Dream and Be Happy!
It’s true that happiness is in the now, but thinking about positive events you’ve experienced in the past (and anticipating those you might have in the future) can actually increase your happiness levels in the present moment.
I was reminded of this following a conversation with a friend planning for a forthcoming wedding. He was concerned that all the anticipatory talk would lead to a sense of anti climax when it actually happened. On the contrary, I replied, often all the anticipatory talk adds to the overall enjoyment of the event.
“Savoring past pleasurable experiences boosts your positive emotions in the present, and positive emotions are the key to happiness,” says Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of Happiness (Penguin, 2008).
The Happiness Bank
However, this doesn’t work if thinking of good times fills you with melancholia because those times are in the past. The key is to tap into the pleasure and good feelings the event provided, not bemoan the fact that the experience is now behind you. I treasure happy moments as they are happening and also metaphorically deposit them in my ‘happiness bank’. If you can use all your senses the experience can be even more vivid; conjure up the smells, sounds, sights etc..
And the act of anticipating happy events — even one as seemingly banal as watching a comedy show — can be equally as uplifting. Recent research has even shown that you don’t need to actually laugh to reap the effects. People who were planning to watch their favourite comedies had a significant increase in mood-enhancing hormones even before the programme started.
So, if you don’t have time today to spend a little time in pleasurable day dreaming, record an episode of your favourite funny show and look forward to watching in the evening!
What’s the best memory in your happiness bank?
Make Yourself Happy – help someone!
If you’re feeling a bit despondent about the economy or your own personal circumstances, don’t despair. Research has shown time and time again that doing something for someone else, helping someone, can make us feel better about ourselves – make us happier.
The Little Things in Life
It doesn’t need to be a big thing: hold a door open, smile at a stranger, give up your seat, ring someone you know is lonely, make a point of telling someone you like their work, make a small donation to charity.
That last one is called prosocial spending by the way. Previous research has found that money doesn’t necessarily make you happy. Some researchers at the University of British Columbia decided to test this a little further and look at how people actually spent their money; they had an hypothesis that it was how the money was used that was significant.
People not Stuff
They discovered that those who spent at least a third of their money on others felt much happier than those who spent it all on material possesions for themselves. (Although it seems entirely possible that those people helped others, regardless of their income and just continued to do it when they had funds! The money need not be relevant to their happiness levels at all.)
However, the study fits in neatly with a growing body of research that finds that helping others is the best way to help yourself, that people who give more and are more socially connected are happier. Give it a go!
A Tussie-Mussie is Good for You!
If you don’t know what a Tussie-Mussie is let me enlighten you! A Tussie-Mussie is a small bouquet, and 
bouquets of flowers, small, large or simply hand picked are really good for you!
Elizabethan Origins
Tussie-mussies have been around since Elizabethan times and are a nosegay of flowers, grasses and herbs first used to ward off illness and vile smells in the streets – especially the plague, although I don’t think it was particularly effective! You literally walked around with your nose stuck in the bouquet (do you think it works with swine flu?)
The Secrets of Flowers
As times progressed it seems the composition of flowers and herbs were used to give specific messages. In Victorian times would be suitors gave the objects of their affection a Tussie-Mussie filled with flowers and herbs ripe with symbolism. Most young women would either know, (or possess a book that told them), the various meanings of the flowers.
Some plants have kept their symbolic meanings through the years. These include rosemary for Remembrance; ivy for Fidelity; lilies for Purity; laurel for Victory; parsley for Festivity; and rose for Love. Additional meanings include: artemesia for Dignity; basil for Best Wishes; Calla lily for Panache; red geranium for Comfort and Health; hydrangea for Devotion; sage for Wisdom; pine for Loyalty and Longevity.
Flowers Make You Happy!
However, research has shown that our love of flowers goes deeper than just symbolism. The research into the impact of flowers on our emotions was carried out at the State University of New Jersey. A team of researchers explored the link between flowers and life satisfaction in a 10-month study of participants’ behavioural and emotional responses to receiving flowers. The results show that flowers are a natural and healthful moderator of moods.
Flowers have an immediate impact on happiness. All study participants expressed “true” or “excited” smiles upon receiving flowers, demonstrating extraordinary delight and gratitude. This reaction was universal, occurring in all age groups.
Flowers have a long-term positive effect on moods. Specifically, study participants reported feeling less depressed, anxious and agitated after receiving flowers, and demonstrated a higher sense of enjoyment and life satisfaction.
Flowers make intimate connections. The presence of flowers led to increased contact with family and friends.
Make Someone Happy!
I have never needed an excuse to have flowers in the house; it is an extravagence of mine but now I know why! They make me feel happy and generous and good! Research says so! Go on, take someone some flowers today, and don’t forget to have some for yourself. Put a bunch on your desk today!
Perspectives on Happiness
“The word ‘happiness’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness”
Carl Jung
“Happiness comes when your work and words are of benefit to yourself and others.”
Buddha
“When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace.”
The Dalia Lama
Warm the Cockles of Your Heart!
This link will take you to a lovely story which I guarantee will leave you with a smile on your face! It is really heartwarming so if you’re feeling a bit fed up with life, or simply want to be reminded of how wonderful people can be, click here
Friends Are So Good for You!
When times are hard remember who your friends are. You know that an hour spent with a good friend can give you a real boost and there is plenty of scientific research to tell you why.
Happiness is Catching
Yes, it’s true, you can catch happiness from your friends. Isn’t that wonderful? Researchers at California University and Harvard measured the happiness of almost 5000 people over a period of 20 years. What they found was that when an individual was happy it spread through their network of friends, and then their friend’s friends! And what’s more the effect could last for up to one year!
Women’s Friendships
You will probably have heard of the flight/fight response, when our bodies respond to a stressful situation by releasing adrenalin, to help us either fight our way out or run like the clappers! Well, some women scientists have looked again at this original research which was carried out only on men. They have discovered that when under stress women release the hormone, oxytocin. Oxytocin is the ‘love’ hormone. The hormone that helps women bond with their newborn babies, for example.
Turn to a Friend
When women are under stress they are actually helped by being with their friends. We like to talk things through. We’re not gossiping, we need to talk, we’re managing our stress. For years women’s talk has been downgraded as ‘gossip’. Now you know what to say next time that accusation is levelled at you!
