Cool Women Know There is More to Life Than Shoes!

I have to share this with you, dear readers, wait for it– I am officially cool! I know, age 55 and my time has come!

Yesterday I received a book in the post, which is not unusual as I often get them sent to review. Some never see the light of day as I choose only to review books that I think will be useful to you, and are a resource for women I’m happy to have on the site.

This one was slightly different as it had a note saying, “Dear Jane, here’s your copy and thank you so much for contributing!” The book is called ‘There’s More to Life Than Shoes‘(Amazon link). At that moment (It had been a long day) I couldn’t actually remember what I had contributed so turned to the back of the book to read:

‘Nadia Finer and Emily Nash were stuck in jobs that didn’t match their dreams, when they decided enough was enough, and set off on a mission to find the country’s coolest women and ask them for advice‘

Cool Women

Amongst the country’s coolest women in the book are BBC presenter of Newsnight and Desert Island Discs, Kirsty Wark, founder of the amazing Kid’s Company, Camilla Batmanghelidjh, Emma Bridgewater of pottery fame, Martha Lane Fox, founder of lastminute.com and so on. I thought at first, there must be a mistake, I can’t be in here, I thought. But I am.

I will review the book in a future post (totally without bias, of course but buy it!). The reason I wanted to share this with you is that almost to the day, 7 years ago I totally gave up my day job (I’d gone part time for the last year), to launch myself into running my own business, Changing People.

My day job was secure, I was well respected and on the career trajectory; the only way was up. But I looked up and knew it wasn’t where my heart was. With the support of my amazing family and friends I took a leap into the dark, gave up my salary and pension, and set myself up in my own business and changed my life dramatically and wonderfully.

BBC

If you had told me 8 years ago that I would be chatting to researchers on BBC’s Woman’ s Hour, appearing on an hour long radio show as a guest, being featured in my local paper on a regular basis, having my advice sought after by national magazines, been the keynote speaker at large conferences and smaller networking events, written my own book, devised my own best selling courses, and helped thousands of women make positive and lasting change in their lives I would probably have thought you were mad! And I would have been wrong.

Go For It!

If you have long held dreams in your life don’t abandon them. Take them out and dust them off. Be true to yourself. Most things are possible if you really put your mind to it. Focus your energy where you want your results. Don’t waste time bemoaning your lot, but spend that time much more profitably changing your lot. It can be done. Trust me, I’ve done it!

Photo Credit: Sharon Pruitt

Inspirational Woman – Natasha Courtenay-Smith

Natasha Courtenay-Smith is a journalist and founder of the prize winning press and publicity agency, Talk to the Press. You may well have seen or heard her on her numerous radio and TV appearances, talking about her business and some of the people they represent. This is her story for a change!

Jane: Natasha, you run a very successful press agency, Talk To The Press, (we’ll talk about your awards later!) What prompted you to begin your own business?
I’d always imagined I would run my own business (my parents had done) and it was largely boredom and feeling restricted that lead me to take the plunge and leave my former job, which was as a feature writer at the Daily Mail, in 2005.

Another factor was that I knew I wanted to have children (one day) and so wanted to set myself up and establish myself as a self-employed person prior to that happening. I didn’t want to have to deal with things like having to work long hours because my boss said so once I’d had a baby, and I didn’t want to try and start a business at the same time as becoming a mum.

At the time, I had a notion I’d like to run my own press agency, but I didn’t have any grand plan at that point of what it would be like and how it would work. I worked first as a freelance writer and was regularly commissioned by national newspapers and women’s magazines for two years and then started thinking more about formalising things into a proper press agency.

At the Daily Mail, I’d regularly dealt with individuals who had, for any number of reasons, found themselves making headlines and then faced the awful situation of reporters on their doorstep, being asked to sell their story, and these were the people that I wanted to help and also that I felt confident I knew how to help.

In January 2008, I launched the Talk to the Press website. Within weeks of the website going live, I discovered I was pregnant. I already had one employee so I took on another (mainly so the girl I already employed wouldn’t be lonely during my maternity leave – not sure if that is the best reason to recruit!) and then spend 9 months frantically building up the business so it was generating enough money to pay my two employees and generate a small profit whilst I had my baby. Looking back, it must have been stressful but it didn’t feel that way at the time.

