I’m a Feminist, Do You Want a Fight?

It’s really strange but sometimes when I say I’m a feminist I could swear people hear the words, ‘Do you wanna fight?’ That one word can produce such hostile and defensive responses, often accompanied by a list of women in power to disprove the need for me to have such nonsensical ideas. (Interestingly it’s always the same list of women, rather proving my point…)

So for the record…

I LOVE MEN.

Being a feminist is not, in my book, about putting men down. Helping women succeed does not mean I want men to fail.

I do not think women are better than men.

I do not think men are better than women.

I do think women are often unwittingly placed at a disadvantage because our business world is largely man made, male behaviours are the norm and those are rewarded. I occasionally get cross about that; I’d passionately like to see a world where what both genders bring to the table is valued equally. I work with women to help them overcome some of these hurdles, as well as on other issues – see here. But it’s not at the expense of putting down men. (And in truth, I sometimes work with men too!)

Radio Interview

In a recent radio interview I was asked “So you think women make better politicians than men? You think they would be better at politics than men?”

“No“, I replied, “but I do think politics would be better“.

In truth, I think the whole world would be better if we fully included and made space for, at all levels, the qualities and strengths that women bring. Until we make that possible, I think we’re missing out on a lot of talent and potential.

So, take off the gloves, sit down and let’s talk! What do you think?

Photo Credit: Paigefiller.com

What Can You ‘Upcycle’ in Your Life?

I love that word ‘‘upcycle‘.  It means reuse something, recycle something by adding something to it. Not throwing something away when it appears to have outlived its usefulness to you, but doing something to it which adds to its value or appeal.

New for Old

I was prompted to write this following a short break from work with my daughter, (I recommended a break if you can-you’ll find yourselves thinking about loads of things you can upcycle without even trying!)

In my absence my darling husband had begun work on painting our kitchen units. Last year we upgraded the work tops to blue pearl granite (gorgeous since you ask) but kept the solid wood cupboards as they were still in perfect order. But they had a wood stain which was out of keeping with the granite and the rest of the updated room; they’d lost their appeal. And so ‘we’ decided to repaint them. (In the interests of full disclosure I should probably mention here that I made the decision, husband ended up painting….)

Little Things Can Make a BIG Difference

In the way of things this has taken a while…but coming back from my holiday I was amazed at what a difference those few cans of paint have made. (And, of course,the blood sweat and tears that have been shed while I was sunning myself by the pool, with a Pina Colada, thinking about upcycling my business…)

Anyway, back to the point! Seeing my cupboards painted has cast the kitchen in a whole new light, literally and metaphorically. The bright colour makes the room look better but also other parts of the old kitchen appear brighter and better. It has enhanced much more than the cupboards themselves.

And that change has made me think about other aspects of my life, or more specifically my business. I’m going to take some time to think about where I can add value without losing my essential core.

What parts of your life could do with a bit of a review? How can you add value to your career, your life, without losing the essential you, while being true to yourself?

When did you last ‘upcycle’ you?

Photo credit: Kslyesmith

What Two Simple Words Are Stopping You?

Are there two simple words that are holding you back from getting on at work? Or from having  a better quality of life? From living your life to the full?

If (there’s a clue) you find yourself oft repeating “If only…” you’ve found your two words. Two simple words that are holding you back.

If only I were cleverer…

If only I had a better boss…

If only my manager was female…

If only I lived somewhere else…

If only I had more money…

If only I was thin…

If only I could get a seat on the board…

Stop Wishing, Start Planning

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride” This phrase dates back to the 16th Century, we humans have been doing this for sometime! Basically it says stop wasting time merely thinking about stuff and go and do something!

Which is my message today. Every time we get stuck into the ‘what ifs of life we are giving away our personal power. You are extraordinary. You have amazing potential; tap into it. Take back control of your personal power. Decide what you want in life. Critically evaluate it. If your dream seems impossible at the moment, start with a smaller one, one that starts you off on your path. Get help, retrain, sign up for an evening class, start saving, get support, professional and personal. Do whatever you need to do to start making your what ifs a reality!

If this has struck a chord, take a look at When Did You Last Put a Toe in the Water?

Photo Credit: Naveen Saxena

Great Idea Ms Jones… Would a Man Care to Say It?

OK, I know it’s a cliché but sadly it’s a cliché that still rings true for women in the professional world. If we’re not careful we get overlooked and over talked. That’s not my prejudices coming out there; that’s the results of almost every piece of research looking at workplace interactions.

