Women and Careers Tip 5

Questions?

Assertive women in the workplace can still find themselves described as ‘too pushy’ or ‘bossy’.

Consequently, many of us have learned behaviours to mitigate against being labelled thus. Instead of directly owning our ideas in meetings or at work, we offer it in the form of a question. For example, ’Do you think it might be better if we….?’

If you find yourself doing this too often stop! You are giving away your power and your ideas and probably irritating others. (Although in other areas of it can be very emotionally intelligent to use this type of communication in order to be sensitive to others feelings).

At work, if you have an idea or statement to put forward. make sure you take responsibility and ownership. Don’t offer it as a gift for someone else to enjoy. You might get the blame, but then again, you might get the credit!

Women and Careers Tip 4

Number 4 in my occasional series of tips for women who want to advance their careers!

Listen

On the face of it this seems really easy but it isn’t! Listening well is a real art and a good listener will be a well informed woman. People also love being listened to, so some of that feel good factor is attributed to the listener

Allow the Silence

Next time you are in a meeting and an awkward silence ensues, don’t rush to fill it, or feel responsible for rescuing the situation. Just let it be for a while. If this makes you feel uncomfortable ask yourself why. The person who knows how to hold their counsel on occasion is often seen as wise and thoughtful.

John Harvery Jones once said that a meeting without silences meant no one was thinking. Study the body language of your colleagues, aim to look comfortable and relaxed yourself but don’t rush in. Use the space to think!

Listen Well

Practise good listening in other areas of your life. When asked a question, or to solve a problem, don’t always rush to add your own thoughts or experiences but instead, from time to time, practise focussing on the person speaking to you. Ask them questions about what they actually mean. Get them to clarify and give examples. Don’t feel rushed into a response but tell them you’d like some time to consider and come back to them with a response (always get back to them though!)

Women and Careers Tip 3

Tip Number 3 for women who want to advance in their careers!

TIP 3:

Treat Men as Equals

You may think that sounds daft but I have worked around a number of women who, often without realising it, defer to men at work. They will even not demur if a man interrupts them when making a serious point or presentation (see this article for how often that happens!) That clearly has implications for their professional development and how they are seen by colleagues.

Senior, not Better

It is particularly noticeable with senior men in an organisation. Sometimes men will take a paternal attitude towards younger women coming through the management system. This can result in women taking on a childlike role and deferring to the senior male. It is quite likely that this scenario will be related to the relationships that the women have experienced with their own fathers or significant males in their lives. The dynamics of that relationship may well be played out in the workplace.

Not A Father Figure

So if you find yourself behaving in a different way around senior males in the organisation it might help to ask yourselves these questions:

Does he at some level remind me of my father or equivalent?

Why am I handing over my own personal power to him?

How do I act- what is different about the way I behave?

And if you find this is happening then practise giving yourself the message ‘I am as good as him. I am an adult and will behave as one’ . This article on Transactional Analysis may also be of interest.

Women and Careers Tip 2

Number two in my occasional series of TIPS for WOMEN wanting to advance their careers!

TIP TWO:
Women, take what is your due

This tip was given to me by an amazing woman who was a guest speaker on one of my training courses. She was very senior in her organisation and had noticed an interesting difference between the men and women she managed.

Don’t Over Explain

When the men approached her for leave they simply asked for the dates they wanted, without further explanation. The women on the other hand, she noted, were almost apologetic about asking for their leave entitlement and generally prefaced their request with a lengthy explanation of exactly why they wanted a day off. For example, ‘I have to take my son to the dentist’ or ‘Sorry, but my daughter is going on a school trip’ etc.

Her view was that this over explaining made the women look less professional than the men, who were probably using their time off for family matters too but didn’t feel the need to justify why they were asking. She felt that drawing attention to their out of work responsibilities disadvantaged them in the eyes of senior people, who then saw them as less professional and less likely candidates for promotion.

Regardless of your position you are allowed certain things within the terms of your contract and usually leave is one of them. It is correct and respectful to let your line manager know but think in terms of informing them, not requesting permission. If they have a problem with it they’ll let you know!

Women And Careers- Tip 1

Women and Careers

The first in an occasional series of TIPS for WOMEN in business who want to advance their careers.

TIP ONE:
Women, stop being overly modest and playing down your achievements.

Ok, no one likes a smart-ass but you can take the modesty thing too far you know! When someone compliments you on a piece of work, accept the compliment at face value and say ‘Thank you’ while looking at them (absolutely no holding  head down , looking up from under eye lashes, coy simpering allowed!)

This doesn’t mean that you don’t acknowledge the efforts of others but it does mean you must never say things like ‘Oh it was nothing really.’

Accept Compliments Gracefully

If you receive a compliment/commendation/letter of thanks for your work, a good tip is to send a copy to your line manager. They actually like to get good news once in a while, and it all helps build up your profile. Keep all such notes, emails etc in a file of your own for appraisals, job interviews, or simply to make you feel better on the bad days.

Ask For Feedback

When complimented on the quality of your work don’t be afraid to ask what it is they have found to be helpful, useful, good etc and then focus on doing more of that next time! Don’t concentrate all your attention on what you think was less good, accentuate the positive!