What were the biggest hurdles you faced in launching your own business? What did you find the most daunting aspect of going it alone?
I probably speak for many self employed mums when I say the biggest hurdle was juggling the business and being a very new mum. In many ways, it’s wonderful in that being my own boss, I’ve been able to spend far more time with my little boy than I would have done had I remained working on a national newspaper, especially now.

But in the early days, my time with him was probably compromised by the business’ needs. I definitely felt under more pressure that mums who have jobs and are able to go on maternity leave and not think about work. I was back at work one day a week when my little boy was six weeks old and took him into the office every Monday for a meeting with my employees.

Although I was completely committed to my business, with all the emotion and confusion that being a new mum brings, I didn’t have enough self-belief to not worry about what other people thought and to not feel judged (in a bad way) by other new mums I met at the time, who invariably weren’t even thinking about work at all.

And what was the most exciting?
The most exciting was just realising that the Talk to the Press website did work (in that people visited it and felt able to get in touch with their stories), and that increasingly people were choosing us to handle media for their stories or to sell their story.

What has been the most exciting/rewarding story you’ve covered?
We’ve worked on so many great stories, it’s difficult to say, but the ones that stand out are the times we really helped those who were making headlines. Most recently, we represented ‘supergran’ Ann Timson who became an overnight heroine after beating off a gang of jewel robbers with her handbag. It was wonderful to meet Ann and to step in and help her handle the media attention which had unnerved her somewhat. But she soon got into the swing of it and we even arranged for her to fly to New York (business class!) to appear on the Today show.

We also represented the women conned by Simon Reid, who in a story that made headlines, got together to confront him and filmed his entire reaction. We  secured them a multi media deal too which included newspapers, magazines, television, and they also went to New York to appear in the Today show – and enjoyed a two day break there while they were at it!

What did you want to be when you ‘grew up’? Were there any early indications of that entrepreneurial spirit?
Hmm, at this point I should be saying that I ran the school tuck shop and made 10p profit on every Mars Bar I sold, but that wasn’t the case! I did once hold a sale of my art, but I only sold my paintings to my parents, so I’m not sure that counts as true “entrepreneurial spirit.”

Growing up I actually wanted to be in the police force! I did psychology at university and continued being keen on the police, until the moment came when I finished university and realised in fact I was too scared of things like the dark and criminals to go into the police force. I’d actually always loved writing, and it was then I decided I’d like to be a journalist.

I think in actual fact my ‘entrepreneurial spirit’ only emerged once I was self-employed. It was only once I wasn’t in a paid job that I started to see how I could build a business, employ others and repeat the process to generate more work and money. And I found with no boss to hand you a payrise, better job title or increased responsibility, I began to think about ways I could create all that for myself.

As a journalist did you encounter any discrimination or issues because you were female and feisty?
No, I’ve never had any issues because of being a woman! Professionally, I think men enjoy bantering with women who are successful and feisty.

Do you have a mentor or someone who has inspired you?
I’m inspired by all mums who run their own businesses, and all self-made individuals.

I constantly read business books, I’ve read all books by BBC 2s ‘Dragons’, those by Sahar Hashemi and any other entrepreneurs I can get my hands on. My particular favourite is ‘How to Get Rich’ by Felix Dennis (the title is ironic, the book is brilliant). He almost sees business as a game and I love his no nonsense attitude.

I’ve also followed a book called ‘The Winner’s Bible’ which recommends visualisation as a way to see the bigger picture and what you could achieve if you set your mind to it.

But one thing I actually lack is a mentor in my life. I would love to know more women who are as driven as I am, and who have children too, and have them in my social set. I would love to be friends with someone like Anya Hindmarch, who has four children and also runs a multi million pound business. Not because she’s a ‘celebrity’, but because I would love to know women who have achieved far far more than I could even imagine, and who would make me feel I could be doing so much more than I currently am, and who could offer advice on the things I might consider doing next. I find that some of my own friends in fact make me feel as though I should either be doing less, or that what I’m doing already is more than enough.

Research shows that women consistently undersell themselves when applying for jobs (and men oversell) and that women business start ups rarely ask for enough money to get them going. Have you ever suffered from ‘hiding your light’, or felt diffident about your abilities, and what advice do you have for readers wanting to start their own business?
My business hasn’t had any funding but generally speaking, I think I definitely suffer from this. If people ask me what I do, I have been known to mutter vaguely about being a journalist and leaving it at that. I know that actually I should be saying I run a fairly successful press agency, I’ve been on TV, I’ve won awards but instead I find myself changing the subject! But it’s a British thing to underplay achievements isn’t it – no one wants to be seen as too big for their boots! What is interesting is that as my business grows, I am getting far better about talking about it and its achievements.

