Jane, do tell us how you ended up working in the predominantly male field of logistics?
Completely by accident! I took a job as PA to the owner of AYS Couriers, purely because I liked her and was impressed with her pride in the business. I was at a low ebb in my life and stepped away from my PA career to take less responsibility and work within a role that was comfortable to me at the time. I came to AYS at a very difficult time in my life, in the middle of a difficult divorce and at a very low ebb.

My MD was very supportive and came to know how I was feeling, she had a great balance between being an empathetic woman whilst remaining clearly the “boss” – this is a model I try to replicate in my current role.

After about 18 months the owner of the business told us that she had decided to sell AYS, at this point I realised this could be the answer to the worries I had about my future. I saw this was the chance to make my own future and although there were many obstacles my determination to take this opportunity saw me through. Instead of wondering what I was going to do to get out of the ‘mess’ I felt I was in, I took control and made a decision to throw all my energy into seeing the sale through; I set  goals and ‘made deals with myself’; such as “I will spend the 2 years just looking after my daughter (then the youngest of 3 was 13) and ‘making this happen’” I saw the purchase and me taking up the role as MD as a way of providing security and financial advancement as well as giving my battered mind something positive to focus on.

I didn’t let my head drive doubts into my mind and read up on others who had achieved similar things, I took inspiration from other business women and educated myself on legalities and business structure.

The biggest challenge was financial I had been left after my divorce with no capital; the current business owner advised me to talk to an associate of hers who had been through an MBO before and who had contacts with potential investors. Through his support we were able to buy the business with a team of shareholders.

Over the following years shareholders were brought out, until we got to the point where I remain the sole owner. Buying the business transformed my life and I am eternally grateful that I took the opportunity to make my own destiny, I would say to anyone sometimes when you can’t see a way forward and are unsure how you are going to ever feel positive again, the best things are around the corner, believe in yourself, this is just a phase in your life – not the rest of your life!

Did you plan your career? Or have you reacted to events as they have happened?
I have to admit I did not have a plan when I left school, prior to A levels as I was ‘bored’! My first job was as an office junior for Birmingham City Council, this gave me a great insight into the work of different departments as we moved around on a rota basis gaining experience.

Following this start, I moved around, not working more than 2/3 years in anyone place. Although some would think this is not a good admission on a CV, I think this demonstrates an interest in learning and developing. My experience allowed me to take on pretty much any administrative role as I could learn and turn my hand to anything. I moved to PA more in a management support role than in the traditional shorthand secretarial role; this gave me inside knowledge of the work of Directors and CEO’s that proved invaluable!

What would you change if you had the chance to go back and do it again?
When asked over the years if I would have changed things at times I would have said yes, I would have gained more qualifications but now as my career has matured I would say No. I strongly believe that one of my greatest skills is being able to take on new challenges, change motivates rather than frightens me; this is a direct result of working in many different sectors at various levels.

What has most surprised  you about running your own business?
The absolute joy of it! I am enthusiastic about my business and particularly enjoy being in a position where I can give others the opportunity to become a stakeholder in the business and develop their career, the sky really is the limit at AYS for both the business and its personnel.

What have I learnt from this journey:-
1) If you really want something and are prepared to do what it takes to get it – you will succeed.

2) Don’t let bad days (or weeks or months!) make you feel this is all that life holds for you – none of us know the future.

3) Forgive yourself for your mistakes, when I asked a great friend how my life had got so confused she responded “one step at a time” she constantly told me “you are only human” – we all find ourselves in situations that didn’t quite work out as we thought, we are only human – it is life experiences that make you the person you are.

It’s hard to put into words, I guess I mean I am an ordinary person, my life felt fractured – and yet good things were around the corner, I took the opportunity that provided drive and passion in my life and ‘saved’ myself from the downward spiral – if I can do it – so can you!

Have you experienced any overt or covert discrimination because of your gender? If so, how do you deal with it?
Not at all, I have found the female approach to be very successful. In my experience there has always been a lot of support for me as a business owner, both I believe as a female and as someone who came to business in a less than traditional route.

What’s the best advice you’ve been given re starting your own business?
“Know where you are going! Decide where you want to get to, then you will find the way” It is easy to become distracted from your goals, having a clear destination or end result in mind clarifies thought processes, you can’t plan if you don’t have a clear destination in mind.

Who has been the biggest influence, or role model in your life? Who most inspires you?
I have had two ‘Bosses’ who inspired me along the way. The first one taught me that ‘no’ was not an option when things get tough, find a way to do it! He gave me a “can do” attitude that helps me every day, we sometimes impose limitations on ourselves by accepting the first “I can’t do it” thought that pops into our head.

My focus on the end result in business and ability to identify the route to the goal is a direct result of his influence.

The second inspired me in her belief in her business, I could see how much having her own business meant to her and I guess I wanted that feeling too. She is a successful business woman but retains a down to earth combination of wife and mother alongside her professional image – a very “real” lady.

MD is a big job when running your own business. How do you manage to balance home and work and to relax?
Stop fighting yourself, when you own a business you will have enormous passion about it, it is part of your life and you never fully switch off but that does not mean that you cannot enjoy being away from it. Whenever I take holiday I still want to know how things are going and holidays often give you time to come up with ideas and direction for your business. I don’t believe this is a fault it is natural state for someone who goes into business ownership, you just manage your communication and contact.

My family know they come first but also know how important the business is to me, and that it makes me happy! Relaxation should be built into you week; it refreshes and de-stresses you and in the end makes you more productive. At particularly difficult times I believe that it is your duty to yourself and to your business to ensure that you do the things that help you relax and re-energise so that when you are at work you are 100%.

If the current Jane could give the 16 year old Jane some advice, what would it be?
Believe in yourself, a tendency to become ‘bored’ could be seen as ambition and a desire to increase my knowledge. At the time I faced criticism for moving on from roles that were ‘secure’, now I know the benefit of the development I gained in other roles. Don’t lose ‘yourself’ it is you being you that brings about success; never try and change yourself to fit someone else’s model.

