Inspirational Women – Author Elissa Stein
Another in my series of interviews with women who will inspire you! Elissa is well known in the US (and I know she will soon become familiar to UK audiences too); she has just published an interesting book on a rarely openly talked about topic of interest to all women!
Jane: You are just about to publish a fascinating book you’ve co written with Susan Kim called ‘Flow’ (available in UK late autumn 2009) 
Could you give the readers a summary of what the book is about?
Elissa: ‘Flow: The Cultural Story of Menstruation’ explores anything and everything menstruation—what it is, how it works, and what can go wrong while also delving into sex, politics, religion, advertising, hysteria, PMS, big pharma, femcare, product development, women’s rights, education, menopause, alternatives, with a twist of kitsch and over 150 color illustrations. It’s the start of a conversation women have been kept from having for thousands of years.
That is an interesting topic! What prompted you to write a book on menstruation?
Years ago, my period stopped. I was both too terrified and embarrassed to say anything to anyone for over a year. When I finally went to a doctor and all checked out, he handed me a pack of birth control pills, patted me on the knee, and said “Honey, we just need to jump start your hormones.” But I didn’t want to be on the pill. Even worse, no one bothered to figure out why my period stopped in the first place (anorexia). From that point I’ve wanted to put something out into the world that would help women feel more comfortable talking about menstruation without that deep-seated shame we’ve been raised with.
Elissa, you are now well established in your career as an author and designer. When you left school did you have a clear idea of what you wanted to do? Did you plan your career? If so how?
My career path has been anything but linear. Traditional college wasn’t right for me, so I left after two years and worked my way through a variety of jobs in retail, merchandising, and advertising, while my husband was in law school. After his graduation, I enrolled at School of Visual Arts, to study graphic design. I realized there that I had been a designer my whole life, without knowing that was something you could be when you grew up. In design school, I discovered it was the marriage of images and words that was my path. In fact, at my portfolio review, my teacher said I should go on to get a graduate degree in writing. I burst into tears. But, books later, that’s exactly what I do.
Have you encountered discrimination/problems because of being a woman, or maybe because of being a feminist? How have you overcome them?
I have been exceedingly lucky to work with people who have been supportive of me. Not only do I design and write, but I’m a stay-at-home mom, working out of the corner of my living room. I’ve called clients from the hospital, in the middle of labor (both times), to explain why a project would be held up a bit.
The advance publicity for ‘Flow’ has garnered praise but also a few brickbats too. Why do you think the topic is so taboo (remember all the fuss when tampons were first allowed on TV?) And how do you deal with the less than favourable comments about your book that are lobbed at you?
As a society, we’ve been trained, literally for thousands of years—it says so in the Bible—that menstruation is dirty and a sign of weakness. Women were taught to keep it a secret at all costs. That mindset isn’t going to die a quick and easy death and there will be countless people perfectly happy to shove the conversation back into the closet. I’m working on thickening up my skin.
Women are a relatively new entry into the world of paid work and we work in a system designed by men for men. If the situation had been reversed, that is women calling the shots from the beginning, how different do you think things might have been? What do you think would be the major change?
What a great question! Not to make too broad a generalization, but how about a work hierarchy structured by people who effectively multi-task, can blur edges, don’t necessarily think linearly, are empathetic and supportive, creative and nurturing? I don’t see a down side to that.
On your blog ‘spiritual pedicures’ you often talk about your family, baking brownies etc. How do you manage the work life balance? Any tips for our readers?
I call it my juggle, keeping all these unrelated balls in the air at the same time. I find what makes it all manageable (and believe me, I can’t always pull it off with style and grace) is making sure I have time for myself. I practice yoga at a delicious studio and that makes a huge difference. Keeping in touch with friends, too, whether at coffee bars in the morning, or online late at night, helps keep me grounded.
Who or what has been the most influential figure in your life?
My kids. I was a different person before they were born. Being a mother forced me to let go, to take chances, to laugh at myself. To give up my eating disorder, to let someone else come first. Profound lessons.
If you could give the 18 year old you one piece of advice, what would it be? What is the most important lesson that life has taught you so far?
If I could go back in time, I’d make this my mantra: Believe in yourself. As for lessons I’ve learned so far? I can’t narrow it down to one. Trust my instincts. Don’t take anything too seriously. Dream big. And embrace that the more I learn, the less I know.
Elissa, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us. I hope the book is a phenomenal success and that the taboo is broken once and for all!