What is the best piece of advice you have ever been given or read?
To set goals and to constantly remind yourself what your goals are. It’s easy to get bogged down in nitty gritty, but goal setting keeps you focused on the bigger picture. By the same vein, there is a great quote, I don’t know who by, but it is ‘To avoid seasickness, look to the horizon’.

Entering awards is a brilliant way to get publicity for your business and recognition for what you do. You have won FOUR business awards. Can you tell us how that came about and what difference winning those awards has made to you and your business?
Yes, I’ve won four business awards. I won the ‘Women in Business’ award at the Startups Awards, which recognise achievements of new business in the UK. TTTP was then named ‘Outstanding New Publicity Solution’ by the Global Business Excellence awards. TTTP has also been recognised as one of the UK’s smartest small businesses, having been chosen by a judging panel including Deborah Meaden as a winner of Smarta.com’s ‘Smarta 100’ award. And I was featured on Management Today magazine’s ’35 under 35’ annual list of female high flyers. I’ve also reached the finals of two more awards.

Well, the simplest way to win awards is to enter them – so part of it is finding the time and making the effort to write out proper entries. I think a lot of people think about entering awards, and then never actually do, just as many people say ‘One day I’d like to run my own business’ but you know full well they will never do it.

Winning awards has been a great thing for Talk to the Press. I think people are naturally suspicious of journalists and to have had the business independently assessed and deemed worthy by a number of high profile entrepreneurs, including Deborah Meaden, is like a stamp of approval. For me personally, it’s been a wonderful thing in terms of confidence as well.

How do you manage to get a good work/home balance?
I think being my own boss helps. Although I do work incredibly hard, it’s all done within a time structure that I set myself and that ultimately I control. For instance, I leave at 5pm every day to pick up my little boy from nursery and then it’s me and him time until he goes to bed (although I won’t lie and say I don’t check and reply to emails on my iphone as I do!). Although of course it stresses me out when he’s sick and I find myself running my business from the sofa, I know I’m not going to get sacked.

For any mum though, getting the perfect balance is difficult and I’m not sure anyone would think they’ve done that, whether they work or not. It’s a bit like finding the Holy Grail and I’m not sure the perfect balance exists.

You founded the Notting Hill Shopping Bag scheme; what made you do that?
The Notting Hill Shopping Bag is a cotton reusable bag for tourists and locals alike sold from a number of different stalls and shops across the area, the artwork on it is designed by local school children, and 10 per cent of the profits are given to local good causes. I just set it up to see what would happen – and have sold around 11,000 bags to date.

It came about simply because I live and work in Notting Hill and love the area. The Talk to the Press offices are based on Portobello Road, and over the past few years, I have come to know many stallholders and have always enjoyed watching the ebb and flow of their businesses throughout the day and the seasons. Somewhere along the way, I noticed that there is a shortage of really nice locally-themed souvenirs for Notting Hill that aren’t naff, and I suspected that given the popularity of the area, there would be demand for something authentic.

It’s been a very different sort of business for me, and a great learning curve. It’s the first time I’ve had to worry about issues like stock levels and commodity prices (the price of cotton has risen 50 per cent since I launched), plus it’s the first time I’ve been selling a product in return for hard cash and also importing goods from overseas. It’s incredible when a delivery arrives on a huge articulated lorry, I feel quite emotional that the bags have completed their long sea journey safely and that the only reason this huge oversized vehicle has turned up in Portobello Road is because of me!

The business makes far less money than TTTP, but in a sense, it is just as rewarding. When I collect in £200 in cash from a bag stockist who has sold out of bags, it feels like just as much as an achievement as selling a story for £5000.

In a business like Talk to the Press, you never see cash, it’s electronic figures going up and down on a bank account. It’s a great thing to see sales being made in cash, to get that cash, to take that cash to the bank and then use it to buy more products and then to wait for the products to physically arrive on a lorry and have to be sold to get that cash back again. It’s back to the basics of business.

