Women Lack Confidence…?
If I am forced to sum up what I do in three words I will say ‘boost women’s confidence‘.
I actually do a myriad of things, from courses, coaching, seminars, and writing but the leitmotif of all my work is giving women the confidence to fulfil their potential. To be all that they can be, whether that is about career progression or giving it all up and growing vegetables!
I was really interested therefore, to read of a survey undertaken by the Institute of Leadership and Management, Ambition & Gender. They spoke to 3,000 managers to find out what drives career ambition and to explore the barriers preventing women’s progression into senior management and leadership positions.
Confidence
Among their findings was the fact that women are less confident of their abilities than men. Over half of the women admitted to feelings of self doubt compared with 31% of men.
I don’t know why this might be but suspect a lot of it is to do with our attitudes to getting more women into senior positions. The tendency is to ‘fix’ women to behave more like men and not value as highly that which women bring to the workplace. In coaching, I often find women berating themselves for not being more ambitious or ruthless, yet closer questioning reveals it’s much more about the compromises required to get there, rather than ability to do the job. As Penny de Valk, ILM’s chief executive says, the research highlights some of the complex dynamics of what is, in many cases, still a male-centric work culture.
Coaching Promotes Women’s Confidence
Penny went on to say that it is crucial that employers who are serious about gender diversity take steps to find ways to nuture women’s ambitions.
“This means developing transparent talent management systems and introducing leadership career models and development approaches that flex to meet individuals’ differing needs. Coaching and mentoring, in particular, have an invaluable role to play. We know that gender diversity drives organisations’ financial performance. Business leaders should need no encouragement to ensure their most talented employees move into leadership roles, regardless of their gender”
I have a whole series of career tips for women but perhaps my best single tip is to remember that the internal messages we give ourselves are hugely powerful. They can boost or diminish our confidence. If you are carrying round in your head some negative internal spam, identify them, then neutralise them, then replace them with something positive and inspiring!
And if you’d like to find out more about working with me, please do contact me for an informal discussion.
If Women Ruled the World
If women ruled the world….
I ask this question on my Women Ahead course (designed to boost women’s confidence to move ahead at work) in order to illustrate how the world of work as we know it, could be different. It’s not about having a go at men but about thinking from a different perspective, expanding our horizons of what could be, and maybe understanding better why things are as they are.
Think about it for a minute. The world of work as we know it now evolved during the Industrial Revolution, when labour moved largely off the land into cities and a different type of employment. Professional men went to work and systems of working emerged dependent largely on the fact that there were women at home to literally keep the home fires burning. (Of course, women and children were busy working for a pittance in the factories etc; they had no voice in how things evolved.)
Women had little or no part in how work was organised.
Imagine though if we had. Allow yourself to imagine if the working world as we know it had been designed solely for women – all women. Imagine that men were at home, (apart from the poor ones who would be working very hard but for far less money than us) and imagine that actually most of the time it wasn’t even thought appropriate to educate them as, well, they were just going to marry successful working women and keep home. It would be a waste of investment. And as for getting the vote….what nonsense.
I have no doubt that different systems would have evolved. We might have a totally different working day, not 9-5 at all. We would certainly have very sophisticated maternity and child care arrangements because we would have been very important people. Systems would have evolved to support us. And they would be considered normal. School hours may have been designed differently. Just try and imagine. How many things would be different?
And I am also sure that as time went on and men began to get involved as society evolved they would find themselves at a disadvantage in the systems we had designed. But they would do their best because it was the way of the world and if they wanted to get on they would have to adapt. They would have to suppress some of their instinctive behaviour and behave like us, the dominant culture. We would have set the standards for behaviour in the world of work.
And as time went on, we women wouldn’t really have an incentive to change because actually it works quite well for us and anyway, some men can cope very well. Why look, there is that well known financier guy who is one of the 12.5% of men who has made it to the board in that company listed in the FTSE 100. So it’s fine, isn’t it? Obviously we’d like to see more men on boards but we can’t legislate for changing societal attitudes. We’ll ‘nudge’ them. We’ll encourage them, yes, that’ll do something.
Sometimes we need legislation to change society’s attitudes. If we hadn’t done that in the past, women wouldn’t be voting, children would still be working, and homosexuals would still be persecuted.