If you could have any career you wanted, what would it be and why?
I would like to be in a role where I could help others realise their ambitions, I have learned so much in this role, and I would like to be able to support others in their desire to progress in business. Many people suffer from not taking up opportunities that are presented, with an enquiring mind and thoughtful planning most things can be achieved more easily than you might think.

How has deciding to run your own business affected your life?
Taking the decision to lead an MBO and buy into the business and then to eventually take on the whole business has transformed my life. If anyone is hesitating about doing it I would say go for it! Ensure that your business and personal plans are realistic and achievable and then go ahead and take control of your own destiny. My journey from a time when my future was unclear to my role today has been a roller coaster of amazing experiences. All the clichés are true, seize the day, believe in yourself – you can do it! For me I am just beginning “watch this space”!

Jane, thank you so much! I am so looking forward to meeting you again on Speak Up!

If you’d like to meet some other wonderful women like Jane, do come along to the next Speak Up course in Bath. It’s booking now! And this link will take you directly to Jane’s AYS site.

Jane: Deborah, can you describe your current role?
Deborah: I’m the Chief Executive of Bowel Cancer UK, a national charity which aims to save lives by raising awareness of bowel cancer, campaigning for best treatment and care and providing practical support and advice to patients, their family and friends.

Bowel cancer is the second biggest cancer killer in the UK, but it is highly treatable if diagnosed early.  Unfortunately awareness of the disease is too low and people are often unaware of the disease itself or its symptoms.  That makes Bowel Cancer UK’s work even more important as raising awareness really can save lives.

How did you end up in this post? Was it through personal experience or a career choice?
A bit of both actually.  My father was diagnosed with bowel cancer in early 2008 and sadly died in June that same year.  During the course of his diagnosis and treatment I was shocked to learn that bowel cancer is the second biggest cancer killer, yet I knew nothing about it at all.  His death was profoundly shocking and I’m convinced that if I had known then what I know now, he would have survived.

During the course of those few months and after his death, I researched the disease and the charitable sector as I wanted to know more.  In my mind, I was sure there had to be a big cancer charity that was providing support and advice as there are, for example, in breast and prostate cancer.   I was shocked to discover that in fact the charities focusing on bowel cancer were small and under-developed and realised that in part this was due to the nature of the disease and its public image.

I’ve worked in the voluntary sector for 20 years and at the time was working as a self-employed management consultant so I decided to turn my painful negative experiences into a positive by getting involved in some way.  I wrote to Bowel Cancer UK and offered to help and my probono consultancy services quickly became employment!  I became Director of Services and Strategy in June 2009 and then Chief Executive a year later.

I’m at my best professionally when I’m passionate about what I do and I think the reason this role works so well is that it brings together my personal experience with my professional skills.

What is main difference working in charity sector as opposed to the private sector?
The most obvious difference is that the charity sector is cause driven, not about profit.  Of course we want to make a profit (normally through fundraising) but then plough that back into the charity to ensure we meet our mission, in Bowel Cancer UK’s case to save lives from bowel cancer. I think charities should be run with the same rigour as a business but with a cause at their core.

To be truly effective, they should be fast moving, sharply run, independent and full of creativity and innovation.  Our ultimate aim should be to put ourselves out of business because we’ve solved the issue we are focused upon.

What were your career aspirations when you left school?
I was going to be an opera singer!  From the age of six, I was always going to be a musician – initially a cellist and then in my mid –teens I discovered, to my amazement, that I had a good voice and just loved it.  My aim was to go to music college to study singing but as I finished school when I was still 17 and young voices need looking after, I went to university first to read Music.

However I had my singing lessons at the Guildhall School of Music and Drama and was a performance major.  The idea was that afterwards I would go on to do post graduate studies.  Those plans came unstuck when I went to Africa and fell in love with it!  I had been so privileged to have a safe secure upbringing but Africa really opened my eyes to the wider world including to poverty and human rights abuse.  From that moment my attention changed from centre stage Covent Garden to a deep desire to do something for people.  I changed direction totally, stopping singing almost overnight – which I regret now to some extent.

What were you doing before this role?
I began my career in publishing but quickly moved into the voluntary sector. I have worked in many different areas, from academic think tanks to charities supporting people with a disability or who work internationally.  Directly before joining Bowel Cancer UK, I was an independent consultant for five years which I enjoyed.  I specialised in strategy, fundraising and communications and of course did lots of evaluations too.  I was also the interim CEO of the Welsh Refugee Council for a while.

I was very fortunate to have lots of really interesting work yet had the flexibility to spend more time with my children and support my husband who was newly diagnosed with leukaemia.

However, my favourite employer before Bowel Cancer UK was the Refugee Council, I started working there as a fundraiser and eventually ended up setting up a new programme looking at the root causes of refugee producing situations and asylum in the West.  I spent some time in the Balkans after the conflicts there and was deeply moved by the stories of bravery and terrible suffering.  In fact I was in Bosnia visiting families still trying to return to their homes, living in terrible conditions but with such dignity and pride on 9-11.  It was a terrible insight into what was to come.

So what draws my passion for human rights and refugees together with my passion to raise awareness of bowel cancer?  People and their amazing ability to overcome adversity and a personal desire to help where I can and where it’s appropriate to do so.

What kind of career path have you followed? Did you have a plan or react to events?
When I was in my 20s and early 30s I had a more obvious career path – I wanted to rise up through the ranks and to be a Director of Fundraising and Communications, which I achieved.  Then life happened and I moved into consultancy to try and get some balance and since then my career has been governed by personal events in my life, where my skills, experiences and interests converge.  I think what I enjoyed most about consultancy was that I was constantly being challenged and pushed out of my comfort zone which ensured I quickly extended my skill base.

I’ve finally discovered, now in my early 40s, that the most wonderful thing about getting older, is that I am much more able to accept that I’m actually quite good at some things and also feel just as fine about admitting that I will never be any good at some others!   It’s a good place to be.  Taking on a wide range of diverse projects as a consultant helped me find that out.

