Top Tip for 2012!
It’s the end of the year and my advice to you is don’t make any New Year Resolutions!
Really, it s probably not a good time. You’re probably tired, you may have over eaten (No, surely not!), you may have over indulged in other ways, probably have a backlog of work waiting on your desk, and may be thinking about money, or lack thereof. And everyone is talking about New year resolutions. (Including me, sorry!)
So, Jane, I hear you cry, so if I’m not to join everyone else in making new year resolutions on 1st January which I struggle to keep and abandon half way through January to be plagued with guilt feelings until about mid February when I get back to normal…sort of, what should I do be doing?
Well, dear reader, far be it from me to tell you what to do but as a coach and writer of personal development courses for women (I can’t help myself) I do have a suggestion you might like to try.
Look Back in Kindness
Lots of good things will have happened to you in 2011. Take some time to recognise what those good things were. Generally these things aren’t just random; you probably did something to help those good things happen. However, we all have a tendency to focus on what went wrong and your head may be full of what didn’t go the way you wanted it to. But even when things seem to go wrong good can result.
Name Calling
Often at this time of the year we are calling ourselves names, (so fat, so feckless with money, so disorganised etc) and we set about resolving to ‘fix’ ourselves. We’re not kind to ourselves. We can start with an assumption that we need fixing.
We’re staring with a negative.
Which is not a good place to start. So accentuate the positive! Look back on your year in kindness and remember all the good that came out of 2011, all those minor triumphs. It may be the job interview that you got really great feed back from (whether you got the job or not), the new friend you made, the new skill you learned, or the wisdom about yourself you accrued (and it’s harder to accrue wisdom if nothing ever goes wrong in your life!)
And that’s it. That’s my tip for 2012. Go forth into 2012 tonight with a kindly view of 2011. Build on the good, let go of the bad. Take an appreciative inquiry view to life and be true to yourself!
And have a fabulous 2012, being you!
Photo Credit: Free Graphics
Answer One Question & Have a Good Week-end!
Well it’s Friday! For most of us it’s the end of the week (being married to a fire-fighter I’m very mindful that lots of you work all sorts of hours!)
However your week has been, good, bad or average, you are at the end of it. Woo Hoo!
In the spirit of appreciative inquiry (click the link to read more on this topic), take a few moments to review what has gone well for you this week. Even in the worst of times something will have worked well for you. Make a quick list of those moments.
If you can, identify what actually caused those things to work well. Maybe you were particularly intuitive, or took the initiative? Maybe you had done some preparation or maybe you acted spontaneously? Perhaps you tried a very small change in your routine or stuck with your tried and tested methods? Or talked to someone new, or listened to advice?
Whatever it was, make a note of it and take all the good from this week into the next, and leave the less than wonderful stuff in the past!
Happy week end!
Photo Credit: Mohammed Karim
Appreciative Inquiry and Change!
As humans we are spectacularly good at looking on the gloomy side. If I’m running a change workshop or one of my personal development courses and ask for examples of what’s not working I am usually inundated. But ask a different question, what is going well? or what do you do well? and the responses can dry up.
Moaning is Habit
Sometimes we just get into the habit of moaning. Low grade, not terribly serious, moaning. In fact, it can become a part of the culture of a workplace, particularly one undergoing change (and let’s face it, most workplaces have been experiencing change over the last few years). Moaning helps us bond with our fellow workers. In fact, we might even feel a bit guilty about being chirpy and moan even when we feel alright with the world. Does that sound familiar?
It’s insidious and it drags you down. Over time it will sap your motivation and you run the danger of becoming a drain (see ‘Drains and Radiators’). It’s not helpful to you at all.
Appreciative Inquiry
Which is why when working with groups at some point I’ll introduce the principles of Appreciative Inquiry, or, as I like to call it, the Pollyanna moment!
In brief, appreciative inquiry means shifting the focus off what isn’t working onto what is! Don’t waste your energy on looking at what you don’t like, what doesn’t work for you, but focus on the positive. Using the principles of appreciative inquiry throughout a change process can really bring out the best in people, tap into creativity and positivity.
You can start the process by simply thinking, ‘what works well in my life’? When work is good what is going well? Challenge your assumptions and the assumptions of your work place or working group. The assumptions are beliefs (unwritten rules) that have grown up over time which become the framework or context for all other decisions. You’re probably not even aware of them on a conscious level.
An example is flexible working. A few years back an assumption in many places was that everyone had to work the same hours and be available to each other at the same time; the assumption was that business couldn’t be done any other way. (Some places still hold this assumption or belief). But once companies rid themselves of this assumption they can begin to look creatively and positively at how work could be and introduce creative working practices which enhance the end result.