Is Your Handbag a Status Symbol?
Once again, a BBC radio 4 programme prompted this post; in this case the prestigious flagship news programme, Today. At the end of the programme they tend to have a slightly flippant item (because obviously all the serious folk have gone to work!).
This particular item was about women’s handbags and how they provide an ice breaker for women in business. It followed an interview Hillary Clinton had given to Harper’s Bazaar magazine. This is what she said:
“I do love a good handbag,” she agrees. Can accessories be the great uniter of women? “I think they could be either a great divider or uniter,” she replies. “I’m on the uniter side. I think no one should make fun of anyone else’s handbag choices.” She warms to the topic. “I think we should be united in our support of one another. Because this is like a deep psychological need. It’s a desire to kind of organize and contain that which is important to you in your daily life. I have a philosophical view about this, and I have this Ferragamo hot-pink bag that I adore. My view was that I would carry it around only in spring, but it makes me so happy, I’m even now lugging it around in January. I mean, how can you be unhappy if you pick up a big pink bag?”
To discuss these remarks from one of the most influential women in America they had invited a female UK politician, Glenys Kinnock and an ex politician now pundit, Matthew Parris. Neither of them lightweights so my interest was piqued.
At first I was irritated. Here we go I thought, trivialising women again but then my sense of humour reasserted itself. Hillary Clinton had not been asked for her political views; everyone knows she is a serious, well established and committed politician. She was talking to a fashion magazine about the things which made her happy and which, presumably, gave her confidence a bit of a boost. Does it matter? Maybe they were being more stereotypical by asking a gay man on to comment?
Men and Women are Different
Sorry to state the bl***ing obvious but men and women are different in this respect. It’s not that all women think clothes and handbags are of paramount importance. It’s simply that some of us get pleasure from them, some of the time (it’s a whole other debate about advertising and brainwashing of young girls etc but that aside, I think women feel differently about these things).
Glenys Kinnock proffered the view that at meetings (I think she actually referred to international summits) handbags and shoes could be a great way of connecting, of levelling the ground. Admiring another woman’s bag or shoes was like extending a hand of friendship.
Matthew Parris’ response was interesting and illuminating. He first said his mother hated handbags. But then more interestingly that men would probably not say anything complimentary about another man’s attire or possessions at a business meeting because they would be using bags/wallets/shoes/laptops (paraphrasing now) to convey their status and authority. In other words, they would not want to be facilitative and levelling. They would want to be top dog.
Research
That ties in with received wisdom and some research into how men and women behave in business. Women are generally more conciliatory and facilitative. And generally that is thought to be a possible factor in why women don’t rise to the top- we lack the killer instinct. Yet by every measure Hillary must be seen as a woman at ‘the top’, even if she didn’t get the presidential nomination. She’s a success story. So she can talk about handbags…
(Of course, there is always an exception. I doubt whether Maggie Thatcher ever complimented anyone on their handbag in order to be conciliatory!)
What do you think? Are you turned off by discussions about handbags? Do you think it belittles and demeans serious women? Or do you think the world would be a better place if we all carried beautiful colourful bags around? Men too!
Take Off Your Pyjamas!
Actually, that’s a message to me; I promise I haven’t suddenly gone all weird on you (well, no weirder than normal!) Read on…
Last week a lovely researcher from BBC’s Women’s Hour contacted me about a comment I’d made on women changing their names after marriage. I didn’t change mine and frankly am always nonplussed that women do, (although I respect everyone’s right to do what they want!) It’s not a legal requirement in UK, more a convention that has its roots in women having no rights and belonging to their husbands, but I’ll step off my women and empowerment soap box and get on with the post!
Radio Star?
The plan was that if time permitted, I would be called to share my views with the panel on the Women’s Hour programme, hosted by Jane Garvey. It wouldn’t really be decided until the day but if I was wanted I’d get a call about 10.00. I had no qualms about what I might say but didn’t expect to be thinking about what I was wearing. This was radio after all!
Now this may come as a shock to you, (!) but when I am working from home I am more likely to be found in old joggers and outsize jumper than smart working gear. And sometimes (sit down now) I don’t even get dressed until I have written for an hour or three and suddenly realise it’s 10.30! I know, it’s totally shocking! I am not always immaculate! As you all are…all the time…I expect. (Although I never coach in my jimjams. I just can’t do it!)