I’m also interested to discover that at this point in my life, I’m not very personally ambitious in terms of my career, but hugely ambitious in terms of my desire to do something of value.  I have no choice but to work as I need to make a living, so if I am going to do so, it has to be something that is socially meaningful.  If I’m honest sometimes my social conscience feels like a bit of a curse as I’m sure there must be an easier way to make a buck but I know I would lose interest pretty quickly!   My husband and close friends would tell you I am very determined and driven and I think that is fair.  When something has really grabbed my attention or needs to be done I am very focused and I will find a way to make it happen if I possibly can.

I know there will be a moment that it is right for Bowel Cancer UK that I move on, as I think new energy is important in a growing organisation, but at this moment I have no clear plan about what I will do next – no doubt something important will draw me in eventually.

Deborah, I’m pretty certain you must be an inspiration to many people, but who most inspires you?
I have been fortunate to work with some pretty inspirational people over the course of my career.  In fact some of the people who have inspired me most have been those who have overcome terrible things in their own lives yet found a way to turn a negative into a positive.  For example at the moment I am frequently moved by people who are touched by cancer either as a patient or care giver and who go on to provide support and hope to others.  I find that deeply motivating and it makes me want to do more.

What would you do differently if you were to start again? If you could give your younger self some advice what would it be?
Perhaps the biggest thing I would like to change is that I’ve always been plagued by severe self-doubt and been really tough on myself with lots of negative self-criticism.  I have a considerable expertise at identifying all the things I believe I have done wrong rather than allowing myself to enjoy successes.

Now a bit of that is a good thing, because it can keep you on your toes and I’m relieved to say that I am finally learning to channel it and turn it into a creative energy that enables me to achieve, but it has been a long hard battle.  So I think I would like to give my younger self a good talking to, so that I could stop wasting so much time dealing with negative unhelpful emotions.

What is the secret of happiness for you?
Watching Bowel Cancer UK strengthen, thrive and grow makes me happy because it means we really have a chance to have the impact we want – to save lives from and support people through bowel cancer.

However it’s my family that makes me happiest of all.  I have three beautiful children – boys of 16 and 14 and a little girl of 7.  Watching them grown and turn into wonderful people makes me both proud and happy.  Having enough time with them given the nature of my role and my daily five hour commute is difficult so time off with them is very precious.

If you could have any job you wanted (and you can’t choose your current one!) what would you absolute dream job be?
Now this is a difficult one.  Before my husband was diagnosed with cancer I had wanted to pursue an international career as I have a passion for international development and human rights, but we are tied to this country because of his ongoing treatment so I’ve had to give that up for now.

However my dream job would probably have some type of international component – looking at the international dimensions of cancer would fascinate me as it is a growing global issue yet the infrastructure in so many developing countries is very limited.  I would also be very interested in providing some training or mentoring to local charities in for example, Africa, to help them build their skills and build a sustainable local infrastructure.   You never know one day, once the children have left home, perhaps I will finally enrol for VSO and spend a year or two pursing the dream!

What advice would you give to any woman looking to work within the voluntary/charity sector?
If having an opportunity to work with like-minded people and making a difference matter to you, then go for it, but be aware you would earn more in the City!   One good way of finding out if it’s for you is to volunteer with a charity or two to get a feel of what they are like.  Remember there is a big difference between the infrastructure of the very large charities and many of the smaller ones.  You may find you get more boxed into a role in a larger organisation and they can be quite bureaucratic.

Smaller charities tend to be more flexible which means you can have the opportunity to get involved in a broader range of work, however the lack of resources can be extremely frustrating.  It all depends on what style and role you would most prefer.  Another reason volunteering can be helpful is that breaking into the charity sector can be difficult if you don’t have any experience so focusing on transferable skills and showing your commitment might help you stand out.

What’s your favourite saying/motivational quote/ fave book?
Can I cheat and have two favourite quotes?The first one is by Barack Obama, I love the sentiment in this and it rings very true to me:

‘Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it’s not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t. It’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.’

The second quote I’ve gone back to time and time again over the years, particularly when life has thrown me some tough challenges.  It has always given me hope that things will get better and the courage to embrace challenges as a necessary part of living.  It is from a longer section in ‘The Prophet’ by Kahlil Gibran entitled ‘On joy and sorrow’:

‘Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.And how else can it be?The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.’

Deborah, thank you so much for your time, your honesty and your unstinting work for what is still one of the unsung charities. I guess when it comes to our bowels we’d rather not discuss it!  But, having a had a bowel cancer scare myself last year I’m well aware that early detection and treatment is crucial. So, dear readers, please bookmark this link and share it widely. Thank you!

For more information on bowel cancer or on Bowel Cancer UK please visit www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk

Which is what makes them inspirational!

Women Writers

I know that many of you are budding writers so today I have selected three women for you here who have all published books. Read their interviews with me and be inspired to start your own opus!

Sarah Sheridan, who has written 8 novels to date! I hate to categorise but if I must I guess her genre is historical fiction. Brilliant reading and well researched historical detail.

Chris Webber is a psychotherapist who has written a fascinating book about growing older and is working on another. It’ll change your attitude to ageing!

Morag Joss who has won awards for her fiction, loosely described as crime, or mystery. You may have seen some of her work on TV. They are a great read!

I hope you enjoy the interviews and but most of all I hope they inspire you to follow your own dream!

Photo Credit: Mattox

The future is yours to create, right now.

Your Personal Development Exercise

Take a few moments to imagine yourself five or ten years from now. You’re sitting in a cafe, with a friend and you’re both reminiscing. Maybe you have a glass of chilled wine, or a mug of coffee or a cup of tea.

You’re really happy with what you’ve achieved over these last few years. You listen contentedly to your friend describing her life and now it’s your turn. What are you going to say? What do you want to see when you look back and share some significant events in your life? What would make you proud of yourself?

Focus for a few moments on the following key areas in your life and consider what, if anything, you want to change:

• Significant Others?
• Career?
• Where you live?
• Friends or family?
• Places you have visited?
• Hobbies or pastimes?
• Add your own…

What do you have to do now, this week, this month or this year to make those reflections become a reality? To allow yourself to look back in JOY, to be proud, content and fulfilled in your life?