You can buy ‘Flow’ in all good bookshops and it is also available through Amazon.
Women of Merit – be inspired!
We all need a bit of inspiration from time to time so I hope you enjoy reading about this truly inspirational woman!
Elizabeth Blackwell, born 1821 in Bristol, England, (her family emigrated to America ten years later), was 
determined to become a doctor in an age when women were not permitted to enter medicine as a career. She didn’t let this deter her.
Perseverance
She applied to TWENTY EIGHT medical schools and was turned down by them all! Finally she was accepted by Geneva College in New York, not as the act of an enlightened institution but because an eminent professor had pressed for her to be accepted.
The college said they would let the students vote on whether to accept her and the students voted yes as a joke! But she was in and she showed them! In 1849 she graduated as head of her class; the first American woman to obtain a medical degree. She went on to become a trailblazer for other women to follow, a truly inspirational woman.
“What special contribution can women make to medicine? Not blind imitation of men…for this would endorse the widespread error that the human race consists chiefly of men. Our duty is loyalty to right and opposition to wrong, in accordance with the esential principles of our own nature.”
So, next time you get a knock back in your career think of Elizabeth Blackwell and her tenacity; pick yourself up and give it another go!
Inspirational Women – Yana Berlin
Jane: Yana, you are the founder and CEO of the hugely popular successful networking site aimed at women,
‘Fabulously 40.com’ How did you get the idea for this; what made you want to start it up?
Yana: I felt that women of our demographic were ignored. Everyone is concentrating on baby boomers or twenty or thirty somethings. Born in 1965 I missed the baby boomer boat, and didn’t feel appropriate hanging out on MySpace and Facebook which were initially geared for a younger demographic. I had my own children who had their profiles on these social networks, and hanging around with Mom on the same social network was just not “cool”.
Besides, I wanted to get the word out that 40 and beyond are the best years of your life. I also wanted to create a virtual community that focused on the positive aspects of aging as well as provided information, support and nourishment for women all over the world.
Jane: You weren’t born in the US but are actually from Russia. How old were you when you left Russia and what influence has your European heritage has had on you?
Yana: Yes, I was born in St. Petersburg and emigrated to the States when I was twelve. I was brought up in a very tight knit family. Even though I lived in the US for over thirty years I’m still very much Russian; starting with the accent that I have never lost, to all the little things that were embedded into me since I was a little girl. My family was all about values, doing the right thing, respecting the elders, and caring for loved ones.
Jane: Do you remember what your first paid job was? How much did you earn?
Yana: My first job was as a baby-sitter; ironically I was the first one to land a job when we came over. It was very exciting and scary at the same time. I was babysitting a 9 month-old baby. Only after an hour I had to phone my dad for help, when I couldn’t figure out how to operate a diaper. In Russia there were no pampers at the time, so I figured since my dad was a mechanical engineer he would figure it out, thank God he did not disappoint me. I don’t remember how much I was paid, but I do remember that gas was 49 cents a gallon at the time.
Jane: What were your career thoughts when you left school?
Yana: I was always very ambitious. I started a business while I was in High School, and have continued to be very entrepreneurial throughout my life.
Jane: How involved is your partner in what you do?
Yana: My husband is my biggest cheerleader as well as business advisor. He travels a lot, but is always eager to answer my questions or lend a shoulder when I want to vent.
Jane: What problems and benefits have you found in combining motherhood and a career?
Yana: Since launching Fabulously40, I’ve worked 80 hours a week. My children are grown and all took it upon themselves to help out with house chores. One of my daughters works full time for Fabulously40. I’m really proud of my children. I guess the benefit of working hard and running your own business was having kids watch and learn. I have to say that they are all very entrepreneurial and have big dreams and many goals.
Jane: When are you happiest?
Yana: When I know that all my children are safe in bed, and I’m falling asleep as my husband holds me.
Jane: What do you think is the secret of happiness?
Yana: The pursuit of happiness is a life-long quest; it means different things to different people. To me, “happy” stands for:
Harmony – Listening and paying attention to everything that
strikes a chord.
Appreciation – Appreciating and celebrating all that we have.
Politeness – Treating others how we would like to be treated.
Positivity – Always looking for the good and the beautiful.
Yin/Yang- Having balance in life.
The problem with being happy is that things like harmony, appreciation and balance don’t necessarily come easy. In fact, sometimes we have to work for them. One of the best tools I have found to instil a sense of happiness is simply to make a list of the things I feel happy about. It only takes a few minutes each day, but the psychic rewards are well worth the time and effort.