Dressing UP
So, 9.00 a.m. found me at my pc having already responded to several emails and I suddenly realised I wasn’t properly dressed. There was no one in the house, I wasn’t coaching, had no meetings, and the postman’s seen it all before. But I knew I couldn’t stay like that. If Jane spoke to me I am sure she would have known I was dishabille!
So I had to go and get dressed as I do when I’m working, proper working you know, with people looking at me!
I made myself laugh out loud, but actually there is a slightly serious point to be made here. Looking like a scruffy old woman would have taken a little bit of my confidence away. Dressing like someone who knew what she was talking about actually boosted my confidence, even though no one could see me!
It’s fascinating isn’t it? I think most women feel better if they think they look good but I was surprised that it worked even when no one can hear you scream. I mean see you working.
How about you? Are you affected by what you wear even when alone? I’d love to hear from you, especially if you’re women who work from home!
PS All my dressing efforts were in vain as I never got the call! I was mentioned on the show, but no actual appearance. I’m really glad I didn’t go as far as eye-liner now!
PPS. If the knowledge that I always dress well when coaching has enticed you to work directly with me, click here now!
Role of Women in Innovation & Capitalism
I am featuring an interview with Avivah Wittenberg-Cox in a forthcoming newsletter (sign up here if you’re not already a subscriber).
Avivah is the co-author of ‘Why Women Mean Business‘ and sole author of ‘How Women Mean Business‘ addressing gender bilingualism in the business world of today.
Here is a short video of Avivah, live at the OECD (Organisation for Economic Co-operation & Development). I hope you enjoy listening to her! Click here.
How Women Mean Business!
‘How Women Mean Business’ is the follow up to the highly successful ‘Why Women Mean Business’ which Avivah Wittenberg-Cox co authored with Alison Maitland. I loved that book as you can see from my review, so approached its successor with no little trepidation. Could it be even half as good as the first?
‘How Women Mean Business’ is a solo effort from Avivah . It has a sub title of: ‘A Step by Step Guide to Profiting from Gender Balanced Business’. And that is exactly what you get – a manual of how to successfully introduce gender bilinguality into your organisation and a copy should be in every HR department and library. It is another excellent resource book!
Four Stages
The book takes the reader comprehensively through 4 stages to achieve a more representative gender balance in business. The four stages are:
Audit – looking at the actual statistics in an organisation, benchmarking, and talking to employees, women and men.
Awareness – ensuring top managers truly understand the case for gender balance and the opportunities it presents them.
Alignment – training requirements, the talent in the organisation.
Sustain – how you maintain the change and measure progress.
Here’s an extract from a section on inviting senior managers to a first meeting on achieving gender balance:
“Avoid invitations signed by HR, Diversity, or a women’s association. That would limit and label participant’s view of the session before they even enter the room.
The invitation should introduce gender balance as a strategic lever for achieving other 21st century change initiatives.
Be careful………[not to call it] something like ‘Gender Training’ sessions generating endless jokes before the session starts. Instead, describe the session as a strategic debate, not as a training or awareness workshop. The invitation must start with the key messages, vocabulary, and positioning of the effort. That way, it will control how the issue is perceived, and what response it prompts.”
Role Models
As well as pithy and practical advice on the actual steps to take, the book also gives examples of organisations that have had success not only with gender issues, but also increased profitability. I will be featuring some of these examples in other blog posts as it’s an absolute treasure trove of information.
Highly Recommended
You’ll have guessed by now that this is a book I highly recommend. It’s not an easy read but it’s an interesting and informative one. I read the latter half of it while stuck on a train and realised I was mouthing ‘yes, yes! ‘ a lot of the time, possibly creating the wrong impression of the type of book I was reading to my fellow passengers…
But as a feminist it is pure joy to read this type of book. It doesn’t simply point out the faults in most of the working environments in the western world, but it gives an entirely credible and practical approach for remedying them. If you’re seriously interested in gender issues, man or woman, go buy it!
The book is available from all good bookshops, libraries, and Amazon and is published by Wiley. ISBN 978-0-470-68884-7