Why?

Every time I read something or hear someone I’m working with make that comment (or express that sentiment) I wonder how can this still be true? There are lots of differences in the way men and women communicate. One is not better than the other, at least not in my book; we need both styles to have a representative society that works for the majority, not 50% (Or only works when the other 50% adopt the style of the dominant 50%). The world is comprised of men and women, roughly in equal numbers, yet one style of communication has been set as the bar, the standard all are judged by.

Speak Up

I have read masses of research and books on this topic and generally speaking no great surprises are revealed. The circumstances vary but in summary, women talk less and get listened to less yet the perception is that women talk more! Which says volumes about how women’s talk is regarded.

So as a professional woman what can you do? Well, being aware is part of the answer. Take time to notice how you speak in mixed groups. Do you hedge your language with ifs, and buts and placatory ‘I’m sorry to interrupt’? Is ‘sorry’ an over used word in your repertoire?

You can’t control what others may do or say, but you can control you. Speak with confidence, expect to be listened to, give that message in all the language you use, bodily and verbally. Your words need to be congruent with every other piece of information you’re giving. And remember, if you don’t have confidence in yourself, and in what you’re saying, no one else will!

Working On Your Career

If you’d like to work directly with me on this or any other issue, simply give me a call to discuss it further. I’m on 01761438749 and I’m looking forward to hearing from you!

Photo Credit: Mjamesno

8 Key Strategies for Women’s Career Advancement with a simple exercise to help. Number One – Networking

There is growing body of literature and research for women who want to advance their careers but unlike some of the early stuff this is not of the ‘strut your stuff, pad your shoulders and play the men at their own game‘ variety. Thank goodness – I never looked good with padding!

Research into Women & the Glass Ceiling

We’re moving on and the research reflects this. There is an understanding that men and women are different and bring different skills and qualities to the workplace, of equal value. Even the term ‘glass ceiling‘ is being replaced by ‘glass labyrinth‘ as it’s acknowledged that women can get to the top, but by a more circuitous route than their male counterparts. A path still strewn with obstacles.

Janna Walvoort of the London School of Economics has undertaken an extensive literature review  with a follow up survey, looking at the main barriers women face in their organisations, and at the 8 coping strategies thought to be commonly used to overcome these barriers for women’s career advancement. The strategies are:

family and career balance

understanding corporate culture

systematic investment in career and development

confidence

knowledge of own strengths

networking

role models

career planning

Four strategies stood out as being of particular significance in helping the women in Walvoort’s survey progress with their careers: networking, role models, confidence and knowledge of strengths. In a series of four articles I’ll look at each of these in turn from a coaching women perspective and suggest options or exercises for you to follow.

As someone who regularly works with senior women these are familiar concepts to me and my clients; I’ve written on my women’s blog about these issues many times (you might like to check out How to Manage Workplace Stress – 3 Tips for Women, What Every Woman Needs to Know About Confidence, and 3 things Women Must Do to have Career Success. And I have a whole section dedicated to Inspirational Women to act as female role models and give inspiration to other women.)

Women’s Networking

Networking is one of the areas I find women feel least comfortable to engage in; by which I mean focussed networking that can actively assist in their career development. There are several reasons for this, not least that women may be working part time and part time workers tend to work really hard at the actual tasks of their job in their working hours and give up anything they see as peripheral, like career development. Men, rarely part time workers, are quite good at networking and their networks have been established for years.

If  you are serious about advancing your career then networking is something you need to pay serious attention to. It’s not merely window dressing but can also enhance how you do your job as it increases your exposure to colleagues in the field and the knowledge they hold, as well as raising your profile.

A Networking Exercise for Women

Try answering the following questions:

• What does the term networking conjure up for you?

• Is it something you feel comfortable with?  Are you sub consciously resistant to the idea?

• What kind of networks are you involved with already? List all of them, whether work related or personal, don’t compartmentalise. Your yoga class may be an excellent source when you stop to think about it.

• Are you on a social media network like LinkedIn?

• Do you keep it regularly updated and understand how it can help you? If not, check this out-masses of free helpful information on how to use LinkedIn professionally and you can sign up to get 100 free tips – LinkedIn Training.  (I’m not on commission, it’s simply a very helpful source of information that I offer to you as a resource!)

