Women, Avoid Martyrdom This Christmas!

How are you? How are you feeling right now? No really, how ARE you? How you doing?

I imagine that quite a few of you are feeling a tad stressed and overwhelmed with all you have to do, both at work and at home. It’s the time of year when our work home balance can get quite out of kilter.

If that feels like you right now take a few minutes to consider this:

Christmas will happen whatever.

Christmas is not simply one day-it’s a season. If it doesn’t go right one day there’s another on the way.

Most things will still be there on December 28th.

Time is man made. There is no law that says everything must be completed on time (except  tax-do your tax returns on time!)

Are you succumbing to the well known ‘I must be superwoman at work as well as making my own mince pies and knitting a witty cat blanket and still look gorgeous’ syndrome? It’s rife at this time of the year and very infectious. If you haven’t been inoculated you could be in danger.

If you’re getting caught up in the pressures that are heaped onto women’s heads at this time of year (by ourselves as well as others) take a moment to pause and reflect. Try giving yourself this mini cure.

The Cure for Martyrdom

What really matters to you and those you care about during this season? If you come up with the answer a beautiful magazine-photo-fit home and hand knitted mince pies then you’d better give that some priority.

But most of us won’t come up with that answer. Most of us will want a relaxing, argument-free time with people we care about, if we can manage it. If the cards don’t get posted on time, they’ll arrive late; the world won’t stop spinning on it’s axis.

Remember to take a break now and again. Recent research shows that people who practice mindfulness are particularly resistant to the blandishments of the ad industry, and frankly that’s what’s we’re talking about here. Being constantly bombarded with images of the perfect woman organising her perfect Christmas for her perfect family, while wafting clouds of Chanel and simpering Nigella like over the bread sauce are so not real! They are figmentsof the admen’s world.

Instead, let’s ‘channel’ Marje Simpson enjoy ourselves! Cheers, purple haired lady!

P.S. I think it might just be me with the cat blanket thing..substitute your own pointless activity.

Photo Credit: Steven J Sullivan

Don’t Panic! Stop & Breathe!

Like many women at this time of year, I found myself yesterday morning feeling a sense of panic at all the things I hadn’t yet done and all the things I had to do for my work and all the sheets that needed washing and all the food shopping and all the presents not yet bought and cooking for the friends coming this evening and….

Stop!

Before I even realised what was happening the tension was creeping up my back and I literally couldn’t see the wood for the trees (or in my case the desk for paper!) So I took a bit of my own advice (I do from time to time, honestly) and stopped for a moment or two.  I stopped working, took a few deep breaths, and asked myself my favourite question when feeling overwhelmed:

“What’s the worst that can happen?”

And the answer to that was nothing particularly dreadful. There were some work things I had to do otherwise I would be letting people down, but apart from that… almost everything else was not truly urgent and the world wouldn’t stop spinning on its axis if I didn’t do them in the way I had planned.

Ask Yourself

If you’re feeling a little overwhelmed at this time of the year, try asking yourself the ‘What’s the worst’ question and answering it honestly and realistically. The answer to that will help you plan your day in a more constructive way and hopefully help you see things from a fresh perspective!

PS After doing this exercise yesterday I worked very hard all morning, and then went with a good friend to The American Museum in Bath to see how the early settlers celebrated Christmas. It wasn’t on my to do list, but it did me a power of good!

How do you manage your potential Festive Stress? Do share your tips!

Tips for Surviving Christmas!

• Rule number one, there are no rules! What ‘rules’ or traditions have you invented over the years and are they still relevant to your Christmases today? It may be that you are giving yourself unnecessary stress and work, so just take a moment to think if you have to do it the way you have always done.
• Lower your expectations immediately. No one is perfect and your Christmas gathering won’t be either. Almost every magazine on sale during December will have a feature telling you how to have the perfect Christmas. Read them for interest but regard them as works of fiction! Your celebrations are unique and should be what works for you.
• If you have a house full of relatives expect the worst and plan for it. If Uncle Bernard always gets drunk it’s no use fantasising that he’ll turn teetotal  just while he’s at your house. He won’t. Likewise with family members who usually don’t get on well together. They still won’t so plan for it and expect it. Everyone cramped in one hot room for hours on end is a sure fire way to provoke a few arguments so make sure you have an activity like a walk for those who need to get out for a while. Read the rest of this entry