Age is No Bar – To Anything!
How does this sound to you – Age is no bar to anything.
If you’re thinking ” yes it is, I can’t be a ballet dancer now I’m past 45″, well, maybe you can’t be a professional dancer, but you can still dance or still enjoy dance! There are three women over 60 in the current series of Strictly Come Dancing and two of them are excellent! Women are confounding all the hackneyed stereotypes about older women.
I don’t think there’s ever been a better time to be an older woman in western society, (unless, allegedly, if you work for the BBC where femageism seems rife)
A Few Facts on Ageing
- A woman who is 65 today can expect to live, on average, to 85.
- A man who is 65 today can expect to live, on average, to 82
- With every decade our life expectancy increases by 2 years.
- By 2025 half the UK population will be over 50 and there will be fewer people under 18.
- Currently, there are more people in the UK over 60 than there are children.
We chronically advantaged women are in the ascendancy!
I have a photo of me, aged 6 months, sitting on my grandmother’s knee. I recently realised with a shock, that at the time that photo was taken my grandmother was exactly the same age as me. Yet what a huge difference in our experience of life, even down to how we look. She is wearing a traditional ‘old woman’s’ garb. I wear clothes borrowed from my daughter or given to me by her friends! (Don’t panic, I’m well covered up!)
Still Planning Ahead
At 55 I don’t feel like my life is nearly over; I feel it’s still opening up to me. I am having more fun professionally than I ever have in my life before and learning so many new things. And the more you learn new things, the better the brain adapts. Forget all that rubbish about brain fade, the evidence contradicts it. It really is all in your head!
When I’m coaching women, of whatever age, so often the limits and barriers they see are in their heads, not always in their reality. Thinking that you can’t do something generally means that you can’t. Instead try thinking that you can, which generally means that you can! You may just have to approach getting there by a slightly different route.
Here’s an exercise to try to boost your confidence:
Individually, imagine you are being interviewed by one of the Sunday supplements under a heading, ‘Lessons I have learned in my adult life’. Get as many things down as you can, silly or daft, serious, sad and funny.
For example, I have learned that even though you think your heart is broken it does mend. That if I mix drinking gin with red wine I’ll now get a hangover (although I didn’t at 18!) Or that it’s not worth getting annoyed about some work things because you’ll never change them. And job interviews are a lottery sometimes. And that I love getting older and wiser!
Once you have at least 12 things written down I’d like you now to think more specifically about the skills you have acquired during your working life. Think back to that first job when maybe you were a bit wet behind the ears. Think soft skills as well as things like qualifications. Have you become more patient, or more assertive? Again, get at least 12 down.
Look down your list. Congratulate yourself on the things you have achieved, and make a list of things you’d still like to achieve. And now plan how to achieve them! Setting goals is not just for the young.
The important thing is never to stop dreaming, never stop planning ahead. Don’t let a mere number hold you back. Stay alive and kicking in your head and grab all the opportunities which come your way!
Which older women most inspire you?
Just Enjoy!
Today is my birthday. I was born in 1955 and today I am 55 years old. There seems a certain symmetry about those numbers.
Age has never bothered me and I have never lied about my age (except maybe in a pub once or twice….) OK, I have never pretended to be younger than I am!
I love the wisdom that comes with ageing. I think we should celebrate every passing year for the experience and wisdom it brings with it. And I will be doing just that, having a really joyful day with people I love.
And just to spread that joy, here is a link to one of the most uplifting videos I have seen recently. Please do watch it if you can spare 5 minutes. I guarantee it will make you smile. Dance and be happy! I will be!
Have a great day!
Inspirational Women – Maya Angelou
There has been so much written about Maya Angelou that I’m fairly sure you will have heard or seen this before, but it’s so lovely and inspirational I make no apology for reproducing it once again. Enjoy and share with those you care about!
Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older. Maya replied that it was ‘exciting…’
And she also said:
‘I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.’
‘I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.’
‘I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.’
‘I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same thing as making a life.’
‘I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.’
‘I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back…’
‘I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision..’
‘I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one..’
‘I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back…’
‘I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn..’
‘I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.’
This link will take you to Maya’s official site. And incidentally, Maya is now in her eighties and still phenomenal!
Don’t Be a ‘Has Been’!
One of my favourite quotes is this one from Lauren Bacall who, when asked about being an older actress, said: “I am not a has been- I am a will be!”
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking life stops at a certain age - because you never made it to the Corps de Ballet it’s all over for you now! It isn’t. You never stop learning and developing. There are always opportunities to realise new things about yourself from reading about different philosophies to creating a whole new career for yourself. Age is not a barrier.
So if you catch yourself saying something like “Well, in my day we…” STOP! You’re alive so it’s still YOUR DAY! Grab it with both hands and enjoy your life, all of your life!
