Inspirational Women – Deborah Alsina

Twitter is amazing and was the cause of my getting to know the amazing Deborah Alsina. Deborah is the chief executive of a national charity and I was intrigued to know how she came by such a job. Do read her story – I know she’ll inspire you as she has me!

Jane: Deborah, can you describe your current role?
Deborah: I’m the Chief Executive of Bowel Cancer UK, a national charity which aims to save lives by raising awareness of bowel cancer, campaigning for best treatment and care and providing practical support and advice to patients, their family and friends.

Bowel cancer is the second biggest cancer killer in the UK, but it is highly treatable if diagnosed early.  Unfortunately awareness of the disease is too low and people are often unaware of the disease itself or its symptoms.  That makes Bowel Cancer UK’s work even more important as raising awareness really can save lives.

How did you end up in this post? Was it through personal experience or a career choice?
A bit of both actually.  My father was diagnosed with bowel cancer in early 2008 and sadly died in June that same year.  During the course of his diagnosis and treatment I was shocked to learn that bowel cancer is the second biggest cancer killer, yet I knew nothing about it at all.  His death was profoundly shocking and I’m convinced that if I had known then what I know now, he would have survived.

During the course of those few months and after his death, I researched the disease and the charitable sector as I wanted to know more.  In my mind, I was sure there had to be a big cancer charity that was providing support and advice as there are, for example, in breast and prostate cancer.   I was shocked to discover that in fact the charities focusing on bowel cancer were small and under-developed and realised that in part this was due to the nature of the disease and its public image.

I’ve worked in the voluntary sector for 20 years and at the time was working as a self-employed management consultant so I decided to turn my painful negative experiences into a positive by getting involved in some way.  I wrote to Bowel Cancer UK and offered to help and my probono consultancy services quickly became employment!  I became Director of Services and Strategy in June 2009 and then Chief Executive a year later.

I’m at my best professionally when I’m passionate about what I do and I think the reason this role works so well is that it brings together my personal experience with my professional skills.

What is main difference working in charity sector as opposed to the private sector?
The most obvious difference is that the charity sector is cause driven, not about profit.  Of course we want to make a profit (normally through fundraising) but then plough that back into the charity to ensure we meet our mission, in Bowel Cancer UK’s case to save lives from bowel cancer. I think charities should be run with the same rigour as a business but with a cause at their core.

To be truly effective, they should be fast moving, sharply run, independent and full of creativity and innovation.  Our ultimate aim should be to put ourselves out of business because we’ve solved the issue we are focused upon.

What were your career aspirations when you left school?
I was going to be an opera singer!  From the age of six, I was always going to be a musician – initially a cellist and then in my mid –teens I discovered, to my amazement, that I had a good voice and just loved it.  My aim was to go to music college to study singing but as I finished school when I was still 17 and young voices need looking after, I went to university first to read Music.

However I had my singing lessons at the Guildhall School of Music and Drama and was a performance major.  The idea was that afterwards I would go on to do post graduate studies.  Those plans came unstuck when I went to Africa and fell in love with it!  I had been so privileged to have a safe secure upbringing but Africa really opened my eyes to the wider world including to poverty and human rights abuse.  From that moment my attention changed from centre stage Covent Garden to a deep desire to do something for people.  I changed direction totally, stopping singing almost overnight – which I regret now to some extent.

What were you doing before this role?
I began my career in publishing but quickly moved into the voluntary sector. I have worked in many different areas, from academic think tanks to charities supporting people with a disability or who work internationally.  Directly before joining Bowel Cancer UK, I was an independent consultant for five years which I enjoyed.  I specialised in strategy, fundraising and communications and of course did lots of evaluations too.  I was also the interim CEO of the Welsh Refugee Council for a while.

I was very fortunate to have lots of really interesting work yet had the flexibility to spend more time with my children and support my husband who was newly diagnosed with leukaemia.

