Advice? It’s a Gift!

We all get offered unasked for advice from time to time. Does your heart sink as you hear the fateful words “If I were you I’d …?

Yes, mine does too.

But not all advice is useless even when unwanted. The trouble is if we haven’t asked for it we tend to automatically stop listening to it and thereby possible missing an absolute gem!

So here’s a tip. The next time someone proffers you some advice, think of it as a gift from your favourite Auntie.

In your mind’s eye see them giving you an unexpected gift. Stop, smile and listen. Once unwrapped it may be something so tasteless that you’ll be offering it to the nearest charity shop as soon as you possibly can. But they have given you a gift and as you’re a polite woman you’ll say thanks so very much and not hurt their feelings by dashing it to the ground.

You may not want to give it pride of place on your mantle piece but it might make it to the spare bedroom. And one day, as things change, maybe it will just look good in a more prominent place! You’ll never know if you don’t unwrap it!

What’s the best piece of advice anyone has ever given you?

Photo Credit: Marija Jura

3 Life Coaching Lessons from Cats!

I have two cats; I am, in fact,  a mad cat lady in training. That soubriquet was given to me in fun by Jim Connolly a few years ago when I first acquired my two rescue kittens.

I like the title (heaven knows, I’ve had much worse!) Cats have a lot to teach us; my cats may be a tad atypical as they were rescued at a very young age and were not brought up by a cat, but by me! But this is what I have learned from cats and these could be good lessons for you to follow this week end:

3 Life Coaching Lessons from Cats

• Eat and sleep when you need to, not when others think you should.
• If you need a hug ask for one (although not necessarily by rolling on the ground exposing your furry stomach. You know what I mean!). Let people give you a stroke now and again. And offer the odd snuggle back as you’ll find it results in more hugs!
• To your own self be true. If doing something doesn’t feel right to you, it’s probably not right for you. Trust your instincts and care more about what you think of yourself than what others think of you. Be an individual cool cat!

What life lessons has pet owning taught you? Please share!

Photo Credit: Pepiotana

Who’s Holding You Back?

If you’ve decided the time is right to make some positive and lasting changes in your life, I salute you! It’s not easy and I hope you find some material on this site which will inspire and motivate you! That’s why I write it, after all.

Sadly, you will probably find that not everyone is supportive of your new outlook. It’s not usually because they are unkind people; in fact, it may be those closest to you who seem to be subtly undermining your efforts. And that’s because when you begin to change they can feel threatened.

Change is Good?

You are probably feeling great about having decided to make some positive life changes but for people close to us it can feel like a threat to the status quo. They may not even be aware of it on a conscious level but subconsciously they may be sabotaging your efforts, like offering the woman who wants to lose weight a cream cake!

Your decision to make changes in your life may be viewed as a criticism of what has gone before. They may feel they weren’t ‘good enough’ or that you have been unhappy and they didn’t realise.

Seek Support

You can avoid this by seeking their support early on. Ask them what they think of what you’re planning. Explain why you want to change. You can admit to feeling a bit unsure yourself and explain that their support is important to you. Involve them. Research also shows that women who tell people about their resolutions usually do better in achieving them!

Photo Credit: Pablonsky

Do You Trust Yourself?

How many people in your life do you trust, really trust? How many people are there in whose opinions you have total confidence?

I hope you can count quite a few. Did you include yourself? Do you trust yourself and your own instincts? Do you have confidence in what you can do and the decisions you make?

Making a Decision

When you have to make a difficult or very significant decision you may have a particular friend whose judgement you value. Or maybe a family member or parent. You may perhaps even imagine advice from someone you don’t know, or someone like a parent, who is no longer living but still a valuable inspiration to you.

It’s good to get advice. But how often do you listen to you? Do you trust your own advice? Do you find yourself thinking sometimes you ought to be doing something?

If you listen very carefully to your inner self you’ll know whether you ‘ought‘ to or not. Don’t rush it, take your time, sleep on it and listen to yourself. Trust yourself to know what is best for you. Literally ask yourself the question and wait to hear the answer in your own head. Trust that you will do what is best for you, whatever anyone else is saying. You are the architect of your own life, in charge of your own development, so take hold of it and follow your instincts.

You may think that an odd thing for me to say, spending a lot of time as I do professionally helping women at various stages in their lives. It isn’t my role to tell women what to do, but to help them work out what it is they want to do! And then to have the confidence to really go for it!

Scourer or Soft Flannel?

Do you find you often turn to the same trusted advisers for advice? Have you ever thought about trying someone else?

I was engaging in one of my favourite activities the other day – lazing in a hot scented bath listening to the radio. I reached behind me to grab for what I expected to be a soft soapy flannel and, before I realised that it wasn’t, started rubbing it across my skin.

Well, that was a bit of a shock! Not the nice smooth strokes I had been expecting but a rude awakening! Somehow I’d got hold of the bath scourer and not my luxurious flannel.

Scourer Advice or Soft Flannel?

I wouldn’t recommend a bath scourer for a luxury time, although it did ‘refresh’ me and bring a new perspective to my bath time! The surprise attack of the bath scourer certainly interrupted my quiet reveries and woke me up. Which set me thinking, who are the soft flannels in your life? Have you got friends you regularly ask for advice because you know you will get a nice soft positive stroke? You know they will be supportive and could probably predict with 99% accuracy what they might say to you. There is nothing wrong with that, we all need it from time to time and supportive friends are worth their weight in gold..

But sometimes, a soft positive stroke is not what is required. Sometimes we may need the shock of the bath scourer to shake our complacency, to wake us up and make us think again.

So, if you wanted a really honest opinion from someone, no holds barred, who would you ask? Would you ask them? Who are your bath scourers? And do you use them enough…?

Mascara and Mistakes!

Have you ever been happily putting on your eye make when a blob of rogue mascara somehow kamikazies off the wand and comes to rest on your beautifully moisturised cheek?

And have you ever left it for a moment while you continue with the doey eyed look you’re aiming for with that new eye shadow, only to find when you then flick at it that it leaves a large black smear on your face?

And have you then tried to wipe it off with loo paper only to find that a bigger mark appears and that one cheek looks decidedly un-moisturised, red and blotchy, and your carefully applied make up is ruined and you look like you’re about to set out on Army manoeuvres?

And you have to start again?

Have you then been and bought a product which takes mascara off with the minimum of fuss? Possibly even eschewed the loo paper for soft organic cotton wool? You may have had to try a few products until you’ve found one that suits you but eventually you settle on one that works well for you.

And My Point Is…?

I am frequently asked how do I do this or that in relation to my business and my web site. The truth is, of course, that I don’t actually do it all myself. I have done the career equivalent of blobbing mascara all over my face and then going for the quick fix (hurriedly grabbed loo paper!). And really it hasn’t worked well…not the look I was aiming for…

Just to be clear, I write all my own material, I design and deliver all my own courses, I write my own talks, but when it’s necessary I bring in the experts. Or the purpose designed make up remover! I have learned that sometimes an investment of time or money at the right time saves masses of both later on.

If you are struggling at this moment in time, maybe with job applications, starting a new blog, serious relationship issues,career indecision, whatever it is; do think about getting some expert help in. You may just need a little advice, you may need more. You may have to compromise according to your purse, but remember there is lots of free advice out there too. If you want to be professional in your approach, develop yourself and your skills then seek out good, sound professional advice which suits you and your style.

Or give up wearing make up!

If you have any examples of your own mascara blob you’re happy to share, I’d love to hear! It may stop some of us making the same mistake!