What Two Simple Words Are Stopping You?

Are there two simple words that are holding you back from getting on at work? Or from having  a better quality of life? From living your life to the full?

If (there’s a clue) you find yourself oft repeating “If only…” you’ve found your two words. Two simple words that are holding you back.

If only I were cleverer…

If only I had a better boss…

If only my manager was female…

If only I lived somewhere else…

If only I had more money…

If only I was thin…

If only I could get a seat on the board…

Stop Wishing, Start Planning

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride” This phrase dates back to the 16th Century, we humans have been doing this for sometime! Basically it says stop wasting time merely thinking about stuff and go and do something!

Which is my message today. Every time we get stuck into the ‘what ifs of life we are giving away our personal power. You are extraordinary. You have amazing potential; tap into it. Take back control of your personal power. Decide what you want in life. Critically evaluate it. If your dream seems impossible at the moment, start with a smaller one, one that starts you off on your path. Get help, retrain, sign up for an evening class, start saving, get support, professional and personal. Do whatever you need to do to start making your what ifs a reality!

If this has struck a chord, take a look at When Did You Last Put a Toe in the Water?

Photo Credit: Naveen Saxena

What’s Your Story?

We all have a story. I don’t mean that novel lurking within; I mean we all have a back story to our life which governs how we live our life.

Children

Much of our storyline will have been set in childhood. When I was working professionally with children life story work was a significant element in helping them come to terms with what had happened to them. Children are very good at creating a story to fill in the gaps in their knowledge. Unfortunately, children who have had sorrow in their lives tend to make up a story where they are at fault in some way, in some way responsible for what had happened to them.

Adults and Stories

And what have I learned from experience and study is that we never really lose our childhood stories about ourselves. And those stories continue to have an impact on us and our experience of life. Which is fine if you were fortunate enough to have a good back story; if you had significant adults in your life who praised you and helped you develop a good sense of self.  If you didn’t have that experience it’s possible that you are still playing a character from your story that is stifling your potential.

I Want to Tell You a Story…

In a safe way, I lightly touch on this topic in my RenewYou course. I ask the women to think about labels they and others hold of them. And then I ask them to think about the labels they’d like to change. And then we think about making that change!

Your story isn’t finished. You are the author and it’s within you to write a new paragraph, bring in new characters, try a new location, focus on a new direction! So now you’re in charge of your story, what will you ‘write’?

Are You Holding the Past & Missing the Future?

I was at a networking event recently in Bath’s glorious Holbourne Museum (if you get a chance go visit). There is something about that building that I just like. Is it the pleasing Georgian proportions? The modern glass structure at the rear? I don’t know exactly why but I really like it.  It feels right.

And one thing I particularly like is the way it has fused old and new. It’s had a brand new modern extension (tastefully not affecting the front elevation – from the front it looks as it ever was) which has enhanced it greatly. Of course, lots of people were anti the change but it’s been well done; it adds to the grandeur of the building, bringing it alive in the 21st century and of relevance to today. And of course, it’s useful! That’s a result in my book. Beauty and usefulness.

What’s Beautiful and Useful in Your Life?

Holding onto the past is not all bad. In fact, it can be positively life enhancing. If we hold onto the good and beautiful. Sometimes though we can get a bit stuck into holding onto all that is not so great about our pasts and allow it to define us.  For example, if you had a difficult schooling you may well allow that to influence all your attitudes towards learning and reject new ideas; new ideas which might add to the beauty and usefulness of your life.

Or a relationship which didn’t work may colour all future relationships you have because of  suspicion and cynicism. Or past mistakes in your current relationships may be an ever present malign influence if you can’t let them go.

Review Your Past

Take time out to think about the aspects of your past which enhance you, which ‘feel‘ right. That’s what you want to keep.  It makes you beautiful. However, some aspects may need to go into cold storage, and some will need to be jettisoned to make room for something new, to allow you to add something modern and beautiful and useful to you!

Here’s a quick personal development exercise to try! It’ll help you shape a beautiful and useful future!

The Secret of a Great Life!

How to change your life? It’s a question I’m often asked when coaching and here is an analogy I often use. If you’re feeling a bit stuck with life I hope it helps.

Do you ever get in your car, drive, and arrive at your destination (usually somewhere you go regularly like work) and not remember much about how you got there?

You’ve arrived and it’s taken you the same amount of time that it usually does but you were unaware of the journey. It passed in a haze. Maybe you were thinking about the day ahead, or the day just gone. Maybe you were fantasising about a dream life post huge lottery win!

We all do it and it can be a bit scary. What have we missed on the way?

Change Your Life

The reason we drive to work and have no memory of it is that our brains have developed that pathway; it’s a groove we easily slide into. So much so that if our holiday route begins with our work route we may find ourselves halfway to work before we realise. We’ve gone into auto pilot. We need that facility or we’d go mad (imagine having to remind yourself how to do every single thing you know. You’d go bonkers!) but if we live too much in the groove we miss out on so much of the possibilities of our lives.

The good news is it doesn’t have to be like that. Whatever age you are it’s never too late to start to live consciously, to make the most of your life. It’s only too late if you never start!

Change and Grow

So how to change your life? Well, for one thing you could investigate new routes to work and vary it now and again. You’ll notice so much more and quite possibly drive better too! And open up a new pathway in your brain!

And you can investigate new routes in your life too. The more you give yourself new challenges, stray from automatic pilot, the more life opens up its possibilities to you and the more rich your experience of life can be. Sometimes that means having a destination or a goal, sometimes that means maybe taking a risk and following your instincts.  The point is that whatever you are doing you are fully experiencing your life and not cruising through your precious life on auto pilot.

So, what could you change today to make your life great?

P.S Ten Tips for a Brain Work Out will help kick start your thinking!

Photo Credit- Niels Jansen

Create 50 Ways to Change Your Life!

Sounds like a tall order I know, but you can do it and here’s how!

Find yourself a 30 minute slot (Yes, you can change your life in half an hour!). Take yourself away from everything electrical, no screens, lap tops, or phones, etc although do play music if you want as that can help the creative juices flow.

Taking a blank sheet or three of paper and a handful of coloured pens, answer this question ‘What would change my life for the better?’

You need to keep your answers short as you only have half an hour from now to get it all down! Put down everything that comes to you, mad, bad, good and seemingly unachievable.

At first it will be difficult and you’ll struggle but once you have released your inner creativity, after about 10-15 minutes, the ideas will flow thick and fast. Think about people you admire, careers you would like, places you’d like to be, people you’d like to be with, consider everything about your life.

Stop after 30 minutes. Go and get a drink, you’ve earned it. Once you’ve had a wee break, visit your list again. How many ideas did you generate? Don’t look at it and think ‘too much to ever do’, but instead look at it and think ‘My life is full of possibilities! I am amazing!’ Because you are! You are fabulous!

Make A Wish!

Close your eyes for a moment and just imagine. There you are, in your mind’s eye, rubbing away at an old lamp you’ve found at a boot fair, when out pops a genie and offers you a wish!

Two rules – it can be anything except large sums of money, and it has to improve the quality of your life without taking away from anyone else.

What do you wish for?

Do you really need a genie to make it happen? If you applied your energy, commitment and time to achieving this, could it be possible?

What would YOU wish for?