However, my favourite employer before Bowel Cancer UK was the Refugee Council, I started working there as a fundraiser and eventually ended up setting up a new programme looking at the root causes of refugee producing situations and asylum in the West.  I spent some time in the Balkans after the conflicts there and was deeply moved by the stories of bravery and terrible suffering.  In fact I was in Bosnia visiting families still trying to return to their homes, living in terrible conditions but with such dignity and pride on 9-11.  It was a terrible insight into what was to come.

So what draws my passion for human rights and refugees together with my passion to raise awareness of bowel cancer?  People and their amazing ability to overcome adversity and a personal desire to help where I can and where it’s appropriate to do so.

What kind of career path have you followed? Did you have a plan or react to events?
When I was in my 20s and early 30s I had a more obvious career path – I wanted to rise up through the ranks and to be a Director of Fundraising and Communications, which I achieved.  Then life happened and I moved into consultancy to try and get some balance and since then my career has been governed by personal events in my life, where my skills, experiences and interests converge.  I think what I enjoyed most about consultancy was that I was constantly being challenged and pushed out of my comfort zone which ensured I quickly extended my skill base.

I’ve finally discovered, now in my early 40s, that the most wonderful thing about getting older, is that I am much more able to accept that I’m actually quite good at some things and also feel just as fine about admitting that I will never be any good at some others!   It’s a good place to be.  Taking on a wide range of diverse projects as a consultant helped me find that out.

I’m also interested to discover that at this point in my life, I’m not very personally ambitious in terms of my career, but hugely ambitious in terms of my desire to do something of value.  I have no choice but to work as I need to make a living, so if I am going to do so, it has to be something that is socially meaningful.  If I’m honest sometimes my social conscience feels like a bit of a curse as I’m sure there must be an easier way to make a buck but I know I would lose interest pretty quickly!   My husband and close friends would tell you I am very determined and driven and I think that is fair.  When something has really grabbed my attention or needs to be done I am very focused and I will find a way to make it happen if I possibly can.

I know there will be a moment that it is right for Bowel Cancer UK that I move on, as I think new energy is important in a growing organisation, but at this moment I have no clear plan about what I will do next – no doubt something important will draw me in eventually.

Deborah, I’m pretty certain you must be an inspiration to many people, but who most inspires you?
I have been fortunate to work with some pretty inspirational people over the course of my career.  In fact some of the people who have inspired me most have been those who have overcome terrible things in their own lives yet found a way to turn a negative into a positive.  For example at the moment I am frequently moved by people who are touched by cancer either as a patient or care giver and who go on to provide support and hope to others.  I find that deeply motivating and it makes me want to do more.

What would you do differently if you were to start again? If you could give your younger self some advice what would it be?
Perhaps the biggest thing I would like to change is that I’ve always been plagued by severe self-doubt and been really tough on myself with lots of negative self-criticism.  I have a considerable expertise at identifying all the things I believe I have done wrong rather than allowing myself to enjoy successes.

Now a bit of that is a good thing, because it can keep you on your toes and I’m relieved to say that I am finally learning to channel it and turn it into a creative energy that enables me to achieve, but it has been a long hard battle.  So I think I would like to give my younger self a good talking to, so that I could stop wasting so much time dealing with negative unhelpful emotions.

What is the secret of happiness for you?
Watching Bowel Cancer UK strengthen, thrive and grow makes me happy because it means we really have a chance to have the impact we want – to save lives from and support people through bowel cancer.

However it’s my family that makes me happiest of all.  I have three beautiful children – boys of 16 and 14 and a little girl of 7.  Watching them grown and turn into wonderful people makes me both proud and happy.  Having enough time with them given the nature of my role and my daily five hour commute is difficult so time off with them is very precious.

If you could have any job you wanted (and you can’t choose your current one!) what would you absolute dream job be?
Now this is a difficult one.  Before my husband was diagnosed with cancer I had wanted to pursue an international career as I have a passion for international development and human rights, but we are tied to this country because of his ongoing treatment so I’ve had to give that up for now.