• Do you plan in time for networking? Is it part of your career strategy or, in common with many women, are you focussing your time on getting more qualifications and work experience? That’s not a bad thing, of course not, but you need more than that.

• Do you know the best areas for you to focus your networking?Are you looking for advancement in your current organisation, in which case look upwards. Or are you looking to move to a new firm, in which case look outwards.
• Who do you currently know that could help you?
• Who do you know that already has links in this area, who could make some introductions? This is where LinkedIn can be invaluable in helping you make connections with people you wouldn’t come across in the normal course of events. Twittercan serve a similar function although is not such a professional medium and restricted to 140 characters.

Make time for networking in your career plan. Remember, it’s no good being good at your job if no ones about you! As Harvey Coleman discovered, in relation to gaining advancement in one’s career, 10% is the actual quality of work you actually do, 30% is your image, and 60% is if people know about you. Are you paying enough attention to that 60%?

If you’d like to find out more about working one to one with me, or any of my courses, call me on 01761 438749.

Speak Up! Empowering Course for Professional Women

If you’re interested in advancing your career, whether you’re aiming for a seat on the board, or to make your way upwards in a largely male dominated world, you may well be interested in my brand new course, Speak up!

Speak Up is Women’s Leadership Training with a difference. It doesn’t teach women how to be like men; instead it works directly with women on how to be strong and powerful communicators who get their point across without being dogmatic, aggressive or disparaged. Learn how to make men listen to you, respect your views, and become an influential figure in your organisation. Advance your career! Invest in your personal and professional development.

This women’s course is launching in November 27th and 28th at the five star Royal Crescent Hotel, Bath. Give me a call on 01761 438749 or email me jane at changingpeople.co.uk to find out more or reserve a place. Numbers are strictly limited to ensure everyone gets the maximum benefit.

Photo Credit: McHaron

Are You Making the Most of Life?

I was listening to a young teenage girl talking about ‘growing up’ the other day. She had such amazing life plans and ambitious goals and I really hope she fulfils them.So often though events tend to knock us off course and we need to take a bit of time to revisit our early ambition and put ourselves back on track.

Can you remember what your dreams and plans were before you left school? At one point in my early teenage years (and I hardly know how to confess this to you) I thought the pinnacle of being a successful woman was to support a good man! I can remember thinking “I must learn how to make proper coffee so I can be a good hostess”. Good grief!

Well, one ambition achieved, I can make bloomin’ good coffee! And I do support a good man, but crucially he also supports me in my life choices.

Later on, with maturity, my ambitions changed, and although I didn’t ever contemplate running my own business at a young age, I knew I wanted to have a degree of  independence, and I knew I wanted to be in a role that was useful. Actually, I wanted to change the entire world but that’s another story…

Look Back

What were your ambitions for your life? Did you set yourself goals in your early life? Did you have a clear picture of how you wanted your life to look? I was asked by a journalist recently what was the point of setting goals in life? Now, there is a whole raft of material there and goals can be small, big and in between, but basically my answer was - if you have an idea of where you want to be, it helps with all your decision making and helps you make the right choices for you.

Sometimes the right choice for you will be not to have a clear direction, but to take more risks and live more in the moment. The point is that it helps if we regularly review where we are and check out if we’re heading where we want to be, or if we’re drifting too far from our ultimate destination. Only you can know.

If you’re feeling vaguely dissatisfied with life don’t push the thoughts aside; take some time to consider why. Life is not about being happy all the time, but neither should it be about unhappiness. Take some control. Ask yourself:

• Is my unease/unhappiness caused by my personal relationship?
• Is it colleagues at work?
• Is it my role that is too demanding/undemanding?
• Am I bored too much of the time, in need of more stimulation?
• Do I see a clear picture of where I’ll be in a year? Three years? Five years?
• What can I do right now to take back some control of my life?

Despite what it may feel like from time to time, there are always things you can do. Take a look at some of the material on this site for a start, and also look at the inspirational women section on the site. There are some really good stories there from women who have truly grabbed back control. Or if work is not floating your boat at the moment, take a look at my book. You can simply talk to friends, ask their opinions and advice; remember you don’t have to take it but they may something that gives you a good insight, or sparks a train of thought for you.

Life is not always perfect, and a lot of things will happen that are not in our control. But a strong woman knows that how you react to life’s events is always in your gift. Don’t let yourself drift, grab a paddle and start steering your own direction!

Photo Credit: Vince Petaccio