Challenging Assumptions Means Change
Once you begin to question in this way more will follow. Other long held assumptions will get questioned. Some will embrace this others will feel threatened and insecure and resist.
Here are 8 assumptions of Appreciative Inquiry:
- In every group or society, organisation something works
- What we focus on becomes our reality
- Reality is created in the moment, there can be multiple realities
- The act of asking questions in organisations or groups influences the group in some way
- People have more confidence and comfort in changing their future (unknown) when they can carry with them bits of their past (known things)
- When carrying forward it should be what’s best of the past
- It is important to value differences
- The language we use helps create our reality
In brief, if you view life as a problem to be solved you won’t be comfortable with Appreciative Inquiry. Appreciative Inquiry takes the view that life is a mystery to be embraced. Problem solving means you spend energy on identifying what is wrong and then trying to put it right. Missing the opportunity to look at all that is going really well can mean introducing a solution to fix the wrong bit, which impacts on all the good bits… I hear this regularly when working with organisations and change:
‘It used to work perfectly until…’
‘I could help customers much more until we had this new rule...’
I’m sure you can come up with examples from your own experience – the baby out with the bathwater syndrome!
Appreciative Inquiry Questions to help you cope with organisational change:
- Think back over your career in the organisation. Try to pin point a real highpoint for you, when you felt really engaged and effective at what you do. How did you feel? What circumstances made that possible?
- Think about what you value most about yourself, what value you bring into the organisation. Don’t be modest.
- If you could have 3 do-able, concrete wishes for your company or organisation what would they be?
- What do you want to take with you into the future?
Photo Credit: Cylonka
Two Questions to Ask Today!
Just for today, why not try and have an Appreciative Inquiry day?
- Appreciation means to recognize and value the contributions or attributes of things and people around us.
- Inquiry means to explore and discover, in the spirit of seeking to better understand, and being open to new possibilities.
Put the two together and this means that by appreciating what is good and valuable in the present situation, we can discover and learn about ways to effect positive change for the future. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? Of course it’s not quite that simple, especially if we have got stuck in another way of behaving. But if you practice it does become easier, I promise!
Have a go at it for the next 24 hours. Think of it as your Pollyanna personna!
Your two questions for today are:
- What is working well in my life, what is good?
- How can I do more of it?
That’s it! Just two simple questions. Give it a whirl and let me know how you get on. No negativity allowed all day…
Photo Credit: Andrejs Pidjass
Inquire Appreciatively!
Appreciative Inquiry is based on the principle of doing more of what works, and not getting bogged down in the negativity of what doesn’t!
So here’s a simple exercise for you:
What works really well in your life right now?
Why is it working so well? What is your role in this, what skills, qualities and attributes are you bringing to bear on the situation?
What could you be doing more of in order to bring more of this success into your life?
Team Building Day Tips
In times of change and austerity team building can fall off the agenda, which is somewhat short-sighted as a good team day can revitalise lots of staff in a very cost effective way, and help them manage times of change. Team building (or team development) is very important to organisations, and to employees. However, if not enough attention is paid to what you want from a team day, it can go spectacularly wrong!
Here are my tips for a good one:
- Lower your expectations. If you have a long standing problem in your team one day is unlikely to fix it. It should help you identify a plan for dealing with it but rarely does a single team day fix it, whatever anyone says on the day!
- Don’t fill your time so that no one has time to think. The normal working week is usually chock full so design a team day that will allow people some time and space to reflect.
- Remember that location can have a dramatic effect on how people approach the day. And a nice lunch always helps!
- You don’t always need an external person. Try asking the team to design their day.
- Sometimes you do need an external facilitator, especially if it’s important that the manager participates. Otherwise you run the risk of just perpetuating what goes on day after day in your workplace.
- Don’t put pressure on people to ‘emote’. This is work and people’s feelings and personal issues should be respected. If it is appropriate to address those type of issues do it privately. Allow people to keep their dignity.Remember that the power of the group may mean people say things that they later regret or cannot follow through on.
- If you are using an external facilitator for your team day ask for some follow up to keep you focussed on your aims.
- Have a laugh! Invoke the spirit of appreciative inquiry and don’t focus only on what is wrong. Spend a lot of time congratulating yourselves on what you also do well and plan to do more of that!
I have run numerous team days using the above principles and I love it. I use all sorts of different techniques like knitting (yes, I did say knitting-you’d be surprised!), music, visualisations, but definitely never, ever any role play! I want everyone to have a positive experience, not sit in fear and dread most of the day! Each day is designed specifically for the client; I don’t follow a pre-set plan or programme.
If you’d like to talk to me, at no obligation, about your own team development you can call me on 01761 438749 or use the enquiries page.