However my dream job would probably have some type of international component – looking at the international dimensions of cancer would fascinate me as it is a growing global issue yet the infrastructure in so many developing countries is very limited.  I would also be very interested in providing some training or mentoring to local charities in for example, Africa, to help them build their skills and build a sustainable local infrastructure.   You never know one day, once the children have left home, perhaps I will finally enrol for VSO and spend a year or two pursing the dream!

What advice would you give to any woman looking to work within the voluntary/charity sector?
If having an opportunity to work with like-minded people and making a difference matter to you, then go for it, but be aware you would earn more in the City!   One good way of finding out if it’s for you is to volunteer with a charity or two to get a feel of what they are like.  Remember there is a big difference between the infrastructure of the very large charities and many of the smaller ones.  You may find you get more boxed into a role in a larger organisation and they can be quite bureaucratic.

Smaller charities tend to be more flexible which means you can have the opportunity to get involved in a broader range of work, however the lack of resources can be extremely frustrating.  It all depends on what style and role you would most prefer.  Another reason volunteering can be helpful is that breaking into the charity sector can be difficult if you don’t have any experience so focusing on transferable skills and showing your commitment might help you stand out.

What’s your favourite saying/motivational quote/ fave book?
Can I cheat and have two favourite quotes?The first one is by Barack Obama, I love the sentiment in this and it rings very true to me:

‘Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it’s not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t. It’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.’

The second quote I’ve gone back to time and time again over the years, particularly when life has thrown me some tough challenges.  It has always given me hope that things will get better and the courage to embrace challenges as a necessary part of living.  It is from a longer section in ‘The Prophet’ by Kahlil Gibran entitled ‘On joy and sorrow’:

‘Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.And how else can it be?The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.’

Deborah, thank you so much for your time, your honesty and your unstinting work for what is still one of the unsung charities. I guess when it comes to our bowels we’d rather not discuss it!  But, having a had a bowel cancer scare myself last year I’m well aware that early detection and treatment is crucial. So, dear readers, please bookmark this link and share it widely. Thank you!

For more information on bowel cancer or on Bowel Cancer UK please visit www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk

3 Amazing Women Share their Success Secrets!

If you’re a regular reader of ChangingPeople you’ll know that one of my favourite sections is my inspirational women section. Over the years I’ve interviewed some amazing women who all have some great advice to share. I have picked out just three very different women to share with you in case you missed them. All different but all amazing!

Natasha Courtney-Smith is a journalist who set up her own hugely successful business. Read about how she managed to thrive despite an unexpected pregnancy!

Sarah Beeny is the well known TV presenter but did you know she ended up presenting because of a chance encounter at a party? Well that, and the fact that she’s very good at what she does!

Gee Backhouse actually did what so many of us dream of doing. She packed herself up and moved to France to follow her dream. Where she now makes gorgeous bespoke jewellery and lives la bonne vie!

I hope you enjoy reading about them and more importantly I hope they inspire you to make some positive changes in your own life! If you’ve been thinking about making changes, maybe it’s time tomake your thoughts a reality! Who knows, maybe I’ll be interviewing you next year?

There’s more here about working with me to make positive changes in your life!

Are You Making the Most of Life?

I was listening to a young teenage girl talking about ‘growing up’ the other day. She had such amazing life plans and ambitious goals and I really hope she fulfils them.So often though events tend to knock us off course and we need to take a bit of time to revisit our early ambition and put ourselves back on track.

Can you remember what your dreams and plans were before you left school? At one point in my early teenage years (and I hardly know how to confess this to you) I thought the pinnacle of being a successful woman was to support a good man! I can remember thinking “I must learn how to make proper coffee so I can be a good hostess”. Good grief!

Well, one ambition achieved, I can make bloomin’ good coffee! And I do support a good man, but crucially he also supports me in my life choices.

Later on, with maturity, my ambitions changed, and although I didn’t ever contemplate running my own business at a young age, I knew I wanted to have a degree of  independence, and I knew I wanted to be in a role that was useful. Actually, I wanted to change the entire world but that’s another story…

Look Back

What were your ambitions for your life? Did you set yourself goals in your early life? Did you have a clear picture of how you wanted your life to look? I was asked by a journalist recently what was the point of setting goals in life? Now, there is a whole raft of material there and goals can be small, big and in between, but basically my answer was - if you have an idea of where you want to be, it helps with all your decision making and helps you make the right choices for you.