Photo Credit: Ivan Freaner

Amy Trevaskus

Jane: Amy, before we begin on the story of your books, please can you fill in the background on how you came to be a full time carer at your relatively young age of 31?
Amy: Dad was diagnosed with Progressive Supranuclear Palsy five years ago.….It was such a shock to learn about PSP and what would happen to Dad.  We knew that Dad would get progressively worse over time and in July 2010 we accepted that he would need a full time carer. Mum had been caring for him for 5 years, had given up her job to do just that. So we decided that we would do all we could to make it so that I could care for him. In March 2010 my Mum, Sister and I opened a shop in our local town called The Blue Room – we sell local art and craft, a creative family you see! So, I gave up my day job and took a huge pay cut to care for Dad.  This worked well for all of us as it gave me the time to write and gave Mum the much needed focus.

With regards to writing the children’s books, I woke up one morning a year ago and thought ‘why are you just dreaming about being a writer – let’s make it happen’.  This was all well and good but obviously I needed to be able to pay the bills/mortgage etc and have the time to write. At the same time it was becoming increasingly difficult for my Mum to care for my Dad so to cut a long story short,we decided that I would be his carer.

This worked on many different levels. I was able to be paid to care for Dad and write at the same time.  I started my own company Hartland Creative, which is a copywriting and proofreading service and it developed from there. Through Hartland, I met a chap called Jeff Bartlett who was interested in working on a new project.  I told him about Ping and Pong and what I was writing; he loved it so we set up a publishing company with a relatively small investment from him and my Mum…

You’ve said before that Ping and Pong came about because of imaginary friends in childhood. Can you tell us a little more about that, and also, do you still have an imaginary friend? (Sometimes I think we should all have one!)
It was always a family joke that I had two imaginary friends who lived in a clock! According to Mum and Dad they came about when I was about 3 years old when I would go to the carriage clock on the top of the TV and ask Ping and Pong if they were coming out to play.  This was before my sister was born so Im guessing it was a way of me expressing myself without playing with someone else! Mum and Dad actively encouraged me to have them as I think they saw it as a bit of fun and kind of company for me!

How do you motivate yourself to put pen to paper and actually get writing?
I think of my family. I think about what an amazing childhood I had and how I would love to share Ping and Pong with others.  Recently I have seen the kids faces when I read it to them and they smile…that’s what makes me want to write more…We have faced some tough times over the past year but writing about Ping and Pong makes me smile, even when Im feeling low.

Once you’d written your first book, what did you do then? How did you get it out there to readers?
I used Twitter and Facebook to get it out there.  When you self publish, it is all down to you…the PR, marketing, advertising…everything! Recently I have been going into schools and readings to lots of kids who I have to say have fallen in love with the characters.

What advice would you give to aspiring writers?
Keep going…sometimes being a write can be isolating. I have so many ideas in my head that sometimes I think it will explode – so I write it all down. Use your imagination to create story lines, characters etc…and make sure you get it all down on paper! You learn to be quite tough being a writer and you have to accept that not everyone is going to like what you write. Also self publishing is hard work so I would say as long as you are determined then you can push yourself forward.

If you could have any career you wanted what would you choose? What does your dream look like?
I would like to be able to write full time…I would like Ping and Pong to take off so that I can make sure my Dad is looked after.  I would like to develop other ideas I have for childrens books and even TV shows. I would like to own and run my own publishing company and help others to see their words in print.

Who has the most significant positive impact on your life to date?
My Dad has had the most impact on my life – we were always close but as he deteriorates I see that he is a fighter – he wont give in to it and that spurs me on.  My Mum and sister are also a massive part of my life, we are the best of friends which helps when it comes to the tough times and also when you run a business together! Also my husband, he is the one who has to deal with me! Although on the surface I am a positive person he is the one who picks me up when I fall apart which is quite often! He brings me back down to earth (sometimes with a bang) but he is also my biggest fan. We lost a baby in November last year but have really become so much closer because of it.

Are there any children’s writers that you admire, that have inspired you to write?
I used to love Beatrix Potter. I recently watched a programme about her on TV and saw similarities in some of the things she said about writing for children, she also had a vivid imagination like I do. You have to admire JK Rowling for what she has given to the world of Childrens literature – if I can inspire even 1% of the people she has inspired then Im onto a winner!

As a child what were your favourite books?
Peter Rabbit and any of Molly Brett’s picture books.

How do you like to relax and unwind?
I like spending time with friends, going for dinner with my husband and have recently discovered the gym, which Im finding surprisingly enjoyable!

What’s your favourite piece of advice/tip for a great life?
If you always give what you always give, you will always get what you always got. Also, my own tip: Life is too short to wonder what if…if you want something, try as hard as you can to get it…if you fail, so what, at least you tried.

Amy, thank you so much. You’ve had some hard times but have great inner resourcefulness – and a lovely family too, by the sound of things! Good luck with Ping and Pong; I hope it goes from strength to strength.

And if you’d like to buy a copy of Ping and Pong, (and there’s more than one adventure now) you can get them through Amy’s web site

Yesterday I received a book in the post, which is not unusual as I often get them sent to review. Some never see the light of day as I choose only to review books that I think will be useful to you, and are a resource for women I’m happy to have on the site.

This one was slightly different as it had a note saying, “Dear Jane, here’s your copy and thank you so much for contributing!” The book is called ‘There’s More to Life Than Shoes‘(Amazon link). At that moment (It had been a long day) I couldn’t actually remember what I had contributed so turned to the back of the book to read:

‘Nadia Finer and Emily Nash were stuck in jobs that didn’t match their dreams, when they decided enough was enough, and set off on a mission to find the country’s coolest women and ask them for advice‘

Cool Women

Amongst the country’s coolest women in the book are BBC presenter of Newsnight and Desert Island Discs, Kirsty Wark, founder of the amazing Kid’s Company, Camilla Batmanghelidjh, Emma Bridgewater of pottery fame, Martha Lane Fox, founder of lastminute.com and so on. I thought at first, there must be a mistake, I can’t be in here, I thought. But I am.

