No Excuses
No Excuses is a no nonsense book from Gloria Feldt that will challenge quite a few assumptions about women’s issues. Her main premise is that now there are no real barriers to women taking power, only women themselves and their reluctance to embrace power.
The book is subtitled 9 ways women can change how we think about power. Feldt acknowledges that there are still ‘insidious cultural barriers’ but ‘formally’ she asserts there is no barrier to women pushing at the open door and walking right into the boardroom.
Gloria is not seeking to assign blame; instead she wants to inspire women to embrace ‘a historic moment’. She really wants us to seize the day!
9 Ways Chapter Headings
Each of the 9 ways is a chapter heading. I really can’t do the book justice in a short review but I will list the 9 headings to give you a flavour:
- Understand (some history)
- Redefine (thinking about what power is i.e. power over vs power to)
- Unblock (power unused is useless)
- Be Unafraid (stand up and be counted and refuse to be sidelined)
- Unfetter ( Economic power and reproductive power, or sex and money!)
- Unlimit Yourself (A man would never question his ability to do the job)
- Unleash (Be angry enough, be inspired enough to take action, work together)
- Just do it (Self explanatory I think!)
- No Excuses (don’t follow your dream, lead it!)
Style
Gloria Feldt writes well but this is not a light read. Nor is it necessarily a comfortable one; she is not afraid to be controversial. I really asked myself some searching questions when reading it. Here’s an example:
When You have Choices You Get to Have a Dream
Although conservative fundamentalist groups such as Focus on the Family (US) would likely be apoplectic at the suggestion, the fact is when we’re talking about family, what we’re really talking about is sex. Without sex, there is no family. And when we talk about sex, what we’re really talking about is a complex web of social interactions, all of them defined to a significant degree by women’s personal agency and sexual power.
Michael Goldberg writes in The means of Reproduction, “There is one thing that unites cultural conservatives throughout the world, a critique that joins Protestant fundamentalism, Islamists, Hindu Nationalists, ultra-Orthodox Jews, and ultramontane Catholics. All view women’s equality and self possession as unnatural, a violation of the established order. yet in one society after another, we can see the absence of women’s rights creating existential dangers.”
There are strong cultural powers at play resisting women having a ‘womb of one’ sown’ and it’s time to address them head on. ……As Shipley [ex New Zealand Prime Minister] laid out the facts about women globally, I couldn’t help but think how for those of us who count ourselves among the lucky ones, the time for excuses is over; it is time to make sure our good luck becomes just the way things are, for all women.
To Buy or Not to Buy…
This is a book I will turn to and quote time and time again. It’s not pop psychology, it’s serious work with serious implications, lightened by the many stories and anecdotes within its pages. If you are serious about advancing the course of women in society I urge you to read it. Don’t expect a comforting ride; Gloria is basically saying stop whining and do something! The building blocks are there, build something with them! (In a nice way, well she is a woman!)
I think it will challenge you and give you a different perspective and it may, just may, genuinely change your life! Buy it!
If you’ve read it, please share your views on it.
The book is available in the UK and US, from good bookshops, libraries, and Amazon.
Feel The Fear…& Beyond by Susan Jeffers
Feel the Fear …and Beyond is Susan’s follow up book to her highly successful and widely read Feel the Fear. It’s published by Vermillion and currently costs less than £6. Money well spent!
I would recommend that you read her first book before picking up this one though. The first book establishes the principles and the second gives you some great exercises to try out to reinforce your learning.
Here’s an extract from ‘….and beyond‘:
” Thankfully none of us have to stand alone in this big wide world. Your friends can be an important part of your support system and it is one area of most people’s lives that needs cultivation. But what kind of friends do I mean?
I’m not talking about the kind of friends that try to keep you from moving forward. I am talking about the kind of friends that say, ‘Sure you can do it. Go for it.’…And so on. I like to think of those who hold you back as Lower-Self friends and those who support your growth as Higher-Self friends. And it’s important to pay attention to the difference.”
There then follows a practical exercise with space for you to list friends that fall into those categories. I must have had that in my head when I wrote my ‘Radiators & Drains‘ post.