Sometimes the right choice for you will be not to have a clear direction, but to take more risks and live more in the moment. The point is that it helps if we regularly review where we are and check out if we’re heading where we want to be, or if we’re drifting too far from our ultimate destination. Only you can know.

If you’re feeling vaguely dissatisfied with life don’t push the thoughts aside; take some time to consider why. Life is not about being happy all the time, but neither should it be about unhappiness. Take some control. Ask yourself:

• Is my unease/unhappiness caused by my personal relationship?
• Is it colleagues at work?
• Is it my role that is too demanding/undemanding?
• Am I bored too much of the time, in need of more stimulation?
• Do I see a clear picture of where I’ll be in a year? Three years? Five years?
• What can I do right now to take back some control of my life?

Despite what it may feel like from time to time, there are always things you can do. Take a look at some of the material on this site for a start, and also look at the inspirational women section on the site. There are some really good stories there from women who have truly grabbed back control. Or if work is not floating your boat at the moment, take a look at my book. You can simply talk to friends, ask their opinions and advice; remember you don’t have to take it but they may something that gives you a good insight, or sparks a train of thought for you.

Life is not always perfect, and a lot of things will happen that are not in our control. But a strong woman knows that how you react to life’s events is always in your gift. Don’t let yourself drift, grab a paddle and start steering your own direction!

Photo Credit: Vince Petaccio

Celia Mannings – Inspirational Woman!

Celia Mannings runs a successful photography business in the beautiful city of Bath (Celia took my latest web photo so I know how good she can make people look!) but her earlier career was in medicine. I was intrigued to find out more about why and how she changed careers.

Jane: Celia, please do tell us more about that change of career! On the face of it they don’t seem natural partners! Why and when the switch?
Celia: I never actually decided to switch- it was more a series of events that just happened. As an assistant GP, not a partner (my ex husband was in the army so I wasn’t able to commit) there was no job security. For me the important thing was continuity of care and building relationships with my patients, so the second time a practice I’d been working for decided they no longer needed assistants as they were advertising for partners, I decided that my burgeoning, lifelong hobby of photography could grow yet further! Then I hit on a year’s course that taught me to build a photography business properly; the most motivational lessons I’ve ever learnt (apart from you, Jane of course!) and I quickly realised it was going to be full time.

What were your aspirations when at school?
My best subject was biology. I worked hard at school, I was a bit of a swot! Early signs of my perfectionism were showing already. I was a straight A student. I had to know everything perfectly!I was also a Girl Guide and loved it. I got my photographer badge but I never got the launderess badge and I’m still bad at ironing! I’m still good at all the things I got badges for!

What made you choose medicine?
I really enjoyed sciences and biology. I was quite shy really so at that stage it was the workings of the human body that interested me. I also wanted to be a vet when very young. I even considered joining the Army and they told me being a doctor was better!
Did you ever join the army? I did and actually got a cadetship when at University and made some great and lasting friends. I was sponsored through University by the Army and had thought I would be working in Army hospitals through my training. But I had a house job in a civilian hospital and realised that I liked working with all manner of people and valued the emotional support I could give. I began to realise medicine was much more about people rather than an academic subject.

I went on and married in 1996 in the Officer Training Corp. That marriage gave me my two wonderful boys but sadly the relationship didn’t last. When I was 40 my husband and I separated and I set up my own business, having done a course the year before. My life really did begin at 40!

It’s a big leap from doctor to photographer, although I guess you see people feeling quite vulnerable in both cases! Have you used any of your medical training in your photographic role?
It really wasn’t such a big leap- again, for me, it’s always been about the relationships I build with people, and sharing important life events, even happy ones!- has led to lasting friendships. I sometimes know a couple before they marry for two years, and I photograph babies now instead of delivering them! Yes, definitely, I’m used to being with people who are feeling all sorts of different emotions, so it helps tremendously. (Although I’m often in tears too!) And I think it helps people to trust me- they know I’ll look after their friends and relatives on the day. I really make connections; I don’t think it’s possible to achieve intimate images without taking the time to develop a good relationship.