I will review the book in a future post (totally without bias, of course but buy it!). The reason I wanted to share this with you is that almost to the day, 7 years ago I totally gave up my day job (I’d gone part time for the last year), to launch myself into running my own business, Changing People.

My day job was secure, I was well respected and on the career trajectory; the only way was up. But I looked up and knew it wasn’t where my heart was. With the support of my amazing family and friends I took a leap into the dark, gave up my salary and pension, and set myself up in my own business and changed my life dramatically and wonderfully.

BBC

If you had told me 8 years ago that I would be chatting to researchers on BBC’s Woman’ s Hour, appearing on an hour long radio show as a guest, being featured in my local paper on a regular basis, having my advice sought after by national magazines, been the keynote speaker at large conferences and smaller networking events, written my own book, devised my own best selling courses, and helped thousands of women make positive and lasting change in their lives I would probably have thought you were mad! And I would have been wrong.

Go For It!

If you have long held dreams in your life don’t abandon them. Take them out and dust them off. Be true to yourself. Most things are possible if you really put your mind to it. Focus your energy where you want your results. Don’t waste time bemoaning your lot, but spend that time much more profitably changing your lot. It can be done. Trust me, I’ve done it!

Photo Credit: Sharon Pruitt

Jane: Natasha, you run a very successful press agency, Talk To The Press, (we’ll talk about your awards later!) What prompted you to begin your own business?
I’d always imagined I would run my own business (my parents had done) and it was largely boredom and feeling restricted that lead me to take the plunge and leave my former job, which was as a feature writer at the Daily Mail, in 2005.

Another factor was that I knew I wanted to have children (one day) and so wanted to set myself up and establish myself as a self-employed person prior to that happening. I didn’t want to have to deal with things like having to work long hours because my boss said so once I’d had a baby, and I didn’t want to try and start a business at the same time as becoming a mum.

At the time, I had a notion I’d like to run my own press agency, but I didn’t have any grand plan at that point of what it would be like and how it would work. I worked first as a freelance writer and was regularly commissioned by national newspapers and women’s magazines for two years and then started thinking more about formalising things into a proper press agency.

At the Daily Mail, I’d regularly dealt with individuals who had, for any number of reasons, found themselves making headlines and then faced the awful situation of reporters on their doorstep, being asked to sell their story, and these were the people that I wanted to help and also that I felt confident I knew how to help.

In January 2008, I launched the Talk to the Press website. Within weeks of the website going live, I discovered I was pregnant. I already had one employee so I took on another (mainly so the girl I already employed wouldn’t be lonely during my maternity leave – not sure if that is the best reason to recruit!) and then spend 9 months frantically building up the business so it was generating enough money to pay my two employees and generate a small profit whilst I had my baby. Looking back, it must have been stressful but it didn’t feel that way at the time.

What were the biggest hurdles you faced in launching your own business? What did you find the most daunting aspect of going it alone?
I probably speak for many self employed mums when I say the biggest hurdle was juggling the business and being a very new mum. In many ways, it’s wonderful in that being my own boss, I’ve been able to spend far more time with my little boy than I would have done had I remained working on a national newspaper, especially now.

But in the early days, my time with him was probably compromised by the business’ needs. I definitely felt under more pressure that mums who have jobs and are able to go on maternity leave and not think about work. I was back at work one day a week when my little boy was six weeks old and took him into the office every Monday for a meeting with my employees.

Although I was completely committed to my business, with all the emotion and confusion that being a new mum brings, I didn’t have enough self-belief to not worry about what other people thought and to not feel judged (in a bad way) by other new mums I met at the time, who invariably weren’t even thinking about work at all.

And what was the most exciting?
The most exciting was just realising that the Talk to the Press website did work (in that people visited it and felt able to get in touch with their stories), and that increasingly people were choosing us to handle media for their stories or to sell their story.

What has been the most exciting/rewarding story you’ve covered?
We’ve worked on so many great stories, it’s difficult to say, but the ones that stand out are the times we really helped those who were making headlines. Most recently, we represented ‘supergran’ Ann Timson who became an overnight heroine after beating off a gang of jewel robbers with her handbag. It was wonderful to meet Ann and to step in and help her handle the media attention which had unnerved her somewhat. But she soon got into the swing of it and we even arranged for her to fly to New York (business class!) to appear on the Today show.

We also represented the women conned by Simon Reid, who in a story that made headlines, got together to confront him and filmed his entire reaction. We  secured them a multi media deal too which included newspapers, magazines, television, and they also went to New York to appear in the Today show – and enjoyed a two day break there while they were at it!

What did you want to be when you ‘grew up’? Were there any early indications of that entrepreneurial spirit?
Hmm, at this point I should be saying that I ran the school tuck shop and made 10p profit on every Mars Bar I sold, but that wasn’t the case! I did once hold a sale of my art, but I only sold my paintings to my parents, so I’m not sure that counts as true “entrepreneurial spirit.”

Growing up I actually wanted to be in the police force! I did psychology at university and continued being keen on the police, until the moment came when I finished university and realised in fact I was too scared of things like the dark and criminals to go into the police force. I’d actually always loved writing, and it was then I decided I’d like to be a journalist.

I think in actual fact my ‘entrepreneurial spirit’ only emerged once I was self-employed. It was only once I wasn’t in a paid job that I started to see how I could build a business, employ others and repeat the process to generate more work and money. And I found with no boss to hand you a payrise, better job title or increased responsibility, I began to think about ways I could create all that for myself.

As a journalist did you encounter any discrimination or issues because you were female and feisty?
No, I’ve never had any issues because of being a woman! Professionally, I think men enjoy bantering with women who are successful and feisty.

Do you have a mentor or someone who has inspired you?
I’m inspired by all mums who run their own businesses, and all self-made individuals.

I constantly read business books, I’ve read all books by BBC 2s ‘Dragons’, those by Sahar Hashemi and any other entrepreneurs I can get my hands on. My particular favourite is ‘How to Get Rich’ by Felix Dennis (the title is ironic, the book is brilliant). He almost sees business as a game and I love his no nonsense attitude.

