How Inspirational Are You?

If you’ve looked at my Inspirational Women section, or receive my regular newsletter, you will see that I have a series of interviews with women all chosen to inspire YOU! I know from the many emails you send me that they do inspire you, and that you love the series. Thank you!

So I thought it might be fun if I asked you some of the questions. Please choose one or two to answer and share with other readers via the comments section of  the blog. Don’t compare, never compare. You are unique. Something you have to say might just be the magic push someone else needs to make a significant change in their life!

Here are some typical interview questions that I ask of my Inspirational Women. Answer them honestly about yourself, no hiding of lights!

Your Questions

1) What was your very first paid job, and do you use any skills you acquired then in your present role?

2) Which person had had the biggest influence in your life so far?

3) What is the best piece of advice you have been given?

4) What is the best piece of advice you have ever given and to whom?

5) Have you ever encountered sexism in your working or personal life and if so, how did you deal with it?

6) How do you relax?

7) Did you plan your career/life or have events just happened?

8) What has been your best mistake and why?

9) What is the best thing for you when you’re feeling stressed?

10) What is your favourite saying, or piece of poetry, or book?

11) What has been your biggest achievement to date, the thing in your life that you are most proud of?

12) If you could change one thing in your life right now, what would it be?

Even if you don’t want to share any of your answers, do have a go at the questions. And forward this link to anyone you think would enjoy answering them too. I think you’ll end up inspiring yourself! In my experience, most women are very good at underselling themselves and it takes an exercise like this that makes you realise just how WONDERFUL YOU ARE!

Are You in Charge?

When times are tough does an inner victim take over, or do you take charge of your own destiny?

Economically times are tough now, particularly if you work within the public sector. There is a high level of uncertainty about security of employment, future roles, and the knowledge that, even if your job is safe, perhaps adequate funding to do it is not.

 In short, it’s not currently a great place to be. I work within the public sector a lot, indeed I was a manager and practitioner in both, and my heart goes out to the individuals who are coping with the uncertainty that now hovers over them. This post is dedicated to all those facing huge uncertainty; many people in the private sector will find it resonates too.

How to Take Charge?

One of the reasons we find it so challenging is because we feel we have no control over events; it feels like we’re on the back foot, waiting to react to events as they occur. And that makes us feel helpless. And feeling helpless makes us feel like a victim, possibly like a child, which in turn saps our confidence and leaves us feeling inadequate: less able to cope with what may be coming. A vicious cycle.

I have lots of coaching clients at the moment who feel very vulnerable and exposed; and as their confidence levels dip so does their ability to cope.

A common reaction is to try and ignore what is happening, to stay in denial for as long as possible. A certain amount of ostrich like behaviour is normal, but for your own self respect and sanity, take back some control.

Questions

Knowledge is power and empowering. You need some information that is particular to you before you make any decisions, or are bounced into making decisions! Simply exploring all your options in case your job disappears does not make it any more like to happen. Facing your fears does put you in control!

Here are some questions it’s worth knowing the answers to:

• How much do you actually need to live on?
• What are your regular outgoings?
• What is your status vis a vis redundancy? Do you know what your entitlement would be if redundancy was on offer/proposed?
• How do you look after yourself best, keep yourself well and manage your stress levels?
• Are you currently doing any of those things? Or planning to do them?
• Who are the friends who support and sustain you? Your radiators?
• How have you coped with significant life change in the past (and you will have coped with lots of changes!)
• What’s your worst fear about the changes afoot? Is it possible loss of income? Role? Status? Companionship? Stimulation?
• What would you love to do if you weren’t in your current role?

If you can answer all of those questions you will be well on the way to taking back some of the control that uncertainty wrests from you. You can’t do much about the economic situation we find ourselves in, or the political decisions being made which affect your life.

But you can CHOOSE how you react!

Nobody can take your ability to hold your own thoughts away from you. And you can make a choice about those thoughts. I don’t mean some trite ‘think beautiful thoughts and change the universe’ philosophy. No, instead I am talking about holding onto to your sense of self, not giving away your own power; being aware that you are so much more than the sum of your parts and the job description you have, and making the choice not to be a victim!

If you find yourself in a time of uncertainty I hope the above is of some use to you. If this is a situation you have previously experienced it would be great to hear how you came through, what worked and what didn’t.  I am currently writing a programme to help employees survive and thrive in times of uncertainty. I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas!