Which woman currently in the public eye do you most admire?
I admire any truly determined and driven self-made women, such as Hilary Devey, Deborah Meaden, Anya Hindmarch, Alice Temperley, Debbie Moore, Mary Portas, Claire Powell, Victoria Beckham, Kelly Hoppen, the list is endless. I devour any quotes I can from people like that in the hope of learning something new.

What’s your favourite way to relax and unwind?
A glass of wine with friends.

Do you have a favourite tip or saying or motto you’d be happy to share?
Lots of them!
‘Whether you think you can or you can’t, either way you are right’ – Henry Ford
‘All you require is you, and your ability to think things into being’ – Dr Martin Luthur King (this was particularly the case with the Notting Hill Shopping Bag which came from a thought in my mind.
And there is a fantastic poem, I don’t know who by, called ‘It’s all in the state of mind.’ To give a flavour, the first paragraph is
‘If you think you are beaten, you are
If you think you dare not, you don’t
If you’d like to win but you think you can’t, it’s almost a cinch that you won’t
If you think you’ll lose you’ve lost
For out in the world you’ll find
Success begins with a fellows will
It’s all in the state of mind.’

Natasha, thank you so much for sharing your story. There is so much here to inspire readers. Thank you very much and continued success to you and the business!

For more information visit talktothepress or email Natasha on message@talktothepress

Christine Webber – Inspirational Woman

Christine Webber is a successful author and broadcaster and psychotherapist. Her first book, which was a romantic novel, came out in 1987. Her most recent, and 12th book, Too Young to Get Old, was published in February in 2010. She has been an agony aunt on TV Times and Best and a regular contributor or columnist on a wide variety of publications including Woman, TV Quick, The Scotsman and SAGA. She also guests on TV programmes such as BBC Breakfast and The Wright Stuff.

Jane: Christine, thanks so much for taking time out to share your thoughts with the readers; I’m really looking forward to this interview, our first of 2011! And my first question, what was the very first paid job you ever had? Did you like it?
Chris: My very first paid job was on the skirt counter in Marks and Spencer in Catford, in South London. I loathed it, I’m afraid. But my next job, as a ‘postman’ for the Christmas rush during my first holidays as a student, was great. And the money, with overtime, seemed like a fortune!

That’s a coincidence; my first job was on ‘hats’ in the Army and Navy stores, Bromley South. And I did the Christmas post too – very lucrative!  But you began as a singer so presumably the performing gene was quite strong. How long did that last and how did you make the break into television presenting?
I was a musical child. My parents didn’t play instruments, but my mother had a lovely contralto singing voice. I was always writing plays and dancing round the house – though never had dance lessons. I did learn the piano though, and got quite good. And then, aged 18, I went to the Guildhall School of Music and Drama to study singing. Unfortunately, it quickly became apparent that I was not the next Joan Sutherland. So when I left, I went into musicals and pantomime.

I also did some teaching, and then ventured into repertory theatre – just scratching a living, really. Finally, my big break was becoming an in-vision TV announcer. I was much better at that – which was a relief. Shortly after going to Anglia TV as an announcer, they gave me a job as a news presenter. I stayed there for 12 very happy years.

Have you ever experienced femageism in your professional career? (I.e. where younger women routinely paired with older men and older women exit stage left)
Well, there’s no doubt that older women have a tougher time in TV than older men. I left Anglia when I was 43 and that was partly because I wanted to do other things, but equally because I felt it better to leave while they still wanted me. Other colleagues did get replaced by younger women – and I had seen that happen.

Obviously, many viewers want to look at people who are easy on the eye. But at the same time, I think that it’s the men in suits, rather than the public, who keep searching for the next bright young thing. They also constantly chase advertisers with promises of delivering young audiences. This is crazy. It’s actually mid-life and older people who have more disposable cash, and who reliably watch their favourite programmes, so probably the TV companies should all be trying to attract older viewers. Why these supposedly intelligent ‘high-ups’ haven’t worked this out for themselves beats me!

Hear hear! What prompted you to write Too Young to Get Old? How easy was it to get your first book published?
My first book was a novel and I entered it into a competition run by Cosmopolitan magazine to champion new writers. I didn’t win, but my book did get shortlisted and was then read by someone at Century Hutchinson and was eventually published.  This was a huge thrill, I can tell you. I then started writing non-fiction.