Jane: How do you relax?
Yana: I have several hobbies. I paint, knit and make jewellery. I also like to write. Sometimes it’s relaxing, sometimes it’s stressful. It depends on the activity and the complexity of the project. I like to challenge myself.
Jane: Who has been the most significant and or influential person in your life?
Yana: My parents; they built a foundation for me and my brother and are always available to help, guide or scold, even now in my forties. If I’m out of line I’m reminded!
Jane: What is the most important lesson you’ve learned in life?
Yana: There is something to be learned from everyone you meet.
Jane: If the present Yana could give some advice to the 18 year old Yana what would it be?
Yana: Guilt and stress are useless emotions that only cause negative effects. Finding ways to live without them is the most beneficial aspect of our wellbeing.
Jane: Yana, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us; I really appreciate it. Thank you!
This link will take you to Yana’s fabulously40 site. It’s a great site with loads of information, interesting articles and opportunities to network with likeminded women from all over the globe!
Inspirational Women – Anne Elliott
Jane: Do you remember what your first paid job was? How much did you earn?
Anne: When I was 13 my sister and I got jobs on a market stall. It was hard work and a long day for not a lot of money but it was normal then. Of course nowadays as my teenage daughter has found out you have to be 16 to get a weekend job. This worries me. I understand the important need to not exploit children, but at the same time we must instil a healthy work ethic in our young people.
Jane: What were your career thoughts when you left school? Did you go on to further education?
Anne: I was lucky. I had enough raw talent to get my place at Art school while I was still in the lower sixth so I didn’t have the pressure of what comes next.
Jane: Did you have a plan? Or did you react to events as they happened?
Anne: I never really planned past Art school. It was all I wanted to do and to have the opportunity to paint 24 hours a day was sheer heaven to me. I was looked after and cosseted so all I had to think about was Art. I loved my time at college; one of the happiest times of my life. However, I wasn’t prepared for the big wide world afterwards and its many pressures and the world didn’t really need yet another young Fine Art graduate.
With no plan, I moved through a succession of jobs that with hindsight had only one common thread – communicating information: Fine Art Lecturer, Advertising creative, Film director, stand up Comedienne.
Jane: What problems and benefits have you found in combining motherhood and a career?
Anne: When my first child came along I had given up full time employment and found it hard to become a full time mother. I was too used to earning money and being mentally busy, so I started a Design Agency in the slots when the baby was sleeping.
It became successful quite quickly and after a year, my husband left his full time job as a design director to join me. Thus was the start of my entrepreneurial career which I found I also had a flair for. I built the business over the next few years winning the Barclays/Ham&High small business of the year award and being nominated for the Times Entrepreneur of the Year award. I also started and built a property business and later a small publishing house.
It was after the birth of my second child that my life took a radical shift. I was huge. UK size 26. I had slowly over the years yo-yo dieted my size upwards. No reason, no problem, just happened. I was 40 and wheezed up a flight of stairs. It was the last day of a holiday with a girlfriend that changed my life – we asked a young man who was lying on a sun bed to take a photo of us. He slowly looked us up and down and said, “No, go and ask someone else”. My jaw hit the floor.
This was the kick I needed. When I got back I put myself on a sensible diet, I joined a gym, got a trainer and slowly got myself into shape. (I am now a UK size 12) At this time, I had a go at throwing a punch while my trainer held some pads. From the first punch I knew this was
what I was meant to do when I grew up but I was 20 years too late. I persuaded a Boxing Trainer to take me on and train me and for 6 months went through the hardest training regime I’d ever known.
I did an exhibition bout with an ABA champion and after continued to train. I was too old to compete so I trained to become a judge. After 3 years I trained again to become a referee which I have been doing for the last 3 years. It is immensely challenging yet also hugely rewarding. What I then did was turn my passion into my living. I took myself back to college to study Sports Science and Therapy and a year ago started my Personal Training business. I specialize in working with busy business people 35-60 as I understand the pressures and stresses this group live under. I also work with women who like I was are too big but don’t know how to break the vicious cycle. I clearly have empathy but at the same time know it doesn’t have to be like that.
I wrote a diet and fitness book called ‘It’s not Rocket Science”, which was featured on GMTV for 6 weeks and in the Express and many other women’s titles, and endorsed by the Minister of State for Health. It was to help the many people to had found themselves in the same boat as me – to give them a sensible and practical approach to diet and fitness.