What makes photography so rewarding? What is best thing about it for you?
I have a sense of achievement when I’ve moved someone emotionally with my work. It’s a very unique way of giving happiness- I try to make a work of art out of people’s feelings, which is then something tangible they can keep and look back on, when, for example, their child has grown up and they no longer see that favourite expression that moved them so much. The best part is seeing how people feel when they see their images, and knowing I’ve had a part in creating that.

Which gender is easiest to please re photos?
Good question! The best pictures happen when the person has complete trust in me, because then they relax, so I don’t think it’s really a gender thing. Quite often I’ll meet ladies first, either at wedding fayres or through networking, and am then introduced to the guys later, but I do absolutely want it to be an equal experience for both, so no getting all girly and leaving the guys out! Ummm…on balance I’d say women have more issues about what they do or don’t like about themselves- but then it’s up to me to achieve a stunning picture and dispel any insecurities!

What’s the worst thing about being a professional photographer?
The worst part is the hours on the computer after taking the photographs, coupled with the fact that most people don’t realise the extent of the work involved. I think it’s the same for any business though- until you really find out about what someone does, you can’t fully appreciate the ‘behind the scenes’ effort. I’m also a bit of a technophobe who once vowed never to switch on a computer (or use a digital camera for that matter!) so it’s been a steep learning curve.

What has been best bit of advice you have ever been given?
To always keep learning, and to learn from the best. Not to be phased by rejection- failure is apparently a necessary step on the road to success! To always be looking for new ideas, creativity and inspiration.

How do you relax? Are you good at unwinding and leaving work behind?
Relax? What’s that?! No, I’m the first to admit I find it very hard to leave everything behind. But I love my boys, now 12 and 13, and try to find dedicated time to do things together. Currently they’re loving cooking experiments especially Nigella Lawson’s naughtier offerings which isn’t doing anything for my waistline! I also have an elderly and poorly boxer dog (who thinks he’s still a puppy), and I’ve recently rejoined the gym….fitting!

How does being a professional photographer fit in with family life?
It doesn’t is the short answer! It can be tough with early starts. Weddings are almost always at week ends. My sons board and are home at week ends so I always try to make sure I am home at least one day of the week end. I don’t use a studio as I prefer the creativity of natural light. I have to work hard at it. And my ex husband lives very close by so we share parenting! We actually get on very well now so that works well for the children!

What has been the most satisfying event in your life so far?
No one single event, just seeing my boys grow and develop. Matt, 13, suffered badly with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) when small; life was traumatic to say the least and we didn’t know if he’d go to a mainstream school. I have learned a lot about ADHD! One of the most important things I discovered was that children with ADHD get told off a lot, with lots of focus on their negative behaviour, so I made a conscious decision to praise my son as much as possible. I actually give quite a few talks on life with ADHD as I found the advice given to me was not always helpful.  Both boys are excelling now, and happy; I’m so proud of them I can’t tell you!

And I bet they are also very proud of their Mum! Thank you, Celia

If you’d like to see some of Celia’s work (and she has some fabulous pictures on her site) you can do so by simply following this link to Celia Mannings Photography

Women Are Wonderful!

Women are wonderful! That’s my official verdict on this week!

You might expect me to say that as I work primarily with women and run courses for women but this week I have been at two women’s conferences and been reminded afresh.

London Women

First, came the everywoman conference which I attend most years and always enjoy. I arrived tired and frankly, feeling a bit worn out (lots of work – hooray, and an overheated uncomfortable hotel room the night before – boo). But just a few moments in the company of so many positive women was truly energising and then I bumped into the lovely Sarah Pennels (aka Savvy Woman, her interview on the site is here.) Joy!