I married my second husband, Dr David Delvin, in 1988. He is a sex specialist and I got interested in his work. He’d already published masses of books, including The Book of Love which was an absolute classic and  helped generations of couples to have a happier love life. Together, we wrote The Big “O” which did quite well, and then – after I’d trained for four years to get various psychotherapy qualifications – I started writing books on happiness and self-esteem as well as about relationships.

Too Young to Get Old was a completely different venture. I wanted to write something for the sassy women that we female baby boomers are. And I wanted to put together in one book lots of information about all the things we need to know if the next few decades are going to be vibrant, solvent and healthy ones. I found it quite a hard concept to sell to people. But my lovely agent, Rowan Lawton, pitched it to Piatkus, who are a great publisher. And I’ve been very happy with what they did with it. It’s going into a second edition in February.

Who has inspired you in your personal and professional life?
This list is endless. I am constantly inspired – often by something I casually read in a newspaper, or on Twitter, or see on TV. I am very influenced and inspired too by all sorts of books. Major inspirations in my life have come from a couple of my school teachers – who could see the sort of future I might be able to have, and who encouraged me.

I’ve been very influenced by one of Britain’s top marital psychiatrists, Dr Jack Dominian. Inspired too, by several cognitive-behaviour gurus – such as Aaron Beck, the founder of CBT. And my husband has been very inspiring too, in oh so many ways!

What do you think is the biggest ‘hurdle’ for professional women now? (Or maybe you don’t think there are any hurdles?)
Not sure about ‘hurdles’ exactly. But I think the major worry for professional women is whether or not to have children – and if so, at what point. That’s at the heart of what lots of women want to discuss when they come to my practice in Harley Street.
I think another hazard is that few of us really live in the moment, and enjoy it. When we don’t do that, everything becomes such a struggle, because we are constantly striving but never looking around and going: ‘Hey, I’ve come a long way. My life is exciting and challenging. And I am happy in it.’

What has been the best piece of advice you have ever been given?
My husband has given me loads of advice through the years on punctuation. Does that count? It’s certainly been useful.

What piece of advice or knowledge do you wish you had known at age 18?
I wish I’d known that I would find true love eventually, so I could have stopped agonising about it and just had a good time.

What advice would you give to any aspiring writers out there?
I think ‘just do it’ pretty well sums it up. There are hordes of people who believe they have a book in them. And probably lots of them do. The difference between them and those who get published is often simply that the latter group actually put in the time and do the writing. You are not a writer if you just think about writing, but don’t write.

How do manage the work home balance with your busy career? You work often with your partner, Dr David Delvin Does that make it easier or more difficult to break from work?
I have a good balance between working with David, and working on my own. When we got together, in 1987, we made a vow that neither of us would take a job that involved an overnight stay if the other couldn’t go. I’m sure that some people would find that limiting, but it has worked for us.

At this stage in my life it’s much easier actually to have balance and time to myself than it used to be. I look at women in their 30s who are managing a home, a career, a man, and bringing up children and I just marvel at how they can do all these things. Truth to tell, many of them look exhausted much of the time. And no wonder.  I’ve come to believe that lack of balance in people’s lives is a major source of unhappiness and fatigue.

What’s your favourite way to relax?
Some years ago, I bought a very nice piano. Trouble is, I rarely play it. But my resolution for 2011 is to make time, as it’s a wonderful way to de-stress. I also love exercise (and when I was hopeless at games and always the last person to be picked for any team, I’d have been amazed by that!) – especially the ballet class I go to at Pineapple. I watch loads of rugby on the box and adore it. I listen to lots of music. I enjoy the cinema – especially the lovely Duke of York’s here in Brighton where you can sit on sofas and eat cake and drink wine or coffee. I love going to the theatre and to opera and to concerts. In fact, it sounds really as if my life is one big relaxation. I wonder if I ought to fit in some more work!

What has been the best mistake you ever made?
I have made countless mistakes. For a start, I should definitely have saved more money when I had regular work in television. But I try not to dwell on mistakes. Regret is pointless. I am very much a ‘looking forward’ sort of person rather than one who looks back. You just have to say: ‘I made that choice then. It seemed right at the time. No point in beating myself up over it.’ There’s no harm in resolving not to be that stupid again however!