Jane: What do you think is the secret of happiness?
Anne: Doing what you have a passion for. You just do it so much better and feel so much more fulfilled.
Jane: How do you relax?
Anne: I still do boxing training and spar occasionally. It’s such a great de-stresser. I love my garden and go for country walks with my family.
Jane: What is the most important lesson you’ve learned in life?
Anne: Live life well and if you’re not happy, then change it because now as my 50th birthday looms I can’t help but look back and realize how much time I wasted by just compromising to safety because I didn’t have the guts to take a chance.
Jane: Who has been the most significant and or influential person in your life?
Anne: There have been many people along the way. I was told as a young woman “If you want to learn something then find the best person doing it and copy them”. Whenever possible I’ve also asked them to teach me. My list would have to include:
- My mother – a strong women born at the wrong time in the wrong place
- Mr Lunt – a pottery teacher at school who showed great faith in me and my ability. If someone tells you you are good at something at a young age, you are more likely to have confidence in yourself from then on
- Anthony Green RA – A great mentor even to this day
- Jamie Robertson – A young fitness trainer who with skill and patience, slowly got a fat, middle aged woman fit and made it fun
- Mr Akay CBE – Boxing Trainer and industry supremo
- My husband Gerald who has given me endless unstinting support.
Jane: Thank you so much for sharing your story with us!
You can read more about Anne on her website www.anneelliott.co.uk
Inspirational Women – Naomi Jefferies
I am very pleased to bring you another interview with a person I know will inspire you! Naomi Jefferies is a psychologist currently juggling part time work with being a Mum to 4 very active little girls!. Naomi and I met a few years ago when a friend gave me a copy of her very moving book.
Jane: Naomi, how did you choose psychology as your career?
Naomi: Because I was interested in people – corny but true! I am interested in people’s stories and what makes them tick. I further specialised in occupational psychology because I feel passionately that people spend so much time at work – it needs to be a good experience for them. Work affects people’s self-concept and well being so much and psychologists can really help to optimise this experience for them, and their employers.
Jane: Do you remember what your first paid job was? How much did you earn?
Naomi: It was working in the local library on a Saturday. I was paid £4.31 for an afternoon session and £5.20 for a morning session. I loved stamping books and reading the back covers as I shelved the books. But I hated making the fresh coffee as I had no idea how to do it!
Jane: What were your career thoughts when you left school? Did you go on to further education?
Naomi: To be honest I didn’t really think beyond university in that much detail. I did a BSc in Psychology and thought about clinical psychology, but decided against it after a summer spent working in an acute psychiatric ward. I initially trained post graduation as a teacher and taught Biology and Psychology.
Jane: Did you have an actual career plan? Or did you react to events as they happened?
Naomi: I think I reacted to events and sought out opportunities wherever I was. I lived in Adelaide, Australia for a while and worked on a health education campaign and then worked in London as a trainer.
Jane: What problems and benefits have you found in combining motherhood and a career?
Naomi: Being a mother makes you super organised and able to prioritise and manage conflicting demands. It also helps you develop skills in ‘cutting through the rubbish’ to the crux of the issue and to acquire amazing negotiation skills. All key skills for the world of work!
The problems are more to do with time and being limited in terms of locality and travel. Personally I also feel guilty for either wanting to get home to the children or not being with them when at work. But I think this is part of the territory of being a mother.
Jane: What do you think is the secret of happiness?
Naomi: Being true to yourself and surrounding yourself with people you love.
Jane: How do you relax?
Naomi: I swim, run and absorb myself in good novels!
Jane: What is the most important lesson you’ve learned in life?
Naomi: Two things:
1. There is nothing more important than love and those you love, and love is infinite.
2. That your intuition is there for a reason – listen to it!
Jane: Who has been the most significant and influential person in your life?
Naomi: My Mum and my Mother-in-Law; two very different, but strong, women who have taught me about values, dignity, resilience and unconditional love.
My twin sister, Rachel, Rachel Clark. I watched her battle cancer for 3 years until she died. She was an amazing woman and had been writing a book of her story- partly my story too as we had been adopted at birth – and Rachel’s illness prompted her to begin a search for our birth parents. It was a search we completed together. When she died I helped finish her book. She taught me that people have an enormous capacity to cope and support each other. It helped us both re-evaluate the important things in life. She taught me that the words ‘I love you’ say it all.
Jane: If the present Naomi could give some advice to the 18 year old Naomi what would it be?