The first speaker at everywoman was Sam Roddick. It was wonderful to listen to a business woman speak from the heart about running her business her way and not getting caught up in the trap of trying to behave like a man. Her best quote (paraphrased as was too busy applauding to write it down):

“Why is it OK for men to get angry but when women show their frustration or emotion through tears it’s wrong. I’m upset, I cry. Deal with it or get therapy!”

There is a great interview with Sam here on ‘Lipstick Liberation’. I wanted to scoop her up and bottle her energy!

It was a great day; I took the opportunity to reflect on my own business and where I was directing my energies and I reckon I have saved myself 4 grand by taking that time out! That’s a result by anyone’s standards. Thanks everywoman! See you next year!

Bristol Women

And then the very next day found me in Bristol, at the wonderful Alveston House Hotel. (I know they have won awards but I’m giving them my loveliest staff in Britain award! I was so well looked after all day and their staff are just brilliant!)

But I wasn’t there to review the hotel (!) but to be a speaker at the first ever Business Inspired conference. No sitting back this time; I was opening the conference. Thank you, Business Inspired, for the honour!

I do quite a bit of public speaking so didn’t feel nervous until I heard the introduction I was getting from Janice and Alison. “Blimey”, I thought, “I’d better be good!”

Sometimes you just know when something is going to work and I knew as soon as I stood up and saw the sea of smiling encouraging faces that it was going to be OK.  I’m sometimes told that women together are bit*hy and unsupportive. That has never been my experience. In general I find groups of business women support and encourage each other with very little overt competitiveness and huge generosity. And I thank them for their generosity to me. I came away glowing and certainly got as much back from them as I gave them.

Time Out

Both conferences served their purpose well. They refreshed and re energised me, ready to re enter the ‘fray’ of running my own business with new ideas and thoughts. Times may be hard (and potentially getting harder) for small businesses, but there is support and help out there. Women’s friendships are very important to them. Give freely of your support, take support where it is offered and continue to be wonderful!

And if you were at either of the conferences, I’d love to hear what you gained from them. Please do add a comment!

Sarah Beeny – Inspirational Woman!

Update! Many of you will have seen Sarah’s recent TV programme, Restoration Nightmare in which she renovated her huge stately home to use as a wedding venue. She mentioned the house in her original interview with me but I had no idea of the tremendous amount of work involved! And so I asked her a few follow up questions, which you can see below…

I was really thrilled when Sarah Beeny agreed to give Changing People an interview; she is a TV personality I much admire and her output is prodigious! Not only TV programmes, but also two web sites, one on dating and one on her first love, property.

Jane: Sarah, thanks so much for taking some time out of your busy working life to talk with us. And that busy schedule includes TV work, like ‘Your House is falling Down’ and ‘Property Ladder.’ You also run ‘Tepilo’, a market leading private property site and ‘My Single Friend’ a dating website where friends can nominate a single friend. It’s exhausting just listing it all! Share your secrets, please!

So, my first question is, how do you manage to juggle all your commitments?
Sarah: It can get very interesting – I’m a bit of a control freak and not very good at delegating. Sometimes I do feel a little like I’m drowning, but then that’s my own fault for taking it all on. I don’t like letting people down, and there’s always a long list of things I should be doing. My children have been and always will be my priority – and I just have to make time for the rest when I can. I have a great team of people around me, including my husband, so I’m lucky in that respect.

How did you first get into TV work? Were you already involved in property?
Yes, property has always been in my blood really. My father was an architect and I was immersed in property from an early age. I started a property development company with my brother and husband when I was 24. Getting on TV after that was just coincidence really – I met a producer at a hen party, went for a screen test and was thrown in at the deep end after that.

You always seem so enthusiastic on TV and your pregnancies have been much commented on. (You now have 4 children). Has it ever caused you any problems professionally being so obviously a parent? Eg How do the workmen react to you when you start clambering on roofs?
Just to set the record straight here I have 4 boys – so I haven’t been pregnant non stop for the last 20 years or anything – although sometimes it does feel like it. I’ve always been quite hands on, so I love getting stuck into projects – I don’t think anyone has been able to stop me so far. Being a working parent has actually been good for my career I think and it’s nice to be able to encourage other mothers or fathers to get out there and work at the same time as looking after the family.