What are you most proud of in your life?
I think I’m probably most proud of having built a happy and mutually loving marriage with David – mostly because I used to think that a happy relationship was something that only other people could expect. I also delight in being a step mum and step granny.
Work of course has always been vital to me, and I am very pleased with some of the jobs I’ve had. Not sure if ‘proud’ is quite the right word for that.

I am often proud of clients when they really work to make their lives happier and more balanced – and when they triumph over the broken hearts that often bring them to me in the first place.

If you could be anywhere in the world right now, with anyone from history or the present, where and who would you choose?
Seems to me that for a woman with a moderately good brain, who comes from a very ordinary family, there’s never been a better time than now.
Heaven knows what I would have done if I’d been born before women were allowed to work or have their own money. I think I would have felt very hampered and frustrated. Also, I am hopeless at needlework, which I’m sure was a necessary skill for all females. Probably my best move would have been to try and be some rich man’s mistress. I might have managed that.

Seriously though, I’m sure that to have lived in Vienna any time between about 1780 and 1930 would have been very interesting, though it might not have been great if you were seriously poor. If you think about all the composers who produced a  phenomenal body of work in that city – Mozart, Beethoven, Schubert etc – it must have been an amazing period with them all concentrated in the one place. Also, it would have been interesting to be in Vienna when Freud and Jung and others were making huge leaps in psychological medicine. But probably to have entered fully into either a musical life or an academic one, it would have been better to have been born male, rich – and healthy. No penicillin, after all!

You have masses of really helpful information in ‘Too Young’, but what’s your best tip for growing older?
Do as much exercise as you feel you can – and then do a bit more than that! What I learned through researching my book is that exercise is the best way to keep in trim and to keep mobile, and to keep your brain healthy. Most of us have loads of ambitions yet to fulfil, but we’re not going to achieve them if we succumb to immobility, serious physical illness, or dementia. Really, what I learned as I wrote was that we are – to a large extent – the architects of our own old age, and if we want to be healthy and viable we really need to put in a lot of effort.

Christine, thank you so much for this; a brilliant start to the Inspirational Women section of 2011 and I wish you huge success this year. I hear your latest book has been so successful it’s now going into a second edition. Congratulations!

I’ll be reviewing Christine’s latest book in my next newsletter so look out for that. You can find out more about Christine  through her own web site by clicking here.

How Inspirational Are You?

If you’ve looked at my Inspirational Women section, or receive my regular newsletter, you will see that I have a series of interviews with women all chosen to inspire YOU! I know from the many emails you send me that they do inspire you, and that you love the series. Thank you!

So I thought it might be fun if I asked you some of the questions. Please choose one or two to answer and share with other readers via the comments section of  the blog. Don’t compare, never compare. You are unique. Something you have to say might just be the magic push someone else needs to make a significant change in their life!

Here are some typical interview questions that I ask of my Inspirational Women. Answer them honestly about yourself, no hiding of lights!

Your Questions

1) What was your very first paid job, and do you use any skills you acquired then in your present role?

2) Which person had had the biggest influence in your life so far?

3) What is the best piece of advice you have been given?

4) What is the best piece of advice you have ever given and to whom?

5) Have you ever encountered sexism in your working or personal life and if so, how did you deal with it?

6) How do you relax?

7) Did you plan your career/life or have events just happened?

8) What has been your best mistake and why?

9) What is the best thing for you when you’re feeling stressed?

10) What is your favourite saying, or piece of poetry, or book?

11) What has been your biggest achievement to date, the thing in your life that you are most proud of?

12) If you could change one thing in your life right now, what would it be?

Even if you don’t want to share any of your answers, do have a go at the questions. And forward this link to anyone you think would enjoy answering them too. I think you’ll end up inspiring yourself! In my experience, most women are very good at underselling themselves and it takes an exercise like this that makes you realise just how WONDERFUL YOU ARE!

Life Changing Moments

I have a great job! I cannot adequately describe the pure pleasure it gives me to receive a card or email from someone telling me that something I have done, either on a course, when coaching, or written in the newsletter, has changed their life for the better. What a privilege to be able do that for a living!

Life Changing

Recently I had a life changing experience of my own. I’ll spare you the details but suffice it to say my doctor thought I might have a life threatening illness and sent me on a succession of emergency tests. To my relief it turns out that I do not have a life threatening illness but something manageable.

I had discussed this with a good friend who said, ‘whatever the outcome, this will change your life’. And he’s right. Facing the prospect, however slight, that your life might not be going according to your plan is a salutory experience, a life changing experience.