I’ve also followed a book called ‘The Winner’s Bible’ which recommends visualisation as a way to see the bigger picture and what you could achieve if you set your mind to it.

But one thing I actually lack is a mentor in my life. I would love to know more women who are as driven as I am, and who have children too, and have them in my social set. I would love to be friends with someone like Anya Hindmarch, who has four children and also runs a multi million pound business. Not because she’s a ‘celebrity’, but because I would love to know women who have achieved far far more than I could even imagine, and who would make me feel I could be doing so much more than I currently am, and who could offer advice on the things I might consider doing next. I find that some of my own friends in fact make me feel as though I should either be doing less, or that what I’m doing already is more than enough.

Research shows that women consistently undersell themselves when applying for jobs (and men oversell) and that women business start ups rarely ask for enough money to get them going. Have you ever suffered from ‘hiding your light’, or felt diffident about your abilities, and what advice do you have for readers wanting to start their own business?
My business hasn’t had any funding but generally speaking, I think I definitely suffer from this. If people ask me what I do, I have been known to mutter vaguely about being a journalist and leaving it at that. I know that actually I should be saying I run a fairly successful press agency, I’ve been on TV, I’ve won awards but instead I find myself changing the subject! But it’s a British thing to underplay achievements isn’t it – no one wants to be seen as too big for their boots! What is interesting is that as my business grows, I am getting far better about talking about it and its achievements.

What is the best piece of advice you have ever been given or read?
To set goals and to constantly remind yourself what your goals are. It’s easy to get bogged down in nitty gritty, but goal setting keeps you focused on the bigger picture. By the same vein, there is a great quote, I don’t know who by, but it is ‘To avoid seasickness, look to the horizon’.

Entering awards is a brilliant way to get publicity for your business and recognition for what you do. You have won FOUR business awards. Can you tell us how that came about and what difference winning those awards has made to you and your business?
Yes, I’ve won four business awards. I won the ‘Women in Business’ award at the Startups Awards, which recognise achievements of new business in the UK. TTTP was then named ‘Outstanding New Publicity Solution’ by the Global Business Excellence awards. TTTP has also been recognised as one of the UK’s smartest small businesses, having been chosen by a judging panel including Deborah Meaden as a winner of Smarta.com’s ‘Smarta 100’ award. And I was featured on Management Today magazine’s ’35 under 35’ annual list of female high flyers. I’ve also reached the finals of two more awards.

Well, the simplest way to win awards is to enter them – so part of it is finding the time and making the effort to write out proper entries. I think a lot of people think about entering awards, and then never actually do, just as many people say ‘One day I’d like to run my own business’ but you know full well they will never do it.

Winning awards has been a great thing for Talk to the Press. I think people are naturally suspicious of journalists and to have had the business independently assessed and deemed worthy by a number of high profile entrepreneurs, including Deborah Meaden, is like a stamp of approval. For me personally, it’s been a wonderful thing in terms of confidence as well.

How do you manage to get a good work/home balance?
I think being my own boss helps. Although I do work incredibly hard, it’s all done within a time structure that I set myself and that ultimately I control. For instance, I leave at 5pm every day to pick up my little boy from nursery and then it’s me and him time until he goes to bed (although I won’t lie and say I don’t check and reply to emails on my iphone as I do!). Although of course it stresses me out when he’s sick and I find myself running my business from the sofa, I know I’m not going to get sacked.

For any mum though, getting the perfect balance is difficult and I’m not sure anyone would think they’ve done that, whether they work or not. It’s a bit like finding the Holy Grail and I’m not sure the perfect balance exists.

You founded the Notting Hill Shopping Bag scheme; what made you do that?
The Notting Hill Shopping Bag is a cotton reusable bag for tourists and locals alike sold from a number of different stalls and shops across the area, the artwork on it is designed by local school children, and 10 per cent of the profits are given to local good causes. I just set it up to see what would happen – and have sold around 11,000 bags to date.

It came about simply because I live and work in Notting Hill and love the area. The Talk to the Press offices are based on Portobello Road, and over the past few years, I have come to know many stallholders and have always enjoyed watching the ebb and flow of their businesses throughout the day and the seasons. Somewhere along the way, I noticed that there is a shortage of really nice locally-themed souvenirs for Notting Hill that aren’t naff, and I suspected that given the popularity of the area, there would be demand for something authentic.

It’s been a very different sort of business for me, and a great learning curve. It’s the first time I’ve had to worry about issues like stock levels and commodity prices (the price of cotton has risen 50 per cent since I launched), plus it’s the first time I’ve been selling a product in return for hard cash and also importing goods from overseas. It’s incredible when a delivery arrives on a huge articulated lorry, I feel quite emotional that the bags have completed their long sea journey safely and that the only reason this huge oversized vehicle has turned up in Portobello Road is because of me!

The business makes far less money than TTTP, but in a sense, it is just as rewarding. When I collect in £200 in cash from a bag stockist who has sold out of bags, it feels like just as much as an achievement as selling a story for £5000.

In a business like Talk to the Press, you never see cash, it’s electronic figures going up and down on a bank account. It’s a great thing to see sales being made in cash, to get that cash, to take that cash to the bank and then use it to buy more products and then to wait for the products to physically arrive on a lorry and have to be sold to get that cash back again. It’s back to the basics of business.

Which woman currently in the public eye do you most admire?
I admire any truly determined and driven self-made women, such as Hilary Devey, Deborah Meaden, Anya Hindmarch, Alice Temperley, Debbie Moore, Mary Portas, Claire Powell, Victoria Beckham, Kelly Hoppen, the list is endless. I devour any quotes I can from people like that in the hope of learning something new.

What’s your favourite way to relax and unwind?
A glass of wine with friends.