How do you cope with comments about your appearance? Does it bother you? You seem on the surface well able to take it in your stride but does it ever get to you?
It doesn’t really bother me to be honest – people will always have their views and they’re welcome to them – hopefully I can take most of it in my stride. Mostly I’m flattered by how many lovely people there are out there.

What was your school career like? Were there any hints of the media career to follow?
I was quite entrepreneurial from a young age actually, so there was probably more sign of the businesses coming out – I studied Drama, so I guess that’s where the TV side of things originated, but I hadn’t predicted that things would turn out the way they have.

Your dating site is quite a departure from your property interests. What prompted you to start that?
The idea for mysinglefriend.com came from real life. I’m known amongst my friends as a bit of a matchmaker and I was always trying to set people up on dates. I reached the point where I had run out of people so thought there must be somewhere I can post a profile of my friends and use the web to find them someone. It then kind of grew from there and more and more people started to use the site.

If you could give your younger self some advice now, what would it be?
Don’t give up piano lessons and find a hobby that means you never have to consciously commit to ‘exercise’.

Who most inspires you now on a professional level?
I think most of the many entrepreneurs and people starting their own companies are inspirational – it’s great to see so many great ideas being developed and the effort put in, lengths people go to and sacrifices made to succeed. 

What has been your biggest achievement to date, the thing you are most proud of?
That would have to be my children – but I’m very proud of my websites and where they have got to. Tepilo seems to be growing very quickly now.

What’s been the best mistake you ever made?
That would probably be my children too…

How do you recharge your batteries?
We have a house in Yorkshire that we escape to. We’ve been renovating it over the last year or so, so I’m not sure it’s been so relaxing recently, but it’s time out from our busy work schedule and most importantly time together as a family.

Having now seen Restoration Nightmare I can’t imagine that it was relaxing at all, although I can see that it made a break from what you normally do! It seems your heart truly ruled your head when you bought that lovely property. Do you think people should buy homes with their heart and investment properties with their heads?
Yes, well to some extent – you always need to have a head involved, but if you’re buying somewhere to settle for a few years and fall in love with the property, then surely the pleasure you get from it is worth something, and there’s a good chance it will be there for others too.

You talked often about how much you loved Rise Hall, almost as if it were a house with a personality. Do you think buildings do ‘give out’ in this way, that it’s possible to pick up atmospheres and feelings from buildings? By the way, I speak as someone who bought her first and only home over 30 years because it ‘felt right’ as soon as I was inside the front door, although nothing else was right! The house (no Rise Hall but a small stone built box!) is about 100 years old and we are only the third people to have lived in it, so I think it must have exerted that pull on others!
I would certainly like to think so – but it’s really the fact that they become part of your life, a project that you work over the years on and something you add your own personality to. Make a house a home is still one of the best sayings.

In your experience who makes the major decisions in relationships about house buying? Are men less emotional than women, or is that stereotypical nonsense? And who has the last word in choosing the wedding venues?
I think it’s actually quite mixed – a lot of the time it’s the person who is most dominant in the relationship, other times it’s the one spending most time there.

What advice would you give to someone buying their first home now?
For first time buyers it’s all about finance – be careful what you borrow and spend time working out what you can afford. It’s not worth the sleepless nights if you struggle.

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve been given?
Positive things happen to positive people.

What advice would you give anyone wanting to follow in your footsteps?
You should only regret things you don’t do, not things you do – so be brave and go for it.

Sarah, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us, I really appreciate it. Many thanks!
And if you’d like to take a look at Sarah’s websites, My Single Friend is here , Tepilo, her property site can be found here, and if you’d like to check out ‘Help, My House is falling Down!’ click here!  And if you have any thoughts to share on what makes a house a home and how you decided to buy your home, please comment below!