Susan Jeffer’s aim is to remove any fear we may have about embracing life and living it to the full. She encourages you to make positive change in your life and gives you a useful toolbox to hold your hand while you do! It’s definitely worth having this book on your shelf!
If you’ve read either of the ‘Feel the Fear’ books I’d love to hear what you think of them.
Spring to Mind
Spring to Mind by Zoe Copley is published by Troubador. £11.99
I was intrigued by Zoe as she began her career as a barrister but an encounter with coaching literally transformed her life. And so ‘Spring’ to Mind was born.
The book itself is a weighty tome – you certainly get full value for your money! It’s not really a ‘dip in ‘book but merits reading in it’s entirety. It is part novel, part self help. By turn it amused me, saddened me, and reminded me why coaching can be so amazing and transformational.
Here’s an extract from the novel part of the book which takes the form of a series of letters:
“Dear Mum,
So grateful that you called with your news that you would not be going back to hospital for more chemo this week. I had a lot of time to think about you on Saturday night as I sat wretched and sweaty by the rubbish bin waiting to be ill. We went out to see friends for the evening, dinner and company were both lovely, but I had a growing sense of doom as the minutes ticked by and the clock hands moved slowly past midnight. I was queasy and headachey and I knew the night would not end happily for me.
While it may have been a dodgy clam or some reaction to 2003 red wine, or perhaps lobster for lunch (a rare day of extremely rich pickings), more likely it was Tommy’s virus from last week. Anyway, I felt for you as nausea and vomiting are just two of the side effects you have endured so uncomplainingly. I have to say on the way I felt on Sunday, I would not wish chemo on anyone, let alone my dear Mummy.”
And here is an extract from the self help element of ‘Spring to Mind’ which contains a useful exercise you might want to try.
Self Coaching Toolkit
Coaching is a process through which you can clarify your thinking, identify your goals, formulate plans to achieve them an dultimately transform your reality. Coaching is not rocket science. …….
Stocktake- Exercise 1
Before you embark on a coaching journey or begin planning for change, it may be useful to consider more carefully the areas of your life in which you feel more challenged or less satisfied.
Below is a list of eight different aspects of your life. This is not an exhaustive list. Feel free to add or remove categories. The aim of this exercise is to assess your current feelings in relation to each category. Give each aspect a score from 0-10 with 10 representing the highest level of satisfaction and 0 representing virtually no satisfaction with the category in question.
- Finances
- Social/Friends
- Work/Career
- Leisure Pursuits
- Health/Fitness
- Spiritual/Religious
- Partner
- Family
Were there any surprises?
The novel part of the book addresses many of the themes of life which will resonate with women, indeed one critic dubbed it:
‘One woman’s search for meaning in the Weetabix and the washing.’!
If you’d like to learn more about Zoe and her work, this link will take you to her web site.
And What Do You Do?
‘And What Do You Do? 10 Steps to Creating a Portfolio Career’ by Barrie Hopson and Katie Ledger, published by A & C Black. Full price £12.99
If you’ve ever dreaded that perennial question ‘And What Do You Do?‘ you’re probably in a role that can’t be quickly put into an acceptable dinner party soundbite. It’s possible then that you already have a portfolio career!
If you don’t know what a portfolio career is, this book will tell you, as well as giving you a series of questions to determine whether you are cut out for the portfolio lifestyle.
A portfolio career is one where you work for at least two separate employers, maybe in totally different roles or maybe similar.
Real Life Stories
In the book are several stories of real people who have taken the portfolio route which will either inspire you or fill you with dreadful awe. Your response will give you a clue as to whether portfolio working is for you! If you’re still not sure, early on in the book you get a great checklist of questions to help you determine whether portfolio working will suit you.
Techniques
It uses a lot of the techniques I like and recommend to my own clients, such as mind mapping, being creative with colour, and it’s full of practical and helpful exercises you can actually do in the book itself- a workbook and a resource rolled into one!
Overall this is a really useful book to have in your library, whether you are looking to change jobs or not. The exercises will help you think seriously about your current role and at the end you’ll be clearer about the career direction you’d like to take. Can’t say fairer than that!
Available from all good bookshops, your local library and of course, via this Amazon link. (Please read my book reviews policy for information on Amazon)