Naomi: We are all people on a journey through life, none of us better than any others. So listen to yourself and believe in yourself and listen to others and their experiences, but remember none of us have the ‘ultimate’ answer. Take time to appreciate the moment and the people you love because none of us know the future and it can change in the blink of an eyelid!
Jane: Are there any books/sayings etc you would like to share with our readers?
Naomi: “Do not compare yourself to other people – it can make you vain and bitter”
“Death is like a ship on the ocean. When a ship goes over the horizon you can’t see it but you know it is there. When you lose
someone you love you can no longer see or touch them but the love is still there ,wherever they are”
As for books: ‘A Long Walk Home’ by Rachel Clark with Naomi Jefferies, David Pendleton and John Hasler and The Alchemist by Paublo Coelho. (Clicking the links will take you to Amazon where both books are available).
Jane: Naomi, thank you for sharing part of your story with us.
Inspirational Women – Jo Bertinet
Jane: Jo, you are one half of the famous Bertinet Kitchen cookery school in Bath.(One of the top ten in 
UK) Many people may be more familiar with your husband, Richard, who is fast becoming a national celebrity. What is your role in the partnership?
Jo: I run everything behind the scenes. Richard is our product and I work with a team of two others to promote and market him as well as to take care of all the day to day activities of the kitchen (enquiries, sales, orders, invoices etc) and Richard’s consultancy work.
Jane: Do you ever hanker after the limelight?
Jo: No!! I’m not particularly keen on having my photo taken so I don’t think I would be very good at it.
Jane: Do you remember what your first paid job was? How much did you earn?
Jo: Yes – I worked in a florists shop in Cheltenham every Sunday while I was at school. I was paid @£2 (about $3.50) an hour which seemed a huge amount at the time!
Jane: What were your career thoughts when you left school? Did you go on to further education?
Jo: I left school to read law at University College London and then after my degree went to the College of Law for a year before joining a big city law firm.
Jane: Did you have a plan? Or did you react to events as they happened?
Jo: When I left school I fell into my first career – I knew I wanted a change from my A level subjects and felt that I was expected to follow a ‘proper profession’. Sadly I never really enjoyed it. I remember saying within the first 3 months of starting work that someday I wanted to run my own business. In the end it took more than 12 years to leave!
Once Richard and I had decided to combine our skills and open a cookery school I went into planning overdrive – something I learnt as a lawyer. It took about 18 months of planning, writing our business plan, finding the right premises and securing the necessary funding before we left London and started the building work in Bath.
Jane: What problems and benefits have you found in combining motherhood and a career?
Jo: It has always been a tough challenge and certainly accounted for part of the reason why we left London and set up The Bertinet Kitchen. I needed to be more in control of my time. I am very happy to work hard and put in the hours but I hated missing school assemblies and shows or sports days.
Now I probably work longer hours than I did when I was in the city (and that is saying something) but I can always be at events to support the kids. I have always felt that I wanted to work and I am not sure I would have the patience to stay at home – looking after kids is much harder than running a business!
Jane: When are you happiest?
Jo: Any lazy Sunday morning at home with the family and everyone piled onto our bed.
Jane: How do you relax?
Jo: Sadly I don’t do this enough. I do Pilates once a week – an hour of ‘me’ time – the harder my instructor makes me work the more it takes my mind off the office and the more relaxed I am as a result. Once a year we try to take a really good break away from work and go off to France for a few weeks. We don’t do anything much but swim, play with the kids and eat and drink a bit too much, but its great for reviving flagging spirits.
Jane: What is the most important lesson you’ve learned in life?
Jo: To take a few calculated risks.
Jane: Who has been the most significant and or influential person in your life?
Jo: Richard – it’s great to be able to live and work with someone who shares the same values and goals as I do. Without him I just wouldn’t be doing what I am doing now and I think he would probably say the same thing.
Jane: If the present Jo could give some advice to the 18 year old Jo what would it be?
Jo: I would probably suggest that I take a year off (something I didn’t do) and take the time to work out what I wanted to do with my life. At 18 I definitely felt that I needed to get on with life more than I actually needed to.
Jane: What do you think is the secret of happiness?
Jo: Probably remembering to enjoy the ride as well as focusing on the destination.
Jane: Jo, thank you so much for sharing your experience with us!
If you’d like to find out a bit more about the Bertinet Cookery
School this link will take you straight there.
Books by Richard Bertinet