Do you have a favourite tip or saying or motto you’d be happy to share?
Lots of them!
‘Whether you think you can or you can’t, either way you are right’ – Henry Ford
‘All you require is you, and your ability to think things into being’ – Dr Martin Luthur King (this was particularly the case with the Notting Hill Shopping Bag which came from a thought in my mind.
And there is a fantastic poem, I don’t know who by, called ‘It’s all in the state of mind.’ To give a flavour, the first paragraph is
‘If you think you are beaten, you are
If you think you dare not, you don’t
If you’d like to win but you think you can’t, it’s almost a cinch that you won’t
If you think you’ll lose you’ve lost
For out in the world you’ll find
Success begins with a fellows will
It’s all in the state of mind.’

Natasha, thank you so much for sharing your story. There is so much here to inspire readers. Thank you very much and continued success to you and the business!

For more information visit talktothepress or email Natasha on message@talktothepress

Christine Webber

Jane: Christine, thanks so much for taking time out to share your thoughts with the readers; I’m really looking forward to this interview, our first of 2011! And my first question, what was the very first paid job you ever had? Did you like it?
Chris: My very first paid job was on the skirt counter in Marks and Spencer in Catford, in South London. I loathed it, I’m afraid. But my next job, as a ‘postman’ for the Christmas rush during my first holidays as a student, was great. And the money, with overtime, seemed like a fortune!

That’s a coincidence; my first job was on ‘hats’ in the Army and Navy stores, Bromley South. And I did the Christmas post too – very lucrative!  But you began as a singer so presumably the performing gene was quite strong. How long did that last and how did you make the break into television presenting?
I was a musical child. My parents didn’t play instruments, but my mother had a lovely contralto singing voice. I was always writing plays and dancing round the house – though never had dance lessons. I did learn the piano though, and got quite good. And then, aged 18, I went to the Guildhall School of Music and Drama to study singing. Unfortunately, it quickly became apparent that I was not the next Joan Sutherland. So when I left, I went into musicals and pantomime.

I also did some teaching, and then ventured into repertory theatre – just scratching a living, really. Finally, my big break was becoming an in-vision TV announcer. I was much better at that – which was a relief. Shortly after going to Anglia TV as an announcer, they gave me a job as a news presenter. I stayed there for 12 very happy years.

Have you ever experienced femageism in your professional career? (I.e. where younger women routinely paired with older men and older women exit stage left)
Well, there’s no doubt that older women have a tougher time in TV than older men. I left Anglia when I was 43 and that was partly because I wanted to do other things, but equally because I felt it better to leave while they still wanted me. Other colleagues did get replaced by younger women – and I had seen that happen.

Obviously, many viewers want to look at people who are easy on the eye. But at the same time, I think that it’s the men in suits, rather than the public, who keep searching for the next bright young thing. They also constantly chase advertisers with promises of delivering young audiences. This is crazy. It’s actually mid-life and older people who have more disposable cash, and who reliably watch their favourite programmes, so probably the TV companies should all be trying to attract older viewers. Why these supposedly intelligent ‘high-ups’ haven’t worked this out for themselves beats me!

Hear hear! What prompted you to write Too Young to Get Old? How easy was it to get your first book published?
My first book was a novel and I entered it into a competition run by Cosmopolitan magazine to champion new writers. I didn’t win, but my book did get shortlisted and was then read by someone at Century Hutchinson and was eventually published.  This was a huge thrill, I can tell you. I then started writing non-fiction.

I married my second husband, Dr David Delvin, in 1988. He is a sex specialist and I got interested in his work. He’d already published masses of books, including The Book of Love which was an absolute classic and  helped generations of couples to have a happier love life. Together, we wrote The Big “O” which did quite well, and then – after I’d trained for four years to get various psychotherapy qualifications – I started writing books on happiness and self-esteem as well as about relationships.

Too Young to Get Old was a completely different venture. I wanted to write something for the sassy women that we female baby boomers are. And I wanted to put together in one book lots of information about all the things we need to know if the next few decades are going to be vibrant, solvent and healthy ones. I found it quite a hard concept to sell to people. But my lovely agent, Rowan Lawton, pitched it to Piatkus, who are a great publisher. And I’ve been very happy with what they did with it. It’s going into a second edition in February.

Who has inspired you in your personal and professional life?
This list is endless. I am constantly inspired – often by something I casually read in a newspaper, or on Twitter, or see on TV. I am very influenced and inspired too by all sorts of books. Major inspirations in my life have come from a couple of my school teachers – who could see the sort of future I might be able to have, and who encouraged me.

I’ve been very influenced by one of Britain’s top marital psychiatrists, Dr Jack Dominian. Inspired too, by several cognitive-behaviour gurus – such as Aaron Beck, the founder of CBT. And my husband has been very inspiring too, in oh so many ways!

What do you think is the biggest ‘hurdle’ for professional women now? (Or maybe you don’t think there are any hurdles?)
Not sure about ‘hurdles’ exactly. But I think the major worry for professional women is whether or not to have children – and if so, at what point. That’s at the heart of what lots of women want to discuss when they come to my practice in Harley Street.
I think another hazard is that few of us really live in the moment, and enjoy it. When we don’t do that, everything becomes such a struggle, because we are constantly striving but never looking around and going: ‘Hey, I’ve come a long way. My life is exciting and challenging. And I am happy in it.’

What has been the best piece of advice you have ever been given?
My husband has given me loads of advice through the years on punctuation. Does that count? It’s certainly been useful.

What piece of advice or knowledge do you wish you had known at age 18?
I wish I’d known that I would find true love eventually, so I could have stopped agonising about it and just had a good time.

What advice would you give to any aspiring writers out there?
I think ‘just do it’ pretty well sums it up. There are hordes of people who believe they have a book in them. And probably lots of them do. The difference between them and those who get published is often simply that the latter group actually put in the time and do the writing. You are not a writer if you just think about writing, but don’t write.

How do manage the work home balance with your busy career? You work often with your partner, Dr David Delvin Does that make it easier or more difficult to break from work?
I have a good balance between working with David, and working on my own. When we got together, in 1987, we made a vow that neither of us would take a job that involved an overnight stay if the other couldn’t go. I’m sure that some people would find that limiting, but it has worked for us.