If you manage staff then this may be of interest!

Are You Flexible Enough?

‘If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll  get what you’ve always got‘ the old adage says, but actually in times of change and economic recession even just getting what you’ve always got is no longer guaranteed!

If you run a successful business you will know that you have to keep a weather eye on the economic climate, competitors, fashion and so on to maintain an edge. If you’re successful you know that you have to keep being flexible and offering what your clients want and need. You have to be prepared to change.

But if you are an employee are you as flexible?

Assess Yourself

I was coaching a business owner a while back who was talking about changes that had to be made within the company. Her dilemma was that she had some very good staff and some OK staff. All were loyal with low sickness records etc but she knew that over the course of the next year there would probably have to be a reduction in staffing levels. I asked her to consider which staff gave her most value and I didn’t mean staff who worked for less, or longer unpaid hours. They weren’t offering her any additional value; simply turning up and doing your job without mishap is not enough when jobs are at risk. We were talking about staff who were enthusiastic, offered ideas, undertook training, sometimes even of their own volition.

If you are employed it might be worth taking time out to reflect on your flexibility. What changes are afoot in your industry or business? Can you see a new skill base being required in the not too distant future? How can you add value to what you bring to your role? If the future looks uncertain have you considered alternatives? When did you last undertake professional/job related training?What alternative sources of employment are there in your vicinity? If you were suddenly to be unemployed, how would you manage?

Being prepared to face up to potential problems can lessen their impact and put you ahead of the field.

And if you did have to change your current role, what opportunities might there be?

If you’ve been in this position I’d love to hear from you and how you coped. Did you use an outside resource like a careers advisor? A coach? A CV expert? Did your company provide helpful support? What would you advise others? Did you see the change coming?

6 Questions to Help Your Thinking!

At times we can fall into a pattern of thinking that is unhelpful to us.

Here is an example:

You are late for work one morning and when you arrive a group of your colleagues are in a little huddle. You automatically assume they are complaining to each other about your lateness.

Because you think they are talking about you, you don’t offer an explanation for your lateness but go to your desk without speaking. And you have a miserable day, reviving in your head every negative experience you have ever had at work, feeling more and more miserable and unhappy.

Challenge Your Thinking

Here’s a list of questions to use to challenge your perceptions:

What are the actual facts?
I was late for work and people were engaged in conversation when I arrived.

What are my perceptions?
That they were talking about my unreliability and my being late.

What evidence supports my perceptions?
No one talked to me all morning

What evidence contradicts my perceptions?
No one has made any comment about my lateness. We’ve all been really busy this morning, heads down because it’s reports day. Generally there is a friendly atmosphere and I haven’t had any problems before.

Is my thinking unhelpful?
I am immediately jumping to negative conclusions.

How else can I look at what happened?
I didn’t offer any explanation so they are respecting my privacy. They may have been worrying about me, not talking unkindly about me. They may even have been talking about my birthday which is next week. I have no evidence of what they were talking about at all. My silence stopped them talking to me as they may have thought I was upset.

In fact, there are loads of alternative explanations so ask yourself why you have chosen the one with least favourable consequences for you?

Socrates

If you can teach yourself this form of self questioning you’ll be following a long and noble tradition begun by Socrates. You are employing Socratic questioning and holding your thoughts up to logical scrutiny. Try it out next time you find yourself jumping to conclusions, and let me know how you get on!

Are You Following YOUR Dream?

I know it sounds like a daft question, but if you feel you never quite achieve some of your aims and aspirations ask yourself,

‘Is this my goal, my dream, or have I taken on someone else’s? Is this something I really want to do or is it something I think I should be doing?’

For example, when I’m coaching we’ll sometimes find ourselves ’stuck’ at a particular point with the coachee reluctant to take the steps needed to fully realise their ambition.

So here are some of the coaching questions I often ask in order to help them tease out their level of motivation:

• What will achieving this goal mean for you?
• If you achieve this goal what else will it bring you?
• What might stop you having what you want?
• How will achieving this goal affect other people in your life?
• What or who do you think is biggest barrier in fully realising this goal?
• If you could wave a wand and achieve your goal right now, would you be happy?

If you’re feeling a bit stuck with your progress, try honestly answering these questions. Try and visualise yourself having achieved the goal and see how your life looks. If you listen to your inner voice you should know whether this is something YOU really want.