ranging and we began to discuss our experiences of organisational change. Why, asked my group, do senior managers start well but then stop communicating with staff?
I suspect it’s because they themselves are also going through the change process as change may be imposed on them (as in redundancies because of the economic situation) and they are coping with their own feelings. Also, we expect senior managers to have the answers, to know what is going on.
Having been on both sides of the equation I can tell you that they often don’t know what is going on! They know the end result required, i.e. saving money, but the route may be far from clear. Fearful of giving the wrong answers they go to ground and give none; they stop communicating. Bad move, as nature abhors a vacuum and it will be filled! Often with misinformation and rumour.
BBC
Coincidentally, this discussion was almost mirrored on the BBC this morning as they talked to two experts on organisational psychology and change and why change caused us so much stress. A recent survey has shown stress to be the biggest cause of lost working days. Lack of communication was cited as the top reason. Why, asked the interviewer, does knowing more about what is going on help keep stress levels down?
The experts didn’t have much time to respond but this is the answer. Once we have the facts we can take back some control, we can decide how we are going to react. When we’re not told what is going on we’re being treated like children. And guess what? Treat adults like children and you’ll get some childlike behaviour back! Not knowing makes us stressed as we imagine so much worse (magical thinking) and feeling stressed lowers our immunity to the usual bugs and ailments doing the rounds. Even if we think we’re coping well the chances are, if we’re stressed, we’ll end up taking time off for a minor complaint when in normal circumstances we’d womanfully struggle on!
Free Guide for Managers on Change
I have written a guide for managers who have to manage staff through change; I run change seminars within organisations for both managers and staff (any gender!) who are undergoing change. I also worked as project lead for two organisations undergoing huge change: the book is a result of my experiences but, knowing how busy managers are, it’s a short, easy read yet contains everything you need to know!
If you’d like a free copy, and you are a newsletter subscriber, simply go to the contact page on my site and let me know. If you are looking for support within your own organisation, or personally please call on 01761438749, or also use the contact page.
Are you in the midst of significant change? How is it for you? If you’re a manager do you feel you have sufficient support and information? If you are an employee what’s it like for you? Do you know enough about what is happening and why? If you run your own business what’s the biggest problem you face? Please do share your stories!
Also, here you can find a free fact sheet on work related stress from CIPD but you’ll need to register – it’s free.
Photo Credit: Omacaco
Are You The Boss You’d Like?
Well, are you?
If you were your own boss (and maybe you are, as I am) would people be queuing up to get in your team based on how you treat yourself?
Try honestly answering the following questions:
Do you treat yourself well? By which I mean do you look after yourself when working?
Do you take regular breaks? Grab some fresh air at least once a day?
Do you have a proper lunch break away from your desk/workplace at least three times a week?
Do you regularly praise yourself for a job well done?
Do you celebrate your successes?
Do you invest in yourself, take advantage of training on offer?
I hope you can answer yes to a good few of those. if not, time to give yourself an appraisal! Got to dash. the sun is shining and I’m going into the garden for 15 minutes!
Please share your ‘look after yourself’ tips!
Photo Credit: Arte Ram
What Every Woman Needs to Know about Confidence
Confidence is such an elusive concept. How do you define something so intangible? (That’s both a rhetorical and an actual question! I’d love to know what you think!)
I’ve written many times about women and confidence as it’s often a feature of my coaching with women. Some days we’re brimful of it; others it simply deserts us.
And once we start to feel a lack of confidence it can become all consuming. We begin to focus so much on it that we soon become enmeshed in a downward spiral and can think of little else but our lack of confidence. Making us feel less confident…
Be More Confident
A survey by Gallop found that people were happiest at work when they had an opportunity to do what they did best every day.
Research into coping with depression and stress has found that focussing on the negatives in life does not lift the depression; you know you can make yourself feel miserable by thinking about something miserable in your life.
On the plus side you can make yourself feel brighter by thinking about something good in your life. Try it now. A famous sports photographer said he gets his subjects to think about the time they won a great competition and than snaps away as he sees that sparkle come into their features. Think about a good time in your life, when you felt confident and in control.
You can make yourself feel more confident by doing something you are good at! When the dip strikes don’t spend ages beating yourself up up about it or struggling to find a cause. Nip it in the bud as fast as you can by doing something that makes you feel good, that gives you a boost. And then in that frame of mind, go back and take a fresh look at your issue and you’ll see it from an entirely fresh perspective. You might not be able to see it at all.
RenewYou Women’s Course
If you’d like to spend a whole day with me looking at your life from a positive perspective and learn techniques to increase your confidence come and join me in Bristol on my Renewyou course!
And if you have your own techniques and tips to keep your confidence high, please share them with us!
Photo Credit: Katarzina Lipinska
Women, Have You Got a Good Friend?
Does having a good friend at work make you feel better about your job?
In a survey commissioned by Gallop of what makes a great workplace, having a best friend at work came in at number 10 in the top 12!
I have always smiled at this as this was a survey of 80,000 managers, and management can be very lonely. I don’t have a gender breakdown for it but I know when I’m running my women’s courses that women are happy to admit to this fact. For senior women it can be extremely isolating as often there are fewer women in similar positions and they can find themselves carrying the flag for all women’s issues in an organisation.
Fight/Flight
I think women in particular may value friendships at work because of our unique responses to stress. Although we also have the surge of adrenalin that prepares us to run away or stand and fight, we also have a third coping mechanism when feeling under stress. Women release oxytocin, the ‘love hormone’ which is released after childbirth to promote bonding.
Women Need Friends
It seems women may have an actual physiological need for friendship. As workplaces can be very stressful places is it any wonder that friendships score highly!
Try and take a few moments out of your busy day to consider the following:
- Do you have a best friend at work?
- How important are your friendships to you in managing the stresses and strains of life?
- Are you paying enough attention to your friendships?
And please do share your answers with us!
Take a Break from the 21st Century!
Do you sometimes find yourself hankering after the simple life? Do you have dreams of a bucolic idyll growing organic vegetables, making your own chutney, patchwork quilts, no rush for the tube or bus, clean air, no bad news and so on and so on…
If you do, you’re not alone. Most people I coach entertain fantasies of stepping off the treadmill for a while, living the simple life. Closer examination usually means you just need a holiday or a proper break from work. Yet increasingly I find people are unwilling, or believe themselves to be unable, of taking a true and proper break from work. Modern technology means we can take it with us, in ways that were impossible just a few years ago.
So, my advice to you is try and take a proper break at least once a year. Be bold and leave the lap top at home and don’t buy a newspaper or listen to the news, (if that thought alone has bought you out in a cold sweat you most definitely need a proper break!).
Everyone benefits by a recharging of the batteries and you will return refreshed and reinvigorated to work at the end of your vacation! Park the technology at home, rediscover the non technological joys of life, enjoy what nature has to offer, (even if it’s rain), and leave the 21st century behind for a wee while!