Life Changes Can be Fun!

But life changing experiences are not always so serious! Often it’s moments of pure joy that change our lives, like births, falling in love, or even attending a course that gives you a new insight and direction in life!

What have been your life changing moments? What events in your life have caused you to re-evaluate and make positive changes in your life? Was it a person, or an event? My Inspirational Women series has many examples of women who have made positive changes in their lives; here are two of them:

Natascha Barrymore was so touched by the devastation of the Asian Tsunami that she gave up her old life totally. Her story is here.

And Susan Denmark was inspired by illness to take herself off to the Northern lights!

Please do share your own life changing moments; I’d love to hear from you - your story will inspire others!

An Inspirational Woman – Susan Denmark

This joyous email arrived in my in box this week and the writer has given me permission to publish it.

Susan was a participant on one of my Renewyou courses; at that time she was combining a demanding full time job with caring for her mother. I found her email really inspirational- I hope you do too.

Susan’s Email

“Just reading your newsletter reminded me that I have been meaning to get in touch for quite a while.

I was 50 in November and had been thinking for the year before how to celebrate. In January 2009 I decided not to have a big party but to identify 50 things to do in the next 2 years (i.e. the year leading up to and the year after my 50th). I had great fun with everyone coming up with the list. It included:

•    Owning 50 pairs of earrings (I stopped wearing them when I was a carer-too time consuming!)
•    Walking the Pembrokeshire Coastal path (nominated by Patch, my dog).
•    Writing 50 thank-you letters when I appreciated something someone had done for me.
•    Learning to ice skate.
•    Visiting every John Lewis Store in the UK.
•    Going to Liverpool (I’d never been!)
•    See 50 films (I now qualify for the ‘Silver Screen’ -£3 with tea and biscuits.

Northern Lights

The biggest one was to see the Northern Lights – a long held ambition. I spoke to a Norwegian friend and started to plan when I could possibly go.

Well-you know the saying about life is what happens between your plans……

I was diagnosed with MS in March-an MRI scan for a trapped nerve threw up this surprising news. Luckily I have not experienced any major symptoms -just a bit of tingling now and then (I severely embarrassed the consultant by saying that I didn’t mind the tingling -depending on where it was, and that if more women shared this experience Ann Summers would go out of business!)

On returning home I logged on to the MS Society website- and the first thing I saw was a fundraising advert “Would you like to see the Northern lights, and raise money for the MS Society?”

With one click of a button I was signed up to spend 8 days dog sledding across the Arctic Circle (the internet is so bad for impulsive people like me!!!) Hopefully, if not too exhausted I will get to see the Northern Lights -but if not, I’ll have a good excuse to go again.

Fundraising

One of the best things is that I had to raise £4000 to fund the trip and support the MS society. I thought I would have to do it all on my own but have been amazed at the love and generosity of others in helping me achieve my dream. Colleagues at my work organised a charity ball that made £1300, they’ve made and sold cakes, made cards , and held a book sale. People have even stopped me in the street and given me money.

My old work colleagues from BANES  (local authority) have raised lots too, even though I left there over 5 years ago. I still have a bit to go, so will continue fundraising for a bit (link at the bottom of the page!!)

What I have learned is that, even when there is bad news there is always something positive that comes out of it. It may not always be obvious, but it’s there somewhere if you open your mind -I guess it ‘s that  saying “Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows“. I now know that I have wonderful friends and family, and will hopefully will get to see the Lights!

It also taught me to ask for help -something I have not always been good at, coming from the ‘Superwoman / Keep calm and carry on’ mould!

Intrepid Explorer

Well, I’m off this  Friday to the Arctic. It feels a bit like being pregnant, spending 9 months aware that something is about to happen and then suddenly it hits you- you are really going to have to do it!!

Thank you for your inspiration  – I really did take a lot from the Renew You course I attended. I am sure my ’50 things to do when I am 50′ came out of it-so thank you – I  will think of you when I look up at those lights!”

End of email

On the contrary thank YOU Sue, for sharing such a great story with us. I know your story will inspire others who are perhaps struggling with what life has thrown up at the moment. My only concern is that your own shining light will dim those you’re going to see! Keep us posted on how you get on and everything is crossed for you getting to see those lights!

Click here to access Sue’s fund raising page and support her trip and the MS society!