At this stage in my life it’s much easier actually to have balance and time to myself than it used to be. I look at women in their 30s who are managing a home, a career, a man, and bringing up children and I just marvel at how they can do all these things. Truth to tell, many of them look exhausted much of the time. And no wonder.  I’ve come to believe that lack of balance in people’s lives is a major source of unhappiness and fatigue.

What’s your favourite way to relax?
Some years ago, I bought a very nice piano. Trouble is, I rarely play it. But my resolution for 2011 is to make time, as it’s a wonderful way to de-stress. I also love exercise (and when I was hopeless at games and always the last person to be picked for any team, I’d have been amazed by that!) – especially the ballet class I go to at Pineapple. I watch loads of rugby on the box and adore it. I listen to lots of music. I enjoy the cinema – especially the lovely Duke of York’s here in Brighton where you can sit on sofas and eat cake and drink wine or coffee. I love going to the theatre and to opera and to concerts. In fact, it sounds really as if my life is one big relaxation. I wonder if I ought to fit in some more work!

What has been the best mistake you ever made?
I have made countless mistakes. For a start, I should definitely have saved more money when I had regular work in television. But I try not to dwell on mistakes. Regret is pointless. I am very much a ‘looking forward’ sort of person rather than one who looks back. You just have to say: ‘I made that choice then. It seemed right at the time. No point in beating myself up over it.’ There’s no harm in resolving not to be that stupid again however!

What are you most proud of in your life?
I think I’m probably most proud of having built a happy and mutually loving marriage with David – mostly because I used to think that a happy relationship was something that only other people could expect. I also delight in being a step mum and step granny.
Work of course has always been vital to me, and I am very pleased with some of the jobs I’ve had. Not sure if ‘proud’ is quite the right word for that.

I am often proud of clients when they really work to make their lives happier and more balanced – and when they triumph over the broken hearts that often bring them to me in the first place.

If you could be anywhere in the world right now, with anyone from history or the present, where and who would you choose?
Seems to me that for a woman with a moderately good brain, who comes from a very ordinary family, there’s never been a better time than now.
Heaven knows what I would have done if I’d been born before women were allowed to work or have their own money. I think I would have felt very hampered and frustrated. Also, I am hopeless at needlework, which I’m sure was a necessary skill for all females. Probably my best move would have been to try and be some rich man’s mistress. I might have managed that.

Seriously though, I’m sure that to have lived in Vienna any time between about 1780 and 1930 would have been very interesting, though it might not have been great if you were seriously poor. If you think about all the composers who produced a  phenomenal body of work in that city – Mozart, Beethoven, Schubert etc – it must have been an amazing period with them all concentrated in the one place. Also, it would have been interesting to be in Vienna when Freud and Jung and others were making huge leaps in psychological medicine. But probably to have entered fully into either a musical life or an academic one, it would have been better to have been born male, rich – and healthy. No penicillin, after all!

You have masses of really helpful information in ‘Too Young’, but what’s your best tip for growing older?
Do as much exercise as you feel you can – and then do a bit more than that! What I learned through researching my book is that exercise is the best way to keep in trim and to keep mobile, and to keep your brain healthy. Most of us have loads of ambitions yet to fulfil, but we’re not going to achieve them if we succumb to immobility, serious physical illness, or dementia. Really, what I learned as I wrote was that we are – to a large extent – the architects of our own old age, and if we want to be healthy and viable we really need to put in a lot of effort.

Christine, thank you so much for this; a brilliant start to the Inspirational Women section of 2011 and I wish you huge success this year. I hear your latest book has been so successful it’s now going into a second edition. Congratulations!

I’ll be reviewing Christine’s latest book in my next newsletter so look out for that. You can find out more about Christine  through her own web site by clicking here.

So I thought it might be fun if I asked you some of the questions. Please choose one or two to answer and share with other readers via the comments section of  the blog. Don’t compare, never compare. You are unique. Something you have to say might just be the magic push someone else needs to make a significant change in their life!

Here are some typical interview questions that I ask of my Inspirational Women. Answer them honestly about yourself, no hiding of lights!

Your Questions

1) What was your very first paid job, and do you use any skills you acquired then in your present role?

2) Which person had had the biggest influence in your life so far?

3) What is the best piece of advice you have been given?

4) What is the best piece of advice you have ever given and to whom?

5) Have you ever encountered sexism in your working or personal life and if so, how did you deal with it?

6) How do you relax?

7) Did you plan your career/life or have events just happened?

8) What has been your best mistake and why?

9) What is the best thing for you when you’re feeling stressed?

10) What is your favourite saying, or piece of poetry, or book?

11) What has been your biggest achievement to date, the thing in your life that you are most proud of?

12) If you could change one thing in your life right now, what would it be?

Even if you don’t want to share any of your answers, do have a go at the questions. And forward this link to anyone you think would enjoy answering them too. I think you’ll end up inspiring yourself! In my experience, most women are very good at underselling themselves and it takes an exercise like this that makes you realise just how WONDERFUL YOU ARE!

Life Changing

Recently I had a life changing experience of my own. I’ll spare you the details but suffice it to say my doctor thought I might have a life threatening illness and sent me on a succession of emergency tests. To my relief it turns out that I do not have a life threatening illness but something manageable.

I had discussed this with a good friend who said, ‘whatever the outcome, this will change your life’. And he’s right. Facing the prospect, however slight, that your life might not be going according to your plan is a salutory experience, a life changing experience.

Life Changes Can be Fun!

But life changing experiences are not always so serious! Often it’s moments of pure joy that change our lives, like births, falling in love, or even attending a course that gives you a new insight and direction in life!

What have been your life changing moments? What events in your life have caused you to re-evaluate and make positive changes in your life? Was it a person, or an event? My Inspirational Women series has many examples of women who have made positive changes in their lives; here are two of them:

Natascha Barrymore was so touched by the devastation of the Asian Tsunami that she gave up her old life totally. Her story is here.

And Susan Denmark was inspired by illness to take herself off to the Northern lights!

Please do share your own life changing moments; I’d love to hear from you - your story will inspire others!